Wait For Me
by ennisjackgal
Summary: AU/AU story set in Jacksonville, Florida. In 2009 Ennis meets Jack while on shore leave and the two men soon create a bond that is tested by long distances and a long time apart. Over the next few years, their love for each other grows and they have to make life-changing decisions.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's notes_

_Hey guys! Here's the first chapter of my new story. As I have previously warned, the subsequent chapters will have time jumps between them which I will try to fill with the narrative as much as I can. Hope this doesn't put anyone off, and that you enjoy it!_

_Kathryn xxx_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_April 13th, 2009_

Ennis stepped off the bus and looked around him, wondering where to go first. This was his first time in Jacksonville, Florida and he was looking forward to it. The bus drove away, heading back to the port where the ship was. He had just three days here on land before they would be off again and he wanted to make the most of it.

He started walking, observing the shops around him and seeing that the civilians he passed were nodding at him in approval. He was wearing his white uniform but had some clothes to change into back at the barracks.

At twenty-six, he was a seaman but always looking for the chance to be promoted and make something of himself. His dad had been in Vietnam so Ennis wanted to make him proud; he also wanted to see the world, which was why he'd joined the Navy in particular.

He rounded a corner without looking properly and bumped into someone, who staggered backwards. "Hey, you alright?" he asked the man.

He was met by a pair of deep blue eyes, which were blinking at him in surprise. "Oh," he replied, seeing the uniform. "Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about that."

Ennis shook his head. "Wasn't watching where I was going. Didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, I'm fine." The man smiled and stuck out his hand. "I'm Jack, by the way. I take it you're on shore leave?"

"Yeah, just arrived today for a few days. I'm Ennis." They shook hands and Ennis felt a crackle of electricity run through his body, which didn't fade when Jack smiled at him.

"So, um...you new around here?" Jack asked, seeing the map in Ennis's hand. Ennis smiled guiltily.

"Yeah. First time here. Um..."

"Well...if you want, I could show you around," Jack offered, liking the look of this handsome stranger. Ennis seemed a little shy, which he found endearing. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to get attached when Ennis was only here for a few days, but he couldn't help it. There was just something about this sailor.

Ennis nodded and looked relieved. "That'd be great, thanks." They set off walking together in the direction that Jack had been heading in. Jack worked at a local bookstore close to his home, but was on the lookout for something more fulfilling that he would enjoy. There was plenty of time for him to settle down, with someone he loved.

"So...how long have you been in the Navy?" Jack asked him as they strolled.

"Well, I started training at eighteen for four years. Then I was accepted onto the ship I'm on and now I'm twenty-six. How old are you?"

"Same age," Jack replied, grinning. They were walking along Phoenix Avenue, and Ennis kept looking at the map in confusion. "Look, I know it's hard to get used to, but you soon get the hang of it. You see Main Street?" He pointed to the largest street on the map. "That divides the centre of the city between East and West, for the streets that run horizontally. Like the Springfield area. We're in the Phoenix area right now, as you know." He pointed out the different areas of the city and how they were set out, which had never been easy to figure out.

"It's still confusing," Ennis pointed out, and Jack laughed. The sound made Ennis's breath hitch; what was happening to him?

He had known for a long time that he was gay, but current legislation meant that he couldn't serve and be out at the same time. He had promised his parents to keep it a secret from the people he worked with. They both accepted him and hadn't pushed him into joining the Navy, but they did worry for him in case someone found out. A few brief relationships in college had been enough for him to know which way he was more inclined, and he hoped for something more when he'd had enough of this life.

Jack took him to the confusing area of the map, trying to explain everything to him. Ennis listened and paid attention and soon started to feel more confident in getting his bearings.

"And that's where I live," Jack then said, pointing upwards. They were on Birch Street now, near Brentwood Park, and Jack was pointing at a fourth floor window. "That's my apartment up there."

Ennis nodded. "Nice area," he commented. Jack made a sound of agreement.

"Where do you live, by the way? Where are you from?"

"Knoxville, up in Iowa," Ennis told him. "Where I lived with my folks, but I've got my own place that they're looking after while I'm away."

"Right. My folks live out on Fernandina Beach, to the North. And they live right on Ocean Avenue, great view of the ocean from up there."

By now they were wandering into another shopping district, where there were a lot of people walking around. Ennis could once again see people nodding to him, and Jack smiled. "You're getting a lot of respect there. But don't you have any more clothes with you?"

"They're at my barracks at the port," Ennis told him, looking around.

"What rank are you?"

"Seaman. Kind of like a Private in the army. I'm hoping to get a promotion before I leave."

"You're planning on leaving?"

"One day. Maybe when I'm about thirty unless...I meet someone sooner." He glanced at Jack but then tore his eyes away. Jack was just being friendly; there was no reason to think that he would be interested.

"Right." Jack thought about this; what were the chances of Ennis being gay, especially of being interested in him? With Don't Ask, Don't Tell being in effect, he knew that there wasn't much chance of him finding out.

"Say, um...you wanna get something to eat?" he offered, knowing it was around lunchtime. "My treat."

Ennis looked at his hopeful face and nodded. Maybe there could be something here after all.

* * *

Jack took Ennis to a small, steamed-up café that he loved. Out of respect for Ennis's possible desire to stay discreet, he knew it wouldn't look good to take him to a romantic restaurant. What if someone that Ennis knew saw them? That would be a disaster for him.

"Hope this is okay," he said as they approached an empty table. "Not exactly haute cuisine, but..." He shrugged, wondering if Ennis would want something nicer than this.

Ennis shook his head. "It's nice...kinda cosy, you know?" A large, mother-type woman made her way over with a pad and pen in her hands, smiling at the new arrivals.

"Hey, Jack. Ain't seen you in forever, honey."

"Wendy, I was in here the other week," Jack told her with a grin. With his own mother living so far away, Jack was glad to have her around. "This is Ennis," he added, gesturing to his new friend.

"Hey there, sailor," she replied, shaking his hand. Jack's cheeks reddened; she knew he was gay and probably thought they were together. "You on shore leave, then?"

"Yeah, for a few days. Nearly knocked Jack over when I was rounding a corner, and he offered to show me around."

"That's our Jack, he's a sweetheart," she said, smiling at them. Jack grinned and handed Ennis a menu. Their fingers brushed for a moment and he gulped.

"I'll have the usual," he said to her, and she wrote down his order. He loved the chicken pies she made.

Ennis ordered a panini and they settled into the warm atmosphere. "Wendy's kind of taken me under her wing since I moved here away from the beach. I came to college down here and got sick of commuting all the time so I moved as soon as I found a job."

"Where's she from?" Ennis asked, thinking that he recognised the accent.

"Kansas," Jack replied. "Isn't that next to Iowa?"

"Not quite. It's to the south-west, but there's Missouri first. My dad's family came from there; that's how I know the accent."

Jack nodded, and decided to throw caution to the wind. "So, um...you have someone waiting for you back up there?"

Ennis shook his head. "No. Live on my own. Um...you got anyone here?"

"No, just me. I mean...still searching for...Mr Right." He looked at Ennis carefully to gauge his reaction. There was no mistaking what he'd just said.

"Oh. So you're..."

Jack nodded again. "Yep. Known it since I was in college. Um...Ennis, if you don't wanna tell me either way, it's fine."

Ennis looked around the café; there was nobody here who knew him. "Well...I am. Gay, I mean. I dunno why I'm telling this to someone I hardly know, but..."

"It's okay. Just...interesting. I mean, you can't be out 'cos of that law. That can't be easy."

"No...none of the others know and I don't want them to. If they grass me up I might get kicked out. I really don't want that..."

"Your parents know? You said your dad was in Vietnam."

"Yeah, but he's okay with it. It was my decision to apply for the Navy. I wanted him to be proud of me anyway."

Jack smiled. "Right. So, um...are you...looking?" He was treading dangerous waters now; surely if anything happened it could only be for a few days? That wasn't something that appealed to him very much. He didn't want to end up heartbroken.

Ennis hesitated. "I don't know. Never thought about it to be honest. I figured I'd settle down once I'd quit." They looked at each other and neither of them could deny that they were attracted to each other. They had only met about an hour ago and hardly knew one another, but they couldn't ignore what they were feeling. But like Jack, Ennis wasn't sure if it would be a good idea or not. "Jack...can we talk about this another time? I don't really know what to say right now."

Jack nodded and smiled in an apology. "Yeah. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. Wasn't really fair, was it?"

"I like you, but...I don't know," Ennis told him, hoping he hadn't hurt his new friend. "Just need to think it over, you know?"

"Ennis, it's okay. Really. Don't worry about it," Jack told him sincerely. He didn't want to put any pressure on Ennis, no matter what was going on in his heart when Ennis looked at him. He couldn't deny what he felt, though. And at least Ennis did like him in that way; that was something to think about.

After lunch, Ennis and Jack walked around a little more before Jack remembered he had the afternoon shift at the bookstore soon. He told Ennis this with a heavy heart, reluctant to leave him so soon.

Ennis smiled at him. "It's okay. I can head back to the barracks for tonight." Jack realised that Ennis meant they should spend the night apart so that they wouldn't just give in to temptation, and he nodded.

"Yeah, okay. So, um...can I call you or something? Could we maybe meet up tomorrow?"

"I'd like that," Ennis replied, nodding and smiling. He found a piece of paper and wrote his number on it, giving it to Jack. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Jack walked Ennis to the bus stop where he could get a bus back to the port, and he sighed. "So, um...tomorrow, then?"

"Yep," Ennis said, and he wanted to show affection but it was too risky. "See you, Jack."

"Bye," Jack said softly as Ennis got onto the bus, clutching the paper with the number on it. he wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but he knew that something had started. He liked Ennis a lot even though he barely knew him; maybe they would get to know each other better tomorrow before Ennis left, and maybe they could keep something going while Ennis was away. It was something to feel hopeful about.

* * *

The next day, Jack didn't have to work so he'd invited Ennis to his apartment for lunch. He didn't quite know how things had been left between them the day before; it had certainly been somewhat awkward for both of them. He knew he liked Ennis a lot and was fairly sure that Ennis felt the same even though they didn't really know each other. But there was still time for them to do that before anything started.

He paced nervously as he waited for Ennis to arrive; he'd buzzed him into the building just a minute ago and couldn't wait to see him; he wanted to know if anything could happen between them.

There was a knock on the door and he took a deep breath before opening it. Ennis was dressed in everyday clothes and looked as good as he had the day before. Jack grinned. "Hey."

"Hi. Um...good to see you," Ennis replied as Jack waved him inside. "You okay?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Um...got some soup on for lunch, and it shouldn't be too long now. You wanna watch TV or something?"

"Sure." They headed for the sofa together and Jack found something for them to watch; he couldn't deny that he was incredibly nervous about having Ennis so close to him and wondered if he should be the one to bring up the subject that was on both their minds.

"Ennis...about yesterday..."

Ennis looked at him, knowing that they had to talk about it. "Yeah. I don't want you feeling like you've put pressure on me, 'cos you haven't."

Jack nodded. "I didn't mean to anyway. It's just...I like you a lot. Yesterday was a lot of fun and I enjoyed meeting you."

"Yeah. I, um...you know I'm not used to talking about it, considering where I work and what I do. But...I like you too. I just don't know if we're rushing things or not. I mean, we hardly know each other."

"Okay. But we can talk about that," Jack reasoned. "I mean...we can tell each other more about ourselves. Isn't that what being with someone is about?"

Ennis nodded. "I guess. Okay, then..." He turned to face Jack. "Favourite movies?"

"Comedy," Jack replied with a grin. "Even the bad ones. You?"

"Action. Favourite music?"

"All kinds of stuff, really. But since I grew up with 80s music, that's my favourite. What about you?"

"The same. Food?"

"Pizza," Jack replied, grinning when Ennis agreed. "This is good...see, we've got some things in common." He bit his lip. "Ennis...I'm not asking you to promise me anything. I know that you'll be away for six months before you come back, so it won't be easy for us. But I'm just saying...you know..." He tentatively reached out to take Ennis's hand in his own, and felt his heart flutter when Ennis's fingers curled around his. "We could see how it goes?"

Ennis looked into his eyes and knew that he wanted what Jack was suggesting, but he wasn't sure about what he would be asking of Jack. "It's just...asking you to be celibate for all that time...not really fair."

Jack shook his head. "Don't care. I'll be fine. So...what d'you say?" They stared at each other and Ennis realised that he did want this, more than anything else. He knew it was crazy, since they'd only known each other for twenty-four hours, but it still felt right.

"You know what?" he asked, squeezing Jack's hand. "I'm thinking...I wanna kiss you right now."

Jack grinned, liking the sound of that. "Well, um...that would...be okay," he said, wondering what it would feel like when he had those lips upon his own. Ennis shuffled closer, eyes gazing into Jack's and sending a shiver down his spine.

"You sure?" he asked softly, cupping Jack's cheek with his free hand. Jack trembled slightly at the touch, knowing in his heart that this was supposed to happen.

"Yeah." Ennis needed no further encouragement; he leaned in and gently captured Jack's lips with his own. Jack's heart soared and sparks flew; he'd never felt like this in his life. He pressed his lips against Ennis's as much as he could and was rewarded by the feeling of Ennis's tongue seeking entrance. When he opened his mouth and felt himself being explored, he moaned softly and laced his fingers through Ennis's; this was incredible.

Just as he felt himself starting to become aroused, he felt Ennis pull away for air and blinked several times. "Wow..."

"I know," Ennis breathed, staring at him in wonder. "That was...something else." He glanced at the kitchen. "Um...lunch ready yet?" he asked, and Jack shot up before something could happen to it, albeit with shaky legs after what had just happened. They had identical grins on their faces and both knew that they couldn't turn back now.

Ennis got up and leaned close to Jack, wanting to be near him. Jack shivered and tried to concentrate, but he was having trouble when he was still so turned on. He wanted more, so much more, but that definitely had to wait. It wouldn't be a good idea to invite Ennis into his bedroom right now, no matter how much they both might want to. Going too fast too soon was never a good idea and it always ended badly; he didn't want that.

Truth be told, Ennis didn't want to take things that far just yet either. If they had sex now, when things were just starting, one of them might think it was a mistake and that would be the end of it. He wanted to wait, but he hoped it wouldn't hurt Jack's feelings when he told him.

As they ate lunch together, they kept glancing up at each other and then looking away with reddening cheeks. That kiss had been amazing, and they wanted to kiss again but they also had to talk about what was going on. Both of them were painfully aware that they were on borrowed time.

* * *

After lunch, Ennis and Jack returned to the sofa and were soon kissing again. They took it slowly, not wanting to let the moment cloud their judgement. As much as they were attracted to each other, neither of them wanted to rush things.

"Mmm," Jack moaned when they broke apart for air. "You're a great kisser, you know."

Ennis smirked and kissed him again. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Can I ask you something?" Jack asked as he kissed Ennis's jaw.

"Mm?"

"How many guys have you kissed?"

Ennis paused. "Um...not many. Had a few things in college, but...nothing really serious. Never lasted long. You?"

"Pretty much the same. Are you, um...a virgin?"

"Depends. Had a girlfriend in high school, so not in that way. As for guys? Yeah, I am."

"Me too," Jack confessed, feeling suddenly shy. "I mean...I had offers, but I didn't wanna do it with someone random. Call me an old romantic, but I'd rather do it with someone that means something to me."

Ennis nodded. "I think that's smart...you know what you want. I've thought about it too, but...never found anyone I wanted to do it with."

"Right." Knowing that he had to ask Ennis this was hard for him to admit, but he just had to know what might happen for them. He did want to sleep with Ennis, but he didn't want just a one night stand where Ennis would leave him the next morning to go back to the ship. This was quite a dilemma. "So...would you ever consider...you know...with me?"

Ennis smiled and stroked his cheek. "Yeah, I would. Already have, to be honest." Jack bit his lip; he was glad for that answer and didn't know how to tell Ennis that it was too soon.

"Um...look, I...I wanna do it too but...we still hardly know each other. I just don't wanna rush into anything...and I know that you're probably pissed at me now for saying that, but..."

"Jack..." Ennis took his hands. "It's okay. I do wanna do it with you, but you're right. It's too soon for that and if we rush into anything we might regret it. I know what most people think of sailors on shore leave, and the whole 'girl in every port' thing. I know some guys who actually do that. Different bed every time they touch on land. But I never wanted to do that stuff, not even with guys. It just seems...tacky. I never saw the appeal of doing it with someone that you've only just met just for the hell of it."

Jack sighed. "Ennis...I was thinking that I might have to let you down gently, but..."

"But it's okay because I think we're both thinking the same thing now. As much as I like you, it's way too soon for that. I'd just feel like I was taking advantage of you being here and liking me. It's just not right for me to drag you into that bedroom now, and I've got more pride than that."

Jack nodded. "That's fine with me, Ennis. I know that all of this is crazy, since we've only just met. We're talking about sex and a relationship already...anyone would think we've been drinking or something else."

"Well...it is weird, I guess. But it doesn't feel weird, really. Just feels right, you know?" He laced their fingers together. "I like you a whole lot, Jack. I just don't wanna rush it."

Jack kissed him and rested his head on Ennis's shoulder. "Me neither. This is nice...I like this, right now. Kissing and talking...I'm comfortable with this..."

Ennis smiled. "Well...when you are ready, just let me know. Whether it's my next visit here or the one after or whatever..."

"Um...I think...your next visit would be okay. It'll be six months from now and we can call each other, right?"

"Yeah, I can call you from the ship, maybe even send a letter," Ennis replied, liking the idea. Might make the time pass a little less painfully."

Jack felt content, sitting here with Ennis and tentatively making plans for the future. Neither of them knew what might happen beyond their first time together, but they wanted to find out and see for themselves. Jack wondered what his parents would think of him seeing a sailor; no doubt his mother would be proud of him for finding someone so trustworthy who could take care of him. He knew she would worry about it being long-distance, though, because of how much he was bound to pine for Ennis.

The time passed and soon enough Ennis had to leave to get back to the barracks. He stood at the door with Jack, holding his hands. "I'll come by and see you in the morning, before I leave," he promised. "Is eight okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Jack replied, fighting down the lump in his throat. He didn't want to say goodbye so soon. "I'll be up for work anyway at that time." Even if he hadn't been, Jack knew he'd get up at any hour to see Ennis one last time.

"Jack...I want you to know something. For me, the hardest thing about the next six months is not being with you. But the second hardest? Not being able to talk about you to my friends. They can't know I'm gay or that I'm seeing someone."

Jack nodded. "I know. And I hate that you can't do that when you obviously want to. You'll have to be careful when you call me. Don't say my name if someone else is nearby."

"I'll think of something." Ennis smiled and brought Jack close to him for a deep kiss which Jack wished would never end. When they broke apart, Ennis whispered in his ear, "See you tomorrow."

Jack watched him go with a heavy heart. Less than forty-eight hours and he had it bad for this handsome stranger who would be away for six months. He didn't understand what had happened to him but he didn't care; he was starting to fall in love.

* * *

_April 15th, 2009_

The next morning, Jack was making breakfast for himself as he waited for Ennis. This would be their last meeting for six months and he wasn't sure how he was going to deal with the time apart. He didn't get it; they still hardly knew each other but he was starting to envision what it might be like to have a relationship with Ennis. Maybe it was just supposed to happen this way; he knew his parents hadn't been together for very long before deciding to get married, and almost thirty years later they were still together. That gave him food for thought.

The night before, he'd rummaged through his things until he'd found a journal that he had bought for himself but ended up not using; he knew that Ennis would find it hard not to talk about him, so this was the next best thing. He also had sent a photo of himself to Ennis's phone, so that Ennis could see him anytime he wanted. Then Ennis had sent one back in return, in his uniform.

Jack knew full well what he was getting into; he knew that Ennis would be away for a long time and that it wouldn't be easy, but he was quite prepared to wait. Being so certain of what he wanted did help and he knew he could cope, but he didn't have to like it. He wished that Ennis could visit more often, and he wondered how long Ennis was planning on serving.

There came a buzzing sound and he headed to the door. "Hello?"

"It's me, bud," replied Ennis's voice, sounding slightly tired.

"Come on up," Jack told him before pressing the button and returning to his breakfast. Ennis arrived in a few minutes and Jack grinned at the sight of him; he was wearing his uniform again. "You look really good in that, you know."

Ennis's cheeks reddened. "Um, thanks. Reckon the others suspect I've met someone here, judging by their faces when I told 'em I wanted to stop by. They don't know it's a guy," he assured Jack when he saw the look of concern. "I won't tell them anything about you."

Jack nodded and he kissed Ennis's cheek. "You got time for some breakfast?" he offered, and Ennis looked at his watch.

"Yeah, reckon so. I have to leave in half an hour, though..."

"Okay..." Jack turned away, trying to blink away the stinging in his eyes. But Ennis caught his face as he turned and sighed, moving closer to him.

"I know, Jack...I hate it too. But I'll call you and send you letters. Maybe I can take photos of the places we visit and send them to you."

Jack turned back to face him, managing to smile. "Sounds great. And...I really am happy for you that you get to see the world. Anybody would wanna do that if they could. Just...not that easy to say goodbye to you."

Ennis cupped his cheek, looking sadly into those deep blue eyes that had been in his dream the night before. "Darlin'..." he said, the word effortlessly slipping from his mouth. Jack blinked.

"What did you just call me?" he asked in a soft voice, eyes roaming over Ennis's face. Ennis blushed.

"Just...felt right to call you that. Don't mind, do you?"

Jack shook his head. "No...that was...nice. I liked it. I think you've found the perfect name to call me on the phone if there's other guys around."

"Yeah...guess I have." They kissed and Jack started serving breakfast. They talked about the upcoming journey as they ate and all too soon it was time for Ennis to leave. They had anticipated this, but that didn't make it any easier.

Ennis held Jack close to him, not wanting to let go. "Wish I could bring you with me," he sighed, nuzzling Jack's neck. Jack felt warm and welcoming, and he so wished that he wasn't leaving.

"Yeah. Wish it was less than six months. I'm gonna miss you a whole lot."

"Really wish I could talk about you..."

At this, Jack opened his eyes and remembered the journal. "Hang on," he said, prising himself away and heading to the coffee table, where he'd put it. "Here," he said, holding it out to Ennis with a slight smile.

"What's this?" Ennis asked, looking puzzled.

"A journal. You said last night that the hardest thing about leaving is being away from me, but the second hardest is not being able to talk about me. Well...I can't really solve either of them but...I can help with the second one. You can tell this little guy all about me, if you want," he grinned, seeing that Ennis was truly touched.

"Jack...I dunno what to say," he said, taking the journal. "Thank you." He pulled Jack close for another deep kiss, wishing that the next six months would pass quickly. They hugged tightly until they were ready to let go, or as ready as they were going to be. Ennis took Jack's hand. "Take care of yourself, bud."

"Yeah, you too. Best of luck," Jack replied, smiling even though he was hurting. "See you when you get back."

"Yep." Ennis let go of his hand and headed out of the door, smiling at Jack one last time before disappearing and closing the door behind him. Jack looked around his apartment, feeling cold even though it was a warm day. He knew he had to be strong and just focus on his own life for now until Ennis came back.

Outside, Ennis looked up at the fourth floor where he knew Jack was and silently promised that when he returned, he would not only take things further with Jack like they both wanted, but he would also tell Jack exactly how he felt. The photo on his phone would get him through the next six months when he felt lonely, and would remind him of what waited at the end of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Sunday, May 3rd 2009_

_Dear Jack,_

_Sorry it's taken me so long to write to you. Been kind of hectic on here lately ever since we set off. Always gets like that after shore leave and takes some time to get back to normal._

_We're partway across the Atlantic now, heading for Alexandria in Egypt. Never been there before, but the captain says he's got some business there with their Navy. Not sure what; he never goes into much detail, to be honest. Even if he did, I wouldn't be able to tell you. We have to keep things a secret from all civilians, unfortunately._

_It's a beautiful day, with the sun shining down. I'm in my cabin right now, though. I share it with another guy but he's up on deck. He's easy to get on with, I guess. But he's always talking about his wife, which makes me pissed off for two reasons. One is that I know he's got a girl in Europe somewhere. The other is that I can't talk about you in the same way, and I really want to. It's harder than I thought it would be, but I'll cope. I think about you all the time and look forward to coming back._

_I'll send you some photos when we get there, but it'll be a while before we do. Should arrive there by August, since we don't go very fast on this ship and we don't go very far at night because we all need to sleep. We're not even past Puerto Rico yet. But I'm looking forward to going there and I wish I could share it with you, bud._

_I wanted to let you know that I enjoyed meeting you in the city. I hadn't expected to meet anyone during my time there but I don't regret it. Even though it was just a few days, I had fun walking around with you and spending time with you. I know it's completely crazy, thinking about how little we really know each other, but it just feels right to me. _

_I don't really know what's gonna happen when I come back, but I do know that I wanna spend more time with you. I would like to take things further, but it's okay if you're not ready for that. I won't ever take advantage of you, Jack._

_I haven't told my parents about you yet, mainly because I haven't had the chance. I don't know if you want me to, considering that it's early days for us. Maybe we should just focus on that for now._

_Anyway, I'm gonna wrap this up now. I think I'll head up on deck for a while and enjoy the weather while we can. I miss you a lot already but I'm looking forward to seeing you again, can't wait for it. Even just to hold you and kiss you again...that would make me happy right now. _

_Take care of yourself, Jack. I'll see you someday._

_Ennis_

He put his pen down and read over the letter, looking for anything that he might want to add to it. It said everything that he wanted and he knew that Jack would appreciate the effort he was making, even in this digital age where he could just text Jack if he wanted to. This seemed more romantic to him. If he was going to spend months away from Jack, he might as well try to keep their fledging relationship above surface.

He had Jack's own address and Jack had the one that would enable his letters to reach the ship when he replied. He knew that his parents had done the same thing when his father had been in Vietnam, and that they had kept all of their letters from each other. Maybe one day, he and Jack would be doing the same. That was the kind of thing that gave him hope; maybe he and Jack had a future together.

He had been thinking about when he would quit the navy, more so now that he had met Jack. It all depended on how hard it became to be without him, and Ennis was sure that it wouldn't take long. But he also knew that Jack wouldn't want him to quit just so that they could be together; Jack would want him to put his career first. He was surprised to realise how much he knew Jack despite the little amount of time they had spent together.

Ennis looked over at the journal that Jack had given him; he'd written in it every night since his departure. His cabin-mate didn't bother him too much when they were alone, so he felt safe to write about Jack when the other guy was distracted or asleep. He liked his privacy anyway so he was grateful to share the cabin with someone who respected that. It was just easier.

He could take the letter to the mailing room later on so that it could be delivered to Jack; surely nobody would think twice about him sending a letter to a male friend? Ennis wondered if the law would ever change, so that he could be open about who he was and who he wanted to be with. Same-sex marriage was legal in Iowa and the thought had occurred to him, for the future if he and Jack worked things out. But that was years away and nothing was certain.

He stood up and stretched, picking up his phone so that he could look at the photo Jack had sent him. They were allowed to jerk off in the bathroom and he knew that the other guys did it, so maybe he could too now that he had someone to do it over. It would have to keep him sated until he saw Jack again; to make him feel a little less lonely if nothing else. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he was looking forward to seeing Jack again.

* * *

Ennis left his cabin and immediately spotted some of his friends talking in the corridor. He sighed inwardly, wishing he could be more open about himself like they were. He so wanted to talk about Jack and he wondered how they would react if he did. Surely they would accept him and not grass him up, like he feared? All that really mattered was that he was their friend, surely? But he was aware of how they could easily turn on him, even though he hadn't changed from when they had first met.

"Hey, Ennis!" called one of them, whose name was Robert. "Over here, bud." He went over, feeling slightly weary of hiding so much about himself.

"Yeah?"

"We're trying to decide who's gonna win the next football match. What d'you think?"

He shrugged. "No idea. Don't follow it, to be honest."

They stared at him, as if the very idea was completely alien. "You don't follow the football?"

"No...not interested."

"What, are you queer or something?" asked one of the guys, and they all laughed as if it was ludicrous. He smiled a little, albeit painfully and shook his head. He couldn't deny it, because that would be like denying Jack. He couldn't do that to him.

"He can't be," added someone else. "I know he was in the city the morning we left, seeing someone he'd met. He hooked up with a girl during shore leave, didn't you?"

"Um...well..." Ennis seriously contemplated telling them the truth. He could handle himself in a fight if he had to, but what then? He could get kicked out for telling the truth and his father would be ashamed. He wouldn't be able to go back home; that was for sure. Maybe he could stay with Jack and just hide away from it all.

"So what's her name?" someone asked, and he felt his cheeks reddening. He was just glad that they didn't know about the letter in his pocket.

"Um...Jackie," he invented, silently apologising to his friend for doing that. "She's called Jackie."

"Huh. Like Jackie Kennedy, then. You got a photo?"

Ennis shook his head. "No, sorry. She, um...she's got black hair and blue eyes. Good-looking, you know?"

They nodded their approval and he breathed a sigh of relief. At least they weren't too suspicious. He stood with them for a while talking about things while conscious of the letter he had to deliver, wondering if he should have just told the truth.

He managed to excuse himself eventually and headed down to the mailing room, sending off the letter to Jack and wondering when he might get it. They were allowed to have their phones on while off duty, so he decided to send a quick text to Jack.

_Just mailed off first letter. Hope you get it soon xxx_

Ennis walked slowly down the corridor, clearing out old messages but keeping the ones he'd had from Jack. They were special and he didn't want to delete them, at least not right now.

At last, he got a reply. He knew that Jack was working today and didn't want to disturb him with a phone call. This would have to do, no matter how much he wanted to hear Jack's voice again.

_Can't wait to read it xxx_

Ennis smiled and carried on walking, eventually finding some more of his friends in a side room playing a card game.

"Hey, Ennis," one of them greeted him. "Take a seat." They weren't as rowdy as the ones he'd met with earlier, which suited him just fine. He had his suspicions about some of the other guys but even if he was right, they might be too scared to come out because of the law. He hated how they couldn't be honest about themselves without fearing the consequences. He knew that it was the Captain's decision over what was done if one of them was found out, and he had no idea what the man thought about the whole thing. He'd never spoken out against being gay, but Ennis didn't want to take the risk.

He watched as the other guys played and even joined in for a while, liking how they didn't ask uncomfortable questions that forced him to lie about Jack. He hated making Jack out to be a woman and would apologise for it when they met again.

Ennis was starting to realise that his thoughts never strayed far from Jack. No matter what he was thinking of, it always came back to the man he'd met and the short time they'd spent together. He'd heard from some of the older ones that shore leave could last for a couple of weeks if they were lucky, and he hoped that he would get that too. Two whole weeks with Jack...that would be amazing and they could do whatever they wanted. He just couldn't stop thinking about those blue eyes and dimples, not to mention the dark hair and the mole just above his lips...

Ennis mentally shook himself; it wouldn't look good for him to have a boner in front of his male friends. Even if they were gay, they might get the wrong impression. He excused himself after the game and headed into the nearest bathroom. He needed space to breathe before someone figured it out.

He splashed water on his face and took deep breaths; what was happening to him? How could he have such strong feelings for someone that he barely knew? Why was he thinking about sex when he and Jack had only kissed a few times? He had it bad for Jack and that was a good thing, but it was distracting him too much right now.

He looked at the photo on his phone and then around the room; all of the cubicles were empty. He had to do something soon, before it became too much. He locked himself in a cubicle and allowed his head to fill with thoughts of Jack.

* * *

_May 10th, 2009_

By Sunday, it had been almost four weeks since he had met Jack. It had felt like a lot longer and he missed his friend a lot. His dreams were always about Jack, which didn't really help. Sometimes they were sexual, but some were just about him and Jack living together and being domestic. It was a notion that appealed to him very much and he hoped that one day it could be a reality. It would be great to live with Jack, even though he wasn't sure how it would happen. He lived in a different state, which meant that one of them would have to move. He didn't know if he could ask Jack to do that for him.

Still, he was happy with the way things were. He did have strong feelings for Jack and couldn't wait to see him again, even though it would be another five months before he did so. He would just have to concentrate on his job and hope that it would distract him sufficiently to make the time pass quicker.

He was walking up towards the deck to get some fresh air. He couldn't really say that he wanted to see the view, because they were still out on the sea and there was no land around anywhere. But he did like being outside instead of being cooped up all day. When they were off-duty it could get slightly boring, so they often made their own entertainment. A lot of them tended to watch TV all day, which he found boring. Maybe if he was with Jack, curled up on the sofa...

There he was again, thinking of Jack with no conscious effort. He still didn't understand that one, but he was starting to accept it and had stopped questioning why. Deep down, he knew the cause of this even though he hardly knew Jack. Was it possible that he was in love already? Surely not, given how little he knew Jack. They'd only kissed; had never been very intimate with each other, let alone had sex. Maybe it wasn't yet love, but strong attraction? He didn't know for sure, but he knew what he had felt when they had first kissed.

"_I like you a lot," _Jack's voice echoed in his mind. Ennis smiled at the memory.

"_I like you too, bud." _

It was memories like this which kept him going, and reminded him of what would be waiting.

He reached the deck and breathed in the sea air, feeling a slight breeze around him. There were some other workers on deck, playing games or soaking up the sun which was beating down on them. He did like this life, despite how hard it could sometimes be. He just wished he could share it with Jack.

He sat down in a chair close to where the rowdy men from the other day were sat. He didn't mind them as long as they didn't pry into his business, which was unfortunately something they liked doing with everyone.

"Hey, Ennis," said one of them, and he distinctly felt as if a pack of hyenas were watching him. "You heard from your girlfriend?"

"Um...not yet," he lied; he didn't want them sneaking looks at his phone behind his back. Maybe he could create a password for it. "Sent a letter, though."

They murmured to themselves at this. "A letter? That's kinda outdated, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "Thought it was more romantic." He knew that Jack would like the romantic notion; he did seem the type.

One of them stared at him. "Romantic? Shit...ain't you fucked her yet? What the hell was you doin' all that time?"

"Getting to know her," he replied; at least that was somewhat true. "It's not all about sex."

"Who said? When was the last time you got laid, boy?"

He decided not to answer that; they were being too crude for his liking. He did want to have sex with Jack, possible during his next visit, but they were talking about having sex just for the sake of getting off. He didn't want that; he wanted it to mean something and he knew it would with Jack. It would certainly be passionate and maybe a little rough, but the emotion would be there underneath.

At his silence, they decided to leave him alone and they soon started talking about an actor who had just come out as gay to the public.

"Can't believe it. To think that he's queer...God knows where he's been."

"Hope there's none of them on this boat. I mean, we could be sharing cabins with them. They're probably thinking of attacking us in our sleep. Best to sleep on your back and not your front, eh?"

Ennis tried to keep his breathing steady, but it was hard when he was so angry. How could they say something like that? Even if one of them was sharing a cabin with a gay man, so what? The man in question might already be seeing someone like he was. They seemed to think that gay men didn't believe in commitment, and that they would go after anything male and breathing. He hated the homophobia that plighted this life, but he had been aware of it by the time he'd signed up. He'd thought that he could handle it but now that he was in love with someone it was a lot harder. They weren't just insulting him; they were insulting all gay men and that included Jack.

"What do you think, Ennis?" asked one of them, turning to find that his chair had been vacated. Ennis had stood up while they were talking and was now on the other side of the deck, where the quieter guys were sitting around. He leaned on the side and looked out across the sea, in the direction where he was sure America stood. Jack was there somewhere, hopefully thinking of him and what they had to come.

* * *

That night, Ennis was trying to get to sleep in his bunk. It was around ten and his cabin-mate was already asleep. Ennis slept in the bottom bunk, since he had joined later than the other guy and he'd gotten first pick.

Ennis was trying to drop off, but his head was so full of thoughts about Jack that it wasn't easy. Not for the first time, he wished that Jack could be here with him and that they could share this together. But that probably wouldn't work; he'd want to spend all of his time with Jack, not to mention share a bed with him. That just wouldn't be possible and he knew it.

Still, he did enjoy thinking about Jack and wondering what he was doing at that time. He pictured Jack working at the bookstore, maybe having his lunch at the small café where they had gone during their time together. Maybe one day, they might go for a romantic meal together if they had the time. All of that was to come.

Ennis turned onto his side and listened to the waves around the ship; he could hear them well from the cabin as the ship didn't move when they were sleeping.

He yawned silently and closed his eyes, an image of Jack in his mind. He could see the dark hair and pink lips, just waiting to be kissed. Then there was the deep blue eyes, piercing into his soul and making him fall for the man they belonged to.

"_Hey," Jack whispered to him from the bed, sitting up. "Been waiting for you..."_

_Ennis looked down at him, face full of lust and reverence. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, looking over Jack's soft skin and hard muscles. He wanted this man so badly, and he knew that he himself was wanted just as much. Jack reached out to him._

"_Come here," he said softly, undoing Ennis's shirt buttons before he could blink. The shirt fell to the floor and Jack ran his hands up the firm muscles, hardened by a few years of toil and training. Jack grinned. "You don't look so bad yourself, you know." _

_Ennis's cheeks reddened when Jack trailed a hand over his zipper and belt. "Um...I've never really done this before," he admitted. "I mean...I've done stuff, but..."_

_Jack shook his head. "It's okay. We'll take it slowly, I promise." Jack undid Ennis's belt and then the zipper, biting his lip. "You okay?"_

_Ennis nodded and stepped out of his jeans, allowing Jack to pull him onto the bed. They crawled up to the pillows and Jack pressed himself down on top of Ennis. He kissed Ennis all the way up his neck to his jaw, drawing a low moan out of him. "That feel good?"_

"_Yeah..." Ennis let Jack take over, even though he'd expected to be in control this first time. But he did like what Jack was doing to him; it felt good. "Jack..."_

_Jack nuzzled his neck. "I love you, Ennis," he whispered, hand trailing down his lover's chest. "Love you so much..."_

"_Mmm..." Ennis smiled as Jack took hold of him. "I love you too..." He bucked slightly when Jack started moving his hand, breathing slightly more heavily. "Jack...please..."_

"_What d'you want?" came the whisper, Jack nuzzling his neck again. "Tell me..."_

"_Want you...inside me..." Ennis managed to croak, his erection starting to become painful. He needed release, and soon. "Please..."_

_Jack rose up and looked down at him. "Whatever you want, bud. I'm gonna make you feel good, okay? Just relax..." Ennis nodded and watched as Jack grabbed the lubricant and a rubber, love in his eyes._

_Jack soon slid into him and was pushing deep, rocking his hips against Ennis's and searching for that special spot that would make the pain worthwhile. "How's this?" he asked, thrusting deep._

_Ennis groaned. "God...never felt like this before. Never knew you'd be this good, Jack..."_

_He felt a kiss on his neck as Jack kept moving. "I'm good with you, baby." He moved his hand up and down Ennis's length, keeping it slow and light so as to tease Ennis as much as he could take._

"_Jack...please..." he groaned, lifting his hips and feeling Jack push even deeper. He bit his lip as he felt his orgasm loom closer, Jack hitting that spot over and over. He was at the very brink, about to slip over-_

He jolted awake when the wind howled around the ship, hopelessly aroused and alone. He took several deep breaths and looked down at himself; he had to do something about this. Luckily, the nearest bathroom was right next to the cabin. He slipped out of bed and crept out of the room to take care of himself, hoping that his cabin-mate wasn't awake.

In the bathroom, it didn't take him long to release the tension inside him. He had a clear image of a naked Jack in his mind and that was enough to do the job. He then splashed cold water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. This was getting slightly out of hand. He definitely wanted to have sex with Jack when he returned and he hoped that Jack felt the same way; he would never cheat on him but Ennis was getting frustrated now.

_I need him, _he realised as he looked at his face. _Not just sex, either. I need to be with him. It's crazy...I barely know him but I wanna be with him so much. Hope he feels the same way as me._

When he got back into bed, thankfully undisturbed, he was able to drop off relatively easy. He dreamed of Jack again, but this time it was a lot tamer and didn't leave him frustrated.

He didn't regret dreaming about Jack even though it distracted him so much; the thought of being with Jack made him happy no matter what they might get up to. He couldn't wait to see that face again.

* * *

_May 20th, 2009_

On Wednesday, Ennis had decided to call Jack since he had some more free time and was growing lonely without hearing his voice. After his dream a few nights ago he missed Jack more than ever after that because he had some notion of what it would be like for them to make love together. He was looking forward to it but needed to be certain that Jack wanted it too; he didn't want to force Jack into it no matter how horny he would be when he returned. He had more pride than that and more respect for Jack.

As soon as he was alone, he returned to his cabin and tried to get a signal; luckily it was fairly easy and he was able to get through. He knew that Jack was still on his lunch break right now so he wouldn't disturb him at work.

"Ennis?" came a hopeful, familiar voice that was like music to his ears. He had longed to hear that voice so much, especially after his dream the other night. Maybe one day he would hear Jack's voice in his ear for real.

"Jack..." he sighed, leaning back against the headboard and smiling to himself. "God, it's good to hear your voice again."

"You too," Jack replied, sounding as if he couldn't quite believe it. Ennis knew the feeling. "Where are you?"

"I'm in my cabin. Not exactly sure where on the sea we are, to be honest. Did you get my letter?"

"Yeah, I did. I loved it, Ennis. Far better than just a text, you know? I'm keeping it. I'll write to you soon, okay?" Ennis liked the sound of that; it really was romantic.

"Sure. Whenever you want."

"How are things at your end?" Jack inquired. "I know you can't tell me much but..."

"Well...there's one thing getting to me. I had to give you a false name when they asked me who I'd hooked up with. Someone saw me come to the city that morning before we left. I had to lie." He was just glad that nobody had followed him to Jack's apartment; that would ruin everything.

"What name did you give me?" Jack asked. "Come on, I wanna know."

"Um...Jackie," Ennis mumbled, hearing Jack laugh. "I hated it, Jack."

"I know," Jack replied, sighing. "But it's the way things are and we both know it. Are the guys really rowdy and crude?"

"Some of them. There's one group in particular that get on my nerves, asking me if I fucked the girl I'm seeing and when I told them I hadn't, they seemed really shocked. I told them it wasn't all about sex and it's obvious they don't get it."

"Shit..." Jack breathed. "I really am sorry for you, bud. You don't deserve that...you're so much better than those guys and I know that. You're a good man."

Ennis smiled, feeling pleased by Jack's sweet words. "Thanks, Jack. There's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Hmm?"

"I had a dream about you the other night. Kinda vivid..." He blushed even though Jack couldn't see him.

"Really?" Jack purred, clearly liking the sound of it. "That's interesting. I haven't had one yet about you, but I think about you all the time. Ennis, I...I have this friend, Lureen. She works with me at the store. Is it okay if I talk about you to her? She won't say anything that'll get you into trouble, I promise. She's always been one of my closest friends. And before you ask, we've never had feelings for each other or gone out or anything."

"It's fine," Ennis assured him; he knew that Jack wanted to be with him anyway even if Lureen was an ex-girlfriend of Jack's. He trusted Jack completely. "I'm glad you've got a close friend, Jack. But there's something I wanted to ask you."

"Okay."

"Um...well, I woke up from the dream before I could...you know...and I had to go to the bathroom to take care of it. Was really frustrating."

"Well, I'd never leave you hanging like that," Jack promised him, and Ennis swallowed.

"That's the thing. I'll be honest, Jack...I really want to sleep with you. I...I need it, Jack. I need to be with you when I come back and I wanted to make sure that it's okay with you. That you'll be ready by then."

"Ennis," Jack said in a soothing voice. "Stop worrying, okay? I want to be with you too when you get back and I'm looking forward to it. And don't worry about those guys you don't like. Just because we haven't had sex yet doesn't mean we won't. I've heard that sailors really know how to rattle a headboard, and that makes me look forward to it even more."

"I wouldn't be too rough with you, Jack. Don't wanna hurt you," Ennis told him.

"Well...I wouldn't say no to a hickey if you wanna give me one," Jack said in a sly voice. "And you can be a little rough with me. I'm a man; I can take it, okay?"

Ennis started to feel better about all of it now, with Jack's reassurance. "Okay. Thanks for that, Jack. I was starting to get nervous."

"Don't want that when we get into my bedroom," Jack pointed out. "We'll be fine, bud."

Ennis smiled and knew he should probably click off soon; they would be due for lunch soon. But he didn't want to say goodbye.

"Listen...I should probably go," he said, feeling reluctant.

"Sure. I'll talk to you soon, Ennis. Don't worry about anything, okay? We'll work it out. See you soon, bud."

"Yep. Bye, Jack." He clicked off and stared at his phone, wishing that the call could have gone on for longer. He missed Jack and wanted to tell him how he felt, but that would have to wait until their first night together; it would be perfect to tell Jack during his next visit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Sunday 14th June, 2009_

_It's been nearly nine weeks since I met Ennis. It's weird; I've never missed anyone so much before and I'm still not sure why I feel like this now. _

_I enjoyed meeting him and we had a lot of fun during those few days we had. I'll never forget the way we met, bumping into each other like that. It'll make an interesting story when someone asks us how it happened; that's for sure. _

_He looked so good in that uniform, all crisp and white. I swear that I almost felt electricity run through me when his eyes met mine. It was like all those romance novels that Lureen likes to read; when there's a moment where you start thinking all kinds of things about someone you've only just met. _

_Speaking of which, I've decided to tell Lureen about Ennis sometime. I know she'll be happy about me finally meeting someone. I know my parents will be happy too, but they'll worry as well. A long-distance relationship is notoriously hard to keep going and they'll wonder how I can deal with it. I know it won't be easy all the time, or maybe any of the time. Even now, I find it hard to see his number in my phone and know that we're miles apart. _

_Still, I'm sure of what I want. I loved the letter he sent me and I'll be writing one back soon. Just been so busy lately with work, but I text him when we can talk and he knows I'm thinking of him. I loved how romantic the letter was and I really like this side of him; shows that there's so much more to him than just a sailor. He's sweet and thoughtful, and I know it gets to him that he can't talk about me._

_He told me about the guys he works with and they sound horrible, but I know he can cope. He can text me whenever it gets to him and he does. I like being there for him. I've only spent three days with him, give or take, and already I feel close to him. It's really strange but I don't feel weird about it. I like him a hell of a lot and I know he likes me. Told me as much in his letter, which I'm keeping for as long as I live._

_I can't wait until he comes back; he was all nervous over the phone about us sleeping together. It was really sweet and I had to reassure him that I wanted to. I really do and I'm looking forward to it. I don't care how little I know him; I want to be with him in that way._

_I need to get lunch ready soon, so I'll leave this here. I'll probably call my parents too. I just can't wait to see him again, even though the time passes so slowly. I'll wait for him, no matter how long it takes. _

Jack put his pen down and closed his journal, thinking. After giving Ennis the journal he wasn't using, he'd then had the idea that it was a good thing to get his thoughts down onto paper and had bought one for himself. It had been a good idea and he liked being able to get his thoughts out like this.

He wondered when Ennis would reach Egypt and couldn't wait to see him photos that he knew Ennis would send. It would help him to cope with the time apart if he knew what Ennis was up to.

At night, he would go out onto his balcony and look out in the direction of the sea, thinking about Ennis and what he was doing at that very moment. Maybe he was in his bunk thinking or writing in his own journal, or maybe he was talking to the quieter guys on the ship. He'd spoken well enough of them and Jack hoped that he stuck with them rather than the other guys.

_I like him so much, _Jack thought to himself, sighing as he looked around his apartment. _I think...I think I might love him. That's crazy...I hardly know him but I feel like I've known him for years. I don't get it but I don't even care anymore. All I know is what I'm feeling right now._

Jack got up and went to retrieve his phone, scrolling through the texts that Ennis had sent him over the last few months. He'd signed all of them with three kisses, which made Jack smile every time he saw them. He loved a little romance and was certain that Ennis had quite a romantic streak which would make him feel like the only guy in the universe. He grinned to himself as he thought of Ennis in his smart uniform; he definitely had a thing for that and wondered if he could persuade Ennis to wear it for him one night. He had always liked men in uniform and now he had one of his own.

He went over to the kitchen and started preparing lunch for himself, thinking about how he was going to tell his parents about him seeing Ennis. He knew that they would approve of him seeing someone so trustworthy, but his mother in particular would worry about him missing Ennis so much when they were apart. He would just have to try and reassure them that he could deal with it. He knew he could as long as he was sure that Ennis intended to be with him as much as he could when they were together. He needed that constant contact and needed to know how Ennis felt about him.

Jack had decided on one thing; when they had consummated their relationship upon Ennis's return he would tell Ennis that he loved him. It would be the perfect time, when they were in bed and cooling down from what he knew would be something amazing. He just couldn't wait.

* * *

After lunch, Jack decided to call his parents and tell them about him seeing someone. He knew that they would be happy for him. As long as he could prove to them that everything would be okay, they would be fine with it and that made him even happier. Maybe if they were in the city during Ennis's next visit, he could meet them. That was something to think about and he knew they would get on well enough. He felt sure that Ennis could impress them.

Jack loved his parents very much, but they couldn't expect him to pick someone that it would be easy to be with just because they might worry. It was his choice and one day he might even move somewhere with Ennis. They had to trust that he knew what he was doing.

He picked up his phone and sighed to himself, knowing that he should do this before they tried to set him up with someone because they didn't know. He selected the house number and put it on loudspeaker, setting it down on the coffee table.

"Jack?"

"Hey, Mom. How are you guys?"

"We're good, honey. Your dad's just upstairs. You wanna talk to him?"

"I need to talk to both of you," he told her. "Got some news for you that I think you'll like."

"Really?" she asked, sounding intrigued. "You've got a promotion?"

"Not quite," he replied. "My dad there yet?"

"Yep, he's here. John, Jack's on the phone and he says he's got news. Come over here."

"Hey, son. What's going on?"

"Hi, Dad. Well, the thing is...a couple of months ago I started seeing someone."

"Really? That's great, honey! Who is he? Anyone we know?"

"No, it's not," he told her, taking a deep breath and wondering about their reaction. "Um...you might not agree with it right away, but I hope you come around."

"Who is he, Jack?" his mother asked curiously. He bit his lip for a moment before replying.

"He's a sailor. I met him in the city when he was on shore leave back in April."

"Oh...that's interesting. What's his name?"

"Ennis Del Mar. He was rounding the corner on the street and we literally bumped into each other. He apologised for it right away and I could see he was new in town so I gave him a tour."

"That was a very nice thing of you, Jack. So...I take it he's gone now?"

"Yep. He only had three days here but...I enjoyed every minute of it. He says they're off to Alexandria next. He wrote me a letter and we text now and then."

"That sounds good. So why did you say we might not agree with it?" asked his mother.

"Well...it's a long-distance thing. And I miss him a whole lot now, so...I just had it in my head that you might think it's not good for me to be alone and missing him so much."

"Oh, Jack...you're twenty-six. We know that you're capable of making your own choices, and that includes any that turn out to be a mistake. If you're sure about Ennis then that's just it."

"I am," he replied surely. "And I know this isn't a mistake. We haven't...spent the night together yet. We're waiting until next time."

"That's a smart decision," his father agreed "No point in rushing too much. It's a damn shame you can't see him more often. You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just concentrating on work right now and trying not to think about it too much. As long as I keep busy, I'll be okay."

"Good. And if you ever want to see us over the weekend, you're always welcome."

Jack smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. Maybe one day I can bring him to visit you, like if he gets longer than a few days. Might be a couple of weeks one time, right?"

"Yeah, probably. We're happy for you, Jack. Honestly. And if you're sure about this man then we wish you all the best. So he sent you a letter?"

"Yep. I've kept it. I think he's got this romantic side...and I really like it. I know he'll be good to me so you don't have to worry about that. I'll be fine, I promise." He liked how his parents loved him enough to worry, but he didn't need them to.

"We're glad to hear it, son. How's your friend Lureen?"

"She's doing great. I'm thinking about telling her about Ennis too. I know she'll want to know all the details because she always does, but...that's okay. I can't wait to see him again, you know."

"Hang in there, Jack. It'll be fine. Just keep thinking about your man and keep focused. Keep yourself busy so that you don't go crazy with missing him, alright? You'll be okay, honey."

Jack smiled. "Thanks, you guys. I'm glad you're okay with it. Didn't know what I'd do if you weren't."

"You're an adult, Jack. We know that and we're glad you can take care of yourself. We will always be here if you need us, but otherwise we can leave you to it. Anything else you wanna get off your chest?"

"No, I don't think so. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Sure. We love you, Jack. And give our best to Ennis when you talk to him."

"I will. Love you too, bye." He clicked off and leaned back on the sofa, smiling to himself. That had gone a lot better than he could have hoped for and he knew that Ennis would be happy with it.

He sat there for a while, eventually switching on the TV for something to do. He still missed Ennis and would continue to do so until October, but at least the time was passing and he kept himself distracted. He liked how Ennis had dreamed of him and wondered when he would dream of Ennis too. He was looking forward to it now.

* * *

_June 30th, 2009_

On Tuesday, Jack was almost ready to go on his lunch break. He sometimes had lunch with his friend Lureen Newsome, whom he had known since high school. She had always been a good friend to him and he knew that she would be supportive of his relationship with Ennis, which was a plus. He wondered if she might have any advice for him regarding the long time he and Ennis were spending apart.

He was busy filling a shelf up when she came over to him. "Hey. The place is empty now...you wanna go for lunch when you're done?"

"Yeah, won't be a minute. Where d'you wanna go?"

"What about that place a few streets away, where Wendy works?"

"Sure."

Lureen looked at him closely. "Are you okay? You seem distracted."

Jack sighed. "Well...there's something I've wanted to tell you for a while. Been waiting to get my thoughts together."

She raised her eyebrows. "Don't tell me you're actually straight and you've got a crush on me."

He grinned. "No, nothing like that. If I were straight you'd be just my type, if it helps."

"Not really. So what is it?"

Jack sighed and turned to her. "Come on. I'll tell you on the way." She nodded and he led her out of the store. They walked down the street and she nudged him.

"So?" she prompted, and he sighed.

"The thing is...I started seeing someone a couple of months ago." Her eyes widened.

"How? I've never seen you with anyone recently. You've never said..."

"Well...he was only here for a few days and now he's gone again." He looked at her meaningfully.

"He's...a sailor?" she asked, and he nodded. "Wow. How come you didn't say before?"

"Because I was missing him and...I thought that if I talked about him it would be even worse. But I can do it now. His name's Ennis Del Mar."

"Right. So when was this?"

"April. He's off to Alexandria now with the others. Won't be back until October."

"Oh Jack..." she sighed, linking her arm through his as they walked. "I bet that's not easy to cope with..."

"Not really. But he sent me a letter and we talk now and then. I know he's thinking of me."

She smiled. "Did you two...you know?" He shook his head.

"We talked about it, and we agreed to wait until next time. He said he didn't want to take advantage of me, since we'd just met. He's a real gentleman."

"He sounds great, Jack. Have you told your parents?" By now they were close to the café and he was growing hungry.

"Yep. I called them a couple of weeks ago to tell them. They're actually pretty supportive even though I'm spending such a long time without him. They probably know I'm pining for him but they said it's entirely up to me. I think they're okay with it."

"Maybe he could meet them one day," she suggested. "And me too. I'd love to meet him."

"Yeah, maybe he could if we get the time," he agreed. "But if he's just here for three days again...we might want to spend most of it alone."

"And in your bedroom," she replied slyly, grinning. He rolled his eyes and they reached the small café where he and Ennis had had lunch. It felt like so long ago. "So how exactly did you meet him?"

"Well, I was heading here when I literally bumped into him. He rounded the corner and nearly knocked me over."

"Romantic," she replied, looking amused.

"Well, I offered to show him around. We came here for lunch, and I showed him the city. The next day he spent time at my apartment and we ended up kissing." He shrugged. "We agreed to put off doing anything else until next time. The next day he came over before he had to leave and I gave him a journal for him to write into."

"That's actually a lovely story," she told him, smiling. "So I bet you're missing him a lot now, huh?"

"Yeah," he sighed, looking over the menu. "But talking to him over the phone helps a bit. He's not got it easy on that ship...a lot of bigots on there, from what he's told me..."

She sighed. "Well, that's pretty much a given in a place like that. Guys want to be macho, especially straight guys. A lot of them think that making fun of gay men makes them look tough. Just the way it is with guys like that."

"I know, but he shouldn't have to deal with that. He's a good man, Lureen...and I hope that he doesn't have to deal with it too often. He told me that there's quieter guys on the ship that he can talk to, so that's good."

Lureen smiled. "Yeah, it is. And I'm happy for you, Jack. If you're sure about him then that's all there is to it. Jack...do you love him?"

He thought for a moment, considering the time he had spent with Ennis and how they had talked over the phone. "Well...I think I do, actually. I know it's completely crazy but...I honestly think I do." Their orders were taken by Wendy, who was as friendly as ever.

She reached over and took his hand. "My parents dated for six months before they knew they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives. It might be crazy, but...maybe it's right."

"Yeah," he agreed, seeing the sense she was making. "And who's to say that it won't work just because of the little time we spend together? He won't be on that ship forever, right? He said he'll leave it one day...and then maybe he'll stay with me."

"I'm sure he will, Jack. If you love him, then maybe he loves you too. And that's what you need to hold on to when you're alone. Okay?"

Jack nodded and they were soon served with their food; he certainly had a lot to think about.

* * *

They returned to work after their break, and when Lureen went to the stock room Jack started thinking about what she had said. She had always been a smart girl and he was glad to have a friend like her that he could talk to. She was his best friend at the moment, but that might change as he spent more time with Ennis. But he would always have a soft spot for her, feeling more like a big brother than a friend.

So what if he and Ennis hadn't spent much time together yet? That didn't mean that he couldn't love Ennis. His own parents had had a very good relationship so far and they were an inspiration to him; maybe one day he and Ennis could have what they did; that appealed to him a lot and he wanted something like that. Ennis was a very dependable man and he knew that.

He served a customer and felt a buzz in his pocket; Ennis had texted him and he grinned at the thought. He loved talking to Ennis and hoped to hear his voice soon.

_How are you? I'm having lunch xxx_

Jack smiled at the three kisses; they said a lot as far as he was concerned. He appreciated how Ennis texted him so often, for it helped them through the lonely times they spent apart. It was all he had right now and he wanted to make the most of it.

_I'm good. Just had lunch, told Lureen. She's great with it xxx_

He put his phone back in his pocket just as Lureen came back over. She was smirking. "You texting your sailor?" she asked, giving him a knowing look.

He smiled back at her. "Maybe. He asked how I was. I said that I told you about him." Another text came through and he looked at his screen. "See?" he asked, holding it out to her. She peered at it curiously.

_Good xxx_

Lureen smiled. "He sounds like a sweetheart, Jack. I'm really happy for you." He nodded.

"I know it won't be easy, being without him for so long, but...I can cope as long as I've got this to keep me going."

She nodded. "Good. I was thinking...I know what you guys are gonna get up to when he comes back. But I was wondering...what then? Surely you guys are moving forward, so does that mean you'll be going on dates and stuff?"

"I don't know...maybe," he replied, sticking price labels onto books. "But we'd have to be careful about it. There's a lot of guys on that ship and they could see us together. That'd be the end of his time on there. I really don't want that."

"I know you don't. I guess that until he leaves the service you'll have to be discreet about it, huh?" She felt sorry for him; she knew how it felt to meet someone and want to show them off to everybody out of sheer pride. Jack was bound to feel like that.

"Pretty much. But it shouldn't be that way. I mean, some states have made same-sex marriage legal, and it's no longer classed as a mental disorder. So why the hell can't soldiers be open about who they are?"

"I don't know," Lureen admitted. "You'd think they'd have more important things to worry about, especially if they go to war." Jack nearly flinched when she said that word.

"God...I don't even wanna think about that, Lu. What if something happens and he has to go and fight? He could be..." Jack gulped, not wanting to think about it. She laid a hand on his arm.

"Jack...I'm sure he'll be fine. There's no guarantee of that."

"Yeah, but it makes me nervous. I...I don't wanna be without him, Lureen. It's fine now while nothing's going on and he's safe, but..."

"Jack, don't do this to yourself. It won't do you any good to start worrying over something that hasn't even happened. I know there's fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, but the Navy's not really involved with that, right?"

"No, I guess not," he admitted. "He was smart to choose the Navy, then."

"That's right. All you have to remember is that he wants to see you again when he come back. He wants to be with you...in that way," she reminded him, winking. Jack smiled back and watched her head off to stock some shelves, thinking about Ennis and what he might be doing right now. He had no idea exactly where they were, but he wondered what Egypt was like and if Ennis would get some good photos.

He wondered what their first time together might be like. Who would be on top? What position would they use? Did they need to use protection? Neither of them had had full sex with a man before but he'd been with girls. Still, they had probably been clean. He and Ennis would need to talk about that before it happened.

How would it happen? Would he just pounce on Ennis as soon he walked in, or would Ennis take over? He liked the notion of just being grabbed and kissed hard before being led to the bedroom. Jack knew he wouldn't be scared if Ennis just took over like that; he trusted Ennis to make him feel comfortable before they did anything. He really was very considerate.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder how it might feel. Ennis was a very strong man as far as he could tell, and he liked the idea of being with someone like that; someone who could make his toes curl but who was also sweet and thoughtful. He knew that Ennis would tend to his needs as well as his own.

Jack had never daydreamed about anybody before, so this was new to him. But he liked thinking about Ennis while he was working; it certainly distracted him from his loneliness and gave him something to look forward to.

* * *

That night, Jack was lying in his bed and thinking about Ennis, as usual. He was doing a lot of that lately but he didn't care; he loved thinking about his friend and what might be in store for them. He was sure that they would have sex, but he didn't know what might happen afterwards.

He couldn't let himself get caught up too much in the future; he had to take each day as it came and focus on what was happening right now. He wanted Ennis here, in his bed and making love to him like there was no tomorrow. He wanted to feel Ennis inside him and be held as they kissed, with love running through his veins like blood. He wanted Ennis to whisper in his ear and tell him that he loved him.

_I need him, _Jack thought, shifting slightly when the images in his head made his groin stir. _I want him, right here...the next few months are gonna feel like forever until he's here._

Jack sighed and curled up, hoping that he could get some sleep and try not to lie awake all night with missing Ennis. He had to try and keep himself sane even though he missed his friend so much.

_He felt a hand on his shoulder and rolled over, his eyes meeting the soft brown ones that he'd missed so much. "Ennis," he sighed, smiling in his half-sleepy state. "I missed you..."_

"_Shh," Ennis shushed him gently, placing a finger on his lips. "Don't say anything, bud." He slid on top of Jack and brought their lips together; Jack immediately became aware that they were both naked. "I want you," Ennis breathed in his ear. Jack shivered._

"_I'm all yours. Take me...please..." He lifted his hips to emphasise his need and Ennis stroked his lower stomach, making him buck and whimper slightly. "Ennis..."_

"_Just relax," Ennis instructed him, caressing his face. He had the lube in his hand and was smoothing it over himself, watching Jack's face. Jack was biting his lip in anticipation and watching him with hungry eyes. It was crystal clear to Ennis that Jack wanted him inside his body, and he was more than happy to do this. He wanted to make love to Jack, all night long if he could. _

_He lifted Jack's legs and guided them around his waist, feeling Jack tremble with arousal. He was starting to leak and Ennis took hold of him for a moment, gently teasing out a bead and drawing a groan from Jack._

"_Ennis...fuck me, please!" he moaned, his head pushing into the pillow. Ennis smirked and in one smooth stroke, pushed himself into Jack. _

_White lights popped in front of Jack's eyes and he felt the pain shoot through him. "Oh God," he groaned, trying to get used to it. He'd never done this before but he was very much looking forward to it; he wanted Ennis to do this with every fibre of his being. _

_Ennis waited until he was ready, looking down at Jack lovingly. "Tell me when you're ready," he said softly, stroking Jack's arm soothingly. Jack had the quilt bunched into his fists as he slowly felt the pain lessen. Now the pleasure was starting to form as he felt this strong, dependable man deep inside him._

"_I'm ready," he gasped out, nodding at Ennis. His lover moved slowly at first, enough to tease Jack into wanting more. Ennis was no longer touching him so his erection was slightly painful. He needed to come, and soon, or he felt as if his other head would explode. "Oh...you feel so good..."_

"_So you do," Ennis replied, nuzzling his neck. He loved the moans that were coming from Jack's mouth and wanted to hear more, but he knew that Jack wouldn't take much more teasing. It wasn't fair to prolong it, not when he was so painfully hard. _

_Ennis changed his angle and found the sweet spot, pushing at it repeatedly and growling in Jack's ear as he felt his orgasm come crashing down on him. He came deep inside Jack with a yell and felt Jack shoot at his stomach, crying out with pain and relief._

_He collapsed onto Jack and breathed heavily. "I love you, Jack..."_

_Jack smiled and wrapped his arms around him, kissing Ennis's cheek. "I love you too, Ennis." He'd never felt this happy before, and he loved the warmth radiating from his lover, who had fallen asleep on top of him._

Jack woke with a start, his arms folded around nothing but air and his stomach covered in sticky fluid. He blushed even though he was alone and sat up, shaking his head to clear it. That had been his first ever dream of Ennis in that context and he had obviously enjoyed it. He got up and headed for the bathroom to clean himself up, staggering as he walked. He felt as if he really had been fucked hard, and he could swear that Ennis really had been there even though he was hundreds of miles away.

In the bathroom, he cleaned himself up and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He still couldn't quite believe the dream he'd just had and he couldn't wait to tell Ennis about it. He wondered if Ennis would feel nervous about being on top; in his dream Jack had been the one in control. Jack wasn't sure, but he figured that a day would come when they had both taken that position. He smiled to himself at the sheer thought of having sex with Ennis anyway, and he knew that it would be very enjoyable.

When he was done, he went back into his room and curled up in bed again, feeling more satisfied now and ready to sleep. Ennis was in his dreams again, but they were dreams of a life together after all of this was done with, and he felt happy to be with the man he loved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Monday, August 3rd 2009_

_It's been sixteen weeks to the day since I met Jack; four months. We'll reach Alexandria in a few hours and spend a day there while the captain meets with their Navy. Then it's straight back to the States. _

_For me, it means I'll get to see Jack again. It won't take as long to get back so we'll be there in October as I told him. I can't wait to be with him again, and to finally consummate our relationship._

_I talked to him on the phone yesterday; he told me that he'd had a dream about me in bed with him. He said that I was just there, and that I took over and made love to him. He told me that when he woke up, he'd come all over himself and had to clean himself up. I was at a loss for words when he told me; I had no idea that a dream about me could have that effect on someone, but clearly he feels that way about me and I'm happy about it._

_I keep wondering what it'll be like when we do finally do it. I'm not sure who will be on top, but I guess we'll just wait until we're in the moment and it'll be decided for us. Either way, I want to have him in my arms again and to hold him close to me. Maybe we can spend the day on his sofa, talking and kissing, and then go to bed later on. I'd like to stay overnight at his place, now that the others know I'm seeing someone in the city. I just hope that nobody follows me and sees me with Jack._

_I keep thinking that he might think I'm ashamed to be seen with him, but that's really not the case. I want to show him off to everybody I know but I can't do that without risking my job. If they find out, I could be sacked and they won't let me keep my dignity when they get rid of me. They'll make sure everyone knows why I was shown the door. Jack worries about me being found out, but I hope he doesn't feel guilty that I can't be open about who I am. I knew I was gay long before I met him, and if I was with someone else it would be the same story._

_Anyway, I can't wait to be back with him. I'm sure now that I love him and I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him. I hope he's happy about it even though we hardly know each other. I think he will be. I don't know what's going to happen for us in the future, but I'd like to at least try to make a go of it with him. I want to be with him, no matter how long it takes for us to get there together. _

Ennis put his pen down and sighed to himself, reading over the entry and thinking about the conversation they had the day before. He was certainly surprised by Jack's confession.

"_I had a dream about you last night, you know. I mean, I've had dreams about you before but this was different."_

"_How d'you mean?"_

"_Ennis...we were...in bed together. We did it, you know? We slept together."_

"_Oh," he replied, feeling his face grow warm. "Right. Um...was it good, then?"_

"_Hell yeah. I woke up and saw that I'd shot all over my stomach. It was really good..."_

_Ennis smiled. "Well, um...I guess I was good, then."_

"_Ennis...you were amazing," Jack assured him. "You kissed me and helped me relax. You were a damn tease but it was so good. It was really vivid and...it made me surer than ever that I want to do it for real."_

"_I'm glad," Ennis replied, smiling wider. "It's just...I've never done it with a guy before so...if I'm nervous and don't really know what to do..."_

"_It's okay. We'll help each other," Jack told him firmly. "I know we don't have the experience, but we've both had dreams now. We can work from those to figure out what to do. And you know what? I reckon it'll just come to us naturally."_

"_Yeah, you're right," Ennis replied, feeling slightly more confident._

Ennis shook himself from his memory and put his journal into his trunk, thinking about the day. In about an hour they had to get ready for their landing in Egypt and he was looking forward to going there. He had promised Jack that he would get some good photos to send to him and he would hold himself to that promise.

Out of concern for his privacy and his job, Ennis had put a password onto his phone that nobody else could know. It was the name of the street where Jack lived and he figured that nobody on the ship would guess it even if they saw him there.

Ennis hoped that one day he and Jack could meet each other's parents and start to form a more permanent bond. He didn't know when he might leave the Navy, provided that he wasn't kicked out first, but he figured that he should give it some time so that he and Jack could find their feet with this relationship. He didn't want to pressure Jack into making a decision about his life, like where they would live, so soon after they had met. Under normal circumstances, six months was usually enough for someone to at least have an idea of whether or not a relationship was going somewhere, but this wasn't the normal way of doing things.

But he pushed these thoughts out of his mind and just thought about the upcoming landing. He wasn't sure if he could send photos right away but he would save them until he could; he knew that Jack would enjoy seeing the places he had been to.

* * *

They reached Alexandria and were given strict instructions to return to the ship at dusk while the captain went about his business. Ennis declined the offer to go walking around with his friends, the quieter guys, and set off alone with a map in his hand.

The first thing he did was take some photos of the bay for Jack on his phone, knowing that his friend would love to see them when he got back. It was a beautiful day, but it was as hot as they had warned him it would be.

He set off in search of food, wanting to try the local cuisine. He found a place a few streets away from the port and decided to start there. He noticed how the locals were looking at him curiously but he kept his head down, not wanting to cause any trouble. The woman who served him was friendly enough and he did like the food there, strange to him though it was.

Afterwards, he took a bus further into the city and made his way to the National Museum, which seemed to him a good place to start learning about the country. He walked up the white staircase at the front and into the slightly dark building. There were many ancient artefacts in here, and he noticed that he wasn't the only tourist. He took some photos on his phone and read the labels with interest. There were pieces that had been discovered underwater and he was struck by the sheer range of the displays. He knew that Jack would love this place if they could come here together, and he hoped that one day he could show Jack the world.

He spent around an hour in there; it was now two in the afternoon and he had plenty of time left. Ennis made his way to the Roman Amphitheatre. It was absolutely stunning and he tagged along with a tour group who were walking around, listening to the guide as he explained the area. There was a live excavation dig going on as they were there, which was fascinating considering how long ago it must have formed.

He wondered where his fellow shipmates were and if they were taking in the sights as well as himself. He thought bitterly that the rowdy ones were probably on the prowl, which made him shudder. He knew that the people here had more self-respect than that and were very religious; he hoped that they weren't put in an awkward position.

Still, he enjoyed walking around and enjoying the local sights, hoping that his sun cream was strong enough for this climate. The last thing he wanted was a painful sunburn when he went back to Jack; that would ruin their plans. He repressed a grin at the thought of being with Jack when he got back; he couldn't wait.

When he had finished here, he sat on a bench for a moment and scrolled through the photos he'd taken. He wasn't sure if he could send them to Jack from here, so he would wait until he either returned to the ship or arrived back in the States.

Ennis sighed and got up, hoping that Jack knew he was thinking of him. He found his way to Pompey's Pillar, craning his neck up to get a better look. It was apparently twenty-five metres high, with a pair of sphinx statues right next to it. There were a couple of other tourists there but it wasn't busy.

As the afternoon wore on, he headed south towards the Catacombs of Kom el Shaqafa. He'd heard stories of Egyptian curses in tombs and such, but he wasn't sure that he believed them. There was a guide around to explain the area to them and it was fairly busy by this time. It turned out that they weren't allowed to take photos inside but that was okay; he could explain it all to Jack when he returned.

Ennis realised that with everything he was doing on this trip, he kept thinking about when he would return to Jack. He vaguely felt as if he'd left behind part of his heart when he said goodbye to Jack, and he wondered if Jack felt as if part of his heart had gone on the ship. He was daring to hope that he meant as much to Jack as the man himself meant to him. One day, they would be together again and would move to the next level.

He left the catacombs as they were giving him an uneasy feeling with all of the coffins in there, and headed back out into the sunlight. The afternoon was passing by and soon it would be evening; he had to start heading back to the ship.

Since he had enough time, he decided to walk back and see some more of the area as the sun hung low in the sky. He wanted to get a picture of the sunset before they left, thinking that he could give it to Jack as a romantic gift. He knew that his friend's birthday was in October and he hoped that they could spend it together before he had to leave again.

He reached the ship and spotted his co-workers also arriving back. Some of them had bought things while exploring and he thought of the photo he'd taken of the sunset just now. He knew that Jack would love it and would probably put it somewhere in his apartment, in a place where he could see it all the time.

Ennis returned to his cabin once the ship was on its way, feeling tired after his long day of exploring but happy with the experience. The only thing missing from it was Jack, and he hoped that one day he could take Jack there on a trip, maybe even one day for a honeymoon. He smiled at the thought of marrying Jack and he hoped that one day it would happen. Nothing would make him happier.

* * *

_August 10th, 2009_

Time was marching on, and they had left Alexandria and were now headed home. Ennis couldn't wait to see Jack again and he hoped that Jack was prepared for the sheer intensity of the sex that he wanted to have. He would never hurt Jack, but he hoped that Jack would be able to take his lust; Jack had assured him that he could. He was a man and fairly strong; more than enough to handle what Ennis could dish out in the bedroom. Ennis was sure that Jack would end up walking funny by the time they were satisfied.

At the moment, he was working on the ship and trying not to let his thoughts stray too far. He was cleaning one of the metal structures on deck and thinking about his time in Alexandria. It was a beautiful city full of history and culture.

He had enjoyed it, but he'd been lonely without Jack. Ennis missed him so much and was looking forward to their reunion a lot. He hoped that they got the chance to talk before proceeding to the bedroom, because he wanted to hold Jack in his arms and hear him talk; hearing it over the phone was good but not quite the same. He wanted that purr in his ear; he wanted that warm body in his arms as they embraced.

Still, he tried to remain upbeat despite his yearning for Jack. He knew that their first time together would be worth the wait, and he was prepared to wait however long he had to. He couldn't do anything else, so he might as well try to deal with the long time.

He'd had another dream of Jack last night, but it hadn't been about sex. They were just sitting together on the sofa, drinking wine and watching TV. Ennis could recall feeling warm and happy, something that he always felt when he was with Jack. He hoped to have many evenings like that with him, where it was just the two of them enjoying a little romance. He liked that notion very much.

"_I could stay here forever," Jack said, nuzzling against him as they relaxed together. Ennis enjoyed the warm weight leaning on him and hoped that this moment would remain forever in his memory._

"_I know," Ennis replied, squeezing him tighter. "I always wanted something like this...now I've got you..."_

"_You sure have," Jack told him, kissing his cheek. The clock struck eleven and he smiled. "You wanna go to bed?" he asked lightly, knowing that Ennis certainly did._

"_You bet," Ennis replied, smiling back and getting up with Jack holding onto his hand. They went into the bedroom together to spend yet another night of passion and love._

Ennis shook himself from his memory and carried on working, thinking about the tone of his dream. He was glad that they weren't all about sex; he didn't just want that from Jack. He knew that it would be good, but he wanted more as well. Jack would not be just a one night stand to him, ever. He wanted a relationship with him, despite the long time they were bound to spend apart.

He pulled out his phone when nobody was looking, looking through the last few texts that he and Jack had sent to each other since the departure from Egypt. He had decided to save the photos for when he returned.

_Left Alexandria now, on the way home xxx_

_Can't wait to see you. Hope you're ready ;-) _

Ennis had smirked at Jack's flirtatious tone, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

_I am if you are xxx_

Ennis smiled at the sheer thought of what they were going to do. He was incredibly nervous about it, but that was mainly due to his inexperience and his desire to make it good for Jack in spite of this. He had a good idea of what to do and how it was supposed to happen, and he so wanted to see how he could make Jack feel.

When alone, Ennis did research on his phone. He'd learned about the prostate some time ago, but had never been able to put this knowledge into practice. He hoped he would live up to the expectations Jack had built up of him. He knew that Jack would still want to be with him even if it wasn't all he'd expected, but Ennis didn't like to think of them being in a relationship where the sex wasn't very good. Dreams were just dreams, and neither of them had any idea if the reality would match up. He really hoped that it would, because in all other aspects it could be a wonderful relationship. He loved Jack, and he hoped they could have a future.

While he was thinking, he felt his phone buzz and looked at the new text from Jack.

_What are you up to?_

Ennis smirked; he knew that Jack would like the image he was about to describe. He had a feeling that Jack liked seeing him in his uniform anyway.

_Cleaning up on deck. Not wearing my shirt :-)_

He bit his lip as he waited for Jack's response. He really had taken off his shirt due to the heat, and he wondered what Jack's face was like right now.

_Wish I could be there to lick the sweat off you xxx_

Ennis's cheeks grew warm and he bit back a laugh. Jack had turned the teasing around on him.

_Cheeky bastard, _he thought affectionately. He loved the relationship that he and Jack already had and he hoped that this would grow as they spent more time together. He wanted to be with Jack when he eventually left the Navy.

He went back to his work and tried not to get distracted by the thought of Jack licking him. He shivered as he imagined having Jack's tongue on his body and hoped that nobody noticed. The next two months couldn't pass quickly enough as far as he was concerned.

* * *

That night, Ennis couldn't sleep. His mind was full of Jack and their impending reunion, and exactly how it would go once they were back together. He wanted to save their first time together until the evening, when he could go to bed with Jack and hold him through the night afterwards. That would be perfect as far as he was concerned; to make love to Jack and connect with him, then to tell him that he loved him and fall asleep together. He couldn't think of anything more perfect for their first time and he hoped that Jack felt the same way. Judging from what he knew of Jack so far, he was fairly confident that Jack did.

Jack's earlier text to him made him think. It would be ridiculous to claim that their love for each other was so pure that it transcended sex; they were both red-blooded males and they had needs that would need to be taken care of. Ennis had no doubt that the sex would be amazing and he liked the idea. But at the same time, he knew that it wouldn't just be about getting off for the hell of it; they would be doing it because of their deeper feelings for each other. There was no better way to show someone that you loved them, and he knew it would say so much more than he ever could.

He could tell Jack that he loved him, and one day they might get married and somehow have children. Those were great ways of showing that they loved each other, but he felt as if sex was still the best way for Jack to see everything that he was feeling inside himself. He'd never opened up too much to anyone before, not even his parents, so Jack would be the first to see him vulnerable. There could be times when he needed reassurance and to be taken care of, and he only trusted Jack to do this.

Ennis slipped out of bed and out of the cabin, needing some fresh air. They were allowed to walk around on deck as long as they didn't disrupt anyone, which was fair enough as people were trying to sleep. He hated drawing attention to himself anyway.

He headed up onto the deck and breathed in the sea air, thinking that it would clear his head. The sky was full of twinkling stars out here, and he smiled as he wondered what Jack would make of them. There was so much he still didn't know about Jack, but he figured that he would learn it as they spent more time together. That was something to think about and he was looking forward to spending more time with his new friend and future lover.

He leaned against the railing, watching the water below as the ship slowly moved west. The captain didn't like to move the ship too quickly at night. Ennis was at the front of the ship, peering out into the darkness and wondering when the first sight of land would occur. He knew it would be a couple of months yet but still; he hoped the time would pass quickly so that he could see Jack's face again. That beautiful face with the blue eyes and dimples and wide smile that drove him crazy...

_I love you, _he thought as he pictured Jack's smiling face, welcoming him back. _I love you now and I always will; I'm sure of it. I hate the waiting too, but soon I'll be home and I'll show you how much I love you._

He sighed, wishing that Jack could hear him and reply. He hoped that Jack knew the depths of his feelings and felt the same. There were still eight weeks until their predicted return to the States and they were dragging by. When he did return and they consummated their relationship, he wondered what they might do then. Maybe they would go for walks in the park, or go for dinner and see a movie; the normal things that couples did. He still had no idea how much time they would get on land, but he hoped it was longer than three days. A week would be good, he figured; that would be more than enough time for them to get re-acquainted and move to the next level. He wanted to spend all of the time with Jack and he knew that his parents would be fine with this.

He had yet to tell his parents that he was seeing someone, and made a mental note to do so at the first opportunity. He felt slightly guilty about not talking to them much over the last few months but he'd been so distracted now that Jack was in his life. He knew that his parents would understand if he told them, but still. They meant a lot to him too and he decided he would speak to them as soon as he could.

With this decided, Ennis felt ready to go back to bed and try to sleep. There was a high chance that he would dream of Jack, but that was okay. He was used to that by now, but something worried him. He wasn't always sure of his cabin-mate being asleep when he was, so what if he yelled out Jack's name in passion? The other guy would hear it and realise what was going on. Ennis was terrified of waking up one morning to find that everyone on the ship knew who he was and who he'd been seeing on land. He didn't know if the other guy could be trusted to keep his mouth shut, or how he even felt about gay people.

Jack would tell him not to worry, that everything would be fine. Ennis held onto this thought as he got back into bed, trying to get warm under the thin sheets and wishing that he could just sleep the time away until they landed back at home.

* * *

_August 15th, 2009_

On Saturday, Ennis had a day off working so he decided to call his parents and catch up with them. He mainly wanted to tell them about Jack but he also wanted to see how they were and tell them about his trip to Alexandria.

He sent a text to Jack explaining what he was about to do, and Jack told him he was all for it. With this approval, Ennis dialled his parents' home number and waited as he sat on his bunk.

"Hello?" It was his mother.

"Mom, it's me," he replied, smiling at her familiar voice.

"Ennis! How are you, honey? It's been a while since we heard from you."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that. I've been a little distracted lately so I just kept forgetting to call you."

"It's okay. How's life on the open sea?" she asked, clearly smiling.

"It's good. I'm being kept busy. We've just been to Alexandria in Egypt, and I took a load of photos while I was there."

"That sounds great. I'm glad you like it there, Ennis. I was worried that you wouldn't, being away from home for so long."

"It's really okay. And...there's something you and Dad ought to know."

"Is there?"

"Yeah. I, um...last time I was on shore leave, we were in Jacksonville in Florida. That's our main base now. And...I met someone while I was there."

"You did? Who is it?"

"Well...his name's Jack," he told her; his parents knew that he was gay and had long since accepted it, which was a relief to him. "I literally bumped into him on the street. He saw that I was new around there so he showed me around."

"That was nice of him, considering that you were a stranger. What's he like?"

"He's..." Ennis had to work to find words that would sufficiently describe Jack. "Really nice. Works in a bookstore in the city and his parents live up on Fernandina Beach to the north of the city. We had lunch together and I spent some time with him for the three days I was there."

"That sounds wonderful, but...Ennis, I hear things about sailors on shore leave. They don't tend to have a good reputation..."

"We just kissed," he told her. "We're waiting for other stuff until I come back in October. We're on our way home now."

"Okay then. In the circumstances, it's good to take things slowly."

"We both know that, Mom. We talk every chance we get and we're growing closer, I reckon."

"I'm glad to hear it, Ennis. I'll tell your dad when he comes home from work; I'm sure he'll be happy to know that you've found someone. Are you sure about him, Ennis?"

"I really am. We both know it's not easy, being so far apart for so long. But we can do this. We just need to work things out for ourselves, you know?"

"I understand, honey. So...I guess your colleagues don't know, because of that law?"

"No...and I don't know what I'd do if someone found out. I could be sacked because of who I am..."

"I'm sure it won't come to that. I know you're proud of who you are, and we are too. But you have to keep your head down. I know it's not easy but I'm sure you can do it."

"Guess I've got no choice. I never had to pretend when I was alone with Jack...was a nice break from all of that, you know?"

"I'm sure it was. Listen, I won't keep you. I've got some things to do around the house and I'm sure you're busy. But just remember that your dad and I are always here for you when you need us. And give our best to Jack the next time you talk to him."

"I will. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, Ennis. Talk to you soon, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Bye, Mom." He hung up and smiled to himself; she had always been more focused on his happiness than how others might see him. Ennis felt very lucky that she and his dad accepted him for who he was, and he knew that if they met Jack they would like him. Maybe they could do that some time if he was on shore leave for long enough; he would like that a lot.

With this done, he decided to head out and see if he could spot anyone to pass the time with; hopefully he wouldn't run into the rowdy sailors. Before he went, he sent a text to Jack.

_Told my mom, she's happy for me. My dad will be too xxx_

He was walking down the corridor when he felt a buzz in his pocket. He bit his lip, looking forward to Jack's reply as he always did.

_Good. Things are coming together for us xxx_

Ennis smiled and realised that Jack was right; if only he could tell his friends about Jack without the fear of being sacked and ridiculed. He felt that it was extremely unfair, given that he wasn't the slightest bit interested in anyone on this ship and would remain faithful to Jack. He hated the jokes and bigotry that littered many of the conversations on this ship. He wondered how they would all react if he told them the truth; would they apologise because they were his friends, or would they take the opportunity to show just how prejudiced they were?

He shook his head and decided to stay by himself for now; he just couldn't be around those guys right now. There was a library downstairs where they had plenty of books to keep him occupied for a while. He hated being around those other guys now more than ever, because he loved Jack and wanted to shout it to the world. Hopefully one day, they would be able to walk down the street hand in hand without caring who saw them. Maybe then, he would finally have the life he'd always wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Saturday, September 5th 2009_

_Dear Ennis,_

_I can't believe how long it's been since we met. Twenty weeks last Monday, which feels more like twenty years. The good thing about it is that we're really close to seeing each other again and I can't wait._

_I'm glad you had a good time in Alexandria and I hope you've got a lot of photos to show me. Maybe one day, if things go well, we could go there together when you've left the Navy. _

_I know it's not easy for you, being on that ship with those guys who make jokes and annoy you. But I want you to know that I'm actually proud of you for keeping your head up and not letting it get to you. That proves you're so much better than them, Ennis. Hopefully one day you won't need to be so secretive about who you are._

_I'm happy that your parents are okay with you seeing me; could create problems if they weren't, you know? My mom worries sometimes about me missing you so much and spending so much time alone, but I've reassured her that it's okay. They're both happy for us and maybe one day you could meet them. Maybe I could meet your parents too._

_I keep thinking about our first night together, and I've made a decision. I want you to be on top this first time. I don't know why, but for our first time I would prefer it like that. You said you wanted to spend time on the sofa first and go to bed at night, with you staying afterwards. This is fine with me and I'm looking forward to that. I want you to make love to me and hold me all night long, safe and warm. Nothing would be more perfect for our first night together._

_Anyway, I was thinking. You know already that my birthday is October 12th. If you're going to be here for that, I would love to spend the day with you. Maybe we could have dinner one night; I'd enjoy that. You don't have to worry about getting me a present; just you being here would be enough for me and that's all I want._

_There's something I want to tell you, Ennis. It's something good, that I think you'd like to hear. But I want to wait until after we've slept together because I think it would mean more then. I can't wait to see your face when I tell you._

_I'm going to wrap this up now, but I want you to know that I miss you every day and I'm always thinking of you. I can't wait to kiss you again, and to hold you close to me. I can't wait to have you in my bed at last and I hope the next few weeks pass quickly. _

_Take care of yourself, Ennis. Don't let the other guys get to you; they're not worth it. See you soon._

_Jack xxx _

He put his pen down and looked over the letter, smiling to himself. Jack hoped that Ennis would get this before he arrived back in the States; he wanted Ennis to know what he wanted for their first night to give him something more to look forward to.

He knew that Ennis would be intrigued by what he had to say, and he wondered if Ennis would guess it. Jack wanted to hold off saying it until they were in bed together and cooling down from their first time. Jack shivered at the thought of having Ennis inside him and making love to him. There would likely come a time when he returned the favour, but for now he wanted Ennis to be in control when they were in bed.

Jack sat back in his chair and thought about his birthday. He would love to have dinner with Ennis, possibly in a romantic restaurant. But they would have to be cautious of anyone that Ennis knew seeing them together and figuring it out. He didn't want Ennis to be found out and face the consequences just for being who he was. What if Ennis blamed him for it and broke up with him as a result? He couldn't risk that happening, not even for himself.

Still, he would be happy to have dinner with Ennis at his own apartment; they could have candles and wine and it would be very romantic. He liked that thought. He honestly didn't want Ennis to worry about getting him a present; having Ennis there with him would be more than enough as far as he was concerned. He hoped that Ennis would be there for it and wouldn't have to go the day before or something.

Jack knew he couldn't complain about when Ennis could be here with him; he knew what he'd signed up for when they'd agreed to this relationship despite the obstacles. He knew full well that they would be spending a long time apart between shore leave stays, and he just had to deal with that. He would wait for Ennis no matter how long it took, and Ennis knew that.

In his mind's eye he tried to picture what his confession of feelings might be like, after their first time.

"_So what did you want to tell me?" Ennis murmured, rubbing his arm. Jack smiled and stretched, rolling over to face him._

"_I love you," he said simply, kissing the tip of Ennis's nose. Ennis blinked a few times in surprise, and then a smile appeared on his face._

"_I love you too, Jack," he replied, pulling Jack close for a deep kiss._

Jack smiled and folded the letter up, ready to send it off when he went out. He looked around his empty apartment and sighed; he wished that Ennis could be here right now, holding him and talking, or maybe kissing him on the sofa. Hopefully soon, he would get that again and everything would be perfect.

* * *

A little bit later, Jack felt lonely and didn't have anything to do. Lureen was working and he guessed that Ennis was busy; he texted when he could but he still had work to do. Jack knew it was safer for Ennis to text rather than call, in case someone should overhear him.

Jack hated how Ennis couldn't be open about himself when all of the other guys on the ship could. He wasn't worth less than them just because he was gay; Jack actually thought he was worth more because he was so brave. He didn't back down when they started spewing nasty comments and kept himself to himself. Jack admired him for that and he hoped Ennis knew how proud he was of him.

His phone started ringing and he picked it up; it was his mother. "Hey, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie. Just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine, really. It's not easy, without Ennis...but I'm fine. Looking forward to seeing him again. He told his parents about us, you know."

"He did? How did they take it?"

"He said they were okay with it. They've always accepted who he is and they know they can't dictate who he sees. So they've wished us well."

"That's great, Jack." She sounded genuinely happy for him, but Jack sometimes wondered if she wished he would find someone local that he could be with now. Only the passing of time would solve that one, for there was no way he was going to break up with Ennis just because it might be the easier option. He loved Ennis and wanted to be with him, no matter how little time they had together when he was here.

"Mom...I want you to know that I'm really okay with the situation. I know you worry and I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. He'll be back soon and things will be so much better."

"I know, Jack. I just want you to be happy, you know?"

Jack smiled; he appreciated how much she cared about his wellbeing. "I know, Mom. But Ennis does make me happy, and I can't wait to see him again. You know...we've been talking about meeting each other's parents one day, if we get enough time together."

"I think your dad and I would enjoy that," she replied, sounding happier. "We'd love to meet him."

"Good. Because...I know we've only spent a few days together but I'm really sure about him. I know we'll be happy when he leaves the Navy and stays here."

"Then...I wish you all the best," she told him. "Listen, your dad and I are thinking about your birthday. We can't make it down until the weekend after, is that okay?"

"That'll be fine. Ennis might be here to celebrate it with me and we want to spend some time alone, you know?"

"Absolutely. That's fine with us, Jack. We know Ennis is probably not ready to meet us just yet."

"Not really. I'm not ready to meet his folks yet either, to be honest. We've got so much to learn about each other yet and so much to catch up on. And...you know..." He didn't want to go into details about Ennis's first night back; that was a very private thing between just the two of them.

"Say no more, honey. I completely understand. Give my best to Ennis when you talk to him, and I hope everything goes well."

"Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it. Say hi to Dad for me, alright?"

"Will do. Bye, Jack."

"Bye." He clicked off and went to sit on the sofa, thinking. He missed Ennis a lot, and each day was dragging by. Why did it have to be six months between visits? He really hoped that Ennis was here for longer this time, so that they could enjoy more of each other.

He laid down on the sofa and looked through the texts on his phone from Ennis, smiling at the conversations they'd had. He enjoyed picturing Ennis working on the ship, with his shirt off and his back gleaming with sweat in the sunlight. The image was very appealing.

Jack bit his lip as he thought about what he'd said; licking the sweat off for him. Maybe after their first time, he'd be able to do that and he hoped that Ennis would like it. He wanted to do so much with Ennis, and he wondered if they would have enough time. Apart from having sex, there was so much he wanted for them to do. He hoped that they could have a romantic dinner together and maybe go for a walk in the park or something. Or they could remain in the apartment and watch a movie together one night. Either way, he knew that they would have a lot of fun together and he couldn't wait.

He was aware that as he and Ennis spent more time together, the more he would fall in love and the harder it would be to say goodbye to Ennis later. But he could deal with that as long as he had some idea of when Ennis would return and that they remained in touch. If that continued, it would be enough to keep him going until Ennis returned.

_I love you so much...please come home soon. I miss you and want to be with you more than anything else right now. I want you to kiss me and hold me...and tell me that you love me because I know you do. _

He sighed and flicked the TV on, trying to distract himself from his boredom and loneliness. It was all he could do for these final few weeks until Ennis returned and made him feel complete again. Things had been quite tentative last time, since they'd hardly known each other, but it would be different after everything that had happened in the meantime. He was looking forward to Ennis taking him to bed and giving him what they both needed.

* * *

_September 18th, 2009_

On Friday, Jack was working in the store and looking at one of the calendars on display. As far as he could see, it was almost twenty-three weeks since he'd met Ennis. Just a few more weeks and Ennis would be back with him; he just couldn't wait for their reunion.

Jack didn't yet know when Ennis would be around, but he hoped that his friend would be here for his birthday. His parents wouldn't make it to the city until the weekend after, so he hoped to spend it with someone else he loved. One thing he would love to do was to spend all day in bed with Ennis, maybe having breakfast in bed together and kissing, and maybe more than that.

He looked around and noticed that the shop was fairly empty; nobody needed his help so he sat behind the counter and allowed himself to think further about Ennis. There were many things about Ennis that he liked; some were physical and others were more about his personality.

He liked Ennis's hair. It was blonde and slightly curly, but cut in the accepted way for being in the Navy. Ennis had told him that before signing up, it had been of a more normal length and a lot curlier. Jack liked the image of this and wondered if one day he would get to see that for himself; maybe when Ennis quit and stayed with him.

Then he thought about Ennis's eyes. A deep brown colour that sometimes showed a fleck of green. Jack had seen it once and he hoped to again; he wondered if Ennis's eyes went dark when he was aroused, and that was another thing to look forward to. He loved Ennis's dimples too; how they showed themselves when Ennis smiled. Jack hoped he could make Ennis smile more.

Jack loved Ennis's voice; how it seemed rough at first but how he had soon realised that he was simply soft-spoken. Jack couldn't believe how such a strong man could be so gentle and he wondered every day what the sex would be like. He had no real frame of reference, but he'd heard from Lureen what it was like when the two people were in love. He'd heard her description and wanted to feel it for himself.

"_It's like nothing else," she said, nodding as she thought back to her last boyfriend, whom she had loved before he'd cheated on her. "I mean, I know he broke my heart but when we were together it was amazing. I know he loved me, and I loved him."_

"_So...how does it feel when you're in love with the other person?" he asked. She smiled._

"_Like...everything suddenly makes sense. And that you were supposed to do this incredible thing with this person. And they make you feel wonderful, in a way which you never knew you could."_

_He looked at her and thought of Ennis, wondering if it would be like that for them. "I want that with him," he sighed, feeling more in need of it all the time. "I want him to...hold me and kiss me...whisper to me..."_

_She took his hand and squeezed it. "I'm sure he will when he comes back. You'll get all of that and so much more, I know it. Don't worry, okay?" Jack nodded and tried to think about something else._

He shook himself from his memory and tried not to worry too much. He was fairly sure that Ennis loved him; why else would he be so looking forward to coming back, and why else would he tell his parents about Jack? People didn't do things like that if they weren't sure about someone. Clearly, Ennis was sure about him.

Jack smiled and heard the bell as the door opened; he looked up and smiled; Lureen was arriving for her shift. "Hey, Lu."

"Hey," she replied, taking her coat off and putting it in the back room. "How's it going?"

"Pretty quiet. Been thinking about our talk the other day. About sex."

"Ah, I see. You dreaming about your sailor again?"

He smiled. "Maybe. I have to admit...I'm really looking forward to being with him. He makes me feel so good already, just by kissing me or being near me. Can't imagine how it'll feel when he..." Images filled his head of Ennis laying him down on the bed and kissing him all over, before gently pushing his legs apart and-

"Earth to Jack," came Lureen's voice as she tapped his forehead. "Are you thinking about sex?"

"Maybe," he replied, cheeks reddening. "Can't help it. Every time I think about it I get these vivid images in my head. I think about him, and me...at my place..."

She smirked. "If you keep that up, you're gonna have a problem. And I'm gonna send you to the bathroom if that happens. Just calm down, okay?"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, shifting slightly. "Um...let's talk about something else. You seeing anyone right now?"

"No, not at the moment. How's Ennis coping with those guys on the ship?"

Jack sighed. "It's not easy for him. I let him vent to me when we talk and maybe it helps him, but...he still has to deal with it every day. They're bigots, Lureen. From what he says...I dread to think what they'd do if they found out he's gay and seeing someone. If they report him he could be sacked and...as much as I want him around I don't want it to be because he's got no choice. It should be because he was ready to leave on his terms and it was his choice.

She nodded. "I know what you mean. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. Ennis seems smart enough to handle himself if he has to. Don't worry too much."

Jack smiled at her and she walked off to clean up, leaving him to think about everything she had just told him. Deep down, he would always fear Ennis being exposed.

* * *

That night, Jack was lying in bed and trying to get to sleep. It wasn't easy when he kept thinking about Ennis and what it would be like when he was here, in this bed. The more he thought about it, the more he became aroused and the harder it became to clear his mind. He was too far gone now to just drop off to sleep.

He groaned when he moved in the bed, knowing that he was getting harder as images of Ennis filled his mind. He was so attracted to his future lover and wanted him so much. Jack figured they would need to fuck at least a few times on Ennis's first night back just to satisfy them both after six months of yearning. He wanted Ennis to just take him to this bed and make love to him, both hard and long until he was seeing stars.

Jack knew he had no choice; he had to do something about this predicament or he'd never get to sleep. He tugged his boxers off and let his erection spring free, wondering what it might feel like to have Ennis's mouth on it. That was something to think about; he'd had a blowjob before but it hadn't been much good. He knew that sex was supposed to be wonderful when the two people loved each other, like Lureen had said.

He bit his lip and closed his eyes, picturing Ennis's wonderful mouth and remembering what it felt and tasted like. He tried to imagine it down there on his swelling erection.

"_Ennis...come on..." he pleaded, tugging at his lover's hair. Ennis was slowly moving down his body and kissing his bare chest as he went. Jack whimpered when Ennis reached the space between his legs but didn't touch him there. "Please..."_

"_What d'you want?"_ _Ennis teased him, eyes glittering. Jack was close to begging._

"_Want your mouth...on me..." he moaned, lifting his hips. "Ennis, please..."_

_Ennis obliged him, wrapping his mouth around Jack swiftly and starting to suck hard. Jack sighed and closed his eyes. This felt even better than he'd imagined and he thought that both of his heads would explode soon._

"_That's it," he groaned, enjoying the warm, wet mouth as it lavished attention on him. "Ennis...I love you so much..." Ennis couldn't reply verbally, but he reached up and squeezed Jack's fingers for a moment. He kept on going and slid a finger up between Jack's legs, pushing in and making Jack yelp. "Oh God!" _

_He shot into Ennis's mouth and prayed that he wouldn't choke him. Ennis took it all and spilled onto the bed beneath him, groaning as he did so._

_When Ennis pulled his mouth away, Jack could see that he looked a little dazed but happy. "Baby...come here..." he sighed, gesturing to Ennis. His lover crawled back up and settled down onto the bed next to him. "That was amazing..."_

"_Yeah..." Ennis smiled and kissed him deeply, sealing their love._

Jack opened his eyes, still breathing heavily. His stomach was covered in fluid and he felt a lot better. He smiled to himself and reached over for the towel he'd put on his nightstand for such an occasion; he couldn't always make his legs work after an orgasm when they felt so shaky. But he wasn't about to complain; he always liked to dream of Ennis and he'd enjoyed that vision of being with him.

He knew that the more he dreamed of Ennis, the more he yearned for him in real life. But there was nothing he could do about that; he was in love and nothing could stop him from dreaming of Ennis. Jack wanted to tell Ennis all about his dream and looked at the clock; he wondered if Ennis might be asleep yet. It was worth a try.

He picked up his phone and started typing a text to his friend. He had a mischievous, flirtatious side that he wanted Ennis to see so much.

_Had a dream about you just now. You had your mouth on me and were giving me a blowjob :) _

He bit his lip and wondered what Ennis might have to say to that. If he knew Ennis at all, he knew that Ennis wanted it just as much as he did. Whatever they would do together after their first time, Jack knew it would all be amazing because of the feeling in his heart.

After a few minutes, his phone buzzed and he eagerly opened the text.

_You never know. Play your cards right and you might just get one of them xxx_

Jack grinned and couldn't resist saying something else; he loved talking dirty with Ennis.

_It would be later on. Our first time, I want you inside me. Want you to make me see stars for several minutes afterwards, at least xxx_

He smiled and thought about that first time; why did it have to be so far away?

_I think I can manage that. I can't wait to be with you. Gotta go to bed now so I'll say goodnight xxx_

Jack felt slightly disappointed that they couldn't do this all night, but he understood that Ennis's work had to come first while he was on the ship. He knew that when Ennis came back, his priority would be spending time with him.

_Okay, night xxx_

He put his phone back after sending the last message and curled up on his side, facing the window and staring up at the moonlight shining through the curtains. One day soon, he and Ennis would be in this bed together and they could kiss and embrace after sealing their connection for good. Jack knew what he wanted, and knew that Ennis wanted the same thing even though it might not happen in the usual way. He knew that Ennis would be spending long periods of time away from him and that was okay; he knew that one day they would be together.

* * *

_September 30th, 2009_

It had now been twenty-four weeks since their first meeting, and Jack was stretched across the sofa as he watched TV and waited for his dinner to finish cooking. He knew that Ennis would be back sometime next month and he was very much looking forward to that, for various reasons.

He wondered if Ennis would call him before landing or if he would just turn up and surprise him. Jack hoped he would call first; he wanted to get some things together for a romantic dinner one night while Ennis was here and he would like to be forewarned of Ennis's arrival.

Jack often wondered if they would need to use protection; neither of them had had full sex with a man before but he knew that there were other ways in which Ennis might have caught something; a dodgy blood transfusion or something. He had no idea if anything like that had happened so he would at least need to ask Ennis first. He would buy some condoms anyway just in case, and he already had lubricant. If it transpired that they were both clean, then he was happy to leave the rubbers in the box. He knew that Ennis would never lie to him about that.

He checked the dinner and heard his phone ringing; he saw Ennis's name on the screen and grinned widely. "Ennis?"

"Hey, bud. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Missing you, though..."

"Well...I can do something about that. We got our dates sorted for shore leave today...you wanna hear them?"

Jack grinned even wider. "I sure as hell do. What are they?"

"I'll be here on the 6th, Jack. That's next Tuesday, six days away."

"Oh my God," Jack breathed, sinking into a chair at the table. "Six days? That's great! How long do you get here?"

Ennis sounded almost as excited as he did. "Jack...we get a week this time. I get to spend six days with you, leaving on the last one."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing; Ennis would be here for a six full days and they could wake up together on the last one. "Oh, Ennis...this gets better. I can't believe it!"

"Me neither, darlin'. I've missed you so much..."

"Me too, I...hang on," he paused, doing the maths in his head. "But...that means you'll leave on the twelfth...my birthday..."

Ennis sighed; clearly he had realised this too. "I know. But I can't ask them to extend it now just for me; they'll pry into the reasons why I wanna be here and...I'll just get uncomfortable. And I know you wanted us to spend your birthday together, since we couldn't spend mine together." Ennis's birthday had been four days ago and Jack had sent him a text but they had missed each other even more. "I'm so sorry, Jack..."

Jack would be a liar if he said he wasn't disappointed, but he swallowed it down because he knew how things had to be. "You know what? Don't worry. I know how things are, Ennis. So...we'll just have to celebrate my birthday the day before, okay?"

"Sure. We'll have dinner then if you want. And maybe...we'll wake up together the next morning," he suggested, and Jack grinned.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Ennis...I'd like you to spend every night of that week at my place, if you can. Do you have to go back to the barracks?"

"Not if we've got somewhere else to go," he replied. "Those barracks are always there for us, but it's not strict. I would rather spend every night with you, Jack."

"That's what I want too," Jack told him, smiling. "There's still so much about each other that we've got to learn...so I want to spend as much time with you as possible."

"When do you work? You didn't work that day we met..."

"Right. It's shift-based so I won't know until Friday what my hours are next week. But I guess that when I'm working you could go back and get clean clothes or whatever, right?"

"Yeah, okay. And I'll explore the city until you're finished. Just let me know so that I can meet you. You're not working on the 6th, right?"

"I don't think so...I never work Tuesdays unless the place is busy and Lureen calls me to get my ass over there. We're rarely that busy."

"Good. 'Cos I want you all to myself on that day," Ennis said in a low voice that sent shivers down Jack's spine.

"Sounds good to me. Ennis, there's something I need to ask. When we do it...do we need protection? I mean, there's other ways one of us might have caught something..."

"I've never had a blood transfusion, never done drugs and never been with a guy. Any girls I was ever with, I always used a rubber. That covers all the bases, right? I had a feeling you might ask."

Jack grinned. "Right. Well, I'm clean too so I guess we don't need to worry. I've got some lube, but...maybe I'll buy another if you're planning to put a hitch in my step."

Ennis laughed. "Yeah, I guess. I can't wait to be with you, Jack. It's gonna be something else, I just know it."

"Sure is...I'll be counting down the next six days, Ennis. They'll go really slowly, but it'll be worth the wait."

"It will, I promise," Ennis told him. "Listen, I've gotta go now but I'll call you again soon. And I'll let you know when we're about to dock."

"Alright. I'll be waiting," Jack promised, picturing Ennis's smiling face and feeling more in love than ever. "See you, Ennis."

"Bye, Jack." Ennis clicked off and Jack sighed, trembling slightly with anticipation. Just one more week on his own and then Ennis would be here to make him his. Jack got up and went to his wall calendar, picking up a pen and turning the page to the next month. On the box for the 6th, he simply wrote one word:

_Ennis_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_October 6th, 2009_

Jack was nervous but excited. Ennis had texted him half an hour ago to say that they had landed back in the port and Jack knew that he would be here soon. He'd cleaned the apartment that morning and made sure that he had everything they would need. There was plenty of food in the kitchen, he'd bought candles and wine, and there was a new tube of lubricant in the bedroom.

Ennis had told him that he would be bringing a change of clothes, since he would be staying the night. Jack felt a shiver run through him at the thought; Ennis would be in his bed tonight and there were bound to be fireworks between them when that moment happened.

He paced nervously, thinking that he was prepared for Ennis's arrival. But he still jumped when the buzzer went off. Walking quickly over to it, he prayed that it wasn't someone who had forgotten their key and needed to get in. "Hello?"

"Jack, it's me," Ennis replied, sounding equally excited. "Can I come in?"

Jack grinned. "Come on up, sailor," he said flirtatiously, and pressed the button. He waited and took deep breaths until there was a familiar knock on the door. Bracing himself, he opened it and could swear that his heart skipped a beat.

Ennis was there, dressed in his white uniform with a hat on his head. He was carrying an overnight bag in one hand and was smiling at him. "Hey, Jack."

He looked so handsome like this and Jack stared for a moment. "Um, hey," he replied, shaking his head slightly to clear it. "Come on in..." Ennis passed him, which on its own was enough to make him shiver with anticipation.

Jack closed the door, knowing that Ennis was watching him. Ennis put his bag down with his hat on top of it, wanting to just grab Jack and kiss him. He'd missed this man so much and knew that the feeling was mutual.

He watched as Jack turned and their eyes met, electricity crackling between them. Like magnets, they were drawn to each other and their mouths crushed together without warning. Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack's waist and Jack's encircled his neck, feeling more complete than he had for six months.

Ennis pushed his tongue into Jack's mouth, drawing a moan out of him and pressing their bodies close together. "Mmm," he moaned, squeezing Jack tightly and feeling Jack growing hard against him. He pulled away, making Jack whimper.

"Hey..." he protested. "What did you do that for?"

Ennis cupped his cheeks, smiling. "You said you wanted to save it until tonight, and you were getting hard just now." Jack blushed.

"Oh, right. Can you blame me? With a kiss like that?"

Ennis kissed him on the lips, looking into Jack's eyes. "I missed you so much, darlin'..."

Jack nodded, breathing deeply as Ennis pressed their foreheads together. "I missed you too...so glad to have you back." They embraced tightly, happy to be back together after so long. "Tell you what...I'll get you a drink and something to eat." He pulled away. "You make yourself at home and we can catch up, okay?"

"Sure." They kissed one more time and Jack headed for the kitchen. "Jack? What should I do with my stuff?"

"You can put the bag in my room if you want, but leave the hat out here," Jack called back, a plan in his head. Ennis was confused but did as he was told, going into Jack's bedroom. It was very nice in here, he thought to himself as he put his bag down, but his eyes were drawn to the double bed. It looked very comfortable and he was looking forward to being with Jack in there.

He came back out and then settled onto the sofa. He liked Jack's apartment and was looking forward to spending some time here. When he was sat down, Jack came over with some sandwiches and coffee; it was lunchtime anyway so they might as well eat now.

As they ate, they talked about where Ennis had been and he showed Jack the photos he'd taken. He was saving the sunset photo for Jack's birthday present; he knew that Jack would like it.

"Sounds like you had a great time," Jack said, smiling up at him. They were snuggled up close together and Jack felt very relaxed and happy. Ennis nodded and put his phone down.

"I did. It was really great, but...every time I saw something interesting I wanted to turn to you and see what you thought of it. I know you'd like it, Jack."

"Well...maybe one day, when you leave the Navy, you could take me to all the places you go on shore leave."

"Yeah."

The hours passed with them watching TV and talking, and soon night began to fall. The door had been locked and they were ready to go. Jack turned to Ennis. "Well..." The air was thick with sexual tension, and now it was time. Six months of longing about to be healed at last.

Ennis nodded and stood up, offering his hand. Jack grinned and shook his head. "Not like that. Did you ever see the movie, An Officer and a Gentleman?"

"Oh..." Ennis replied, seeing what Jack was getting at. He should have expected as much from Jack; he did have a playful side after all. He retrieved his hat from the side table and put it on his head, before sliding one arm under Jack's legs. "Hold on, bud..."

Jack grinned and held on tight as Ennis picked him up. "Oh God...careful..."

"I won't drop you," Ennis assured him, smiling. Jack reached up and swiped his hat, putting it on his own head. "You've been wanting to do that all day, haven't you?"

"Yep. Anchors away, sailor," Jack said to him, grinning. His eyes were full of lust and happiness, and Ennis gave him an affectionate look before carrying him into the bedroom.

* * *

Ennis had carried Jack into his bedroom and laid him down on the bed, being careful with him and making Jack feel like he was the most precious thing in the world. Now they were lying on the bed together with Ennis leaning over him and kissing him deeply. Both of them were hard and Jack hoped it would be as great as he'd dreamed.

"Ennis," he breathed when his future lover kissed his neck. "Can't wait any longer...come on..." Ennis nodded and they started removing their clothes, watching each other carefully. Jack noticed how Ennis had to be careful with his uniform and he smiled; clearly, Ennis loved his job despite its bad points. He could never ask Ennis to give that up for him.

When they were wearing just their underwear, they moved under the covers and Ennis kissed him deeply again; he wanted Jack so badly and knew that the feeling was mutual. They had been separated for so long and he'd been dreaming of this moment. Now it was here and it felt almost surreal. He still couldn't believe that he was here.

As they kissed, their underwear was swiftly removed and Jack looked down, giving Ennis an appreciative nod. "Not bad at all," he commented. "I knew you had big feet for a reason."

Ennis grinned and nipped his neck. "You'll see for yourself in a moment, bud." He reached over for the lube and noticed Jack biting his lip. "You okay?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I really wanna do this, Ennis. But...is it gonna hurt?"

"I don't know myself, but I've heard it can at first. I'll take it really slow, Jack. Don't worry, okay?" Jack's expression cleared and he nodded, widening his legs with a come-hither look in his eyes. Ennis smirked and coated himself with the lube, knowing that this would feel good.

He found where he was supposed to go and started to slowly push himself in, watching his friend's face closely. "Tell me if it hurts too much, and you need a moment," he instructed, and Jack nodded. He was breathing deeply and trying to get used to the pain that was shooting through him. He was gripping the bed sheet underneath him and nodded to Ennis.

"Keep going..." Ennis did so and sure enough, he managed to enter Jack fully and press tightly against him. Jack swallowed and started to relax. "Fuck, that hurts...but...it's good," he realised, smiling. Ennis took his hands and squeezed his fingers; Jack wrapped his legs around his waist.

"You ready, darlin'?" he asked softly, and Jack looked up at him with eyes full of love.

"More than ever," he replied, and Ennis started to move. He kept it slow at first so that he wouldn't hurt Jack too much, but his friend seemed okay so he felt more confident. He leaned down and kissed Jack full on the mouth, rocking into him and hearing a lustful whimper escape from Jack.

"You feel good?" he breathed in Jack's ear, nibbling the earlobe. Jack groaned; this felt much more than good.

"More than good..." he gasped out, raising his hips in time to Ennis's thrusts. "Feels...amazing..."

Ennis picked up the pace a little and felt Jack moan, head falling to the side of the pillow. "You look beautiful like this," he whispered to Jack, wanting to consume every part of Jack that he could so that he could keep his lover with him all the time. "Love hearing you moan, Jack..."

"Oh God," Jack groaned, his erection becoming painfully hard. He needed Ennis to touch him. "Ennis...please...jerk me off..."

Ennis didn't need telling twice; he took hold of Jack and moved his hand along, kissing Jack's neck as he moved inside him and finally finding the sweet spot. Jack yelled out and came hard, shooting all over Ennis's stomach and almost crying out with relief.

With a few more thrusts, Ennis felt himself following suit and he came into his lover, nearly growling with the effort it took. White lights burst in front of his eyes and suddenly, he realised what the big deal about sex was; this was how people showed their love and he knew for sure that he loved Jack. There was no other explanation for how he felt right now.

They collapsed together, breathing heavily and unable to speak. Jack knew now what Lureen had meant; it really did feel like everything made sense all of a sudden and he grinned, still seeing stars. "Oh, Ennis...that was wonderful."

Ennis pulled out of him and rose up, smiling down at him. "It really was...Jack...it was everything I hoped it would be and more. Well worth the wait, right?"

"Yeah..." Jack pulled Ennis's face down to his to kiss him again and he sighed in contentment. "Ennis...there was something I wanted to tell you. I wanted to wait until this moment to say it."

"Right, you said something like that in your letter," Ennis remembered, stroking his cheek. "So...what was it?"

Jack grinned, feeling as though his heart might burst with the emotion inside him. "I love you. I'm in love with you, Ennis. Felt like that for six months..."

Ennis felt a lump growing in his throat and he swallowed past it. "Jack...I..."

"You don't have to say it back if you can't," Jack murmured, hands in his hair. He felt disappointed but he understood if it was difficult for Ennis to say the words.

"No, it's okay. I can do this...I want to do it. I love you too," he rushed out, feeling lighter once it had been said. "I love you too, Jack. So much..." He smiled. "Now more than ever."

He sank down onto Jack's chest, sighing. Jack embraced him warmly, closing his eyes. "Stay right here, Ennis. You can sleep on me if you want."

"Mmm...night, Jack. Love you..."

Jack grinned. "I love you too, baby." Ennis heard the endearment and smiled before closing his eyes; he could get used to this.

* * *

_October 8th, 2009_

On Thursday, Jack worked the morning shift but it gave Ennis the chance to explore the city a little more until he had finished. He was fully relaxed by now and enjoying his time away from the ship. He didn't like the stress of work interfering with his time off.

Their first night together had been wonderful, and they were even happier than ever. They didn't talk about how much harder it would now be to say goodbye; neither of them wanted to ruin the time they had together. So they just put it out of their minds and enjoyed it while they could.

On their second night together, Ennis had ended up with Jack's head in his lap and trying not to yell out too loudly as Jack worked him with his mouth. He'd soon discovered that Jack had a very talented mouth and had told him so afterwards. Then he'd laid Jack down on the bed and kissed his neck while he jerked him off.

They especially liked to hold each other through the night afterwards and talk until they fell asleep, and this was on Ennis's mind as he sat in the park, waiting for Jack to meet him for lunch. He'd bought some sandwiches and it was a beautiful day despite the month. He loved Jack more and more every day, despite the obstacles they faced.

He heard a whistle and turned to see Jack walking towards him, grinning. "Hey, you."

"Hey." Ennis grinned and they kissed when Jack reached him, looking very happy to be back with him. "How was work?" he asked as they opened the sandwiches. Jack moved up close to him, feeling much happier now that they were in the same space again.

"Quiet. Usually is when Lureen's not there. Don't get me wrong; I love her like a sister but she loves talking."

Ennis smiled. "She sounds great; I'd like to meet her before I leave." Jack's eyes flicked to a figure running in their direction. He grinned when he recognised her.

"Looks like you won't have to wait long," he said, and Ennis turned to see the redheaded woman spot them and run over, grinning.

"Hey, Jack," she said breathlessly, taking a sip of water. "How's it going?"

"Good. Lureen, this is Ennis Del Mar," he replied, nudging Ennis and giving him an affectionate look. Lureen smiled at him.

"Your sailor friend. Hi, I'm Lureen Newsome," she said to him, shaking his hand. Ennis smiled back.

"Good to meet you. Jack's told me a whole lot about you."

"I could say the same to you," she pointed out, stretching her legs. "When did you arrive?"

"Two days ago," he told her, and she nodded.

"That explains why Jack was nowhere to be seen yesterday," she said with a wink, and Jack blushed.

"Shut up, Lu." She laughed and gently kicked his shin.

"I'm just teasing. I'm happy for you guys, really. You should hear the way he talks about you, Ennis."

He smiled and nodded. "Well...I know he makes me happy. Just...sometimes wish it didn't have to be so long between visits."

Lureen sighed. "I know. He's been going crazy, daydreaming and everything. Didn't know what to do for him." Jack gave her a look. "But...what you guys have gotta remember is what it's like when you're together. That'll help you get through it."

"Yeah," Ennis agreed. "Um...you wanna join us for lunch?" he offered, holding up the sandwich box. She shook her head.

"Thanks, but I've already had something and I've got stuff to do. But I'll probably see you again before you leave. If not, then I hope you have a good time here and best of luck for when you go back, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Lureen," he said to her. They bid her goodbye and she carried on running, leaving them to it. "She's nice, like you said." Jack nodded, smiling at him.

"She really is. I'm glad I've got her to talk to when you're not around. It really helps."

Ennis put an arm around him, giving him a squeeze. Jack made an appreciative sound. "Sorry I can't be here more often, Jack. You know I would be if I could."

Jack shook his head. "It's okay. I know the job means a lot to you anyway, and I would never ask you to choose between that and me. If you chose me, I'd feel guilty and that would just poison what we've got. I love you, Ennis...but I also want you to be happy."

"You make me happy, Jack," Ennis assured him. "And so does the job. I wish I could have both at once but I can't. But one day...when I decide I've had enough I'll come back and I'll be with you for good. It might be a long while yet because of contracts. I was nearly twenty-three when I started on that ship. Been just over four years now already, so maybe a few more years before I quit. That okay with you?"

Jack smiled. "Ennis, it's fine. What's a few more years compared to an entire lifetime together? We've got at least fifty more years in us yet, so there you go. I'd like to spend all of them with you." Maybe they were moving very quickly, but all of it felt very right and he loved Ennis so much.

"Really?" Ennis asked, wondering what he'd done to deserve someone like this. He'd certainly been very lucky.

"Yeah. Doesn't scare you, does it?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing. Ennis shook his head.

"No, not at all. At least not in a bad way. I'd like that too, Jack." He smiled and leaned down to kiss Jack on the lips, not caring who saw them. He doubted that the other guys would be walking in the park anyway; they were the type to spend all day in a bar. He was much happier here with Jack; he had everything he needed right here.

* * *

That evening, they had the romantic dinner that Jack had wanted. Ennis still had a few more days before he had to leave, but they both wanted to have this while they could.

Jack cooked everything for his guest, part of him wanting to prove to Ennis that they could work as a domestic couple if they lived together some day. He didn't want to think about the future too much, seeing as they hadn't spent a lot of time together yet. But he was certain that they were going to have a future.

"How's it coming?" Ennis asked as he walked into the kitchen, sniffing with interest. Jack grinned.

"Nearly done. You wanna set the table?"

"Sure." Ennis kissed him on the back of the neck before moving away, making Jack squirm and blush; Ennis had soon learned his most sensitive spots and had clearly stored that information away for future use. He loved how they were getting to know each other properly now. The sex was amazing, but what he liked most was how they could talk about everything together and find that they shared opinions on most topics. He loved Ennis more and more each day.

Dinner was soon ready and Jack came out with the dishes, pausing when he saw that Ennis had dimmed the lights and lit a candle on the table. "Wow," he breathed, putting the dishes down. Ennis smiled.

"Well, you wanted it to be romantic," he pointed out. "What d'you think?"

"I love it," Jack replied, kissing his cheek. He brought the rest of the dishes out and they settled into their respective chairs, on opposite sides of the table so that they could see each other. "I'm glad we get to do this, Ennis," he said as they started to eat.

"Yeah. I can bet the other guys don't get this...someone to spend more than just half an hour with," he pointed out. Jack looked sadly at him.

"It gets to you, doesn't it?" he asked, even though he knew the answer already. "That you can't talk about what you've been doing on shore leave, unless you make something up. You've had to give me a false name and we might not ever be able to go out together until you leave the Navy. I hate it too..."

Ennis shook his head. "You know what? I'll be fine. And maybe we could go out somewhere, next time I'm here. Maybe we could see a movie; I doubt the others will be doing that and...we could make out at the back." He smiled when Jack grinned.

"That sounds great. Ennis, I've been thinking about the times when you'll be visiting in the future. And...I've got a suggestion, if you'll accept it."

"What is it?"

"I know you move your stuff between here and the barracks when I'm at work and everything, but...I'd like it if you didn't have to. I'd love it if you could be here all the time. I trust you alone in this apartment, so..." He smiled. "Would you...like to stay here with me when you're on shore leave? You said yourself you don't have to stay at the barracks if you've got somewhere else to go..."

Ennis was taken aback by the offer; he hadn't expected that and it was very soon. But in the circumstances, it did make sense for them. Maybe it was a good thing that they moved so quickly when together, to balance out the long time they spent apart. "Wow, um...Jack, I don't know what to say." He rubbed the back of his head. "Well...okay then. That sounds great. I'd love to."

Jack smiled and squeezed his hand before they carried on eating. "You know...the next time you're here it'll be April, about a year since we met. I already know what to get you for a present." He winked at Ennis but said nothing else.

As they ate, they occasionally glanced at each other and thought about what they had together despite how little time they had actually spent in each other's company. It had been six days in total, give or take. By the time he left it would be just ten. But Ennis was aware that if the circumstances were different he would think nothing of it; this would be second nature by now and that was fine. He did love Jack and wanted to have something substantial with him. He didn't envy his colleagues with the numerous girls they brought back to the barracks. He was much happier here, with Jack.

When they had finished, they took the wine over to the sofa and curled up together in front of the TV. Ennis was very flattered by Jack's offer and he felt incredibly lucky to have found this man. He was so scared of failing Jack somehow, now that he had this trust and love; he would never intentionally hurt Jack but what if something happened, something he had no control over that would earn him Jack's disappointment? The only thing he could think of was if he cheated on Jack, and he had more self-control than that. He only wanted Jack from now on.

"I love you," he murmured, nuzzling Jack's dark hair. Jack looked up at him with slight confusion; he hadn't been expecting that out of the blue.

"I love you too, Ennis. Where'd that come from?" Ennis shook his head.

"Just...I feel so lucky to have you and...I'm scared of losing it somehow..." he admitted; he knew it was safe to appear vulnerable to Jack. His lover sighed and clasped his hand tightly.

"Ennis...you won't ever lose me. I promise. You could never disappoint me, baby." He kissed Ennis's cheek and saw him smile. "That's better."

After a while, they switched off the TV and Jack locked up before taking Ennis's hand and leading him to the bedroom for another night of love and passion, where they could explore each other further and cement their connection even more.

* * *

_October 12th, 2009_

All too soon, it was time for Ennis to leave again. This was made much worse for both of them by the fact that it was Jack's birthday, and they had decided that since Jack didn't have to work, they would have breakfast in bed together and say goodbye in their own private way. They had already taken photos of each other on their phones to remember each other through the next six months.

Currently, Jack was on his back as Ennis moved slowly inside him, trying to ignore the lump in his throat and how this was to be their last time together for six months. He had Ennis close to him, arms around his neck as they moved together.

"You alright?" Ennis breathed, trying to make Jack feel better about all of it. Jack sighed.

"Not really, but...this helps a little," he replied, feeling aroused in spite of everything. He was close to his climax and bit his lip as Ennis changed the angle and found the sweet spot. "Oh God..." he groaned, muscles clamping as he shot in between them.

Ennis came soon after and sank down onto Jack's body, pulling out as gently as he could. He looked up to see Jack visibly fighting back tears. "Hey...come on..." he soothed, stroking Jack's cheek. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah...can't help it, though. Ennis, I don't regret sleeping with you in the first place, but...makes it so much harder to say goodbye. I knew this was coming but..."

Ennis sat up and pulled Jack into a sitting position, hugging him tightly. "Shh...it's okay. Come on, Jack..."

Jack took deep breaths until he had calmed down, soothed by Ennis rubbing his back and murmuring in his ear. They pulled apart and he smiled when Ennis kissed his cheek. "Sorry...couldn't help it..."

"I understand," Ennis assured him, nodding. "Tell you what...I'll make that breakfast and bring it in. You just relax, okay?" Jack agreed and watched him pull on a pair of jeans before heading out to the kitchen. He lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling slightly better but not much. Every time he thought about Ennis leaving, it felt like a knife had been plunged into his ribs and was twisting his heart; he didn't want Ennis to leave but knew that there was no choice. He could never ask Ennis to give that up for him; when Ennis did leave and come back to him, it had to be on his terms and nobody else's.

In the kitchen, Ennis thought about the gift he'd left for Jack in his nightstand for his birthday; he'd crept out of bed the night before after Jack had fallen asleep and put it there. He knew that Jack would love it.

They ate breakfast together and Ennis showered, Jack wishing he could join him. But Ennis had to leave soon and Jack didn't want to slow him down; that would just get Ennis in trouble and he didn't want that at all.

He smiled when Ennis re-entered the bedroom, wearing just a towel. "Suits you," he commented, and Ennis smirked. He let the towel drop and Jack wolf-whistled. "Very nice."

"Thought you might like that." Ennis dressed in his uniform and then sat on the edge of the bed, near Jack. He was fully packed and ready to go. "Well..."

"Yeah..." Jack sat up and looked into his eyes. "Ennis, I...I've really enjoyed this visit. The sex...it was more amazing than I could have hoped for. I'll never, ever forget that first time as long as I live, I swear. Well worth the wait."

"It sure was. Listen, I left you a birthday present in your nightstand. Something I wanted to save until now. I'm more in love with you now than I was the last time I left and...I'll carry on thinking about you every day. I'll write, and call or text when I can. The time's gonna fly, you'll see." He stroked Jack's face tenderly and looked at him affectionately. "Just think...in six months I'll be back here and we'll have more of these wonderful moments. I'll remember how it feels when we're making love, in this bed, and how you look when I tell you I love you."

Jack nodded. "Me too. I'll remember all of it, Ennis. Here..." He handed Ennis the door keys. "So you can get out. Just leave them on the side table for me."

"Sure." Ennis leaned in close and Jack's heart skipped a beat. "I love you, Jack."

"Love you too," he replied, closing his eyes as Ennis kissed him deeply and wanting it to never end. But all too soon, Ennis broke away and nuzzled his nose.

"See you soon, Jack." He got up and squeezed Jack's hand, finally seeing a smile.

"Yeah," Jack replied, watching Ennis leave with his bag and seeing him shut the door behind him. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and opened up the drawer of his nightstand, wondering what Ennis had put in there.

He found a wrapped, rectangular package with a note on top of it; he took a look at this first.

_Jack,_

_I'm sorry we can't spend your birthday together, so I'm leaving this present for you. It's a photo I took just before we left Alexandria, and I knew you'd like it as soon as I saw it. Maybe one day, we can see the world together. _

_I'll think of you every day, and I love you. Happy birthday, Jack._

_Love, Ennis xxx_

Jack smiled and opened the package; it was a framed photo of a beautiful sunset over the sea. Tears sprang to his eyes but he was grinning, heart full of love for the man who had done this for him. Now that he had this, plus the photo of Ennis on his phone, he had a feeling that the time until the next visit might be a little more bearable.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Saturday, October 31st 2009_

_It's been nearly three weeks since I left Jack again. I can't believe how the time has flown and I miss him even more now than I did before. I know why, of course. Because of what we did together and how incredible it was to be with him like that. It was everything I hoped for and more, and I can't wait until I see him again._

_He texted me as I was on my way back to the ship, thanking me for the framed photo. I knew he'd like it and I was happy that I could give him a birthday present even if I couldn't be there._

_I'll never forget the moment when he told me that he loves me. I had a feeling he did, given how we communicated during our time apart and how happy he was when I returned, but to hear him say it was like nothing else I've ever experienced in my life. I love him too and I was so happy to be able to tell him. It wasn't an easy thing for me to say, but I'm glad I was able to for him._

_We're having a Halloween party on the ship tonight, which might actually be fun. We have one every year, so I might as well keep going to them. I guess they're okay at first until the guys start getting drunk. We're technically not allowed alcohol on the ship but that doesn't stop some of them from sneaking it on after shore leave._

_I miss Jack. Every morning I wake up and wonder if he's awake or still asleep, and I think about him all day. I try to picture what he might be doing. Now that I have a photo of him, I can go into the bathrooms to try and relieve the pressure when it becomes too much, but it's not quite the same as having him with me. I remember how it felt to hold him and whisper in his ear as I moved inside him and I knew that he was feeling everything I was feeling._

_I wonder if next time, I might meet his parents. If I get enough time it might be possible. Maybe they might happen to visit next time I'm there. I'd like to meet them, since me and Jack are serious about each other. I know both his parents and mine are very accepting of who we are and who we've chosen to be with. _

_We're off to Hong Kong next, which should be interesting. I never really know why we go to overseas ports; I don't think I have a high enough rank to be told about official business. But I enjoy seeing new places, even though I wish Jack could be here with me. All I can do is remember everything we did together at his place and think about what we might do next time. I can't wait to see him again._

Ennis finished writing and sat back in his chair, thinking. He would never regret having sex with Jack, but he had to admit that it made the separation harder to deal with because they were a lot closer now. Jack had given him a hickey on his collarbone which had long since faded, but every time he looked at the area he could still picture it in his mind. He hated how he had to be away from Jack for so long and wished it could be less than six months before he saw Jack again. He wasn't sure how to get through this.

He went to his bed and stretched out, thinking about their relationship and how it was progressing. They were moving fairly quickly, but maybe that was a good thing since they spent so long apart; they were making up for lost time.

Ennis thought about Jack's offer to stay in his apartment instead of moving between it and the barracks, and he felt his heart fill with happiness every time he thought about it. Was Jack asking him to move in, to a certain degree? He wasn't sure but he knew that nothing would make him happier than to do so. Even if that hadn't been Jack's intention, Ennis still appreciated the offer and was looking forward to having somewhere to go. He hated the barracks anyway, with the loud noises that came from the other guys as they brought girls back; usually different ones every night. He preferred to stay with Jack so they could make noises of their own with nobody to disturb them.

He pulled out his phone and found the photo of Jack he'd taken. Jack had been sitting next to him with a wide grin on his face, which brought a smile to Ennis's face as he saw it.

_I love you so much, _he thought as he examined Jack's face. He knew that he would never be able to stop thinking about Jack, not even to distract himself from his longing, so he might as well embrace it and think of Jack all the time.

Ennis wished he could tell someone about the wonderful man he'd met; this was very lonely and he felt like the only gay man on the ship. He knew this probably wasn't the case but he was too scared to ask this of anyone for fear of being wrong and found out. He had his suspicions about some of the guys, but he had no evidence and he didn't want to ask without being sure. What if they turned out to be straight and told everyone else about him? He could get beaten up, and while he could handle himself in a fight he couldn't fight off several of them.

He shook his head and remembered how proud Jack was of him for holding his head high and carrying on. He couldn't risk this, not when he just wasn't ready to leave. Jack wouldn't want him to.

* * *

Ennis remained in his cabin for most of the day, only emerging when he heard music starting to play for the party. It was mostly being held in the communal room below his cabin, but he knew that the celebrations would be going on all over. He wondered how much booze had been sneaked on board this time.

He found people milling about and talking, with suspicious paper cups that could be full of anything. "Hey, Ennis," one of them said to him as he walked near them. "You joining the party?"

"Reckon I might as well," he replied, nodding.

"Well, here's a tip. If you want booze, go to Mark Dawson's cabin next door to the communal room." Ennis nodded and figured it might not be such a bad idea after all. He knew that the bosses didn't come to these parties so there wasn't much chance of being caught drinking.

He got himself a drink and went into the large room next door, watching as some of the guys played pool or watched a Halloween movie on TV. There were decorations hanging up, and some of the guys were clearly having shot contests at the tables. He didn't really like the rowdiness of it, but it was better than sitting upstairs on his own. He missed Jack so much and hearing about his co-workers' latest conquests didn't really help, but he put up with it well enough.

Ennis sat down near the TV and started half-watching the movie, not really seeing it but thinking more about what Jack might be doing right now. When he'd spoken to Jack, he hadn't been too sure of his plans for tonight.

"_I mean, there's this party going on at the local dance hall, so I might go to that with Lureen. I don't normally bother but...I'm kinda lonely, you know?"_

"_I know, bud," Ennis replied, sighing. "Feel like that myself. I miss you so much that I'll hang out with anyone, even the ones I don't really like."_

_Jack laughed. "Guess we've got it bad for each other, huh? I love you, Ennis...so much."_

"_I love you too. And...I'm looking forward to staying with you the next time I'm there. It'll be great."_

"_Sure will. Your face will be the last thing I see at night and the first I see in the morning," Jack told him, which brought a smile to his face._

"_Sounds good to me."_

Ennis was brought back to the present when a loud roaring cheer came from one of the shot tables, and he shook his head. His greatest fear was someone finding out about him and Jack, and yet here he was daydreaming. He just couldn't risk someone finding out. He knew that Jack worried he would blame him if they were found out, but Ennis was sure that he could never do that to Jack. He didn't have it in him to feel any kind of negative emotion towards Jack, at all. He loved him too much.

"Ennis!" called one of the louder guys who seemed to think that Ennis was like him and his friends in terms of behaviour. "You wanna do some shots?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm good," he replied as patiently as possible. In truth, he hated how they acted and wished they could understand that he wasn't interested in being friends with them.

"Why not? This is a party, come on," the other guy pressed. Ennis could feel the others staring at him with the attention he was getting and the volume of the other guy's voice. He felt his cheeks starting to burn and wished the ground would swallow him up. Why did they have to be so embarrassing? "Ennis!"

He'd had enough of this party, if it could be called that. He should have known better than to even try, and wished more than ever that Jack could be here. He stood up, claiming that he felt unwell and just left the room, needing to get away.

Nobody followed him, which he was relieved about. He ended up locking himself in a cubicle for a while to calm down and try not to get too angry at those idiots he had to work with. Why couldn't they see that he just wanted to be left alone? Were they really that stupid?

Ennis sighed and looked at the photo of Jack on his phone, part of him wishing that he'd never left and that he could still be with the love of his life. He couldn't get a signal in here so decided to head up to the deck; he wanted to send Jack a message and hoped that he would reply tonight. He wondered if Jack had gone to the party after all; at least one of them should be having fun.

Up on the deck, everything was blessedly silent. Ennis breathed in the fresh air and headed for a chair that someone had brought out here. Knowing that nobody could sneak up on him without him being aware of it, he took out his phone and started texting. He hated not being with Jack, even though Jack had told him it was okay.

_Left the party, guys too rowdy. Hate it and wish I was with you xxx_

He looked up into the night sky, wondering if Jack was doing the same thing. They were going around South America to take the western route to their destination, which they had been told was the quicker way. Maybe they would be back sooner than he'd thought, which gave him some hope of seeing Jack again soon.

His phone buzzed and he looked down; Jack had replied.

_I didn't go to mine, didn't feel like it. I miss you too xxx_

Ennis smiled and settled into the chair to carry on talking with Jack, perfectly happy to stay out here all night; he was lonely, but as long as Jack was in his life he would never be alone.

* * *

_November 4th, 2009_

On Wednesday, Ennis was scrubbing part of the deck and thinking of the journey ahead. He didn't mind the grunt work he had to do, for it gave him the chance for some privacy and nobody bothered him. He preferred being on his own while on the ship and he hoped that at some point, the other guys would realise this.

He hadn't spoken to the other guys much at all since the disastrous Halloween party, and that was fine by him. He wanted nothing to do with those guys right now.

As he worked, he thought about Jack and what he might be doing right now. He knew that Jack's parents would be visiting in December, and he wished he could be there to meet them. If the circumstances had been normal, he probably would have met them by now since he and Jack had been together for six months now. Maybe they would be around next time.

Ennis stood up to take a break and wiped his brow, looking out over the ocean as they moved across. As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but sea and sky. They had just passed the southern tip of Argentina and there was still a long way to go yet.

He sighed to himself and was about to continue working when he heard footsteps. He looked over and groaned inwardly; it was the drunken idiot from the party who had been trying to get him to do shots and thoroughly embarrassing him in the process. "Ennis?"

"Yeah?" he asked patiently, wanting him to just say what he had to and then leave. Mike looked sheepish.

"I wanted to say sorry for the night of the party. I was pissed as hell on that tequila and...I shouldn't have made you the focus of attention like that. I know you don't like it."

"I sure as hell don't," Ennis replied, giving him a look. "I've never liked drawing attention to myself, but you did that for me. I hated it." Mike nodded.

"Like I said...I'm sorry. And the next time there's a party, if you're there I'll leave you alone. Okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Ennis replied, not trusting himself to say much. He was still angry over the whole thing and also worried; what if Mike found out about him and Jack? He clearly wasn't capable of keeping his mouth shut when drunk.

Ennis was nervous; he didn't know what he would do if someone found out the truth and used it to blackmail him or something. What if he went up for a promotion that someone else wanted and they'd found out about Jack? They could use that to force him into backing out and that scared him. He wanted to make this a success and knew that he never would if someone found out.

More than anything, Ennis wanted a friend who he could be honest with. Jack had Lureen to talk to when he needed it, and Ennis wanted the same thing with one of his co-workers. Surely there must be someone on here, gay or straight, that he could talk to about Jack when he missed him and it became too much. But he was too suspicious of everyone on board to even try and find someone like that; he had no idea of who he could trust.

When he'd finished, he went back down to his cabin and found it empty. He sighed and went to sit on his bed for a while, knowing that they would be serving lunch soon and looking forward to it.

He sent a text to Jack to tell him that he missed him and hoped he was doing okay, and passed the time by scrolling through the texts already on his phone. He missed Jack so much and wanted nothing more than be with him again. If it were possible, he would jump into the sea and swim back to Florida just to hold Jack in his arms again.

His phone buzzed and he looked at the new text from Jack.

_I'm okay, but I miss you too, every day. I love you and can't wait to see you again. Just remember everything we did together last month and how it felt; remember that it'll happen again one day xxx_

Ennis smiled and felt a little better at Jack's words; he always seemed to know what to say to make him feel better and Ennis loved him for it. Part of him suspected that Jack was playing down his own feelings of longing so that he didn't feel bad, and sometimes he wished that Jack wouldn't do that. But he did appreciate knowing that Jack missed him because it showed him that Jack's feelings were just as strong as his own.

He went down for lunch and joined the quieter group of guys that he knew, wondering if any of them were gay and if he might be able to talk to them. But without any kind of proof he was too scared in case he was wrong and someone took offence. That was the last thing he needed.

"You okay?" asked one of the guys when they noticed he wasn't eating much. Ennis nodded. "I heard what happened at the party...I'm guessing you weren't happy about being shown up..."

"Not really," Ennis sighed, looking over at Mike and his friends. He didn't understand why they even wanted to be friends with him, thinking that he was like them. He'd never shown any desire to do the things that they did. He hoped that one of them didn't follow him the next time he went to Jack's apartment. If someone saw them together he wasn't sure how he could explain it.

He kept mostly quiet during lunch, only speaking when asked to give an opinion about something and feeling more alone than ever even though he was surrounded by people. If Jack was here, he would have everything he needed.

* * *

Late that night, Ennis was lying in bed and trying to get to sleep. He liked hearing the waves outside and that sometimes helped him drop off, even when he wasn't really tired.

The ship was silent, which was a lot better than the night of the party and he appreciated it. As he lay there, he thought of Jack and if he too was trying to get to sleep. The moonlight was shining through the window and he looked up at it, wondering if Jack was looking at it too. It made a nice connection between them, to know that they looked upon the same sun and moon each day.

Ennis curled up on his side, closing his eyes and knowing that he was going to dream of Jack. That was no hardship to him; he loved dreaming about his friend and lover when he couldn't be there for real.

"_Hey," Jack murmured to him, kissing his neck. "I missed you..."_

"_Missed you too," Ennis sighed, wrapping his arms around Jack as they stood there together, reunited after so long. Jack felt warm and familiar; everything that he loved and remembered. "Feels good to hold you again..."_

"_Mmm..." Jack pulled away and smiled at him. "How about I welcome you home properly?" he asked suggestively, and Ennis grinned._

"_Sounds good to me." Jack pulled him close for a deep kiss and started walking backwards to the sofa, bringing Ennis with him and feeling his lover grow hard._

_They sank down onto the sofa together with Ennis on top, one leg in between Jack's and trying to refrain from humping against him. "Oh God, I want you..." he breathed in Jack's ear. Jack started undoing his buttons._

"_Then come and get me," he whispered, eyes full of lust as he exposed his chest. Ennis immediately leaned down to kiss the glowing skin, having missed this for so long. "Ennis..."_

_As they kissed, they found their shirts being flung to the floor and kicked their shoes off. Ennis started grinding against Jack, drawing a whimper from him as Jack bucked upwards. "You want me, Jack?" he asked, nuzzling his lover's neck. Jack nodded._

"_Take me," he groaned, needing to feel Ennis inside him. They undid each other's jeans and pulled them off, now with nothing to separate their bodies. Jack grabbed a bottle of lube that had appeared and handed it to Ennis, grinning. "You'll need this..."_

_Ennis smirked and smeared some over himself, knowing that Jack was watching him hungrily. It humbled him to know how much Jack wanted him. _

_He pushed Jack's legs apart as far as they would go on the narrow sofa and started pushing in, biting his lip. Jack gasped at the initial contact and the pain that came with it, but by now he was used to it and took deep breaths; it would be well worth it. "Oh God..."_

"_That feel good, darlin'?" Ennis asked as he kept pushing further in. Jack nodded, sighing when Ennis was fully inside him and they were tightly pressed together. "You look beautiful like this, Jack..."_

_Jack smiled up at him and wrapped his legs around his waist, holding on tight. "Make love to me," he whispered, and Ennis started to move. He pulled out halfway before moving smoothly back in and drawing a moan out of Jack. "Ennis...feels wonderful..."_

_Ennis kissed him deeply as he rocked into him, knowing that he was doing everything he could do make Jack feel good and that Jack appreciated his efforts. He trailed a hand down to take hold of Jack, hearing a gasp from beneath him. "Oh God..." he groaned, bucking underneath Ennis's touch._

_It didn't take long before Ennis felt ribbons of fluid hit his chest, accompanied by Jack yelling out as the pleasure overtook him. He thrust a few more times until he himself had finally released, and then sank down onto Jack's body. They were covered in sweat and Ennis could feel himself sticking to Jack but he didn't care; this felt too good to care about the mess. "Oh, Jack...I love you so much..."_

"_I love you too," Jack sighed, kissing his face and hair. He was smiling and felt exhausted, but didn't want to move because that would involve being away from Ennis; he didn't want that just yet. "You make me feel...so happy..."_

_Ennis smiled down at him, stroking Jack's face tenderly. "You make me happy too. I just...can't describe how I feel about you, Jack. There aren't words for what I'm feeling right now..."_

_Jack shook his head. "That's okay, Ennis..." He placed his hand over Ennis's heart. "I know what you feel anyway. You tell me you love me; that's more than enough because I can see the rest in your eyes. I feel it when you touch me, Ennis...you show me that you love me even when you can't say much about it except those three words."_

_Ennis blushed a little; he'd never had much confidence about himself. "Don't know about all that...you can really tell?"_

"_Yes, I can," Jack assured him, holding his face in both hands. "You've got a good heart, Ennis...and you're the best man I've ever known. I'm so proud of you for being who you are and not letting anyone try to change you. I swear..." He kissed Ennis again and pulled him close. "I love you..."_

"_I love you too, Jack..."_

Ennis jerked awake when he heard rain hitting the window and he blinked, still feeling Jack's lips on his own and seeing that face in his mind. He sighed, not being pleased by the interruption to his dream. But he had enjoyed it anyway; he hated it when he woke up during a sex dream before he came as it left him so frustrated that he had to take care of it before trying to get back to sleep.

He turned over and closed his eyes again, hoping that Jack knew he was thinking of him.

* * *

_November 16th, 2009_

On Monday, Ennis decided to call Jack when he had nothing else to do. It was early evening, so he knew that Jack would have finished work by now. He only ever called Jack from his cabin, and even then only when it was empty because he couldn't risk someone finding out who he was talking to. He knew that Jack wouldn't want him to risk his job for him.

He sat on his bed and scrolled through to Jack's number, smiling as he did every time he saw Jack's name on the screen. He took a deep breath before dialling; he always felt nervous about talking to Jack, even now. He could only guess that it was because of how much he loved Jack.

"Ennis?" came Jack's voice, sounding eager. Ennis smiled.

"Hey, Jack. Just...wanted to talk. Miss hearing your voice."

"Ennis..." Jack sighed. "That's really sweet. I miss you too, bud...so much. Can you tell me anything about what you're doing right now?"

"We're heading for Hong Kong. Should be there just after the New Year and we'll be spending a few days there before coming back. Should be back in April."

"That's a long time away..." Jack replied, sounding wistful.

"I know, but think of it like this; when I come back, it'll be about a year since we met. That's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah, it's quite a milestone," Jack admitted in spite of himself. "But...we've only spent about a week in each other's company. We should have had so much more by now..."

"Jack...I'm sorry," Ennis told him; he didn't know what else to say that might ease the pain. "You know I would be with you more often if I could be, but I've got this contract..."

Jack sighed. "I know. I'm sorry too, Ennis...I shouldn't keep whining like this when I've known all along how things have to be. I knew from the start and I've accepted that because I wanted anything I could get from you. And don't get me wrong...the time we've spent together so far has been amazing. I'm sorry if I sound ungrateful when I complain about this..."

Ennis smiled affectionately. "You're not ungrateful, Jack. You're just lonely. I know it hurts that we can't be together more often, because I feel that pain too. I want nothing more than to be with you again, and I hate how I can't be just yet. The guys here...they all talk about the girls they've been with on shore leave and I can't talk about you. Even if I could...they wouldn't get it anyway. I swear, they think it's all about sex...we've got more than just that, you know?"

"I know, Ennis. The sex is incredible and you really do know how to rattle a headboard," Jack informed him, clearly grinning. "But...other than that...there's something else. The way you hold me and whisper to me...the way you kiss me...to be honest, I remember that more than the sex sometimes. But it all comes together and we're just...we're great together."

Ennis smiled. "We sure are. Never thought I'd ever find anyone that I wanted to spend more than just a night with. I never got the whole 'girl in every port' thing, to be honest. How can that even...do anything for them besides getting off?"

"I don't know, but I'm glad you're not like that," Jack told him. "You are so...better than that. You didn't want just one night with me, and we even put off sex until our next meeting so that we could be sure instead of doing it in the heat of the moment, which we could have regretted. I know that you didn't just do that for me, but for you as well...you needed to be sure that you weren't going to break my heart by having sex with me after only just meeting and then leaving without a word."

"I would never do that to you, Jack," Ennis assured him. "I did want to sleep with you, but I knew it would be a bad idea at the time. I'm glad we waited because we were sure of it by then. We were sure it would work out despite how little time we spend together."

"Yeah, and I'm still sure of that. I love you so much, Ennis...and I'm looking forward to seeing you again. God knows I'm missing you so much right now...you know what I did?"

"What?"

"After you left, I didn't change the sheets for a lot longer than I normally do. Your smell was still on your side of the bed and I...curled up into it every night and tried to imagine that you were there with me. Couldn't bring myself to change the sheets until the smell had faded."

Ennis had no idea how to respond to this. To think that Jack had missed him so much as to do that humbled him. He was starting to see how much he meant to Jack. "Bud...I don't know what to say. Nobody's ever loved me enough to do that..."

"Well...I did it," Jack said softly. "You mean the world to me, Ennis...and I don't care if we're moving so fast when we are together. If we'd been together every day, we'd be at the same place we are now. The part where it's all sex and talking and just being together. That makes it okay for us to move fast when you're here. I love you."

"I love you too...and when I come back I'm gonna kiss you so hard your lips will feel numb afterwards. By the time I leave, you'll be walking funny for a week," he promised in a low voice.

"That sounds...perfect," Jack replied, and Ennis knew he was smiling. "I can't wait to see you again, Ennis. Take care, okay?"

"Yeah, you too. Night, Jack."

"Night, bud."

Ennis clicked off and smiled at the thought of Jack on his side of the bed, just waiting until it could be filled again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_Thursday, December 3rd 2009_

_It's been eight months since we met, and seven weeks since Ennis left again. They say that time flies when you're having fun, and that is definitely the case because every day drags by like a week. I miss him so much and think about him every day. I picture him on the ship, just walking around or sometimes working. I think about him with his shirt off, sweating in the heat. I know what it looks like now and I love picturing him like that._

_I told him about what I did after he left; how I couldn't change the sheets until his scent had faded from them. I just couldn't bring myself to do it any sooner and I wish it hadn't faded at all. I used to curl up on his side and breathe him in, and it helped me fall asleep because it was almost as if he was there with me._

_When I walk in the park, I sit on the bench that I once shared with him and thought about the days we had together. I can't wait to form even more memories with him when he comes back._

_Christmas is coming soon. The snow will fall in a few days, I reckon, and it's always beautiful in the park. I'll take some photos and send them to Ennis when I can; I know he'll like them. The major downside is that Christmas can be a romantic time for couples, and I really wish Ennis could be here to share it with me. I want to kiss him under the mistletoe, and to sit in front of the fire with glasses of wine and just talk all night before going to bed. I want to wake up next to him on Christmas morning and remember just how lucky I am to have him._

_Every time I think about all of this, it cuts into me like a knife how we can't be together at this time. I want to share everything with him, like couples are supposed to do but we won't even spend Christmas together for at least a couple of years, as well as our birthdays. I look around and see other couples ice skating and holding hands, wishing that I could have that too._

_But I know how things are; he's got his job to do and I know I can't ask him to give that up for me. I don't even want him to because I'm not selfish like that. I just want him to be happy, and he says that I make him happy. But I want more for him than just me. He should be happy with everything in his life, not just his love life._

_Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing him again. I'm counting down the days and I know it'll be great when we're back together. Until then, I've got my memories of him. They'll be enough for now, I reckon._

Jack closed his diary and looked around the living room, still half-picturing Ennis everywhere he looked. He wondered what it might be like when they actually lived together, a few years from now. He hoped that they would adjust okay, considering how little experience they had of living together. Jack knew in his heart that their love for each other would surely help them through it.

He knew that Ennis hated being on that ship sometimes, but it meant a lot to Jack that he was sticking with it anyway despite that. Jack admired him for his bravery and had told Ennis so.

He recalled the phone call, when he'd told Ennis about curling up on his side of the bed to get to sleep. He wondered how Ennis had felt about that; he'd certainly seemed taken aback. He wished he could have seen Ennis's face at this declaration; Ennis sometimes acted as though he truly didn't know how much he was loved, and Jack wanted him to know because he thought that Ennis deserved to. He recalled the nights they had spent together here, and what Ennis had said to him.

"_I love you," Ennis whispered to him, nuzzling his neck as they cooled down. "You're amazing, you know that?"_

"_Hmm," Jack replied, smiling as Ennis caressed him from behind. "I must be, if you keep telling me that."_

"_You really are," Ennis told him, kissing his ear. "I swear it, Jack...you're everything I need..." He squeezed Jack tighter and heard him purring. "I like it when you make that sound..."_

"_You're making me do it," Jack pointed out. "It's the way you make me feel, Ennis. I feel...safe, and warm...like everything's gonna be okay." He turned his head to kiss Ennis on the lips, feeling a smile form on his lover's mouth. "Mmm..."_

_He turned back and was rewarded by Ennis rubbing his stomach, which immediately made him feel drowsy. Soon enough, he had dropped off in Ennis's arms. He vaguely recalled Ennis humming in his ear as he fell asleep, and he felt very lucky to be here with this wonderful man._

Jack smiled at the memory, and thought of what he'd told Ennis. He'd said that while the sex was the most intense experience he'd ever had and he loved it when they did it, their relationship wasn't just about that. They were in love and the emotions were right there under the surface when they made love, sometimes spilling out as they kissed and whispered to each other. It was both a physical and emotional thing that meant a lot to him and he knew that Ennis felt the same.

He pulled out his phone and looked at the recent texts from Ennis; this was just one of the many things that he loved about Ennis. They weren't just lovers; they were becoming best friends too and he loved that thought. Lureen would always mean a lot to him, but Ennis was becoming everything he needed and he looked forward to the day when Ennis returned for good.

* * *

After he'd eaten some dinner, Jack retired to the sofa and switched on the TV. There was a chill starting to set in during the evenings now even with the fire on, so he grabbed the afghan from the back of the sofa and draped it around himself. He wished he could feel Ennis's arms around him, but this would have to do.

He could admit that he was a little disappointed with knowing that Ennis wouldn't be here for Christmas, since it would otherwise be a very romantic time for them. He longed to curl up in bed with Ennis on a cold morning and just snuggle together to keep warm before they had to get up. All he could hope for was that one day, they would have that.

He thought about sending Ennis a present but he had no idea if he could send something bigger than a letter. Maybe he could buy something and keep it as an anniversary present for when Ennis returned in April; that might be the best option for him.

Jack knew it wouldn't be easy to be alone during the holidays. Every time he saw a sprig of mistletoe he wished that Ennis could be here for him to kiss. He wondered if there would be a party on the ship and if Ennis would go to it; he knew that the Halloween party hadn't gone well for Ennis. He'd been surprised to learn that Ennis had been offered an apology.

"_It was weird," Ennis told him over the phone. "He just came up to me and said sorry for making me uncomfortable. I kept thinking that they never noticed that. Wonder what got into him?"_

"_Maybe he really does see you as a friend, and he felt guilty for embarrassing you like that?" Jack suggested. "I know you think they're all complete assholes, but...maybe you were wrong..."_

"_Yeah, maybe. I guess they're not so bad when they're not talking about the endless list of girls they've got in each port. You know, before I joined up I didn't believe that whole thing. I thought that nobody could be so cold-hearted as to have sex with someone they barely know and then just leave them without a word, and then to do the same to someone else. But they really are like that, Jack. I don't know what to make of it..."_

"_Ennis...you're always gonna find guys like that, I reckon. Gay or straight, it doesn't matter...some of them like to do that stuff. Maybe girls do too, I don't know. I agree that it's not right, because they could break someone's heart or even get a girl pregnant and leave her to deal with it by herself. But it's the way some people are and they're never gonna change. As long as we're okay with what we've got, that's all that matters to me."_

"_Jack...I'm happy with you. I really am and I can't wait to see you again."_

Jack smiled at the memory and flipped through the channels until he found a Christmas movie. As he watched it, he wondered what a Christmas with Ennis would be like. Would they go walking in the park and end up in a snowball fight? Perhaps they would chase each other through the snow until one of them was pinned down. He liked the idea of Ennis's warmth pressing him into the cold snow on the ground, maybe with Ennis kissing him too.

He thought about Christmas morning, and how they could spend it together if Ennis was here. He would like to spend some time in bed before opening their presents, to warm each other up on a cold morning and to have an early present. Then afterwards they could eat breakfast together and maybe go for a walk in the park. He would love it if they had the freedom to hold hands without fear of someone Ennis knew seeing them together, but maybe that would have to wait anyway until after he'd quit.

Maybe they could have Christmas dinner alone or with Jack's parents up near the coast, or maybe even invite Ennis's parents down for dinner. Jack wanted to meet them and he also wanted Ennis to meet his parents; he figured it was something that couples did when they were serious about each other and he knew that he and Ennis certainly were.

There was so much more for him and Ennis to do as they spent more time together and he couldn't wait. He wanted to experience everything with the love of his life and knew that Ennis wanted the same thing.

His cell phone buzzed and he looked at it eagerly; there was a message from Ennis flashing on the screen.

_Thinking of you, hope you're okay xxx_

Jack smiled when he saw this: Ennis could be really sweet to him sometimes and he loved to see that side of him. When he'd first clapped eyes on Ennis he never could have guessed that such a gentle soul was resting beneath that strong exterior. Ennis may be strong and dependable when he needed to be, but Jack knew he also had a vulnerable side that he didn't show often; he'd seen it, though. He knew how Ennis hated being part of a group that he couldn't be honest to about who he loved and who he was. He knew how scared Ennis was of being found out; not because he was ashamed but because he didn't want to feel like a failure.

He'd told Ennis that no matter what happened, he would always have somewhere to go. For all he cared, Ennis could stay here with him if he got kicked out and Jack would never judge him for anything. He had more or less promised Ennis his unconditional love and support, and when Ennis returned he might just say it out loud so that Ennis knew it for sure. Then maybe Ennis wouldn't be so scared anymore.

* * *

_December 12th, 2009_

On Saturday, Jack met up with Lureen for lunch. He did like spending time with her anyway, and she was one of the few people he could talk about Ennis to. He missed his lover so much and was counting down the days until he came back.

They entered the same café that he and Ennis had been to and settled into a window table. Wendy took their orders and they were left alone. It was getting colder by now so they were glad to be inside where it was warm. Lureen smiled at Jack. "So...how long until Ennis comes back?"

Jack shrugged. "He said April, but he doesn't know exactly when. He won't know until they get closer."

She nodded. "Well, at least you've got some idea of when he's coming back, right?"

"Yeah. I can't wait to see him again...there's so much more I want us to do together..."

"I'll bet there is," she replied, winking. Jack grinned.

"Not just that, but other stuff too. I mean...last time I offered him a place to stay when he's on shore leave. I said he could stay with me every night instead of moving his stuff between my place and the barracks."

Lureen smiled. "That sounds great, Jack. I bet he was surprised when you offered that, wasn't he?"

"He seemed to be. Was quite taken aback..." He smiled. "You know what? I was thinking about what I could give him as an anniversary present. He said I didn't have to get anything, but there's something I wanna give him." He took a deep breath. "I thought I'd...give him a key to my apartment. So he can come and go as he wants when I'm at work, you know?"

"Oh Jack...that's so romantic," Lureen sighed, smiling wider. "He'll love that."

"I hope so...it's all I can think of to show him how much I love him. I know it gets hard for him that we can't be together more often and he has to deal with all that stuff on the boat...it gets to him that he can't talk about me."

"I'll bet. You told me about the Halloween party and...I can't believe that the guy just embarrassed him like that."

"Yeah, but he told me that the guy apologised a few days later. So neither of us really knows what to make of that, you know?"

"Well, maybe he really was sorry about it. People can do crazy things when they're drunk, after all."

"I guess so. Anyway, I keep telling Ennis how proud I am of him for carrying on and not letting it get to him too much. It's all I can do to keep him going, I reckon."

Lureen leaned forward, chewing her lip. "Jack...I need to ask...what'll happen if Ennis is found out? Will the captain dismiss him?"

"I don't know. Depends on what the captain thinks about gay guys. If he's okay with it then maybe he'll let Ennis stay. But I worry about the other guys, especially the one who was winding him up at the party. Something tells me he'll make it hard for Ennis if he finds out about us. I've got a bad feeling about him."

Lureen looked thoughtful. "And if he is kicked out? You know it'll wreck his confidence..."

"I know, but I already told him he could stay with me, more or less. I'll tell him properly when I talk to him again. I want him to know that no matter what, he'll have a place to go and I'll look after him while he adjusts."

Lureen smiled. "Jack...you're a good man, you know. And I'm sure Ennis will appreciate that when you tell him. You know...I'm a little jealous. You've got something good there, honey."

"I reckon you'll find someone of your own, Lureen. You're beautiful, funny, sweet...a guy would be lucky to have you," he told her sincerely, squeezing her hand. She grinned and their food arrived at last.

"That's sweet, Jack. Ennis is a lucky man." They started eating and Lureen thought over their plans for Christmas. "You know, I was wondering...since Ennis won't be here, you gonna have Christmas dinner at your folks' house?"

He shrugged. "I've no idea, to be honest. Don't know what I'm doing. My parents are coming over for dinner tonight so I'll figure it out then. They might have their own plans.

"I see. Well, if you want you can come to mine for dinner. You can't be alone on Christmas."

He smiled at her. "Thanks, Lureen. I appreciate that. I might take you up on that if they've got plans. Wish I could have dinner with Ennis too, though..." he lamented, wishing his lover could be here.

"You will one day, Jack. I know it. Gonna be a while, that's true...but one day."

"I know. I keep thinking about what it's gonna be like when he comes back for good. I'd like to live here with him for at least a while, but he lives in Iowa. If he wants to move back up there then that wouldn't be the worst thing."

"Really? You've lived in Florida all your life, Jack...you've always lived here in Jacksonville. You really think you could move?"

Jack nodded. "To be with him...I would move to another country if I had to. He could want to go and live in Australia with me and I'd go with him." He looked up at her. "I'd do anything for him, Lureen. I really would."

She smiled. "You're really lucky, Jack...to love someone that much and have them love you back. It's something else. I'm happy that you've finally met someone like that."

They kept eating and Jack thought about what he'd said. He didn't know what his and Ennis's plans were for the future, but he was certain that they would end up together and that was enough to keep him happy for now. He wanted to be with Ennis for the rest of his life.

* * *

That evening, Jack was getting dinner ready for his parents' visit. He always looked forward to seeing them and he knew how lucky he was that they were so understanding of him and his life, not to mention who he'd chosen to be with.

As he cooked, he thought about his plans for Christmas day. Since Ennis wouldn't be here, he could spend it with either his parents or Lureen. Maybe they could compromise and invite Lureen to have dinner with them.

He thought of Ennis and what he could expect from Christmas; Ennis had told him that they had turkey dinner on board the ship and there was usually a party, but Jack wondered if Ennis would even go to that considering how badly the last party had gone for him. He hated how Ennis had to put up with homophobic people every day; that couldn't be an easy environment to work in.

The buzzer sounded and he went to let his parents into the building. There was soon a knock at the door and he stood smiling at them. "Hey...how was the journey?" he asked as he hugged his mother.

"Quiet, actually," his father replied as Jack hugged him. "How's life in the city?"

Jack grinned. "I'm doing good. Still looking for a job that I'll enjoy, but I like working with Lureen at the moment."

"Good. How's Ennis?"

"He's alright, I guess. But he tells me he's having problems with the other guys on the ship..."

"What like?" Karen asked as they sat down. Jack sighed.

"Well...you've probably heard things about sailors on shore leave and what they get up to. Ennis says the guys he knows are just like that, having girls in every port and all that. And they're always talking about their conquests and he hates how he can never talk about me. It really gets to him because he thinks they wouldn't understand anyway. He's more of a gentleman than they are, I reckon." Jack knew this was true, from the way Ennis had been okay with waiting before having sex; the fact that Ennis hadn't just pounced on him told Jack a lot about his whole personality.

"Well...I reckon you get guys like that everywhere," his mother suggested. "Gay, straight...sailors, civilians...some are just like that."

"That's what I said. But it got bad during the Halloween party. Ennis hates being the centre of attention, and there was this drunk guy who kept trying to get him to do some shots. He wasn't quiet about it so Ennis left." He sighed. "But a few days later the guy apologised so I guess that's sorted now."

"And...you're certain that nobody on the ship knows about you?" Karen asked, rubbing his shoulder. Jack nodded.

"Yeah. Ennis would have been approached by now and we're in regular contact. He'd text me at least if something happened even he couldn't call without fear of being heard."

"He keeps his phone secure, doesn't he? With those texts you send to each other?"

"Yeah, there's a password. He told me what it is, too...the name of the street where I live here, Birch, with my birthdate at the end. Nobody's gonna guess that because nobody on that ship knows me or the date I was born."

Karen smiled. "That's very smart of him. He sounds wonderful, Jack. I just worry sometimes about you missing him so much...that can't be good for you."

"I know. But I'm really okay because we talk so much. If he was completely cut off from me then it would be a lot harder to cope. But I'm fine, honestly," he assured her, smiling before he got up to get the dinner ready. His mother tried to help but he shooed her away, insisting that they were his guests and that it was his responsibility.

When they had sat down, his father cleared his throat. "So, do you happen to know where they're headed next?"

"Yep, Hong Kong. He's not sure why and I don't think he'd be allowed to tell me anyway if he was. But I know he likes seeing other places. He sent me a load of photos from Alexandria when he got back, and...there was this photo he took of the sunset before they left. He had it enlarged and framed and he gave it to me as a birthday present," he told them, smiling at the memory.

Karen smiled. "He sounds lovely, Jack. He really does. I'm always going to worry, because I'm your mother and it's my job. But if you're certain that you're going to be okay then I can let it go. Does Ennis make you happy? That's all I really want to know..."

Jack nodded firmly, smiling back. "He does, Mom. He makes me really happy even when he's not here and we're just talking on the phone."

They started eating and talking about other things. It turned out that his parents were planning to stay put for Christmas dinner, so Jack would be able to eat with them. He also managed to get an invite for Lureen because he didn't want her to be alone either; she had always been like a sister to him.

Afterwards, he made them some coffee and soon they had to be on their way home. "So, we'll see you on Christmas Day, then," his mother said as they stood at the door. He nodded.

"Yep. I'll bring Lureen with me. But I won't be drinking because of the driving back. I'll save the wine for when I get home," he said with a grin. "Safe journey back," he told them as he embraced them both once more.

"Yeah. Give our best to Ennis when you talk to him, okay?"

"I will do. Take care." He closed the door after them and looked around, wishing that Ennis could be there for him to just relax into. Hopefully one day, that dream would be a reality and they would be a proper couple like he so wanted.

* * *

_December 25th, 2009_

Jack entered his apartment and looked around; it was as quiet and empty as ever. He sighed and locked the door behind him, having just returned from his parents' house and from dropping Lureen off at her place. She lived a few blocks away from him and often walked to work together if they had the same shift.

He put the fire on and grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and a glass, settling down onto the sofa and pulling out his phone. It was a chilly night as usual so he wrapped the afghan around himself again. Jack smiled when he saw the image of Ennis on his phone, wondering what he was doing right now.

"Jack?" asked a tired voice at the other end.

"Hey, bud. Hope I'm not disturbing you..."

"No, I'm fine. Just a little tired. I went to the party for a while and it was better than the last one. Those guys got drunk again but they left me alone, so it was okay. Just talked to some of the others and drank more wine than I probably should have done..."

Jack grinned. "I just got back from my parents' place. Dropped Lureen off and now I've opened some wine. Wanted to talk to you like we planned."

"Did you have a good time?" Ennis asked, and Jack sighed.

"I did, but...I really missed you. I caught my parents kissing under the mistletoe in the kitchen and started wishing that you were there so that we could do the same thing..."

"I know, Jack...I wish I could be there too. It hurts that I can't be there right now...I want to...hold you and kiss you. I wanna feel you in my arms so much and tell you how much I love you..."

"Ennis...it's really okay. I want all of that too but I know how things have to be. All we can do is just deal with it as best we can and try not to let it get to us too much. I know that's easier said than done, but..."

"But we just have to do it," Ennis agreed, sounding wistful. "I think about you all the time, Jack. Everything just seems to remind me of you. It does make me feel lonely, but...in some way it also makes me feel that you're right here with me. You know?"

"I think I do. My mom still worries about me pining for you so much and being alone but I told her it's okay because we talk so much. I feel a lot less lonely when I think about how you're just a phone call away. It does help a lot...and the dreams are pretty damn good too," he added with a smirk.

"Yeah, same here," Ennis admitted. "They're something else, alright. I can almost feel you here with me, like it was when we really were together. And we do just about everything, Jack."

"Hmm...sounds interesting. Maybe when you get back we could have a little game. See how many times in one night we can make each other come," he grinned. "Could even be a contest."

"Jack..." Ennis replied, and Jack knew he was blushing and probably turned on. "We can't go having phone sex. My cabin mate could walk in at any time..."

"Alright. But I still want that contest when you come back. And the loser will get a...severe punishment," he purred, feeling aroused now. He heard Ennis gulp.

"Well, um...that sounds fair," he answered, sounding flustered. Jack bit back a laugh.

"I'm serious, Ennis...things are always a little tense for us because of how we're on borrowed time. We should just let go and have some fun, you know? I think we deserve it."

"Yeah...you're right. So when I come back, we'll have that little contest. Just remember to buy a lot of lube," he quipped, and Jack laughed.

"I will. I love you, Ennis. So much...and I can't wait to see you again. Not just for the sex, but...just to be with you again. I'm counting down the days until you're back here."

"Me too. Take care of yourself Jack, okay? I don't want anything happening to you while I'm so far away."

"Ennis..." Jack sighed, feeling more in love than ever. "I'll be fine. Oh, before I forget...there's something I wanted to tell you. I know there's a chance of you being found out. And I know that you're terrified of losing your job and ending up with nowhere to go. But I want you to know...that if that happens you will always have a home. I know your parents might be disappointed in you if you're sacked, but I won't be. So if you can't live near them if you get sacked...you can stay with me."

"You...you mean that?" Ennis asked, sounding stunned.

"I do. You'll need a while to adjust so you can stay here with me. I'll look after you, Ennis, I promise. Your entire family could turn on you, and I would still be here to give you somewhere to go. You'll never be alone, you hear me?"

"Jack...I don't know what to say. Thank you..."

"It's no problem. All I ask is that you don't break my heart," he replied, knowing that it wouldn't happen anyway.

"Jack, I would never do that," Ennis told him firmly. "Ever."

"Good," Jack said with a smile. "Listen, I'll let you get some sleep now. Can we talk on New Year's Eve?"

"Yeah, sure. I love you, Jack...night."

"Night, Ennis. Love you too." He hung up and smiled, very happy that he was able to offer Ennis something secure if everything else fell apart for him. It was the least he could do for someone who made him so happy, and he silently vowed that Ennis would always have him no matter what else happened. He would protect Ennis fiercely if he had to, but he hoped that it would never come to that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Tuesday, January 5th 2010_

_Dear Jack,_

_Sometimes I can't believe how long it's been since we met. Nearly a whole year and I love you more than ever. _

_When we're apart, the time drags so much that I swear the clocks have been slowed down somehow. But when we're together it goes by way too fast for both of us and I hate that. I wish I could be with you more often, Jack. Talking on the phone is great and it helps with feeling lonely, but I want to hold you and kiss you more than anything._

_We'll be arriving in Hong Kong today, which I'm looking forward to. I've been doing research and it looks like an interesting place. There are some things in particular I want to see, and I can take photos for you. I know you liked the one I gave you for your birthday._

_While I'm there, I'm going to buy you something for our anniversary. I don't know what yet but I'm sure I'll find something you'll like there. _

_I can't believe that when I come back, it'll be a year since we got together. Feels like a lot less since we haven't spent that much time together, but that's okay. When we are together we make up for lost time and that means a lot to me. I know you feel the same about it._

_I miss you, Jack. There was a party to ring in the New Year and it was more fun than the Halloween party. At least this time, the guys weren't trying to get me to do shots. I did have a few drinks, though, and watched the others as they got drunk and made themselves look stupid. A few of the female sailors on board managed to sneak in, so they were happy. _

_The girls were popular at midnight when the clock struck and there was a lot of kissing. That was when I missed you the most, because I so wanted to kiss you then. The phone call did help when I got back to the cabin, so thank you for that. It was good to talk to you, even if I couldn't be there. _

_Jack, every single day I worry about being caught. I keep thinking that someone's going to hear me talking to you or somehow break into my phone and read my messages. I keep it with me all the time just to keep it safe, but I still worry. I have no idea what would happen if someone found out. They would probably report me or worse yet, tell everybody else._

_But I know I can't let it get to me because I'm doing everything I can to keep it safe. I'll be back soon enough and I'm looking forward to being with you again. I'd love to have dinner or go to a movie with you, so hopefully we will._

_I love you, Jack. Take care of yourself, bud._

_Love, Ennis._

He put his pen down and read over the letter, smiling to himself. He knew how much Jack appreciated the romantic gesture of him writing, so he kept on doing it because of that. He didn't care if the other guys didn't understand; all that mattered to him was that Jack did.

He remembered the phone call on New Year's Eve that he and Jack had shared; it had been so good to talk to him on that night, even though he missed Jack immensely.

"_So how was the party?" Jack asked, and Ennis sighed._

"_It was kind of fun after a while, but I was lonely. They had some of the female sailors there, which the other guys liked, and they were all kissing at midnight. I wanted to kiss you."_

"_I know, Ennis. I've been feeling the same tonight. But one day, we'll get that. We'll spend as much time together as we want, I promise." Ennis felt his heart soar; how amazing would it be to spend every single day with Jack, to wake up with him and go to bed with him every day? It would be a perfect life and he could think of nothing that would make him happier._

"_I'm looking forward to that, Jack. I can't wait to do all the things that other couples do that we can't. One day I won't have to be scared of someone finding out, and I can't wait."_

"_That's right. But for now, we just have to concentrate on getting through this time apart. I miss you too but I know you'll be back soon. And it'll be our anniversary."_

"_Yeah, that's something to look forward to," Ennis agreed, smiling. He tried to picture Jack's smiling face and it warmed his heart. "I love you, Jack. Happy New Year, darlin'."_

"_Happy New Year, Ennis. I love you too."_

Ennis smiled fondly at the memory, looking at a photo of Jack on his phone and remembering everything they had done together during his time on land. His dreams were a mixture of memory and fantasy, which surprised him. There was so much more he wanted to do with Jack, and not just in the bedroom. He wanted the big date, with dinner and a movie. He wanted a picnic in the park when the weather was good. He wanted to walk around holding Jack's hand without feeling scared of someone he knew seeing them.

He sometimes wondered if he should just quit the Navy now so that he could be with Jack for good when they got back. But he still had his contract to fulfil and he knew that Jack wouldn't want him to quit just like that. Apart from feeling lonely and sometimes getting annoyed by his co-workers, Ennis did enjoy this life because he got to see other countries that he wouldn't see otherwise. He could stick it out as long as Jack was in his life, and as long as he would be there when Ennis needed him.

* * *

They arrived at the port in Hong Kong and Ennis looked around him. He had a dictionary with him so that he could at least try to translate the signs around him, but he knew it wouldn't be easy. But he was up for the challenge.

He and the others had been told that they would have five days here, so he set about locating the main attractions he wanted to see. Since he would have to return to the ship every night, he didn't want to go too far into the area because he knew he would get lost if he did. He was currently at Victoria Harbour on the mainland, and the nearest attraction he wanted to see was the history museum on the south-eastern part of the area. He figured it was a good place to start, so he grabbed a leaflet from the tourist stand nearby and started to make his way there.

The weather was a lot warmer here than it probably was in Florida, and he didn't envy Jack having to walk through cold winds to get to work. He did hope that Jack was doing well back home, though, and part of him wished that he could share this with his lover.

Ennis looked at the exhibits in the museum with interest, half-listening to a museum guide talking to a group. He could barely understand the snatches of conversation from the locals but it didn't bother him too much; he had time to learn something while he was here. Maybe he could impress Jack with something romantic to say when he came back. He was surprised to learn that English was an official language of the country, as well as Chinese. Maybe he would get by after all if he found someone who he could talk to.

Ennis found his way to a street market, where he hoped to find something he could give to Jack for their anniversary. He came across a stall of handmade souvenirs of different shapes and sizes, with words in Chinese written on them. Ennis looked at them curiously, wondering if he could find one that Jack would like.

"You want something in particular?" asked a young Chinese woman who was minding the stall. He smiled at her.

"Do you have any that say 'love' on them? Or 'I love you'?" he asked her, and she nodded, pointing down to the hearts on one side.

"Those on the right say 'I love you'," she told him, and he looked closely at them. There was a light blue one that reminded him of Jack's eyes, and he smiled, picking it up. There were strange numerals on the price tag but she helped him with the correct number of dollars to pay with.

He set off walking again and found himself at the Kowloon Park, needing to take a break from the walking around. He sat on a bench and watched as people walked by, wondering what Jack might be doing right now.

As he looked around, Ennis wondered what was going to happen when he did leave the Navy. His parents were currently looking after his apartment in Knoxville, which he appreciated but he didn't know if Jack would want to move there or if he would rather stay where he was. Either way, if they wanted to be together then one of them would have to move; there was no way they could carry on with a long-distance relationship after all of this. The whole point of him leaving the Navy was for them to be together every day, so something would have to change.

He didn't know what was going to happen for he and Jack had never discussed it. Neither of them had ever wanted to talk too much about the future because they didn't want to get caught up in it. For now, they were just focusing on their relationship at this time.

After a while, he got up and carried on walking. This time, he headed out to the Island to see what there was and found more shops to explore. He was getting used to the area and could hear a few people speaking English around him, which made him more comfortable because he knew he stuck out like a sore thumb.

He strolled along the beach by himself, looking out over the water and taking in the warm weather that he'd missed recently. The ocean air could make things colder than normal when they were moving.

He walked around a little more and even tried the local food, but soon the sun was starting to set and he had to get back to the ship. There were a few others heading back after a long day, including some of his friends that he got on with. Despite having friends, Ennis was lonely and missed Jack so much. He couldn't even talk about Jack to anyone because he didn't know how they were going to react. Those friends could turn on him if they knew the truth and that scared him.

Lying on his bed that night, Ennis stared out of the window and wondered what Jack was doing. He continued to wonder what their future plans might be and he worried that neither of them would want to move when the time came to make these decisions. What if they just couldn't agree on who was going to move and they started arguing? That would ruin everything, and he was terrified by the thought of Jack leaving him.

Needing to reassure himself, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Jack.

_I love you xxx_

He pressed his phone to his lips, praying that he wasn't going to lose Jack over something like that. Maybe they could reach a compromise and have both of them move to somewhere in between. Either way, he would do anything to keep Jack in his life. A buzzing made him look back at his phone.

_I love you too xxx_

* * *

_January 10th, 2010_

On Sunday, they were leaving Hong Kong at last and about to head home. Ennis had once again enjoyed seeing a new country, but his heart was yearning for Jack back in Florida and he was glad to be returning. He missed Jack every day and it never got easier, despite how often they talked.

He texted Jack every day, usually the last thing at night before he went to sleep. Their phone calls had to be less frequent because Ennis was so scared of someone overhearing him and finding out the truth. Every time he caught someone looking at him he wondered if they knew something, even though he knew there was no chance of that; he kept his phone close to him at all times and there was no way that someone could know the password.

Still, he was fairly happy with the way things were. Jack made him happy and he couldn't wait to be back. Maybe they could have a cinema date, as it would be dark in there and he didn't think that the others would be there anyway.

There was one thing that he and Jack hadn't done that was on his mind for next time; they hadn't taken a bath together. The thought had occurred to him and he was certain that they would fit in there; he figured it would be quite romantic if they had some candles and maybe wine.

He was sat in the communal room right now, half-watching the TV as they waited for the order to prepare for their departure. He kept picturing his return to Jack's apartment and remembered what Jack had told him; he'd said that Ennis could stay there instead of at the barracks while on shore leave, and Ennis had to admit that he was very humbled by the offer.

One night before arriving in Hong Kong, Ennis had tried calling Jack to thank him for his offer. Jack didn't answer, so Ennis had figured he'd been in the shower and left a message.

"_Jack, I just wanted to say thank you again for your offer. It really means a lot to me that you want me to stay with you when I'm on shore leave. I'd love to stay at your place because I honestly don't like staying in the barracks. I'd be much happier at your place and I'm looking forward to it already. So...I love you, and I'll see you soon."_

He smiled and thought of the day when he would be back with Jack; soon enough he would have his lover in his arms and everything would be alright again. Jack was the love of his life and Ennis wanted to tell him, but he wanted it to be when he could see Jack's reaction. He wanted to see Jack's eyes light up the way they did when he told him something sweet. He loved everything about Jack; nobody was perfect but he thought Jack was close enough. Even if Jack did have flaws, Ennis didn't care because there was nothing that would stop him from loving Jack. He sometimes considered asking Jack if there was anything he should know, but he didn't want to make Jack uncomfortable if there was a bad memory inside him.

He became distracted when one of his friends sat down next to him. This was Richard, who was one of the quieter guys that never caused him any trouble. "Hey, Ennis."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Been hearing a rumour about the next shore leave. They're saying it's only gonna be a few days this time."

Ennis felt his heart sink; just a few days with Jack, around their anniversary? That couldn't be right; he wanted more time with Jack and he hated how he couldn't influence that. "Shit...that's bad."

"Yeah. I heard you've been seeing someone when on shore leave. What's her name?"

Ennis seriously considered telling him the truth, for he was certain that he could trust him. But he didn't have the guts to do it, and silently apologised to his lover for doing this. "Jackie," he replied, managing a smile.

"Right. Been nearly a year, right?"

"Yeah. Twelve months in April. I can't wait to be with...her again," he replied, catching himself before he revealed anything. "I'm looking forward to it."

"I got a girl myself, but only since the last shore leave. Her name's Claire and...it's going well, I reckon. I know the other guys aren't into long-term things..."

"Yeah, that's true. I'm a lot happier with what I've got," Ennis told him, nodding. "I'm in love, big time."

Richard smiled. "Well, I can agree with you on that one." They looked at the TV, neither of them really watching but thinking. Ennis wondered if he should tell the truth, and if his friend would be angry at being lied to. Hopefully he would understand why he hadn't been honest.

He couldn't worry about that now; Jack was waiting for him at the end of this journey and he was trying to focus on that for now. It was all that mattered to him and everything else was irrelevant right now.

When Richard got up to get a drink, Ennis sneaked a look at his phone and opened up a photo of Jack, smiling at that beloved face he missed so much. Soon enough, he would get to hold that face in his hands and kiss those lips like he used to. He figured that they would spend his entire first night back just getting re-acquainted with each other and rolling around in Jack's bed. The thought put a smile on his face; he was looking forward to that game Jack had suggested.

He sighed and put his phone away, hoping that Jack knew he was thinking of him. He was certain that Jack did; he seemed to think of Ennis all the time. Ennis knew he was loved and that was enough to help him through these long months at sea.

* * *

That night, Ennis was lying in his bed and staring out of the window, trying to get to sleep. He was half-asleep already, starting to doze off as he listened to the waves around him.

_He took the stairs two at a time, eager to get up to the floor where Jack lived. It had been such a long time and he missed his lover so much that it ached. Just a few more seconds and he would see that face again._

_With a flutter in his chest, he knocked on the door and waited as he heard footsteps. The door opened and he grinned; Jack was standing there waiting for him, as he'd hoped._

"_Ennis!" he said, moving forward to wrap his arms around Ennis's neck and kissing him deeply. "Mmm..."_

_Ennis held him close and they managed to move inside, slamming the door behind them as they kissed. Jack broke away for air and Ennis cupped his cheeks._

"_Now that's what I call a welcome," he breathed, nuzzling Jack's nose. Jack smiled and pressed their foreheads together, clearly a little dazed by his own assault on Ennis's mouth._

"_Yeah. I was just so happy to see you...come here..." He kissed Ennis again, this time a little gentler. "I missed you so much..."_

_Without realising where they were going, they tumbled onto the sofa and Jack pulled Ennis down, kissing him fiercely and reaching for his buttons. Ennis helped him with that one, taking off his shirt and doing the same for Jack. He saw the lust in Jack's eyes and knew that Jack wanted him just as much as he wanted Jack. He didn't really understand why someone like Jack would be interested in him, but he could accept it. They loved each other deeply, after all. _

"_Jack," he whispered, starting to undo Jack's jeans. "I want you in my mouth...wanna suck you dry, you hear me?"_

_Jack grinned and nodded, allowing Ennis to carry on pulling his jeans down. "Alright, but you better get your pants off too. Not fair for you to ogle me when I can't do the same."_

_When they were both naked, Ennis moved down Jack's body while kissing his stomach, making him sigh. "Feel good?" he asked softly, nuzzling the dark patches of hair around Jack's navel._

"_Oh yeah," Jack breathed, eyes closed as his head rested against the arm of the sofa. "You're so good at this...come on, suck me off..."_

_Ennis smiled and got into position, widening Jack's legs slightly so that he had full access. He went to work, wrapping his mouth around Jack's leaking erection and drawing a moan out of him. "Ennis..." he sighed, grinning when he felt Ennis's finger move between his legs. He loved it when Ennis did this when he was giving him oral. "I swear, you drive me crazy..."_

_His lover couldn't reply verbally, but Jack felt Ennis's finger push into him and he groaned. It didn't take long before he was coming and Ennis was taking it all, thankfully remembering to swallow so he didn't choke._

_He collapsed onto the sofa, staring at the ceiling. "Oh God...that was amazing, Ennis. Welcome back..."_

_Ennis crawled back up to his face and smiled. "Good to be back. I missed you so much, Jack..." He stroked his lover's face and was rewarded with a purr. "You're so beautiful, Jack..."_

_He grabbed the afghan and draped it over them both, sinking down onto Jack's body and smiling. "Hey." They were both warm and cosy now after that._

"_Hey yourself," Jack replied, nuzzling his nose. "I love you..."_

"_Love you too..."_

Ennis woke up with a smile on his face; he loved dreaming of Jack and that had been wonderful. Their sex life was amazing, he could admit. But what he loved the most was just being with Jack and talking, or maybe kissing too. There was nothing better than when they were together.

He rubbed his tired face and realised he needed some water; his throat was dry and he wondered if it had anything to do with his dream. He silently got up and crept out of the room; the bathroom was just a few doors down and he wasn't likely to meet anyone along the way.

The corridors were silent as he walked along barefoot, and he splashed water on his face while he was in there. He looked up at himself in the mirror and noticed that his face was flushed. It was only now that he became aware of the stickiness in his boxers; his orgasm from his dream had been real. He blushed slightly even though he was alone and went to clean himself up.

Ennis often thought about what it might be like to meet Jack's parents. He already knew that they were accepting of the relationship even though Jack's mother sometimes worried for him. If he did meet them, Ennis would swear to them that he was going to look after Jack when he left the Navy. He would promise that he would never hurt Jack and knew that he could keep this kind of promise. He didn't think he could live with himself if he ever broke Jack's heart.

He knew that he would do anything to make Jack happy, even if that meant living away from his own family in Iowa. He just loved Jack too much to risk their relationship.

With a nod to himself, he headed back to bed and curled up again, smiling as he looked through the photos of Jack on his phone. He loved looking at Jack when they were apart, remembering how it felt to be with him.

Before he dropped off to sleep, his last thought was how it was going to be when he and Jack reunited. He knew that Jack would be very happy to see him and the feeling was mutual. Hopefully, the time between now and then would pass quickly and he would have Jack in his arms again.

* * *

_January 20th, 2010_

They were back out on the sea again, heading home at last. Ennis was looking forward to not only taking a break from work but also spending time with Jack. He thought of the rumour going around that they would only get a few days on land and he hoped that it wasn't true. He hated the thought that he would only spend a short time with Jack, and what if it was before or after their anniversary? They wouldn't get to spend it together and that thought made him miserable.

Ennis knew he should be grateful that he got to spend any time with Jack at all, and that nobody was demanding to know what he was up to. But it was hard to feel that way when all he wanted was to be with Jack all the time.

He left his cabin, having finished his work for the day and now changed, and decided to see if any of his friends were around. He didn't want to run into Mike again; the guy just irritated him even though he'd apologised for what happened at the Halloween party. He wondered if it might come to a point where they figured out that he was gay, and he dreaded that. But he knew that if he was sacked, he would have somewhere to go.

"Hey, Ennis," said a voice nearby as he walked along the corridor. It was Richard, who he got along with quite well. "I'm heading down to play cards with the guys. You wanna come?"

"Sure." He followed his friend through the corridors until they reached the room where a group of the others had gathered. After a while, he joined in with the card game and tried to distract himself from his loneliness.

"So, Ennis...you'll be seeing your girlfriend when you get back, right?" someone asked.

"Yeah. Looking forward to it," he replied, smiling. At least that part was true.

"Isn't it your anniversary? Maybe we could have a party and we could meet her,"

Ennis started to panic; there was no way that could happen. "I don't know...we kind of wanted to spend it alone, you know?" he said, hoping that they would get the message. He knew that he could easily ask Lureen to pose as his girlfriend and that would shut them up, but it wouldn't be fair to Jack if he did that. It was better to just lie and give Jack a false name rather than try to pass off their friend as "Jackie".

"Ah, I see," the same guy said knowingly with a wink. "You'll be busy celebrating on your own, right? Fair enough. But could we meet her sometime? We wanna know what she looks like."

Ennis squirmed uncomfortably. "Guys...I don't wanna talk about this. I hate people prying into my private life, you know? No offense."

There was a moment of silence before Richard spoke up. "No, that's fine. You don't have to tell us anything, Ennis. Don't worry about it." He clapped Ennis on the back and they carried on playing, but Ennis barely had his head in the game.

He kept wondering if he should tell them the truth; surely it would be better than all of this lying in the long run? He didn't think they'd get angry that he'd initially lied; they would surely understand his reasons. And maybe at least one of them was gay as well and going through the same problem; then he would have someone to relate to.

Ennis knew he wouldn't do anything without speaking to Jack first; he needed to know what he thought. If Jack advised him that it was a bad idea, then Ennis would continue to remain silent. He made sure that there was no way someone could find out the truth on their own. For one thing, they would have to be suspicious and he figured that his story of having a girlfriend would prevent this. Even if someone did think otherwise, his journal was kept hidden when he wasn't writing in it and his phone had a password. There was surely no way that someone could find out that he was seeing a guy.

When he'd had enough of the game, he excused himself and decided to head up to the deck. It was sunset by now and he leaned against the railing, watching as the bright reds and oranges of the sun disappeared over the deep blue water. It was a beautiful sight and reminded him of the photo he'd given Jack for his birthday. He wondered where Jack had put it and figured it might be in his bedroom, since Jack was quite a romantic. Ennis liked that side of him so much and it was rubbing off on him. He wanted to be romantic with Jack.

He knew that soon it would be Valentine's Day, and while he hated how they couldn't be together he knew that Jack would be thinking of him. He would be sure to text Jack or even call him if he could; so that Jack still felt loved even though they were miles apart. He would make up for his absence as best he could on the first night back before they moved on to enjoying their time together. Even if it was just a few days and not during their anniversary, Ennis was sure that they would enjoy it.

_I love you so much, Jack, _he thought as he looked out over the water. _I miss you every day and I can't wait to be with you again. One day, I'll be with you every day and all of this will be just a memory._

Ennis nodded to himself and headed back down into the ship, walking towards his cabin so that he could talk to Jack in privacy for a while. This daily correspondence was the only thing keeping him going when he missed Jack, and it was sure to hold them together even when apart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_Sunday, February 14th 2010_

_Dear Ennis,_

_I know that you won't see this letter for a while, but I wanted to write to you today. It's a special day for anyone who's in love and that's what we are. I want you to know that I still love you so much, even more than I did the last time we were together._

_I can't believe it's been nearly a year since we met, since it feels like a lot less with you being away so much. But I'm coping with that because I know we'll be back together soon. I hope you can be here for our anniversary but it's okay if you can't be. We can still celebrate and I know we'll still have fun._

_I hope you're getting a lot of rest, because you'll need your energy when you get back. I still want to have that little contest with you over how many times we can both come in one night, because I think it'll be a lot of fun and I can't wait to be with you. But I'm mostly looking forward to just sitting with you and talking, because you're my best friend and I love you so much._

_I really hope that one day you can meet my parents. They're looking forward to meeting you and seeing for themselves the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. Who knows; one day you could be their son-in-law. But I would like them to see why I wait for you all this time for just a few days before you go off again. I'm not sure they completely understand why I'm willing to be by myself for six months to spend a week or less with you, so I want them to see why. I know they'd love you, Ennis, if they met you._

_I keep thinking about the other guys on the ship and if you're doing okay with being around them. I know it's not easy for you but I really am proud of how you seem to be coping. Please make sure you're keeping your journal safe and your phone stays protected. I have to admit I was surprised when you told me what the password was; the street where I live and my birthdate. I honestly never expected that but it does make some kind of sense, since you're keeping secrets about me._

_I hate that you can't be truthful about who you are. Even without that law, you have no idea how the others would react. But I think it's fair to say that a lot of them wouldn't like it. They're bound to treat you differently, or talk about you behind your back. You don't need that, Ennis. You're a good man, so much better than them. Just keep your head up and remember how much I love you. We'll be back together before you know it._

_Take care, Ennis. Happy Valentine's Day._

_Love, Jack xxx _

Jack put his pen down and sighed; it was still early and he hadn't slept much because he was worried. He kept thinking about Ennis being surrounded by guys who could be homophobic, having no idea of what they might do if they found out who he was seeing. Jack had never wanted Ennis to get into any kind of trouble, especially not for him. He would rather have Ennis lie about him than get sacked. He wanted them to spend more time together, but not like this.

He wondered if Ennis would be able to make it back for their anniversary. He hoped that he would because Jack wanted to celebrate with him; maybe they would have a romantic dinner again or go on a date. But Jack knew deep down that it wouldn't matter in the long run; their anniversary would still happen even if they were apart and they would still make it past that milestone. That was something to think about.

He got up when he heard his phone ringing and saw it was Lureen. "Hey."

"Hi. I was just wondering if you felt like having a movie night tonight at my place. I'm single and you're pining; we shouldn't spend this whole day alone. It's not right."

Jack smiled. "That sounds great. I'll get popcorn and you can buy the wine."

"Sounds like a plan. Have you heard from Ennis yet?" she asked, and he sighed.

"No, but he could be busy. He said he'll call me when he gets the chance."

"Good. Hope you two can be together for your anniversary."

"So do I. Being apart on our birthdays and Christmas is one thing, but that date? It's horrible to think we might not be together for it."

"I know. So I think a cheesy rom-com is exactly what we both need tonight. Anyway, I've got some stuff to do so I'll see you later. Maybe you could come by about six?"

"Yeah, that's fine. See you then." He clicked off and smiled to himself; she sure knew how to cheer him up when he was missing Ennis. Maybe today wouldn't be a complete mess after all.

He wondered what Ennis was doing right now and if he was working or just in his cabin. He wished he could send Ennis something bigger than a letter, like some kind of present for this day. But that just wasn't possible right now with the circumstances.

Jack folded the letter and put it into the envelope, writing on the address and making sure it was with his keys for the next time he went out. He figured he might go for a walk in the park and sit on the bench he'd once shared with Ennis. That would be good. Either way, Jack knew that soon enough his lover would be back and he would be able to tell him what he wanted to; that Ennis was the love of his life and that would never change.

* * *

After breakfast, Jack decided to head out as he'd planned. He figured he'd take a walk in the park and try to distract himself from his loneliness. Seeing other couples outside wasn't going to be easy today, but at least he would speak with Ennis at some point and spend time with Lureen. He didn't have to be completely alone.

The weather was quite warm despite the month and the leaves were growing on the trees again after the winter. He would love to walk through here with Ennis again at some point, and maybe they would get time for that when he returned. There was still so much he wanted to do with Ennis and he knew that the feeling was mutual; he was always trying to come up with new ideas for them to enjoy each other.

As he walked, he spotted the bench where he and Ennis had sat the last time and smiled to himself, remembering that wonderful day. It had felt good to be outside with Ennis for a change even if they had to be careful because of Ennis's co-workers. Jack honestly didn't think that any of them would have been walking in the park anyway but he respected Ennis's need to keep things private when they were around other people.

Jack sometimes wondered if Ennis felt guilty about how they couldn't be affectionate in public, and it was something that he had tried to clear up during one of their phone calls.

"_I hope you know I'm not ashamed of you," Ennis told him, clearly worried that Jack did think this. Jack smiled to himself._

"_Of course I don't think that, Ennis," he reassured him. "I know you like keeping your love life private, not least because of how they might react if you told them. Let me ask you something; if you weren't in the Navy, if you were just living around here and we were seeing each other, how would you be in public then?"_

"_Jack...if that were the case of course things would be different. I'd hold your hand and kiss you and let everyone know how happy I am..."_

"_Then that's all I need to know. You only keep things platonic in public because you're scared of being seen by someone you know. I completely understand that and I don't hold it against you. Far from it, bud. I know how scary it is to think that someone could see you and report you, and that you might get the sack for it."_

"_So you really know I'm not ashamed?" Ennis asked, sounding hopeful. Jack wished he could hug him right now._

"_I know, baby. I really do. You don't have to worry about that because I know that's not how things are. I know you love me...and you sure make up for it when we're alone anyway. You can't seem to keep your hands off me," he said playfully. Ennis laughed._

"_That's 'cos you're so damn attractive," he replied, clearly in a better mood now. "Thanks, Jack."_

"_No problem, bud."_

Jack smiled at the memory; he really did understand why Ennis kept a slight distance when they were out together; he was simply afraid. Jack wished that Ennis had nothing to fear but unfortunately that wasn't going to happen. Even if the law was changed so that he could come out, Jack knew very well how Ennis's co-workers might react. A change in the law would not stop them from being homophobic and Jack hated knowing that truth. He shuddered at the thought of Ennis becoming a target for bullying just because of who he was.

He remembered when he was in high school, fully aware that he was into guys. There was a guy in his class who he knew was gay, and had also come out. Jack recalled the daily bullying that he was subjected to and was very glad that he himself wasn't out then. He didn't want Ennis to go through the same thing even though he very well might.

There was only one solution, even though he didn't like it; Ennis would have to continue lying and sneaking around so that he wasn't caught out by the others. Jack wished that Ennis could come out to at least one person who would understand; at least then he would have someone to talk to and that was important to Jack. He had Lureen and even his parents to speak to; Ennis got on well with his own parents but simply didn't talk to them much because he was so busy.

Jack thought of his idea to give Ennis a key to his apartment for their anniversary and he knew it would mean a lot to his lover. They would kind of be living together when Ennis was here and Jack figured it might be good practice for when Ennis left the Navy. He had no idea where they were going to live or when exactly Ennis would come home for good, but that was way into the future and he didn't have to worry about that right now. All he knew was that he loved Ennis and didn't want to lose him; that wouldn't happen as long as things went on going so well for them. Despite the long distance nature of their relationship, and the fear of Ennis being caught, they were happy together and he knew they had to remember that if they were going to get through this.

He sighed and looked around where he was sat; there were a few couples walking around, which made him slightly envious but mostly sad. He didn't know when he and Ennis were going to spend this day together, maybe a few years away yet. But Jack knew he didn't have the right to complain; he had known full well what he was getting himself into, and if he'd thought for a moment that he couldn't do this, then he wouldn't be doing it right now.

* * *

_February 20th, 2010_

On Saturday, Jack was at home watching TV. The last week had gone by quickly and he knew that in just over a month, Ennis would be coming back at last. He was looking forward to it more and more every day because each one brought Ennis closer to him. To say that he was looking forward to Ennis's first night back was an understatement; he couldn't wait to have Ennis in his bed again after so long.

He had more or less decided what he wanted them to do, depending on how much time they had. He knew he wanted them to take a bath together because he figured it would be very romantic with candles and wine, and he would like them to have a romantic dinner together too. They were the main things he wanted from this visit and he figured that Ennis would also want to do something in particular, possibly a date to the cinema where it was dark and nobody would see them making out at the back.

He grinned at this thought, not paying much attention to the TV. There was just something about Ennis that made Jack want to kiss him every time he was within sight, and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. He could only surmise that it was simply a case of how much he loved Ennis, which wasn't the hardest thing in the world to do. He'd found that it was very easy to love Ennis and that was just fine with him.

Jack wondered if they would have time for Ennis to meet his parents; as soon as Ennis could give him the date of his arrival and how long he had he would be able to figure it out; hopefully it could happen during this visit because Jack really did think his parents would like Ennis a lot. His lover could also prove to them that he was serious about Jack and that they were willing to go through this long-distance relationship for as long as they had to.

He remembered the night of Valentine's Day, and how he'd spoken to Ennis on the phone. He smiled when he thought about the words they had spoken to each other after he'd returned from Lureen's place; he would never forget hearing Ennis's voice in his ear, so soft and gentle.

"_Wish you could've been here. I thought about you all day and wanted to kiss you so much. I hoped that if I wished for it hard enough you would just appear._

"_I know, Jack. I'll hate having to go to bed tonight without you there to be with. Not just for the sex, but just to hold you and kiss you. I love holding you in my arms..."_

_Jack smiled fondly. "I love being in them. You make me feel safe, Ennis. Like nothing could ever hurt me as long as you're there. It's a great feeling, you know? Maybe one day I could hold you like that and you'll understand what I mean." _

"_Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I'd better get going. Gonna be dreaming of you tonight, Jack."_

"_I can live with that. See you soon, bud. Love you." Jack was still smiling, but his heart ached for Ennis every time he heard his voice._

"_Love you too." Ennis clicked off and Jack sighed, wishing more than ever that they could be together right now._

Jack got up and shook his head; he couldn't handle being here alone when Ennis was so far away and they couldn't spend this day together. Why did it have to be so hard for them? Why couldn't they have it easy like other couples? He wasn't thinking about the long distance, but more about how Ennis couldn't be honest about himself. Other couples took that for granted.

As he looked around, he decided to go and get his apartment key duplicated for Ennis; he didn't have any other way of spending his time today and he didn't want to be cooped up in the apartment all day. He switched the TV off and headed out, needing to get some fresh air and to distract himself from his loneliness.

He thought about Ennis's upcoming visit and how he might react to his gift, and deep down Jack knew it would mean a lot to him. Ennis had told him that he'd never expected to fall in love during his shore leave, and that was exactly what had happened. Jack knew that it wasn't easy for him to be working in the Navy anyway, not least because of the backlash he would face if he came out.

Jack reached the key cutting place and approached the girl working there, asking for her to duplicate his apartment key. She set to work and he sat down, reading a magazine and hoping that this wouldn't take long.

He flicked through, glancing at articles but mostly thinking about Ennis and their next reunion. He could tell that Ennis needed a break from the ship, considering how difficult it had been lately with people trying to pry into his business. Jack still hoped that Ennis could make at least one friend whom he could be honest with about their relationship; that would be great for him. Even if someone else on the ship was gay, as was likely, Jack trusted Ennis completely to stay faithful to him; Ennis had sworn that he would never break his heart and Jack believed him.

The key was eventually done and Jack paid the girl, and then left the shop with the new key in his pocket. He couldn't wait to see Ennis's face when he handed it over, because he knew how much this would mean to him. It would say a lot about their relationship if they took this huge step together, and that thought made him happy. It was okay for them to move forward like this now, because they were going to end up together.

* * *

That night, Jack was getting ready for bed and possibly another dream of Ennis. He dreamed of his lover most nights and he always loved doing that; it helped him to feel less lonely.

Jack sometimes wondered how on earth they could cope so well with being apart like this; he'd heard that long-distance relationships didn't usually work out, often because one of the people involved cheated on the other due to loneliness. But he had no desire to do this to Ennis or himself, and he knew that Ennis didn't want that either. Jack didn't feel jealous at the thought of Ennis making friends with other gay men, if he ever did on that ship, because he knew that Ennis only wanted to be with him.

He often thought about how well their relationship was going and how fast it was moving when they were together. But he'd always had the reasoning that if they had spent every day of the last year together, they would be in the same place that they were in right now. With that thinking, he wasn't so scared by how fast they were moving forward.

He got into bed and curled up, facing the side that Ennis slept in. He gently touched the pillow and wished that his lover's scent could still be there; it comforted him and Jack was convinced that it helped him get to sleep. But he did wish that he could have something to hold onto during the night that would make him think of Ennis.

Jack sighed and closed his eyes, hoping to see his lover in his dreams.

_He was sitting on the sofa with Ennis, kissing him deeply. Ennis had his arms around him and Jack felt so safe and loved; there was nothing else like this. "Mmm..."_

"_I love holding you," Ennis murmured in his ear, kissing his cheek. "I swear, Jack...I've never felt like this about anyone before."_

"_Me neither. I love you so much...and I wish you didn't have to go away again."_

"_So do I...but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I want to spend more time with you but it's not possible right now. So I've been thinking about when I'm going to quit the Navy."_

"_I thought you had a contract?" Jack asked, staring at him. _

"_Yeah, which runs out in six months. I have a choice to either carry on or leave. And I would be an idiot to stay on instead of being with you."_

_Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're really gonna leave?"_

"_Yep. After this next trip, I'm done. I'll come home to you and we'll start building a life together. How does that sound?"_

_Jack kissed him firmly on the mouth. "That sounds wonderful, Ennis. But I have to ask...where are we gonna live? You've got that place in Knoxville that your parents are minding, I live here and my parents are fairly close by. What do we do?"_

"_I haven't thought about that much. But we've got time for that, right? Maybe we could both move to somewhere between the two, you know?"_

_Jack shrugged. "That sounds fair. But it doesn't really matter to me where we live, as long as we're together." He smiled and felt Ennis's hand wandering down between their bodies. "You want something?" he mumbled into Ennis's mouth._

"_Mmm...maybe," came Ennis's muffled reply. Jack started to push Ennis backwards, down onto the sofa beneath them._

"_Two can play at that game," he grinned, eyes glittering. Ennis smirked._

"_You reckon?" Jack attacked his neck and he groaned. "Okay, you win..." He grinned when Jack started undoing his buttons and before he was fully aware of it, they were both naked and Jack was moving against him. "Jack..." he whispered, exploring Jack's muscles with his hands and making his lover squirm. "Oh, darlin'...you feel good..."_

"_So do you," Jack told him, nuzzling his neck. "Ennis...I wanna be inside you..." The words sent shivers down Ennis's spine and he nodded. He wanted to feel Jack inside him, to be part of him._

"_Sounds good to me." A bottle of lube appeared as if from nowhere and Jack reared up onto his knees, smiling down at the sight underneath him. _

"_Ennis...you're beautiful," he said softly, trailing a hand down the muscular chest and making Ennis smile. "I hope you know that..."_

"_I do now," Ennis replied, watching hungrily as Jack smoothed the lube over himself and started pushing between his legs. Ennis held on tightly as Jack moved inside him, trying to get into a comfortable position for both of them. "Oh, Jack...that feels good..."_

"_Gonna fuck you so hard you'll be walking funny for a week," Jack breathed in his ear, making Ennis even harder._

"_Do it," he whispered, eyes fixed on Jack's. "Fuck me." Jack leaned down and kissed him, ready to make good on his promise._

There was a clap of thunder and Jack jerked awake, blinking around in the darkness around him. He groaned when he realised that he was hard as a result of his dream; he hated waking up when he was so aroused. A glance at the clock told him it was almost two in the morning; there was no way he was going to get any sleep in this state, so there was only one solution. He was unable to get up so decided to do it here; he could easily change the sheets tomorrow.

With a picture of Ennis in his mind, he closed his eyes again and took hold of himself, imagining what the rest of his dream might have been like. He pictured himself moving inside Ennis and claiming him as his own, kissing as they moved together and whispering to him.

He finally relieved himself and curled up again, smiling with satisfaction as he thought of how soon Ennis would be back. The days were passing slowly but each one brought Ennis closer; that was something to be happy about.

* * *

_March 12th, 2010_

On Friday, Jack was just getting home from work when he became aware of his phone ringing. He closed the door behind him and looked at the screen; with a leap of his heart he saw that it was Ennis calling. "Hey bud," he said, heading to sit down. He'd already got the mail from downstairs and wanted to look through it as they talked.

"Hey, Jack. You sound a bit flustered; this a bad time?"

"No, I just got in from work. My phone was ringing as I opened the door. Good to hear your voice again." They hadn't verbally spoken for over a week and Jack missed hearing him.

"Yeah, been kinda busy but I've got time to talk now. Got some good news and bad news, if you wanna hear it."

Jack sat down on the sofa, balancing his phone on his shoulder as he looked through the mail. "What is it?"

"The good news is that I'll be back with you in three weeks," Ennis told him, and Jack grinned. That was less than a month away.

"Oh, Ennis...that's great! I can't wait to see you. But...what's the bad news?"

"Jack...I'm sorry, but we only get four days this time. I'll be there on the third and leaving again on the sixth..."

"You won't be here for our anniversary?" Jack asked, now holding the phone and feeling crestfallen. He'd wanted that so much, and now it wasn't going to happen. He'd dreamed of Ennis being here for their anniversary a number of times, wondering what it was going to be like. Not only that, but he'd also wanted Ennis to meet his parents and there simply wasn't enough time for that now. Every moment they spent together was precious and he didn't want to waste any of it when there was so little.

"I'm so sorry, Jack...I really wanted to be there. But I can't go asking them to change or extend it. Doesn't work like that. I hoped we could be together for it..."

Jack sank back against the sofa, fighting down the lump in his throat. There had now been several events that they hadn't been able to spend together. "Shit..."

"I know. But I promise we can still celebrate it when I'm there. And we'll still have been together for a year even though I'm not there on the day. We'll still have that, right?"

"Yeah..." he sighed. "It's just...I've never had an anniversary before so...I was really looking forward to it."

"Me too. I swear I'll make it up to you," Ennis promised, and Jack had to smile at how much Ennis cared about him.

"I know. I wanna have dinner with you one night, and maybe a date too if we can. Is there anything in particular you wanna do?"

"This might sound weird, but...I'd like to have a bath with you. Candles, wine...that kind of thing."

Jack smiled; that would make up for it a little bit. "That sounds romantic, Ennis. Maybe we could do that on your last night. Then you could take me to bed..." he finished, leaving the end of the sentence to Ennis's imagination.

"Sounds great. I can't wait to see you again, Jack."

"Me too. Have you had any more trouble lately?"

"No, but I've been talking to this guy, Richard. I haven't told him I'm gay but he seems nice enough. A lot better than Mike..."

Jack nodded. "Great. You ever think you'll tell him? I'd like if it there was someone you could talk to about me." He knew how scared Ennis was of someone finding out, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Not every straight guy was out to get them.

"I don't know yet...I don't really know him that well. But you never know...I might tell him one day. You're alright with me making friends with a guy, aren't you?"

Jack laughed a little. "Ennis...I completely trust you. I know that you love me and want to be with me. You said yourself you're not into one night stands and cheating, so I believe you. I want you to be able to talk about me, you know? I think it'd be good for you, like how I can talk to Lureen. Would you be jealous if she was a guy?"

"I don't know...maybe a little. But I trust you too, so it wouldn't be too bad. I just miss you so much..."

"I know, baby. But three weeks isn't a lot, right? You'll be back before we know it."

"That's true. I can't wait to be with you, Jack. I wanna hold you and kiss you...make love to you..." He trailed off, sounding wistful.

Jack grinned and got up to start making himself some dinner. "Ennis...that sounds perfect. I love you...and I've got a present for you."

"I bought you something in Hong Kong," Ennis informed him, sounding pleased with himself. "I think you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will. I, um...I had something made for you," Jack said, keeping it ambiguous.

"Really? That's...I don't know what to say."

"Well...I think you'll like my gift too." He cleared his throat. "Listen, I'm starving right now and I need to eat. Do you mind if I go now?"

"Not at all, Jack. You've gotta eat. Make sure you take care of yourself, you hear me?"

Jack smiled. "You're sweet, Ennis. I love you for that."

"I love you too, darlin'. I'll probably call again before we arrive, but I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah, you bet. Take care, Ennis. Bye." He clicked off and put his phone in his pocket, smiling at how Ennis was always so sweet to him. It was just one of the many things he loved about Ennis.

He glanced at the calendar as he made himself dinner; just another three weeks and Ennis would be back with him. He could hold on until then, he reckoned; their daily correspondence worked wonders for both of them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_April 3rd, 2010_

On Saturday, Jack was sitting on the sofa and eagerly awaiting Ennis's return. Six months was a long time and he couldn't wait to have Ennis back with him. He was keeping his ears peeled for any approaching footsteps outside his door, aching to see Ennis's face again.

He jumped when there was a knock at the door; Ennis must have gotten in by himself. Jack got up and opened the door; his heart leapt when he saw that beloved face once more. "Ennis..." he sighed, grinning. Ennis put his things down and pulled him close, not caring who might see.

"Darlin'..." he whispered, embracing Jack tightly and feeling lighter than he had in months. Neither of them was aware of someone watching them from the stairwell, eyes narrowed in dislike and suspicion. When they went inside, their observer disappeared from sight; Ennis had no idea that he'd been followed.

"How was the trip here from the port?" Jack asked as he turned to face his lover. Ennis shrugged; there wasn't much to tell about that.

"Long, I guess. Even more so because I knew you were waiting for me." He smiled and planted a kiss on Jack's lips, stroking his cheek. "Feels damn good to be back."

Jack grinned. "You're always welcome here, Ennis. You know that." He allowed Ennis to pull him close again, breathing in his scent. "Mmm..." This felt good, and he'd missed feeling like this.

"I missed you so much. It was hard to be without you at Christmas and New Year's...and now we can't even spend our anniversary together..."

"I know. But we still get to spend some time together, right? And you know I love you." He smiled at Ennis when they pulled apart. "Ennis...you remember what I told you, right? No matter what happens, I'll always be there for you. I won't ever let it get to a point where you've got nowhere to go, I promise."

Ennis nodded. "Thanks, Jack. I really appreciate it, bud. So...what's on the agenda for tonight?"

"Well..." Jack started, trailing a finger over Ennis's shirt. "I was thinking of a romantic dinner to celebrate you coming back, with candles and wine and everything. Then maybe we could put some music on and maybe...dance," he added, eyes sparkling. "And then...you know...we'll go to bed," he said simply, making Ennis smirk. That sounded good to him.

"To sleep?" he asked playfully, and Jack grinned.

"Not until I'm done with you for one night," he replied seductively, leaning in to kiss Ennis again. He loved it when Ennis held him tightly; he'd missed this so much. "Ennis...there's something I wanted to tell you. Nothing bad," he added quickly when he felt Ennis tense up. He pulled away and took Ennis's hand. "But I want you to hear it. Come here..." He led Ennis over to the sofa and they sat down, Ennis looking puzzled.

"What's up?" he asked, wondering what was on Jack's mind. He hadn't expected this just yet.

"The thing is...we've been together for nearly a year now. And even though we've only spent about two weeks actually together, if that, there's one thing that I'm very sure of. And I want you to know it." He sighed. "Ennis...you're the love of my life. I've never been in love before you but I know what I feel. I never thought I'd end up this happy, you know?"

Ennis felt a lump in his throat; he hadn't seen this one coming. "Jack...I...wow. You know what? I feel exactly the same, bud. You're the love of my life too." He smiled and squeezed Jack's hand, kissing him on the cheek. Jack exhaled in relief and Ennis could tell he'd been bursting to say that.

"I'm glad to get that out. I wanted to tell you when I saw you. So, um...I'll do the dinner later but...do you want anything now?" he offered, and Ennis shook his head. More than anything else, he wanted Jack in his arms because he'd missed him so much.

"No, I'm fine. Stay here..." He tugged Jack closer to him and kissed his neck, making him purr. "God, I missed you..."

"I know..." Jack turned to face him and leaned in, kissing him deeply. He draped his legs over Ennis's lap and felt a familiar heat starting to run through his body; he'd missed this close contact sorely. "Ennis..."

They looked at each other for a few seconds, and before they knew it their clothes were coming off. Ennis didn't even care about his uniform being strewn about; he simply pulled Jack closer as they desperately kissed. Jack shot up from the sofa, completely naked and leaving Ennis in a daze. "Hey!"

"Hang on," Jack called, and he was soon back with the lube in his hand. "I love you, but there's no way I'm taking it dry." Ennis took the tube as he sat down, having already decided on something.

"Who said you're taking it at all?" he asked softly, and Jack stared at him; Ennis hadn't bottomed at all during their time together yet.

"Ennis..." he started, wanting to know if he'd heard right. "Do you mean...?"

His lover nodded. "Yeah. I want it like that, Jack. If that's okay with you..." Jack nodded and kissed him again, and soon Ennis found himself on his back with Jack leaning over him. He was apprehensive, but he could trust Jack to take care of him in such a vulnerable position.

It started off slowly and it was painful at first, but Ennis had never felt like this in his life. Jack was careful and tender with him, which he appreciated. As they moved together, Ennis knew in his heart that he would always love Jack and that they could overcome anything.

"That was...wonderful," he sighed as they relaxed together afterwards. Jack nuzzled his neck and smiled at him.

"It sure was. I love you, Ennis...welcome back..."

"Good to be back," Ennis replied, kissing his forehead.

* * *

They had a romantic dinner together as planned, once Jack had managed to pry himself away from Ennis long enough. As they ate, Jack kept rubbing his foot along Ennis's leg and smiling at him. Ennis kept thinking about how it had felt to have Jack inside him and he knew that he was more in love than ever.

Afterwards, they started drinking wine on the sofa and Jack had a CD of love songs playing in the background. One of his favourites started playing and he grinned at Ennis. "Come on, I wanna dance with you." That was high up on his list for sure; he would love to dance with the man he loved.

Ennis bit his lip as they stood up together. "I should warn you, I don't have much experience..." Jack shrugged and got them into position. He could feel Ennis's heart beating against his body and smiled; this was perfect.

"I don't care," he said softly, putting his arms around Ennis's neck and feeling his lover pull him close. "I just wanna do this..." They started swaying to the music, heads pressed together. He could tell that Ennis wasn't very confident with dancing, but that didn't bother him. It was the thought that counted.

_I wanna call the stars_

_Down from the sky_

_I wanna live a day_

_That never dies_

_I wanna change the world_

_Only for you_

_All the impossible_

_I wanna do_

Ennis squeezed Jack a little and heard him purr slightly. He was a lot happier now than he had been over the last six months, now that he was back with Jack. This was where he belonged and he knew that. When his contract was over, in eighteen months, he would leave and then return to Jack for good. He knew that Jack was looking forward to that day for sure; they both were.

_I wanna hold you close_

_Under the rain_

_I wanna kiss your smile_

_And feel the pain_

_I know what's beautiful_

_Looking at you_

_In a world of lies_

_You are the truth_

Jack sighed as he felt Ennis rub his back; this was pure bliss and he'd longed for this moment for what felt like years. There was no telling what the future might hold for them, but Jack was certain that they would have a future together. There was so much that he wanted to have with Ennis. A home, possibly getting married and maybe even children somehow. The kind of life he'd always wanted.

_And baby_

_Every time you touch me_

_I become a hero_

_I'll make you safe_

_No matter where you are_

_And bring you_

_Everything you ask for_

_Nothing is above me_

_I'm shining like a candle in the dark_

_When you tell me that you love me_

Both of them felt as if the other was the missing part of themselves; as if they had only been half a person before meeting each other and falling in love. Neither of them knew why they felt so complete right now, but they couldn't deny it.

"You're my soul mate," Jack whispered in Ennis's ear, kissing his cheek as they moved slowly. Ennis smiled at him and kissed him on the lips, feeling warm and relaxed. There was nowhere else in the world that he would rather be right now; this was home to him, where Jack was.

_I wanna make you see_

_Just what I was_

_Show you the loneliness_

_And what it does_

_You walked into my life_

_To stop my tears_

_Everything's easy now_

_I have you here_

It was true; before meeting each other they had both been a little uncertain of their futures. Ennis had had no plans beyond the Navy and Jack was still trying to find something that he wanted to do with his life. Now, they had each other and were more certain that everything was going to work out for them. They had plans and a possible future, which they still needed to talk about over the next few days. But there was time for that.

_And baby_

_Every time you touch me_

_I become a hero_

_I'll make you safe_

_No matter where you are_

_And bring you_

_Everything you ask for_

_Nothing is above me_

_I'm shining like a candle in the dark_

_When you tell me that you love me_

Ennis knew he would do absolutely anything for Jack that he could, no matter what it was. But the one thing he couldn't give Jack yet was the thing he knew Jack wanted the most; to be with him every day. He sorely wished he could give Jack that.

_In a world without you_

_I would always hunger_

_All I need is your love to make me stronger_

"I love you," he murmured in Jack's ear. "And you're my soul mate too, you know." Jack smiled and pulled him closer, keeping his eyes closed to savour the moment. He knew that Ennis wished he could give him that one thing that just wasn't possible right now. He didn't blame Ennis for that; it wasn't his fault.

_And baby_

_Every time you touch me_

_I become a hero_

_I'll make you safe_

_No matter where you are_

_And bring you_

_Everything you ask for_

_Nothing is above me_

_I'm shining like a candle in the dark_

_When you tell me that you love me_

_You love me_

_When you tell me that you love me_

The song finished and they stopped dancing, Jack smiling widely at Ennis. "I enjoyed that...really romantic." Ennis nodded.

"Yeah, sure was..." He kissed Jack softly and noticed the time. "Jack...you ready to go to bed?" he asked, knowing that he sounded hopeful. Jack grinned.

"Think I might be. I'll lock up and put the wine back in the fridge. You get yourself comfortable in my bed; how's that sound?"

"Sounds good to me," Ennis replied, and they went their separate ways to prepare for the night ahead.

* * *

_April 4th, 2010_

On Sunday, Ennis and Jack decided to stay inside for a change. They were still tired from the previous night; their contest had taken place and Jack had lost by just one point, so he'd received his just punishment and was in no mood to complain about it. Afterwards, they had held each other and talked until they'd dropped off, which hadn't taken long after that marathon.

Both of them were aware that they grew closer all the time, even when they were apart. Their first anniversary was approaching and even though they couldn't be together for it, both of them were still looking forward to it. This was a huge deal for both of them and they knew that they would have many more to come in the future.

That was one thing that Jack wanted to talk about today; for as long as they had been together they hadn't spoken much about the future. Eighteen months was a long time, but they both knew that they had to have a serious talk at some point.

The afternoon found them on the sofa together, curled up and watching TV while occasionally kissing and squeezing hands. Ennis sighed and nuzzled his lover's hair. "Jack..."

"Hmm?"

"I reckon we oughta have that talk at some point. You know...about us." Jack looked up at him and nodded, resigned.

"Yeah, you're right. Been together a year, but we've never really...not seriously, anyway." He sat up and faced Ennis. "So...?"

"Well, you know my contract ends in eighteen months. I know it's a long time but it seems to me I should have plans for that. And I would love it if those plans could include you because...I don't wanna lose you, ever."

Jack smiled slightly. "I don't wanna lose you either, Ennis. So yeah...we need to talk about that. I reckon...one of the things we should talk about is where we're gonna live. Here, your place or somewhere new."

"I won't ask you to leave here if you can't do it," Ennis told him gently, taking his hand. "I know it's a huge deal to just up and leave. I would be happy to move here, unless a job opportunity came up in Knoxville or something."

Jack nodded. "Sounds fair. It would be hard to leave this place because I've never lived anywhere else. But if I had you with me it might be easier, you know?"

"Right. But until that day, I'm happy to stay here when I'm on shore leave. I have to wonder, though...when you offered a place to stay did you mean...that I'm kind of moving in with you?" They looked at each other for several moments before Jack was able to speak.

"Well...I didn't mean that at the time. But now you mention it...does kind of sound like that, doesn't it? I mean, it's for a week at the most every six months so I never really...but I guess it's like that, isn't it? You have kind of moved in with me." He wondered why he'd never realised it before, but he honestly didn't feel scared by the whole thing. As a matter of fact, he loved the idea of Ennis having moved in with him.

Ennis smiled. "I like the sound of that. You know, my thinking's always been...where would we be right now if we'd spent every day together? We probably would have moved in together by now, right?"

"I guess so. I love you so much and I'm sure it'll work out, so...yeah, probably," Jack agreed, nodding. "And that's good logic. Makes the whole thing easier to deal with and less scary. I think you're right." He took a deep breath. "Ennis, I...I wanna give you your present now, if that's okay."

"Sure, I'll get mine too." Ennis watched as Jack got up and went to retrieve his own gift from his bag in the bedroom; he was sure that Jack would like it. He'd done the best he could, anyway, to give something special to Jack for their anniversary.

They met back on the sofa and Jack held out the key. "Here. It's a key to the apartment. I had mine duplicated for you so that when you're here and I have to work...you can stay here. You don't have to spend the morning or afternoon wandering around town if you'd rather stay put." He smiled at the astonished look on Ennis's face.

"Jack...I don't know what to say..." He took the key and they kissed, feeling as though another milestone had been crossed. "Thank you, but...mine isn't nearly as good as that..."

Jack looked at him. "I'm sure I'll like it," he replied, opening up the package. He looked at the ornamental heart curiously. "What do these symbols mean?"

"It's Chinese for 'I love you'," Ennis told him softly, watching a smile form on Jack's face. "Got it from a street trader in Hong Kong. You like it?"

"I love it," Jack told him, kissing him again. "It's beautiful. I'll hang it up in my room later. Thank you, Ennis." He hugged him tightly, feeling as if he was falling in love more and more every day.

"You're welcome, darlin'. Just glad I can make you happy."

"You do make me happy," Jack told him firmly, looking into his eyes. "You do now and you will when we're together every day; I know it. I love you so much..."

"I love you too." They kissed again and Ennis held Jack close, feeling pleased with the way that had gone. He sometimes worried that this was going too well; that something was going to happen to put strain on their relationship. But he couldn't think about that too much when Jack was in his arms like this, happy and content. All he could do was focus on this because it was what his heart wanted; to be with Jack and make him happy. They would be fine as long as they had each other.

* * *

That night, Ennis and Jack were in bed together and kissing heavily, looking forward to another night of lovemaking. Since they had only one full day left together, they had agreed to make every moment count. This included having sex whenever the opportunity arose because they wanted to remember how they made each other feel. Jack knew he'd be walking funny for a week after this but he didn't care; the pain would just remind him of being with Ennis and that was a good thing.

"God, you're beautiful," Ennis breathed in his ear, legs sliding against Jack's. They were both hard but Ennis was teasing Jack slightly, knowing exactly what he wanted. He heard Jack whimper in response.

"Please, Ennis...fuck me...I need you..."

"You want me to fuck you hard?" Ennis asked, biting his neck. Jack groaned.

"Come on, just do it..."

Ennis grabbed the lube and smoothed it over himself, seeing the hungry look in Jack's eyes. It still humbled him to know that Jack wanted him, out of all the people he could have. He might never understand why Jack had chosen him, but he was very glad for it anyway.

When he was ready, he widened Jack's legs and leaned over him, smiling softly. "Just relax, darlin'," he instructed, always fearful of hurting Jack too much. Jack nodded and gasped when he felt Ennis pushing into him.

"Oh God...every single time it feels so fucking good," he groaned, tilting his head back. Ennis worked his way inside, nuzzling Jack's neck to help him relax.

When he was fully inside and they were tightly pressed together, he watched Jack open his eyes and smiled. "You feel okay?"

"Feels great, like it always does," Jack told him, wrapping his legs around Ennis's waist. "Come on, sailor. I want a headboard mark on my wall from this."

Ennis grinned and leaned down, bracing his hands on the bed while letting Jack hold onto him for dear life. He started moving into his lover and immediately he saw the change overcome Jack's face. The blue eyes had closed and Jack's mouth fell open in bliss; Ennis loved watching that and knowing that he was the one causing it. He kept moving, drinking in the sounds coming from Jack's mouth and kissing his neck.

"I love you," he breathed in Jack's ear, rocking his hips steadily and thrusting deeper every time. Jack moaned, holding on tight.

"I love you too...touch me, please..." Ennis did as he was asked and took hold of Jack with one hand, knowing how much Jack loved being touched by him everywhere. Ennis knew that Jack must trust him immensely to allow such intimacy, and he also knew that he trusted Jack just as much. There was nothing better than being able to take down his barriers in front of someone else; he knew that Jack would never judge him for anything. This was the one place in his life right now where he didn't have to pretend or lie; Jack knew everything and that was a relief for him.

Jack groaned under his touch, and soon Ennis felt ribbons of sticky fluid hit his stomach. Jack's muscles were clamping and his hips were bucking against Ennis, which triggered Ennis's own climax. He shot deep into Jack while biting his lip and they collapsed together, out of breath.

They lay there for a while, unable to move but just stroking each other's faces. Ennis kissed the tip of Jack's nose and heard a soft laugh escape from him. "I love hearing you laugh, darlin'..."

Jack smiled up at him, eyes full of love and trust. "Ennis...I'm gonna miss you when you go away again, but every time you do I've got new memories to keep me going. That's a great thing and it helps me to get through six months without you. So I enjoy every minute that you're here because it helps me so much. I love having new memories of you."

Ennis nodded and finally pulled out of him, sighing in contentment and falling down to his side of the bed. "Damn...but you wear me out. I'm still knackered from last night. How many times did we come?"

"Um...I think you were on ten and I managed nine before we couldn't move anymore. But then you still gave me a good seeing-to later when we got our breath back."

"You said the loser had to be punished," Ennis pointed out, and they both laughed. "I need to use your bathroom..."

"Sure." Jack watched him go with a smile on his face, but this faded slightly when he realised how time was running short. He needed to do something. He crept out of bed and went to Ennis's bag; he felt bad for stealing from his lover but he was desperate; he'd give it back one day. Jack pulled out a white shirt from the bag, after making sure it wasn't the one from Ennis's uniform; he just wanted a regular one that Ennis wouldn't think too much of if it went missing.

He breathed in Ennis's scent from the shirt and stuffed it into his bedside cabinet for now; that would help when he was alone and wanted to remember his lover. He got back into bed and became aware of Ennis returning. "Mmm...hey," he said when Ennis kissed his shoulder. Ennis spooned up behind him and pulled him close; Jack felt pure happiness running through him at the warm contact.

"Hey yourself. You tired?" asked Ennis in a soft voice which was like music to Jack's ears. He loved how Ennis could make his toes curl and yet still be so tender when the moment called for it. He'd never thought that he could be this happy with someone.

"Yeah, a bit..." He turned his face to kiss Ennis one last time. "Love you."

"Love you too." Ennis settled down behind him and rubbed his stomach. "Night, Jack."

Jack smiled, burrowing backwards into the embrace. "Night, Ennis."

* * *

_April 6th, 2010_

On Tuesday, Ennis was leaving again. He was dreading having to leave Jack again even though he had always known that this was going to happen. He wished that his contract could finish sooner so that he could come back sooner, but there wasn't much chance of that happening.

The night before, they'd tried to soak up every part of each other to help with the loneliness that was coming; they wanted to remember their last time together for the next six months; it was the perfect way of saying goodbye.

He finished packing his bag on the bed and looked around; he was certain that he was missing a shirt but couldn't find it anywhere. It didn't bother him too much; it was only a plain shirt that wouldn't make any difference if he'd misplaced it. Jack was in the kitchen making him a sandwich for the journey to the port, which he appreciated. But he hated how they were on borrowed time.

Ennis sighed and became aware of a wrapped sandwich being placed on the bed in front of him, then he felt a pair of arms around his waist. "Hey..."

"Hey," Jack replied in a quiet voice. "Made you a cheese and tomato; I know you like that." Ennis smiled and covered Jack's arms with his own.

"Thanks, darlin'. I sure as hell wish I could stay longer. If there wasn't a contract I would."

Jack nodded. "I know. But we'll cope, Ennis. We have to, because it's the only thing we can do right now. I'm gonna miss you..."

"Me too..." Ennis turned around to face him, cupping Jack's face in his hands. He knew that Jack liked it when he did that. "Jack...I love you so much and I'll think of you every day. Can't think of a better way to pass the time when we're apart."

"I know," Jack replied with a smile. "Listen...if you ever do want to tell Richard the truth I'm sure it'll be okay. He sounds like a decent guy, from what you've told me."

Ennis rested his arms on Jack's shoulders. "He is, but...I've got no idea how he'll react and I hate that. It's not right, being scared to tell someone who we are. Shouldn't be like that."

Jack sighed and kissed him. "You're right. But you'll never know if you don't try. So it's worth thinking about. Life's all about taking risks, right?"

"Yeah..." Ennis pulled Jack close and hugged him tightly. "How'd I manage to land someone so smart, huh?"

Jack grinned and kissed his neck. "Because I was smart enough to fall in love with you." Ennis felt a lump grow in his throat and Jack sensed that he was feeling emotional. "Ennis..."

"Gonna miss you," he choked out, and Jack closed his eyes. He tried to ignore the prickling in them as the emotional moment got to him, but he couldn't help it; he didn't want Ennis to go.

"Ennis...I hope the next eighteen months go quickly so that you can come back for good." Ennis squeezed him.

"So do I, Jack. But just think...in a few days we'll have been together for a whole year. That's something to be happy about, right?"

"Yeah, it is," Jack admitted. "Never had that before. Wish you could come back, even for just that one night." Ennis pulled away and stroked his cheeks.

"Jack...I've never wanted you for just one night. You're worth so much more than that." Jack couldn't fight the tears any longer; he let them fall and Ennis wiped them away with his thumbs. "Hey...come on..."

"I can't help it," Jack replied, trembling slightly. "I just...I wish you didn't have to go. Four days, Ennis...not even that, really. For our anniversary too...I hate this." Ennis made Jack meet his eyes.

"I do too, Jack. But we're going in circles with this. We won't get anywhere if we keep this up; it's only making you upset and I'm not far behind. Shh..." He kissed Jack again and stroked his face. "Just remember how much I love you."

Jack nodded, trying to remain strong. "I know, Ennis. I love you too and...I always will." He managed to smile and wiped his eyes. "So...when do you have to leave?" Ennis looked at his watch, and his heart sank when he realised the time.

"About fifteen minutes," he replied, and then looked deep into Jack's eyes. "Jack...I love you and we'll be back together soon. I want to be with you when all of this is over, every day. Who knows? One day we might even get married."

Jack grinned. "I'd like that, one day. I can see myself marrying you." Ennis nodded and they kissed as firmly as they could to seal this promise.

All too soon, it was time for Ennis to go; Jack was trying to remain strong so that Ennis wouldn't feel guilty, but it was hard. He walked his lover to the front door and Ennis kissed his cheek. "Take care, Jack."

"Yeah, you too. Speak soon, yeah?" He looked hopefully into Ennis's eyes, and Ennis nodded.

"Of course, bud." He looked at Jack one last time and then went through the door, not noticing the figure on the stairwell that was again watching them, who vanished when Ennis started walking away from the door.

Jack closed the door behind him and turned around, looking around the once more empty apartment. He felt his heart ache for the man who had just left, and sank down to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his knees and felt fresh tears leaking, unable to stop them. He hated being apart from Ennis for so long and he hated how they couldn't be together for their anniversary. Why did it have to be so hard for them?

Outside, Ennis looked up at Jack's window and silently vowed to him that everything was going to be alright. One day, this would just be a memory.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_Monday, April 19th 2010_

_Dear Jack,_

_I know it hasn't been long since I left but I wanted to write to you anyway. I miss you a lot already and I keep looking forward to the day when I'll be back with you. The only thing I want right now is to have you in my arms, comforting you because I know it hits you really hard when I leave. I think maybe my Navy training made me a little tougher but it still hurts me to leave you, especially after just four days when it's close to our anniversary._

_There's something going on here, something really weird. When I got back to the ship I ran into Mike and at first I thought he was going to greet me because we get on alright now, but it was strange. He looked at me and I didn't like the look on his face. It's as though he knows something and is plotting to use it. The only thing I can think of is that he might know about us but that can't be true; we were so careful, even with our cinema date. I don't understand how he might have found out._

_Anyway, I'm trying not to think about it. We're heading for Sydney, Australia this time, which should be interesting. I hear it's a beautiful area and I can't wait to see it. But it still looks like I'll be away for six months, which never gets any easier. I just feel like part of me is missing; the part I left in Florida with you. Call me an old romantic, or cheesy, but it feels like part of my heart's been left behind. _

_I've been thinking about what you said; about telling Richard the truth. You're right in thinking that he's a decent guy and I think he might be okay with it, but to be honest I'm very wary of giving any details about my private life. Even if he's okay with me being gay, he might not want to hear anything about it. The whole point of me telling someone is so that I can talk to them about you, but what if he doesn't want to know? So I haven't decided yet. _

_I enjoyed talking to you on our anniversary, but I still wish I could have been there to kiss you, and take you to bed so we could celebrate in the best way possible. Hopefully next year I'll be there for the actual day and we can do that._

_Always remember that I love you, Jack. I know it's not easy for us to be apart but I want you to know that I love you more than anything else. You're the most important person in my life and that will never change. Take care of yourself, bud, and try to keep your chin up when we're apart. I'll be back one day, and I love you. Just remember that._

_Love, Ennis xxx _

Ennis sighed and put his pen down, thinking. He had to admit that he was worried. Every time he saw Mike, the latter would smirk at him as if he knew something that would get him into trouble. The only thing he could think of was if Mike knew about Jack, but that couldn't be possible. They had been so careful in public.

Maybe Mike had been following him, but for that he would have to be suspicious in the first place. Nobody but him knew about the journal and he kept his phone with him all the time, with a password in place. He didn't understand why Mike would follow him out of the blue like that, unless he'd just been curious about the mysterious "girlfriend" of Ennis's.

Ennis hoped that he was wrong; that Mike hadn't seen anything. What if Mike was planning to blackmail him for some reason? If they happened to be up for a promotion that only one of them could get, for example, then surely Mike would use whatever he had to force Ennis into backing out of it. In that case, Ennis wouldn't mind stepping back if it kept Mike's mouth shut. He would do anything to protect what he and Jack had.

He put the letter in the addressed envelope and sighed to himself, hoping that nothing bad was about to happen. He also hoped that if the truth got out, Jack wouldn't think that it was his fault. What if Jack thought that he blamed him, especially if he got the sack? He tried to reassure Jack that it wouldn't be like that but he knew how Jack thought. For all the confidence Jack tried to show, Ennis knew that he could be very vulnerable and sometimes needed taking care of. He loved knowing that Jack trusted him enough to let him in when he needed help, but he hated to see Jack hurting and hoped that he was never the cause of it.

He sat down on his bed and looked through the photos of Jack on his phone; it did help to know that he could look at Jack any time he wanted and that was certainly a good thing when he felt lonely. He'd sometimes considered asking Jack to have phone sex with him, but that would be very risky because someone could walk in on him in a compromising situation.

As for his dreams, he sometimes worried about calling out Jack's name in his sleep. But his cabin mate hadn't treated him any differently so he figured that even if he had, the other guy had been asleep too and hadn't heard a thing. He knew he was very lucky to be sharing a cabin with a heavy sleeper.

All Ennis could do was keep wary of Mike and just try to get through the next six months. Maybe the next time he would be able to get back for Jack's birthday and they could spend it together; that was something to feel optimistic about.

* * *

After he'd finished the letter, Ennis left his cabin and went to hand it in for posting. He kept hoping that nobody was going to see him with it, especially Mike because he was suspicious of what he might know. Ennis wasn't sure what to think about the way Mike looked at him, as if he was biding his time. He would rather get it out in the open already.

He often wondered if he really should tell Richard the truth about himself; he was the only person on the ship that Ennis felt he could trust right now. He knew that some of the guys would either hit him or make fun of him if he told them that he was gay, but he had a feeling that Richard wouldn't do that. He really needed to talk to someone about Jack and what they were going through; Richard said he was seeing someone in the city too so he was bound to understand how it felt, even though he was seeing a woman.

"_I think it's probably for the best," Jack told him on the phone one night. "You obviously want to trust him with this and if you believe that you can..."_

"_I really do," Ennis replied. "God knows I need someone to talk to, like you've got Lureen..."_

He sighed as he slowly walked along the corridor, thinking about what Jack had said. It was worth a try, after all. And the worst thing that could happen was that Richard simply didn't want anything more to do with him, he reckoned. At least he probably wouldn't go telling everyone.

He rounded a corner and spotted the man himself texting on his phone. "Richard!"

"Hey, Ennis," he replied, glancing up. "Just sending a message to Claire, letting her know I love her. Do you do that with Jackie?"

"Uh, yeah," Ennis told him, nodding. "Every day, actually. And we talk when we get the chance. Sometimes I reckon it's the only thing keeping us going."

"I know what you mean," Richard replied, putting his phone away. "Anyway...what's up?"

"There's something I need to talk to you about," Ennis said in a rush, deciding to throw caution to the wind. "Can we get out of sight?"

"Sure." They walked into an empty room and sat down. "What's going on?"

"I've...been lying to you," Ennis admitted, terrified of what was going to happen. "I'm not seeing a woman called Jackie."

Richard looked puzzled. "Okay...did you break up?"

"No, I never was seeing her; she doesn't exist. I made her up to cover the truth," Ennis explained.

"Which is...?"

"I'm seeing...a guy. His name's Jack. That's who I've been spending shore leave with since last year. We've just had our first anniversary."

Richard looked shocked; he didn't say anything for a moment, but then sighed. "Well, um...I wasn't expecting that, I've gotta admit. I mean, I never would have thought..."

"I know," Ennis replied, nodding. "I've known for a long time that I'm gay, but I've never really had a relationship with a guy before. I've been terrified to tell anyone because of that law."

"I can understand that," Richard told him. "Well...so you're gay. Fair enough..."

"You're not pissed at me?" Ennis asked, feeling confused. "I mean, not just for the lying, but..."

"You thought I'd kick off? Ennis...I'm not like that and you know it. I'd never do that just because of who someone is. My brother's gay."

"Oh," Ennis said, feeling as if he'd made a horrible judgement about this man who was clearly still his friend. "I didn't..."

Richard smirked. "And that's exactly why I didn't know that you're gay. We never asked each other. It's none of my business who you're sleeping with, so...I'm wondering why you're telling me now."

Ennis shrugged. "I miss Jack a lot, and I'm too scared to start talking about him in front of the others. We get on well so I thought I could trust you with it. He's got a female friend there that he talks to about me, and...I wanted that too. If you're not okay with talking about it, that's fine. I just..."

"Hang on," Richard cut him off, holding his hand up. "I never said that. It's a surprise, but...you're still who you were before. It's not like you've suddenly changed, after all. I'm still your friend, Ennis. I just don't wanna know about your sex life, but then I'd say that about anyone. It's a private thing. But I'm okay with hearing about this Jack guy in general. I know what it's like to miss someone."

Ennis finally managed to smile. "Well...thank you. I never thought I'd ever be able to talk about him. That damn law..."

"I know...that can't be easy. So...what's he like, then?"

"Well...he's the most dependable person I've ever met. And...he's just a great guy. It's going really well for us. He gave me a key to his place for when he's working while I'm around."

"Wow...that sounds like you're really moving forward. You said you've just had your first anniversary, but you haven't spent that much time together, have you?"

"Not really, but our thinking has always been about where we would be if we had spent every day together. We probably would be living together by now, maybe even...engaged," he added softly, and Richard smiled.

"Is that what you want?" he asked, and Ennis shrugged.

"One day, maybe. But I know it's not legal in Florida yet, might never be. But it is in Iowa where my apartment is."

"So if you get engaged, if you want it to be legal then Jack would have to move in with you," Richard pointed out. "That's a tall order, Ennis. You'd be asking a hell of a lot."

He sighed. "I know, and the thing is there's only eighteen months left in my contract. I'm leaving after that and nothing is certain. But I know one thing...I wanna be with him no matter what."

* * *

_April 25th, 2010_

On Sunday, Ennis was sat up on the deck during his break, enjoying the warm weather as they headed south. He was feeling great at the moment; he'd spoken to Jack on the phone last night, Richard knew the truth and was supportive of him, and he hadn't been approached by Mike for any reason. He had a nagging feeling that things were going too well right now, but he tried to shake it off. There was just no way that Mike could know about Jack; the corridor had been clear when he'd spoken to Richard and they would have heard footsteps if they'd been overheard.

He still missed Jack so much, even though talking about him did help a little. He would always wish that their time at sea didn't have to be so long, so that he could come back sooner and spend more time with Jack. He thought about his lover all the time and knew that Jack thought of him.

He was just thinking about texting Jack when he sensed someone near him; he turned to see Mike looking at him, arms folded. "I want a word with you." There was something about his demeanour that Ennis didn't like.

Ennis felt alarm bells going off in his head and he sat up; he'd been expecting an ambush for a while now but he wasn't really prepared for it. "Okay...what's going on?"

"You tell me. Or were you busy? Texting your boyfriend?" Mike asked, and Ennis's eyes widened. _How the hell does he know?_

"What...?" he asked, trying not to panic.

"Don't bother denying it. I know about you and that guy you've been seeing in Jacksonville. I hate it when people lie."

Ennis stood up, trying to stay calm. "How did you know?"

"I got suspicious as to why we never see any photos of your girlfriend, why you didn't say much. You said it was because you don't like people prying, but then I got to thinking. You seem really secretive, holed up in your cabin all the time, keeping your phone with you so that nobody can see what's on there. I wondered why you were doing that so I followed you on the last shore leave. I saw you with that guy at his front door. You were hugging him in a way that told me everything. Didn't take a genius to figure it out."

Ennis kept his fists clenched; he so wanted to punch this guy for doing this. He knew he had to try and resist; starting a fight would only get him into trouble and he didn't want that. "So what? It's none of your business."

"It is now," Mike told him, smirking. "I bet the other guys wouldn't like it if they knew you're that way. One of them beat up a gay guy and got away with it due to lack of evidence. He's real proud of it." Mike smirked in a horrible way.

Ennis started to become fearful, but he knew he couldn't let it show. That was probably exactly what Mike wanted, and he knew that Jack would want him to stand his ground. "What do you want from me? What's stopping you from telling them if you've known ever since the start of the month?"

Mike paused before speaking again. "I did think about telling them, but then I decided I could use this for myself."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you ought to know it's not easy to be away for so long. Gets to a point where your balls are ready to burst. I've got girls in every port but it can get to be too much. And...sometimes I just wanna get off."

Ennis's brow furrowed; what was he getting at? "Why are you telling me this? What's that got to do with anything?"

Mike stepped closer, and Ennis backed away. "Here's the deal. I'll keep my mouth shut, if you do me a favour."

"What kind of favour?" Ennis asked warily.

"Think about what I just told you," Mike said in a dark tone, and Ennis's mouth fell open. Surely he couldn't mean what it sounded like.

"Are you crazy? I thought you were straight!"

"I'm not keen on labels. Besides, this is just about sex, nothing else. I get to a point where I don't care where I stick it." His eyes were dark and Ennis felt like a trapped animal. He had nowhere to run now; sooner or later he would find himself cornered and then what?

"Mike...you can't be serious. I can't do that!"

"You can if you wanna keep your job. Put in some time with me and I won't say anything."

Ennis couldn't believe what he was hearing. If he agreed, that would mean cheating on Jack and breaking his heart; the one thing he'd sworn not to do. If he refused, Mike would out him to everyone and he would lose his job. He didn't know what to say. "I..."

"I'm a fair man," Mike went on. "I know you're probably thinking which is worse; cheating on your boyfriend or losing your job. I'm not expecting an answer right now. You know we're heading for Sydney next. You've got until the day we leave to decide. That's about three months away, right?"

Ennis nodded, not knowing at all what he was going to do. "Mike...don't make me do this. I promised Jack I'd never hurt him, and there's no way I could do what you're asking and not tell him." He would never forgive himself if he hurt Jack, even if Jack himself did. He'd promised never to hurt him.

Mike shrugged. "It's up to you, Ennis. Have an answer by the time we leave Sydney, or I'll tell everyone anyway." He walked away, and Ennis sank back down into the chair. He stared out at the ocean around him, his mind whirring and unable to settle on anything. Now he had no idea what to do.

* * *

After a while, Ennis left the deck and started walking through the corridors, not knowing at all what he was going to do. He didn't want to lose his job, but there was just no way he could cheat on Jack; he would always hate himself he did that just to keep his job.

He found himself walking in the direction of Richard's cabin, hoping that he was there. Richard had told him that he could come and talk to him at any time if he needed to, because he understood how important it was for Ennis to have a friend on board.

When he knocked on the door, Richard answered and immediately saw that something wasn't right. "What's going on?" he asked, seeing the look on Ennis's face. "What's happened?"

"Can we talk?" Ennis asked him, and he was allowed inside. He turned to Richard, folding his arms. "Mike knows about me and Jack."

Richard looked taken aback. "Mike, the annoying guy from the Halloween party?"

"Yep. He got suspicious as to why I never showed any photos of my girlfriend, and why I was so secretive. So on the last shore leave he followed me to Jack's apartment and saw us together."

"Shit," Richard breathed, and they both sat down. "So what's he saying to you? Is he gonna tell everyone?"

Ennis bit his lip. "He says he'll keep quiet, but only if...I..." He couldn't go on, but Richard got the message.

"Oh God...that's horrible. That's blackmail, that is. He can't be allowed to get away with that."

"I know, but I don't know what to do. Either I cheat on Jack or risk losing my job..."

"Are you seriously weighing up your options?" Richard asked in disbelief. "Your relationship is way more important than your job, Ennis. You can always find another job; will you ever find another Jack?"

Ennis stared at him and realised that he was right; there was no comparison. He could live without a job in the Navy, but he couldn't live without Jack. There was no question what he had to choose.

"You're right...I can't do what he's asking me to do. But you know what? I'm not gonna back down either and let him tell everyone. There has to be a way I can keep my job without cheating on Jack."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but...I'll think of something. Maybe I can find something to blackmail him with; beat him at his own game."

Richard sighed. "I can understand the appeal...but do you really wanna stoop down to his level?"

Ennis bit his lip. "I don't know. I need to think about it." He stood up and made for the door.

"Ennis? There's something you definitely should do," Richard called after him, and he paused. "You should tell Jack what's going on."

Deep down, Ennis knew he was right; Jack deserved to know what was happening. He just hoped that Jack believed he wasn't tempted to give in. "What am I gonna say? It'll hurt him anyway...even if I reassure him that I won't do it, will he still doubt me?" He didn't want to think of Jack worrying whether or not he had done it; what would he see in Jack's eyes the next time they met? Disappointment, anger...but mostly hurt. He just couldn't do it.

"Not if he loves you enough," Richard told him, clapping him on the shoulder. "From what you've told me, you guys seem to have something really special. If he trusts you, then that's all you need to know. You have to tell him, Ennis; it's only fair."

"Yeah. Anyway, I'd better get going. I need to think about what I'm gonna say...see you later." He left the cabin and started heading down the corridor again, hand in his pocket where his phone was. He just didn't know what he could say to Jack that would reassure him of his faithfulness. Jack did trust him, but this was about his job. It was important to him and he wanted to keep doing it while still having Jack in his life.

Ennis returned to his own cabin and sat on his bed, thinking it over. There just had to be a way in which he could keep his job without hurting Jack, if only it would come to him. He wasn't above blackmailing someone himself if it meant keeping everything the way it was now; he didn't really want to stoop to Mike's level but maybe he had no choice. He just couldn't cheat on Jack, not even if Jack told him it was okay because Ennis would never believe him.

He wondered if the other guys knew about Mike's tendency to go after other guys when there were no women around; surely they would start thinking that Mike was gay and then what? Perhaps he would become a target instead. He could tell the other guys that Mike had approached him, of course leaving out the real reason. But Ennis realised that his heart wasn't in it; he just wasn't like that and there was no way he could do it. If he did, Mike would probably tell everyone anyway.

He knew he had to tell Jack, regardless of whatever else he decided to do. All he could do was reassure Jack that he wasn't going to give in and just hope that Jack believed him. He knew that he would be able to think better if he just talked to Jack about it and got some advice; Jack was the one person who could talk him down from doing anything stupid, to get him to think things through before doing anything.

Ennis lay down and stared at the wall, trying to go over in his mind what he was going to say. He knew that Jack would give him a chance to explain everything properly and he would hopefully have some advice; Ennis didn't know what he would do if that didn't work out.

* * *

_May 10th, 2010_

It was a Monday, and Ennis had realised that he could no longer put off his conversation with Jack. They would normally have spoken by now and he knew that Jack might be worrying as to why he hadn't called. Even just replying to Jack's texts had been hard enough to do; what would Jack think of this?

He was sat on his bed during his break when he saw another text from Jack, and his heart ached.

_Are you okay? Tell me you are xxx_

Ennis sighed and resigned himself to the inevitable; he didn't want Jack to worry about him. He called the number and waited.

"Ennis?" asked a hopeful voice, and a lump formed in his throat.

"Hey, darlin'. Sorry I haven't called sooner..."

"What's going on? Were you just busy?"

"No...something happened. You remember that guy Mike, from the Halloween party?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"He...got suspicious about me being so secretive, not showing photos of my girlfriend and stuff. So...on the last shore leave, he followed me to your apartment and saw us together. He knows about us, Jack."

"Oh God...has he approached you about it?" Jack asked, sounding fearful.

"Yeah. But that's not the worst thing, Jack...he's blackmailed me."

"What? How?"

"Shit, Jack...you're not gonna like it..."

"Ennis, please. Just tell me."

"Well..." Ennis started, feeling scared to death over how Jack would take it. "He said he'll keep quiet about it...if I...do him favours."

"What kind of favours?" Jack asked, and Ennis wished that it didn't have to be true.

"Jack..." he said. "Doesn't take a genius to figure it out..."

"You mean...? Oh God, Ennis! He's asking you to...have...?"

"Yeah, he is. He said he's mostly into women but wouldn't turn down the opportunity to be with a man if there was no other option. I swear, he's...well, crazy."

"So...what did you say?" Jack asked, and Ennis could hear the fear in his voice.

"He said I've got until the time we leave Sydney to give an answer. But, Jack...I can't do it. I just can't cheat on you...no matter what the reason."

"So if you tell him no, he'll tell everyone you're gay," Jack filled in for himself. "So it's me or your job. Shit, Ennis...I never wanted this. I never wanted you to choose between me and your career."

"I know, Jack. But there's no way I'm cheating on you. And you know...even if you say it's okay to do it so I can keep my job, I won't listen because I know your heart won't be in it and..."

"Ennis, calm down. I'm not gonna say it's okay, because we both know it's not. But we do need to think about what you're gonna do. Your options are to either go along with it and cheat on me, or refuse and risk losing your job, right?"

"Yeah. That's why I didn't call sooner; it was two weeks ago, Jack. I just didn't know what you were going to say. I thought...that even if I reassured you I wasn't going to do it, that you might doubt me. I thought that the next time we see each other, you'd wonder what I'd been up to. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you, Jack."

"Ennis..." Jack sighed. "I trust you completely. I know you don't want to hurt me and if you say you're not gonna go through with it, I believe you. But what _are_ you going to do?"

"I don't know. At first I thought about blackmailing him, telling the others about what he's up to. But...I don't think I could do it, to be honest."

"You're a better man than that, Ennis," Jack told him. "And I'm glad you're not gonna do that. But you know...there is another option that you might not have thought of."

"What's that?" Ennis asked; he couldn't think of anything else and wondered what Jack had in mind.

"Telling the captain," he said simply.

"Oh, Jack...I don't know...that might not do any good. That involves telling him I'm gay..."

"Well, if you say no to Mike he's gonna find out anyway," Jack reminded him. "So...at least this way it's on your terms."

"Yeah, but what good would it do?" Ennis asked.

"Ennis, that's obvious. This isn't just blackmail; it's sexual harassment! He can't be allowed to get away with it and I'm sure the captain won't like it if he finds out. He's the only one who can do anything. You never know; he might be supportive of gay people or even gay himself. I'm sure that if you talk to him...he might be able to force Mike to keep his mouth shut."

The idea did make sense, but Ennis was wary of coming out to anyone right now. "I don't know, Jack...it's a huge thing and a lot to think about."

"Ennis, I don't think you have a choice. At least this way, you won't have to cheat and you could probably keep your job."

"But what about that law? Don't Ask, Don't Tell? If it gets out...what if I get sacked anyway?"

"Then I'll be here for you," Jack promised in a soothing voice. "No matter what happens, you will never be alone, I swear. I already told you; you can stay with me if you get kicked out and I'll take care of you while you adjust to it."

Ennis felt the lump in his throat growing and wondered how he'd managed to find someone like this. He just couldn't do something that would hurt Jack. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Ennis. Give some thought about talking to the captain, and try not to worry. You said you're talking to Richard and that he's okay with you being gay, so talk to him too. You know where I am if you need me, baby."

Ennis smiled at this, vowing that he would at least try to sort this. "Okay. I'll call you again soon, I promise. Bye, Jack."

"Bye, Ennis."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_Thursday, May 20th 2010_

_It's been ten days now since Ennis called me with that horrible news. I still can't believe that someone would do that and I hope it gets cleared up soon. I know it must be hard for Ennis, feeling as though he's trapped and will lose something either way. I've never wanted him to choose between me and his job but this is exactly what will happen if he doesn't talk to the captain._

_We spoke yesterday and he still hasn't decided what to do; he's running out of time and we both know it. They'll be in Sydney next month and then he will have to decide which to choose. If he doesn't, Mike will tell the other guys anyway and then what? I've heard horrible stories about what happens to gay men when they're found out in the armed forces; they certainly don't get a quiet dismissal. If only that law didn't exist._

_I keep wondering whether or not to find out the phone number for his parents in Iowa, to ask them what they would do if Ennis was kicked out. I know his dad was in Vietnam so he might actually be ashamed if Ennis was dismissed, even though it's not his fault. But I don't want to do anything behind Ennis's back; that's not fair._

_I trust him completely; I know he doesn't want to give in to Mike and I believe that he won't. He actually thought I would doubt his fidelity because of this, even if nothing had happened. But he assured me that there was no way he was going to cheat on me, and I believe him for that. I know we miss each other a whole lot when he's away, but that doesn't mean we can't control ourselves. I know he won't cheat on me; he loves me._

_I'm glad he can talk to Richard about all of this, someone who understands what life is like on that ship and what they might be able to do to make Mike back off. I hope they come up with something, but I think it would be best for Ennis to talk to the captain about it. He's the only one who can do anything concrete and I hope Ennis realises that._

_The other day, I told Lureen about all of this and she thinks the same as me; we both know that talking to the captain is the only way for Ennis to save his job without being unfaithful and that's what we both want. I'll keep trying to convince him of this until he agrees because I know it's the only way._

_I hope everything works out okay; I couldn't bear to think what might happen if Ennis is forced to leave. He hates being away from me but I know he loves the job, so maybe there's a chance to keep things as they are. Either way, I'll be there for him no matter what._

Jack sighed and put his pen down, thinking over what he'd just written. He sometimes felt as if he was going in circles; Ennis didn't want to cheat but also didn't want to lose his job. Jack was convinced that the only way for this was for him to tell the captain what was going on; surely he was the only person who could decide on a solution. Maybe he could threaten Mike to keep his mouth shut or lose his own job. But Jack worried about the repercussions of that; what if Mike got angry and told everyone anyway?

There were still seventeen months left of Ennis's contract, and Jack knew that they would drag because of how much they missed each other. Jack knew that Ennis needed him right now and it hurt that he couldn't be there for the man he loved. He just didn't know what to do; Ennis wouldn't be back until October and that was a long time away.

He closed his journal and picked up his phone, thinking. He worried about how Ennis was coping and was glad that he at least had a friend on board; Jack wanted to meet Richard for himself and thank him for being Ennis's friend. He also wanted to meet Mike and perhaps give him a black eye for daring to do this to his lover, even though he knew that Ennis would probably hold him back so as to avoid trouble.

Jack started typing a text and wondered what Ennis was doing right now; it was almost lunchtime and he knew that Ennis would be on a break right now.

_Love you, hope you're okay xxx_

There wasn't much else he could say right now; he wanted Ennis to know that he was there for him if he needed to talk, but there was nothing else he could really do. He hated being unable to help Ennis properly from so many miles away and he wished he could do something. Ennis was a good man and didn't deserve to be going through this.

Jack had sometimes felt guilty for what was going on; if not for him then nobody on the ship would know that Ennis was gay. But he had tried to take the blame and Ennis had been having none of it.

"_It's not your fault," Ennis said firmly. "I don't wanna hear you talking like that, Jack. I don't blame you for it. This is all Mike's doing and he's the one to blame. Jack...don't do this to yourself."_

As a result, he had tried not to put the blame on himself. It was a constant struggle, especially when Ennis sounded so scared about what was going to happen, but he reminded himself that Ennis still needed him. He couldn't go having himself a pity party when Ennis needed him to be strong. If Ennis was sacked, he would have to be there for him. There was just no way he could break down now.

* * *

A little later, there was a knock at the door and he opened it to find Lureen. "Hey," she said with a smile, holding up a bag of bagels. "Thought you might be hungry so I picked these up after my shift just now."

Jack smiled back and let her in. "Thanks, Lureen. I'm sure glad to see you."

"Have you heard from Ennis lately?" she asked, removing her jacket. He nodded.

"Yeah, we spoke last night. He's still not sure whether or not to go to the captain."

"Why? It's surely the only way to deal with this..." she asked, folding her arms.

"It is, and deep down I think he knows that. But he's so scared of how the captain might react to it; this whole thing has really shaken him and he's terrified to tell anyone that he's gay."

Lureen sighed and brought the bagels to the kitchen area, helping herself to the cheese and cold cuts in the fridge. Jack was actually glad that she was looking after him; he hadn't eaten much in the past week because of his worrying. "In a way, I can understand him. He thought that if he kept his head down and just got on with his job, then everything would be okay and he could fulfil his contract before coming home to you. It always knocks people sideways when their plans are ruined because they usually didn't plan for it."

"I know...and I hate that Mike guy for what he's doing. I wish it didn't have to be like this, you know? It's that damn law..."

"Yeah..." She turned to face him. "If...he is asked to leave, what then? Will he move in with you or go back to his apartment?"

"That depends on his parents. They might be ashamed if he's given a dishonourable discharge," Jack pointed out. "And...if he is sacked it'll just break him. I'm the one who'll have to pick up the pieces of him afterwards and put him back on his feet while he adjusts. I love him so much, Lureen...and I hate the thought of him being forced to leave. We've got our own plans, you know? He'll fulfil his contract and then come back, like you just said. We haven't made any concrete plans for the future or anything..."

"Maybe not, but surely you know what you want?" she asked as they sat down with their lunch. He shrugged.

"Yeah...we're gonna move in together, maybe here or in Iowa at his place. And after that...I don't know. Same-sex marriage isn't legal here..."

"It is in Iowa," she told him with a smile. "I know it's not right that you would have to move states if you wanted to get married, but it's the only way right now while people are so backwards about it. I really hope you guys get married one day; you're a great match and I know you love each other."

Jack smiled at her. "Yeah, we do. It gets hard, being without him for so long. You know what I mean," he added when he caught her smirk. "I mean...I miss him all the time and everything here reminds me of him because of the time he's spent here. Listen, you can't say anything, but...I took one of his shirts the last time he was here."

"You did?" she asked in surprise, and he nodded.

"Yeah. I just...he went to the bathroom and it was our last night together, so...it was an impulse. I just wanted to have something of his that I could hold on to. I've been sleeping with it," he admitted. "It does kind of help because it still smells of him and...I'm sure it helps me sleep."

Lureen sighed. "Sounds like you've really got it bad for him," she said, and he nodded.

"I really do. That's why I want him to go to the captain and tell him what's happening. It's the only way to fix this, but even then it could have repercussions. What if Mike decides to get revenge by telling everyone anyway?"

"Then we'll just have to wait and see what happens," Lureen replied, covering his hand with her own. "Jack...if Ennis is sacked he will need you more than ever. If his parents won't let him go back to his apartment except to get his stuff, then he'll have nowhere else to go if you don't step up. You have to be there for him, Jack."

"I know, and I don't mind that. Hell, I _want_ to be there for him whenever he needs me. I know that if it were me going through what he is, there's no way he would let me deal with it on my own. He would be there for me, so that's what I have to do for him. I just hope...that it never gets to a point where I have to do that. I want things to go as we planned, so I hope that he goes to the captain before the time's up."

"Yeah. That guy surely can't be allowed to get away with this; it's not right. Not just blackmail, but sexual harassment too."

"That's what I said. There's no way the captain will stand for that on his ship and I'm sure he'll be okay with Ennis being gay. Deciding on whether someone stays or is sacked is up to him, so he'll find out anyway at some point. But you know what hurts me the most?" he asked, looking up at her. "It's that I can't be there for Ennis right now. I want to hold him and tell him that it's going to be alright. I want him to feel safe again because...both of us only feel truly safe when we're together." He felt a lump in his throat and looked down, only dimly aware of Lureen moving around the table to hug him. He wished that everything was going to be okay, but there was just no guarantee of that.

* * *

_June 3rd, 2010_

On Thursday, Jack was just making dinner for himself when his phone rang on the worktop; he'd gotten into the habit of keeping it close all the time just in case Ennis called him with news. He hoped that something had been sorted out and that it didn't involve Ennis giving in to Mike; Jack knew it would hurt a lot if Ennis was forced to cheat on him. What if it ruined their relationship as a result?

He picked his phone up and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the name. "Ennis?"

"Hey, bud. Finally got some time by myself to talk to you. How're you doing?"

"I'm fine, but...what's going on over there? Have you decided on anything?"

"Not really. I talk to Richard about it but he doesn't have any ideas either, except one."

"What's that?" Jack asked, sitting at the table. He heard Ennis sigh.

"Talking to the captain, like you said," he replied in a low voice, and Jack nodded to himself.

"Well, maybe there's something in that. I honestly think it's the best thing you can do."

"I know, but...it means coming out to someone else and the way I'm feeling right now..."

"Ennis," Jack sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I know that the whole thing has left you feeling shaken up, but that's no reason to hide away. What choice do you have? It's the only way to get this sorted and we both know it."

"Yeah, but...what if he has to sack me because of the law, knowing that I'm gay?" Ennis asked fearfully, and Jack sorely wished he could hug him.

"Even if it comes to that...at least you'll know that you tried and you won't be left wondering what might have happened if you did. If you don't at least try...you'll be kicking yourself afterwards."

"Alright...but what if I do it and he tells Mike to keep quiet, and then Mike gets pissed at me for grassing him up and tells everyone anyway?"

Jack sighed. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Ennis...it's a possibility. But all I can say is that you won't be alone in this. I'll be here for you when you get back and I'll help you. Even if, God forbid, you get depression because of it, I'll be right there to help you get better, I promise."

"You'd do that for me?" Ennis asked, sounding taken aback.

"Of course I would. I'd do anything for you, Ennis. I just...I don't ever want to see you suffer. You'll never be alone in this, you hear me?"

"So if...I tell the captain and somehow I end up leaving sooner than I thought, you'll be there?" Ennis asked him, and Jack smiled.

"I will, I promise. I love you, Ennis."

"Shit, Jack...I don't know what to say except...I love you too. That you'd do all that just for me, it's just...nobody's ever loved me like that before. Unconditionally, no matter what. Would you still love me even if I were to give in to Mike?"

Jack bit his lip; this was a tricky one and he would prefer not to think about it, but Ennis probably needed to know anyway. "Well...it wouldn't be easy. But at least I would understand the circumstances. It's not as if you'd be messing around on purpose, behind my back. It would just be to keep your job. I reckon we'd make it anyway, Ennis. Just wouldn't be easy, you know?"

"Right. But I'm not gonna do it anyway. It would still hurt you and I swore never to do that to you. So that's just how it is."

"Good. But I still say you should talk to the captain, Ennis. I know it might backfire but you have to at least try. You never know, it might work out."

Ennis didn't reply for a moment but Jack could tell he was thinking it over, and waited patiently. "You know what?" he finally said. "You're right. I've got a lot to lose, but...at least I know I won't lose you. That's the important thing, right?"

"Yep. I'm not going anywhere, Ennis. You'll always have a home as long you've got me, understand?"

"I do, Jack. Thank you for helping me out with this whole thing. I'll do something for you when I get back, something to pay you back for all of this support."

Jack smiled. "Well...I'm only doing what any decent partner would do, but you're welcome."

"Partner?" Ennis asked, sounding puzzled. "I thought that word only applied if the two people lived together? I mean, I only live with you for a few days before I'm off again..."

"It still counts, I reckon," Jack reasoned. "You'll be living with me when you leave anyway, wherever it is. So...we're more or less partners now, right?"

"Yeah, I guess we are," Ennis replied in a soft voice, and Jack could tell he was smiling. "Anyway...you're right. I should talk to the captain and at least try to get this sorted. I know I'll regret it if I don't. And if it all backfires...I've still got you."

"Thank God," Jack breathed, pleased by Ennis's decision. "I'm glad to hear you agree to this, Ennis. I thought you wouldn't; that you'd just stand by and let Mike ruin your career."

"There's one thing you have to know, Jack. I know you don't want me to choose between you and your job, but if I had to...I'd choose you without thinking. I can find another job no problem, but I'll never find anyone like you."

Jack grinned and felt his heart soar; Ennis sure did know how to say the right thing when it was needed. "Well...that's good to know. Good luck with it, Ennis."

"Thanks, bud. Love you, and we'll speak soon."

"Yep, love you too. Bye." He clicked off and sighed in relief; at least Ennis was willing to try and get help from the captain. That was something to be happy about.

* * *

That night, Jack was in bed and trying to get to sleep. It wasn't easy at the moment, since he was so worried about Ennis, but he knew he had to keep his strength up because Ennis would probably need him soon. At least Ennis was fully aware that his plan could backfire; Jack hated to think what might have happened if it did and he hadn't warned Ennis beforehand. What if he ended up blaming Jack because he didn't tell him?

As it was, Jack was certain that no matter what happened, they would be okay. Ennis had told him that their relationship was the most stable thing in his life now; the only thing he could put his trust in. The thought made Jack realise that Ennis was counting on him to be there, and he had to step up because he loved Ennis.

He curled up, holding Ennis's shirt close to his chest. It still smelt of Ennis and it was a comforting thought; almost as if Ennis was here with him. It would certainly do until Ennis was here for real, which was still a long time away. Even if Ennis was asked to leave the Navy, he still wouldn't come back until the ship returned in October. Either way, it was still a long time.

Jack sighed to himself and breathed in the familiar scent from the shirt; he remembered it so well from Ennis's last visit. He could remember the times that Ennis's body had been pressed against his, either during sex or after, when they showed each other how they felt. There was just no better way.

_He opened the door to see Ennis standing there, looking lost and forlorn. "They kicked me out," he said as soon Jack saw him. "Told me to leave...I...and my parents don't wanna know either...my dad said not to show my face around there again..."_

_Jack sighed. "Oh, baby...come here..." He pulled Ennis inside and hugged him tightly, feeling how much he was trembling. "Shh...it's okay...I'm here..."_

"_I don't know what to do," Ennis choked out, holding onto him. "I...I've got nowhere else to go and I need you..."_

"_I'm right here," Jack repeated, rubbing his back. "Come on, calm down..." He pulled his face away and cupped Ennis's cheeks. "You'll be okay, Ennis. I'll never let you deal with this alone, you hear me? I'm here for you."_

_He kissed Ennis gently, intending for it to be just a kiss of comfort. But Ennis pulled him closer, and Jack could sense he was desperate. "Ennis?" he asked when he was finally let go. Ennis's eyes were a little glassy, which made his heart ache to make him feel better._

"_Jack, I...I wanna...I mean..."_

"_You want me to make it better?" he asked softly, squeezing his lover's hands. Ennis nodded._

"_Yeah. At least for a little while, as a distraction. Can we?" He looked into Jack's eyes, almost pleading with him. Jack nodded and smiled._

"_Sure. Come on."_

_Within a few minutes they were in the bedroom and under the covers; Jack looked down at Ennis and stroked his cheek. "Are you sure? I mean...are you up to it? You don't look so good..." He didn't want to make Ennis think that they had to if he wasn't capable right now._

"_Jack...I need to. When they sacked me I was alone and you weren't there and..." He gulped. "I missed you so much and...I want you to do this now."_

_Jack nodded and smeared some lube over himself before starting to push in, taking it slowly so as to not hurt Ennis too much. He understood that his lover was feeling vulnerable but at least Ennis wanted him to do this; he would never take advantage. He saw the look of pain briefly cross Ennis's face before he relaxed. "Shh...it's okay..."_

_Ennis managed to smile up at him and gave a nod; their familiar signal. Jack started moving inside him, taking it slowly and pressing gentle kisses to Ennis's neck. He knew how Ennis was feeling right now, so it was up to him to take the pain away, if only briefly. Ennis reached out for him and Jack held him close, whispering in his ear that everything was going to be okay._

_Afterwards, Jack was lying on his chest and wiping the fresh tears from his eyes. "Didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked, and Ennis shook his head._

"_No, it's not that...I just...I'm damn happy to have you with me, Jack. It's gonna be so hard to adjust now...never thought it would be."_

"_I know, baby," he replied, kissing him softly. "But I'm here, and I'm never going away. I promise, Ennis...you'll always have me."_

Jack woke up and shook his head, thinking over what he'd just dreamed. His worries about Ennis were crossing into his unconscious mind now and entering his dreams; that was surely a sign of how worried he was and he didn't like to think of it coming true. What if it did?

He thought about the dream; they'd never had comfort sex before, where it was just about making each other feel better like that. He could recall the emotion he'd felt while trying to show Ennis that he was there, and he wondered if it would become a reality. If Ennis was told to leave and his parents didn't want him around, he would certainly need something like what the dream had contained. Jack silently vowed that he would do absolutely anything that Ennis needed, even if it didn't really work to lift his mood.

Jack sighed and turned over, facing the spot that Ennis slept in. He reached his arm across the empty space, remembering what it had been like when Ennis was there. One day, they would spend every night in the same bed and would wake up together the next morning. That was the dream he clung on to when things got difficult; one day it would all be over and they would have their future together.

* * *

_June 15th, 2010_

On Tuesday, Jack was walking through the park by himself and thinking about his dream from the other night. It was clear to him that there was the possibility of it coming true, especially if Mike got angry about Ennis going to the captain. But maybe it would be alright; surely if the captain had a word with him then Mike would back down in order to keep his own job. Jack didn't see how it was worth it since Ennis would be leaving in just over a year; what would be the point of causing trouble for him?

He didn't understand how someone could be so heartless like this; Mike clearly didn't care about how much he and Ennis loved each other, or how it might affect Ennis if everyone else found out that he was gay. Jack still wanted to meet this guy and make him pay for doing this to Ennis; he was feeling fiercely protective of Ennis at the moment even though they were miles apart. He hated the thought of Ennis feeling vulnerable and open to such abuse; he shuddered every time he thought about what might have happened if Ennis had given in.

But he tried not to think about that; Ennis wasn't going to cheat on him and that eased his mind. But he still felt slightly guilty about being the reason behind all of this; Ennis could still be risking his job by going to the captain and he hoped that the dream he'd had wasn't going to be reality.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he sat down on a bench and he looked at it; his mother was calling. "Hey, Mom."

"Hey, honey. I wanted to know how you are; you haven't called for a while."

"Yeah...I got kind of caught up in something," he replied; the situation with Ennis had driven everything else out of his mind. "Ennis is having a bit of trouble with one of his co-workers..."

"I hope it's nothing too bad," she said, and he sighed.

"It is. The guy knows about him being with me and he's threatening to tell everyone. Ennis is gonna go to the captain to see if he can get some support." He decided not to tell her about how Mike was blackmailing Ennis; she didn't need to know about that. It was hard enough for him to wrap his head around.

"That's terrible, Jack. I hope the captain has some sense about him."

"So do we. But there's the chance that this guy's gonna get annoyed by Ennis grassing him up. He could tell everyone anyway out of spite."

"If that's the case, he should be sacked," his mother replied. Jack grinned; he loved how his parents had accepted Ennis even though they had never met him. He also knew that Ennis's parents wanted to meet him one day, but that wasn't on the radar just yet because of how far away they were.

"Yeah, I agree with you on that one."

"Jack, we were wondering...Ennis is back in October, right?"

"Yep. Don't have the dates yet, though. He won't know until they leave Sydney and are on their way back. Why?"

"Well, your dad and I would like to meet him, if he has the time. I mean, it's been a year for you two now and you never know...one day he could be our son-in-law."

Jack smiled; he did like the sound of that. Maybe one day they could get married, but he knew it would only be legal if they moved to a state that allowed it. That was something to think about when planning where to live. "Well, I know he wants to meet you guys too. I did hear once that shore leave can last up to two weeks, so maybe we'll get that this time. If we do then I'm sure we can arrange to have dinner or something."

"Sounds good, honey. So we'll either come to your place or you can bring Ennis to us. It's up to you two. But we would like to cook for you and him, you know. We can do a big roast or something."

Jack smiled. "I think we'd both enjoy that. You know...I'm really happy that you've accepted him, even though you've never met him. It means a lot to me and I know it wasn't easy at first because of the long distance..."

"Well, not really. I worry for you, Jack; I'm your mother so I always will. But you said you were certain about Ennis and we believe you. Maybe if we meet him it'll ease our minds. We know you love him, Jack."

"I really do, Mom. You know, we're gonna move in together when he leaves the Navy next year. Don't know where we're gonna live yet, but I might be moving. Depends on how things go. I told you about his apartment in Knoxville that his parents are looking after."

"Yeah, you did. And it's okay if you want to move, Jack. We're certainly not going to make you stay if you want to move; it's your life and your decision. You have to follow your heart, Jack."

He nodded to himself, knowing that she was making a lot of sense. He could always count on her to do that. "Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, the next time Ennis calls I'll tell him about your invitation. I bet it'll cheer him up."

"Good. Give our best to him as well. Bye, honey."

"Bye." He clicked off and sat back on the bench, looking up into the sky. He missed Ennis every moment of every day that they were apart, and he was trying to focus on how each month that passed brought them closer to being together for good. It was the only thing helping to cure his loneliness, at least for a while. Just another sixteen months, and Ennis would be back with him for good and they could start planning their new life together.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_Wednesday, June 30th 2010_

_I've got the cabin door locked as I'm writing this; I keep thinking that Mike's going to come barging in at any moment and catch me writing. He could easily steal it and go showing it to everyone before I could blink, and that just can't happen. _

_I know I need to go and talk to the captain at some point, and I will. But I'm still scared of what could happen if I do. He could decide to let me go when we get back to the States. And even if he doesn't, Mike will get angry that I grassed him up and he could out me anyway. I don't know what to do right now, but I know for sure that I will not be giving in to him. I love Jack too much to risk what we've got, even for my job. _

_I talk to Richard now and then, and he keeps on at me to go and talk to the captain too. I'm glad I've got someone to talk to here who accepts me and is willing to hear me talk about Jack. I miss Jack every day and it never gets any easier. Just over fifteen months to go until I'm back with him for good; I can't wait for us to start our life together. _

_Now and then, I think about what's going to happen when I'm back. We still haven't decided where we're going to live, but there's plenty of time for that. The thing is, I would like to go back to my apartment in Knoxville. It's a great place and I haven't seen it for a long time; I'm sure Jack would like it. But he's already sacrificed so much for me that it's not fair to just decide on this without his input. If he would rather we live in his place together that would be fine with me; I want to be with him, wherever that is._

_I catch Mike looking at me now and again, and the looks make me very uncomfortable. I don't like the idea of him being around me at the moment, always reminding me of what he's blackmailed me with. What if he gets drunk again and starts telling the others about me and Jack? I don't think there'd be a way out of that one because everybody would hear it._

_I just try to keep my head up and stay out of trouble; I avoid Mike whenever I can and I hope it'll be enough until I can pluck up the courage to talk to the captain. I know I should, and I want to, but it won't be easy for me. I wish I had something of Jack's to hold on to, like a shirt or something. It would remind me of him and make things a little easier, especially at night when I'm alone without him. I love him and I hope that one day we have a life together._

Ennis heard a noise in the corridor and looked up in alarm; someone was trying the door. He knew that his cabin mate was working, so it was either Richard or Mike. Too scared to move, he simply waited. He prayed that if it was Mike, he would give up and go away.

"Ennis? You in there?" came Richard's voice, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He went to open the door and gave his friend an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry...I was writing in my journal and...I kept thinking that Mike was gonna burst in and steal it."

"I can understand that...this whole thing is making you paranoid," Richard pointed out, leaning against the wall. Ennis looked at him.

"Can you blame me?" he asked, putting his journal safely away. "After what he threatened me with?"

"Well...no," Richard admitted. "If I was in your position, I'd be the same. Have you spoken to the captain yet?"

Ennis shook his head. "No, not yet...don't have the guts yet."

"Ennis, we're arriving in Sydney today. You have to do something before we leave on the thirteenth or it'll be too late. Mike will tell everyone about you and Jack and you'll be kicking yourself because you didn't do anything."

Deep down, Ennis knew he was right; he couldn't just stand by. Jack wouldn't want him to. "I know...Jack keeps on at me as well. He gets that I'm scared but he knows I have to do this. Every time I pluck up the courage I just...can't do it..."

Richard sighed and put a hand to his forehead. "Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll go with you to tell the captain. I can vouch for how much this is affecting you and you might have a better defence."

Ennis was truly touched by this display of camaraderie, and he smiled. "I'll take you up on that, thanks. Okay, then...I'll talk to him on the thirteenth, before we leave. Then I've got this time on land to get some space and think about what I'm gonna say."

"Sounds fair. You have to do it, Ennis. It's the only way to fix this. I know you're risking your job but you've got no choice."

"Yeah. It really is the only way." Ennis nodded and then stood up. "Well, reckon they'll be getting ready for the landing soon. If we go up to the deck we might be able to see the Opera House."

"Sure." They left the cabin and headed up to the deck, following many of their co-workers who had the same idea. Ennis spotted Mike but stayed well away from him; he didn't need that right now.

He and Richard headed for the front, where they kept an eye on the horizon and wondered how long it would take to get there. Ennis knew that he was running out of time, but hopefully soon it would get sorted. He just didn't want to think about what might happen if it didn't.

* * *

They arrived in Sydney and were informed that due to a series of meetings with the head of the local Navy and their own captain, they would be staying in the city for two weeks before heading home. Ennis was looking forward to spending some time here because it looked interesting, but he was dreading the end of it because he would need to speak to the captain before Mike did something.

After landing in Port Jackson, Ennis looked around and stretched. "Well, guess we might as well try and relax while we're here. What are you gonna do?"

Richard pulled out the city guide that he had pocketed when they'd landed. "I reckon I might head down to the nearest beach and get some sun. You?"

"Maybe later. I wanna check out the Opera House. I'll see you later, yeah?" They clapped their hands together and headed off in separate directions. Ennis hoped that Mike wouldn't be following him.

As he walked, Ennis thought about Jack and what might happen if he was told to leave the Navy. Jack had told him that he was more than welcome to move in with him but Ennis hoped that he was able to stay. He knew his father, while accepting of his sexuality, was a very proud man who firmly believed that service in the armed forces would be good for him. Ennis just wanted to make him proud, to prove that even though he was gay he could still earn his father's respect. That was partially why he had joined in the first place and he sorely hoped that he would be allowed to see it through. He hated the thought of having to leave and then to be told by his father that he was a disgrace for allowing himself to be caught out. A dishonourable discharge would surely shame his father and Ennis didn't want that.

He walked around the bay, taking in the fresh sea air and snapping photos that he thought Jack might like. When he got to the other side, he looked around the Opera House for a while and decided to get some fish for lunch on the seafront. He hoped that one day he could bring Jack here to share this experience with him; he wanted to do so much with Jack that they hadn't had the chance to yet.

During their last phone call, Jack had told him that his mother had been in touch and that she and his father wanted to meet him. Ennis had been pleasantly surprised by this, given how he hadn't even thought about that much lately.

"_Yeah, she said she wants to get to know you. If we go up to their place, she'll cook for us. She said something about making a roast."_

"_That sounds great," Ennis replied, smiling. He wanted to meet Jack's family, since they would be together for good one day. Maybe even one day, Jack would be his family. That would make him happy. _

Ennis often thought about the idea of marrying Jack, now that their relationship was so stable. They'd never talked about it, but as far as he knew Jack didn't have anything against it. He was certain that Jack wanted to get married one day and he would love it if he could be the one that Jack married. However, he knew that it wasn't legal in Florida, but was in Iowa. That meant that if they wanted it to be legal, they would have to live in Iowa. He had no idea if same-sex marriage was going to be made legal in Florida any time soon, but maybe it would be by the time he returned for good. There was still over a year to go, after all.

He kept thinking about it as he walked around, wondering what it might be like. He knew it was way too soon in their relationship to ask Jack to marry him, no matter how much he loved him. They were moving quite quickly, but he didn't want to scare Jack by putting so much pressure on him. That wouldn't be fair. But he had to admit that he wanted to marry the man he loved, one day.

Over the two weeks they had here, Ennis walked around a lot while thinking. Sometimes he was alone and at other times Richard would join him. They talked about what they would say to the captain and how they might get him to take the situation seriously. Neither of them had any idea of how the captain felt about gay people, but Richard reminded Ennis of his options whenever this doubt came up.

"You know what'll happen if you don't do anything," he said as they were sat in a café one day, close to the end of their visit. "Mike will tell everyone and...they'll tear you apart, Ennis. There'll be nasty jokes, insults...it might even turn physical and then you definitely will be kicked out for fighting. My brother got that at high school and that was enough for me to know that I hate it when people do that to anyone they think to be different. I don't wanna see you going through what he did, because here it'll be so much worse."

"I know," Ennis agreed, nodding and trying to eat. "You and Jack both keep telling me that I have to do this and I know that you're right. But...it's not easy. Coming out to you was hard enough, but the captain...he can decide my future on this ship."

"True, but he could surprise you. I know there's the law, but surely it's up to him how he works with it. He's in charge, after all. I mean, captains have the right to conduct marriage ceremonies, so why not? He can probably do whatever he wants."

Ennis nodded again and thought about Jack, hoping he knew how much he was loved and what was about to risked just to keep their relationship safe.

* * *

_July 13th, 2010_

It was Tuesday, and also their last day. They were due to be leaving in a few hours and even though Ennis had enjoyed their time here, he was looking forward to returning home. He'd taken lots of photos for Jack and had even bought him a couple of gifts, which he thought Jack would like. The captain had pointed out that it would take them a bit longer to get back, which meant they would still be away until October. But that was fine with Ennis; maybe he would be there for Jack's birthday at last.

He and Richard were outside the captain's cabin, ready to talk to him about what was going on. Ennis appreciated having some support with him but he was very nervous.

"Just remember," Richard told him as they waited to be called in. "Even if this backfires, you'll be okay. You've got Jack, remember?"

Ennis nodded and they were asked to come inside. They did so and were directed to a pair of seats in front of the desk. The captain, whose name was Martin, smiled at them. "Okay, so what can I do for you two?"

"Um, well..." Ennis started, feeling terrified but wanting to get through this. "The thing is, sir...I'm being blackmailed by another member of the crew. And I was hoping you might be able to help me."

"Oh...well, tell me what's going on and I'll see what I can do."

"Sir, I...I know what the law says but I have to tell you this. I'm gay, and I've been seeing a guy in Jacksonville. And someone found out about it and now he's blackmailing me."

The captain looked surprised. "Well, I wasn't expecting that. But hey...there could be any number of gay men on this ship and I wouldn't know. As long as you're good workers I'm fine with it."

"You are?" Ennis asked in relief. "I thought you might tell me to pack up all my stuff." The captain smiled.

"Far from it, Ennis. So, you're seeing someone in Jacksonville, on shore leave? And now someone's blackmailing you?"

"Yep. He said he'll tell everyone unless I...you know..." He couldn't say it; the thought alone made him shudder because it would involve cheating on Jack and that made him feel sick. The captain nodded.

"I see. You don't have to spell it out, Ennis. So...what brings you into this?" he asked Richard.

"Ennis told me about him being gay a while ago, because he was missing his fella and wanted someone to talk to. Being away for so long isn't easy on them, sir. And when he told me about being blackmailed, he was so scared to come to you that I offered to come with him. My brother's gay so I know how difficult it can be to tell someone; he didn't tell us for years because he was so scared."

"Right. Okay then, what's the name of this person blackmailing you?"

"Mike Jones," Ennis replied, and the captain made a note of it.

"I know him...never thought he'd turn out to be like this. So he's blackmailing you with exposure in return for sexual favours, am I right?"

"Yeah," Ennis sighed, wishing it wasn't true.

"Right. I will have a word with him and see if I can sort this out. It may be that I might need to see all three of you at the same time."

"Sir...I'm worried about that. What if he gets angry that I came to you and tells everyone anyway?"

"I understand your fears, Ennis. But I can issue a gagging order on him, in relation to Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I can tell him that if he tells someone and they start harassing you, then he will be sacked on the spot and warned to keep away from you. I know that might not be enough to shut him up, but that's all I can do that doesn't involve tying him up somewhere and actually gagging him."

Ennis managed to smile; he hadn't know that the captain was like this. "Well...thanks anyway, sir. I was really scared about coming to see you."

"That's understandable, but you've nothing to be scared of with me. I have to ask then...what are your plans? Do you intend to leave us soon?"

"I want to see through my contract; it ends next year," Ennis told him. "Then I will be leaving. I'm gonna move in with Jack."

The captain smiled. "Sounds good. I wish you and your partner the best of luck for your future, I really do. And I will try to get this sorted out as soon as possible."

"Could it be today?" Ennis asked, remembering his time limit. "Mike said if he doesn't get an answer by today..."

"Certainly," the captain replied, and he pressed the intercom. "Sarah? Can you please get a Mike Jones up here to see me as soon as possible?"

"Yes, sir," his secretary replied, and he smiled.

"Done. Try not to worry, Ennis. I know that'll be hard but we'll do everything we can to keep you safe. As the captain, the upholding of the law is at my discretion so I won't be punishing you for telling me that you're gay. But I won't tolerate blackmail like this. I'll see this Mike Jones today and I'll give him a warning. If anything happens, please come to me. It might be that I need to make an official announcement that homophobia of any kind will not be tolerated on my ship."

Ennis nodded and they both stood up, shaking his hand. "Thank you so much, sir. I really appreciate this."

"It's not a problem. Dismissed." He waved them away with a smile and they left the office, both breathing sighs of relief.

"Guess that's sorted," Richard said, nudging Ennis. But Ennis wasn't celebrating yet.

"I don't know...I don't think it's over. If Mike backs down because of this...it'll be too easy."

* * *

Ennis tried not to worry too much as he went back to his cabin. Just because he wasn't going to believe that his troubles with Mike were over didn't mean that they weren't; maybe he was just paranoid. He did hope that he would get some peace after this but he just couldn't let himself believe that yet; he knew that Mike was bound to get angry that he'd gone to the captain for help. Bullies like Mike didn't like it when they were confronted; they took their anger out on their victims in any way possible.

He sat on his bed for a while as he waited for them to set off again, flicking through his journal and smiling as he thought of how Jack was waiting for him. He loved Jack so much and was looking forward to meeting his parents; maybe one day they would be his in-laws, and that was an encouraging thought.

There was a knock on the door and he froze, staring at it in fear. There was nowhere to hide if this was Mike. "It's me, Ennis," came Richard's voice again, and he sighed. He had to stop panicking like that every time someone knocked on the door.

"Come on in." He put his journal down and his friend entered the room, looking worried. "What's going on?"

"I was just up near the captain's cabin and I spotted Mike going in there. I reckon he might get a warning for this but I know one thing; he's not gonna be happy. What if he gets drunk again and starts shooting his mouth off?"

"I know, but you and Jack were right. I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. I had to take action, and at least I won't regret anything now." This way, everything was on his terms and he wouldn't kick himself for letting Mike get his way.

"I hope you're right." A few minutes later, there was a banging on the door; there was no mistaking the visitor this time.

"Ennis! Open this door or I swear I'll kick it down!" It was Mike, and the tone of his voice was enough to make Ennis scared.

"Oh God..." He put his journal safely away and stood up, glancing at Richard. He nodded.

"It's okay. You can't let yourself be intimidated."

Ennis opened the door and came face to face with a furious Mike. "You think you can just grass me up to the captain and get away with it?"

"You think you can blackmail me and get away with it?" Ennis retorted, folding his arms. He was terrified, but he had to keep his head held high. Mike glared at him.

"The captain gave me a warning just now. Said if I spread rumours about you and something happens, I'll get the sack. So even if someone else finds out on their own, I'm gonna get the blame."

Ennis shrugged. "You should have thought about that before you started blackmailing me. You tried to get me to cheat on someone I love."

Mike stepped closer, eyes full of hate. "Now you listen here, you goddamn queer. If you think you can keep me quiet, you're wrong. I know guys who love beating up people like you, so you'd better be careful. I'll tell all of them what you are, and what's the captain gonna do? Sack all of us? I don't think so."

Ennis felt fear running through him; he'd known that Mike could react like this but he'd hoped that it wouldn't come to that. Now Mike was going to tell everyone that he was gay and seeing a man on shore leave, and that would be it. What if they beat him up in the middle of the night? Even if he recovered, it would still be over for him because he wouldn't want to continue working here. Worse still, what if they followed him on the next shore leave and hurt Jack too, out of spite? He would blame himself if something happened to Jack, even if Jack himself didn't.

"Well...I'm not backing down," he replied, trying to stay strong. Jack would want him to, so he had to make him proud. "You shouldn't have blackmailed me, and then this wouldn't have happened. It's your own fault, Mike."

"You're going to regret this," Mike said in a low voice, making Ennis wish that Jack could be here with him; Jack would probably hit Mike right about now. "Everyone will know the truth and you will get what you deserve."

He stepped away and started walking back down the corridor. Ennis exhaled in relief to see him go and leaned against the door frame. He was glad that Mike was away from him, but he knew exactly what was coming next. "Shit...I knew this would happen."

"You had to do it," Richard pointed out, clapping him on the shoulder. "That guy's an asshole and he shouldn't be allowed to intimidate anyone like this. I know there's a huge risk of him telling the others, but maybe he was bluffing. Maybe he's too worried about losing his job to actually do anything, but he wants you to be afraid so he's letting you think that he's going to tell the others, you know?"

"Maybe," Ennis replied, though he didn't believe it. "But the way he looked at me...I think he's serious. They'll probably all know by sundown." He sighed, thinking about how this would spell the end of his career for sure. He certainly wouldn't want to carry on working on the ship if everyone made fun of him or beat him up, so he guessed that this was it.

Ennis knew that he still had Jack and that this would never change. Jack would be there for him when he returned and would take good care of him; he'd never doubted that. He had hoped to see out the remainder of his contract but obviously that wasn't going to happen now.

* * *

_July 20th, 2010_

A week later, Ennis decided to call Jack and let him know how things were going; he knew that Jack would want to know how the talk with the captain had gone so he figured it was only fair.

To his surprise and suspicion, he hadn't been approached by anyone wanting to know if the rumours about him were true. He had honestly expected this and he didn't understand why Mike hadn't said anything. Richard had told him that he hadn't heard a word about him, and Ennis wondered what was going on. He knew he shouldn't tempt fate and he was glad that Mike was keeping quiet, but he hoped that Mike wasn't going to get drunk anytime soon; he just couldn't shut up when he'd had alcohol.

Alone in his cabin, he dialled Jack's number and waited to hear that beloved voice. "Ennis?"

"Hey, darlin'. Sorry it took me a while to get around to calling you."

"It's okay, bud. I know you're busy. How are you?"

"I'm...okay, I guess. I talked to the captain last week, about Mike."

"You did? That's great, Ennis! What did he say?"

"He's okay about me being gay, and he said he won't tolerate what Mike's doing. So he's given him a warning not to harass me. And if something happens, then Mike's gonna get the blame for it and he'll be sacked."

"Good. I hate to think of that bastard making you miserable and scaring you. I really wanna punch him, you know?"

Ennis smirked. "That makes two of us. But then something happened a little later..."

"What? Did he threaten you?" Jack asked, sounding concerned.

"Kind of. I was talking to Richard in my cabin and Mike knocked on the door. He told me I'm gonna regret grassing him up to the captain and that things are basically gonna get really bad. Jack...there's this one guy who he says loves to beat up people like us. What if he corners me, and...?"

"Ennis...I don't know what to say. I wish it wasn't like that and I wish I could be there to help you. But it's like I keep saying; you're gonna be okay. If you get beat up, I'll help you get better. That's just the way it is. You're never gonna be alone, okay?"

"I know that, but...it still scares me. I kept thinking things...what if they follow me on the next shore leave and hurt you? I'll never forgive myself, even if you do."

"Ennis, it won't come to that. You ought to know by now what it's like on that ship; they just like stirring things up. I know that some of them might be violent, but...if it comes to that we'll get a restraining order or something. We might even be moving when you come back next year. We still need to talk about that one, actually."

"Yeah, we do. I don't know what I wanna do about that yet. I think about it sometimes but I can't decide. Maybe we should sit down together and weigh up all of our options, you know? Decide between us what the best solution is."

"Sounds good. I know we're very compatible, Ennis...so we shouldn't have any arguments, I don't think. And I'm looking forward to settling down with you; I can't wait."

Ennis smiled. "Me neither, darlin'. And...I can't wait to be back with you in a few months. Every day brings me closer to you."

"Yeah...I'm looking forward to it. I hope you can meet my parents too, Ennis. I know they really want to meet you."

"I wanna meet them, too. That roast that your mom was talking about...I'd love that. Reckon we'll need something like that."

"Ennis, I...I want to meet Richard too. He's your friend and he's been giving you support, so...I wanna thank him for that. Maybe we could all go for a beer one night or something, you know?"

"I reckon he'd like that. Anyway, the thing is...even though Mike said I'll regret telling the captain, I haven't heard anything. Neither has Richard. It looks as if Mike hasn't said anything to anyone."

"When he threatened you...is it possible that he was bluffing just to keep you intimidated?"

"We thought about that. But...I don't know. Maybe he's biding his time?

"Maybe. But you can't tempt fate, Ennis. You should think yourself lucky that nothing's happened yet. Maybe it'll stay like that and you can fulfil your contract. Then you won't have to worry about what they're saying because you won't be there. It won't hurt you then."

Ennis knew he was right, but he was extremely worried about what Mike might be planning. Halloween was coming up in a few months; what if Mike got drunk again and told everyone?

"I know. And I'm sure glad I've got you on my side, Jack. It's a little easier to deal with all of this, knowing that you'll be there for me if I need you."

"You'd do it for me," Jack pointed out, and Ennis had to agree. He'd do anything for Jack.

"That's true. I can't wait to be with you again, Jack. To hold you and kiss you...I physically miss you, you know? Like I'm missing a limb or something..."

"Ennis...I feel like that too. I can't wait until you're here for good. Even with working, we'll still be together every day. Then everything will be alright, I know it."

"Yeah, it will," Ennis replied, smiling to himself. His heart ached for the day when he would be with Jack for good; there was still over a year to go which was dragging by. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too. Let me know when you have the dates of your stay, so I can tell my mom. And good luck with everything."

"Yep. Bye, Jack."

"Bye, baby." Jack clicked off and Ennis sighed, wishing that he could just go to sleep and then wake up in Jack's apartment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_Thursday, August 10th 2010_

_Dear Ennis,_

_I know it hasn't been easy for you lately, but I want you to know that I'm very happy you decided to take action and go to the captain for help. I just had a gut feeling that he wouldn't refuse to help you and I'm glad that he's okay with you being who you are. I know it's hard for you to be around Mike all the time, not knowing why he hasn't said anything despite his threat to do so. _

_I really hope he was bluffing and that he's too afraid of losing his job to put it at risk like that. But you have to watch people like that; sometimes you never know what's going on in their heads and sometimes you don't even want to know. But I'm sure everything will be fine._

_I also hope that you can be here for longer this time, and not just because my parents want to meet you. I miss you so much, Ennis...and a few days isn't much of a consolation for six months apart. But I do appreciate every moment we have together and I don't regret getting involved with you, not for one second. It's never easy to be without you, but I know it'll all be worth it in the end._

_When you get back, I really hope I can meet your friend Richard and thank him for having your back through all of this. Maybe I was a little bit jealous at first, mostly because he can actually help you and I can't. But I trust you completely and I know you would never hurt me._

_My parents are really looking forward to meeting you, and they hope you can make it for dinner with us. I think they want to ask you a lot of uncomfortable questions that parents always ask their child's potential partner, so I hope you're prepared for that. But in general, they're really nice people and they just want to get to know you. If things go well between us then they will make you feel like you're truly part of the family._

_I want you to keep your chin up, Ennis. I know it's not easy and that things might unravel very quickly on that ship, but I'm sure you can handle it. You're the strongest person I know and I'm certain you'll be fine in the long run. Even if you suffer because of this, just remember that I'll be here for you when you get back. And I'll even punch that guy Mike in the face if you want me to; he deserves it for doing this to you._

_I hope you can give me the dates of your visit soon; I'm looking forward to seeing you so much. Just one more year to go, after all._

_I love you, Ennis. You carry on being the strong, dependable guy that I fell in love with._

_All my love, Jack xxx_

Jack smiled to himself as he read the letter over, wanting to say so much more but not really having the words. He just couldn't find the right ones to describe just how much he loved Ennis, but that was okay. He knew that Ennis understood how he felt, because he had the same problem of finding the words and Jack still knew how much Ennis loved him.

He wondered what it might be like for Ennis to meet his parents at last, but he was sure that such a meeting would go very well. His parents had fully accepted Ennis as his choice of partner, after all. He was sure that everything would be fine.

Jack often thought about this time next year when Ennis would be returning to him for good; he couldn't wait. He still didn't know exactly what they were going to do or where they were going to live, but he didn't care too much right now; they could discuss that the next time Ennis was here or even the time after. He just knew that he wanted to be with Ennis for the rest of his life, wherever that took them.

He sighed and hoped that Ennis could get back to him soon about the dates of his next visit; perhaps he would even make it for his birthday, unlike the last time. Jack wanted to spend his birthday with Ennis and knew that the feeling was mutual; he wanted to spend all day and all night celebrating with him, perhaps not even leaving the bedroom except to get a load of food and champagne to keep in there with them.

_Not a bad idea, _he thought to himself, nodding. There was something appealing about spending the entire day in bed with Ennis, and he wondered how many times they could have sex, in every variety known to them. Maybe he could buy a copy of the Kama Sutra for them to use; that would be fun.

Either way, he was so looking forward to seeing Ennis again. Soon enough, he would be back and Jack would be able to make love with that wonderful man as he so wanted to. He missed Ennis with every part of himself and practically ached for him every day and night.

Jack felt his phone buzz and he looked at the screen; there was a text from Ennis.

_Thinking of you, bud. Not easy, but looking forward to seeing you xxx_

Jack grinned at this; he loved it when Ennis texted him now and then like this; it reminded him that despite the distance, Ennis was always close to him. He sent one back with a grin on his face, knowing that Ennis needed the words from him that would make him feel better.

_I love you, baby. Come home soon to me xxx _

He sighed and folded up the letter, putting it in the addressed envelope and then next to his keys by the door, thinking about the next time he would see Ennis.

* * *

Later that evening, Jack was preparing himself some dinner when Ennis called him. He'd been thinking about the man himself all day, which he always enjoyed doing. As much as he missed Ennis, he felt as though the more he thought about him, the less lonely he would feel. It did sort of work, after all.

He was just putting the dinner in the oven when the phone rang, and he grinned when he saw Ennis's name flashing on the screen. This was always a great moment for him, and he looked forward to every call. "Hey, baby. How's it going?"

"It's okay, I guess. I haven't heard anything from Mike about what he knows. I don't know what's going on with that, to be honest. I expected something to happen."

"Hey, what do I keep telling you? It's a good thing. And maybe he is biding his time before he says something, but maybe not. Try not to worry, okay?" He himself was very worried for Ennis's wellbeing, but he couldn't let Ennis know that because he wanted to be supportive. Ennis needed him to be there for him.

"Yeah, I know. And you're right. It's just hard to feel relaxed when he could say something at any time. The only thing getting me through this is knowing that I'll be seeing you soon."

Jack smiled. "Good. By the way...do you know anything about your dates here yet?" he asked hopefully. Maybe there would be a longer visit this time and they could spend more time together. That was what he wanted more than anything.

"I sure do," Ennis replied, now sounding happier. Jack wondered what was going on. "You wanna hear it?"

"Is that a trick question?" Jack asked, grinning as he checked the food. Surely this could only be a good thing, judging by Ennis's tone of voice.

"Well...I'm gonna be there for fourteen days, Jack. Two whole weeks, more or less."

Jack wondered if he'd heard right; surely that couldn't be right. "Ennis, are you sure? How did that happen?"

"Not sure, but that's what the official order is. And that's not even the best part."

"What else is there?" he asked, wondering what on earth could possibly be better than two weeks with Ennis.

"I'll be here for your birthday, darlin'," Ennis said softly, and Jack felt warmth spreading through him. He'd longer for that so much and now it was going to happen; this was a great present and he loved it.

"Oh, Ennis...that's great! You can meet my parents and everything, and we can spend my birthday together!"

"We sure can," Ennis agreed, sounding just as happy as him. "I can't wait to be back with you, Jack. I'll make sure your birthday is really special, I promise."

"Well, I actually had an idea," Jack started, thinking that Ennis would like this. "How about...we take some food and champagne into the bedroom in the morning, and stay in there all day? What do you say to that, bud?"

"Hmm. I say...that's perfect. Sounds like an amazing day to me, Jack. Wonder how many times we can do it in a day like that?"

"I don't know...but I'd love to find out," Jack said, his tone flirtatious. He could practically see Ennis grinning at this. "I still can't believe it...two whole weeks with you. That'll be amazing."

"It really will...and I can't wait to meet your parents. I'm looking forward to that."

"You'll make my mom happy; she loves cooking that big roast. I can't wait for you to meet them. I know they'll like you, Ennis. And...maybe one day they'll be your in-laws, right?"

"Yeah, maybe. I mean...one day," Ennis said tentatively; he wasn't sure how Jack felt about marriage yet. They'd never talked seriously about it, after all.

"It's a possibility," Jack agreed. "You never know what's gonna happen in life. I just know...that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know that we'll have that."

"Absolutely. Jack, I...I know we have to talk about the future at some point. Like, where exactly we're gonna live and stuff. But...I still haven't made any decisions about that. I'm not sure yet what I want, and I don't know if you are, but..."

"Ennis, it's okay," Jack reassured him. "I'm not sure yet either, to be honest. Like you just said, there's plenty of time for us to talk about that. I'm fine with not knowing right now, bud. It's gonna be okay, you know. We'll have a sit-down together when the time is right and work all of this out together. I think that's the best solution."

"Yeah, you're right. I just hope we don't end up arguing over it..."

"I don't think we will, Ennis," Jack replied. He put his phone to his shoulder and took his dinner out of the oven. "We're really compatible, I reckon. And we'll figure it out, together."

"Sounds like a plan, Jack. Anyway, I'd better get going. I've got some stuff to do and I don't want Mike to come barging in on me using the phone. I don't need that right now."

"I know, baby. Try not to worry about it too much. Just think...in a couple of months we'll have two weeks together, including my birthday. I think that's definitely something to look forward to."

"Yeah, it is. Anyway...I'll speak to you soon, Jack. Love you."

"I love you too, Ennis. Bye." He clicked off and settled down with his dinner, thinking about Ennis's upcoming visit and what his birthday was going to be like. He knew that he would have to buy a lot of lubricant for such a day, not to mention some champagne and more food. But it would all be worth it in the end and he knew that. He was looking forward to having sex with Ennis all day and all night; it was something to be very happy about and he couldn't wait for it to happen.

* * *

_August 17th, 2010_

On Tuesday, Jack didn't have to work so he contented himself with having a lie-in for once. He did wish that Ennis could be here with him to enjoy it, but there was nothing he could do about that just yet. When Ennis did arrive, they would be spending the entire day of his birthday right here in the bedroom, except obviously if they needed the bathroom. Jack was glad he had an en-suite bathroom; at least then they technically wouldn't need to leave the bedroom.

Every day, he wondered how Ennis was faring and also why Mike hadn't said anything to anyone. They had both thought that Mike would react like that to being reported to the captain, and yet he hadn't. Jack was extremely suspicious as to why this hadn't happened, but he knew that they were lucky. He just hoped this luck wasn't short-lived.

As he lay staring at the ceiling, he became aware of his phone ringing on the nightstand; it was his mother. "Hey, Mom."

"Hi, honey. You sent me a text saying that you had the dates of Ennis's stay, right? Can you tell me?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied, sitting up a little and clearing his throat. "Well, he's gonna be here for two weeks, so we'll definitely be able to have dinner with you guys."

"That's great, Jack! Two whole weeks together...does that include your birthday?"

"Yeah, it does. And we've got plans for that." He decided that he didn't need to go into detail. "Um...he'll be here on the first of October and he's leaving on the sixteenth. It's up to you when we can come up for dinner."

"I'll have a word with your father and we'll work something out," she told him. "Has anything happened with that colleague of his? The one blackmailing him?"

"Ennis went to the captain to report him, and says that the whole thing's gonna get sorted. Mike got a warning for it, but he told Ennis that he'll regret grassing him up. We keep thinking that he's going to tell everyone anyway out of spite, which I hate him for right now. But nothing's happened."

"Really? He hasn't said a word? So then why...?"

"I hope he was bluffing just to keep Ennis intimidated," Jack told her, stretching. "But we don't know for sure. A guy like that...he could just be biding his time."

"Oh, Jack...I hope that's not the case. From what you've told me, Ennis is taking the whole thing pretty hard. He needs to get back soon so that he can be with you."

"I know. I miss him every day and when he calls me, scared that Mike's gonna tell everyone...I just wanna hold him and tell him it's okay. He's not a weak person, far from it...but he's just scared. I completely understand him."

"As do I. He's found a good man in you, Jack. I want you to know that we're both very proud of how you deal with all of this. It's hard for you to be away from him for so long, but sometimes it's like you're not even thinking about that; you seem more concerned with how he's doing. And that is a great thing; I'm sure he appreciates it."

"He does. I just know that if our situations were reversed, he would do everything that I'm doing right now. He'd do all of this for me, I'm sure."

"We're looking forward to meeting this wonderful young man, Jack. Someone who makes you feel like this...not everybody gets that in their life. You're very lucky."

Jack smiled when he thought about how right she was. It wasn't just about how he was supporting Ennis through this situation, but also of the bigger picture. Ennis loved him and if this wasn't going on, they would be a lot more relaxed at the moment. He loved it when nothing was going on, so they could just think about each other and what the next visit might bring. He didn't mind that things were difficult right now because his relationship with Ennis was solid; nothing was going to tear them apart now.

"You're right, Mom. I'm really lucky and...I can't wait to see him again. I'm sure that you guys are gonna love him."

"We will, judging by everything you've told us about him. All we need to know is that you're happy, with someone who loves you. And we're certain that you are. We would love to welcome Ennis into our family."

"I know he'll like that. He hasn't had the chance to see his parents for a couple of years since they live so far away. He talks to them on the phone but...we both know it's not quite the same."

"Oh, honey...he'll be back soon. And at least you'll get to spend your birthday with him this time."

"Yeah, that's true," he admitted, smiling. He couldn't wait for that day and he knew it would be perfect, even though he would probably be walking funny the next day. "Anyway..."

"Yeah. We'll make arrangements for dinner nearer the time, honey. Give our best to Ennis when he calls, and we'll see you soon."

"Yep. Bye, Mom." He clicked off and looked at the time; he didn't have to get up just yet, so he flicked through the photos of him and Ennis on his phone. Some were of Ennis alone and some were of them together, which he had either taken himself or Lureen had taken for them. Maybe one day, there would be photos of a wedding for him to look at.

But that was way off into the future. Right now, he just wanted to think about his birthday and everything they might get up to in this very room. He shivered at the thought of having sex with Ennis all day, only stopping when they needed to eat or use the bathroom. It was shaping up to the best birthday of his life so far.

* * *

That night, Jack was struggling to sleep. He was excited about Ennis's upcoming visit and was looking forward to his birthday, but he was also worried. Ennis had shared his fears that someone from the ship, namely Mike, would follow him and cause trouble for them on the next shore leave. Although Jack had tried to soothe Ennis's worries, now he was wondering. If anything did happen to him as a result, Jack knew that Ennis would never forgive himself. All he could do was try to convince Ennis that this wouldn't be the case; it simply wouldn't be his fault if anything happened.

He had the suspicion that Mike was biding his time before saying anything, and this scared him. He remembered the Halloween party that Ennis had told him about, when Mike had gotten drunk and tried to get him to do shots. If he got drunk this time, he could easily say anything that would incriminate Ennis and that would be a disaster. Jack just hoped that if this happened, nobody would believe it because of Mike being drunk. Hopefully, nothing was going to happen.

The only thing that helped was holding Ennis's shirt through the night; it still smelled of him so Jack loved holding it close as he lay in bed. He felt as if it really did help him to sleep because it was almost as if Ennis was there with him; that was a wonderful feeling and he was a little less lonely. Not to mention the dreams he had because Ennis was in his mind.

_He felt a warm presence behind him in the bed, and started to move but then there was a hand on his back. "Shh," Ennis shushed him. "Don't move. Let me do everything." He was caressing Jack's glowing skin, nuzzling him softly._

"_Ennis," Jack sighed, smiling. He was naked and wondering what exactly Ennis was going to do with such an offer. He loved it when Ennis took over and made him feel so good. "I missed you..."_

"_Missed you too, darlin'," Ennis murmured in his ear, and Jack heard the familiar sound of the lubricant being opened. He shivered when he felt Ennis press tightly against him, his erection unmistakeable. "Wanna be inside you..."_

"_It's all yours," Jack told him, pushing backwards to invite him. "Fuck me..." Ennis kissed his ear and straddled him, pushing Jack's legs apart to lean over him. He took his position and started to work his way inside, hand on Jack's hip to steady him. "Oh God..." he groaned when he felt the well-known warmth starting to wash over him. "You feel so damn good, every single time..."_

"_So do you," Ennis replied, pushing his way in until they were one. Jack whimpered slightly at the pain but he reached back for Ennis; a signal that he was ready. He knew very well that Ennis wouldn't do anything until he was comfortable; that was just one of the many things he loved about Ennis._

_It happened slowly, all the way through. Ennis took his time to kiss Jack's neck and caress every part of skin he could reach. He rubbed Jack's lower stomach to arouse him even more and when Jack turned his head, they kissed deeply. Ennis then lowered his hand to take hold of Jack, running it along Jack's length and drawing a moan out of him. "I love you, Jack," he whispered._

"_Love you too," Jack groaned, trembling under the light touch and eventually spilling onto the bed. He felt Ennis thrust a few more times until the burning sensation ran through him. They collapsed together and he sighed. "That was wonderful..."_

"_It really was...you're amazing, Jack." He kissed the back of Jack's neck again and wrapped his arms around him, as if he never wanted to let go. Jack wished that Ennis was never going to leave ever again; that he could always be here from now on._

Jack woke up and sighed happily; he always loved dreaming about Ennis, particularly sex dreams. They were almost as good as the real thing and it helped him to remember how Ennis made him feel when they were together. He loved it when Ennis held him and whispered to him; that made him feel so special, and he knew that Ennis would take care of him if he needed it. That was part of a healthy relationship, after all. He and Ennis were doing really well, despite the issues.

At the moment, Jack knew that he needed to be there for Ennis. But that was okay; he knew that if he needed Ennis to be there for him, he would be. They were already almost like a married couple anyway, despite the long distance and how they hadn't spent a lot of time together yet. He hoped one day that they would get married; that would be a great thing for both of them.

He watched the moonlight streaming through the curtains onto the floor, thinking about what Ennis might be doing right now. Perhaps he was asleep, but not necessarily. Jack knew that Ennis sometimes went up onto the deck to watch the water if he couldn't sleep. He liked the image of Ennis standing there at the railing, in the moonlight, alone and silent.

Jack sighed and looked over at the clock; it was early morning and he had to get up for work in six hours. Still, he'd had a good dream of Ennis and that made him happy. He didn't feel so lonely when that happened, and it was always enjoyable to dream of the man he loved.

He thought about the upcoming visit and wondered what else they were going to do while Ennis was here. He wanted to go to the movies with Ennis so they could make out at the back in the dark, and he wanted to go for a walk in the park again. Either way, he was glad that Ennis was coming home soon.

* * *

_August 24th, 2010_

On Monday, Jack was busy at work when Lureen arrived for her shift. He looked up as she approached and smiled. "Hey."

"Back to you," she replied, kissing his cheek as she put her bag down. "How's everything?"

"Good, actually. Ennis is coming home in just over a month, so I'm happy about that," he told her, and she took her coat off.

"Right...he's meeting your parents, isn't he?"

"Yeah. We've got it all sorted now. I think they're all looking forward to it, especially my mom. I know it wasn't easy for her when I started seeing someone who was gonna be away for so long..."

"She just wants the best for you," Lureen reminded him. "Every decent parent wants their children to be happy, and she was just trying to make sure that you would be."

"I know. But the thing is...even with all the crap Ennis is going through right now with that Mike guy...we're still happy together. He knows that one day, we'll look back on this time and wonder what all the fuss was about. It won't matter then because we'll be together every day, and that's what we want. We'll spend so much time together, even with working. I just can't wait to find out what it's gonna be like."

Lureen smiled at him. "Sounds like you've got it bad, Jack. I'm sure Ennis feels the same way. Just one more year to go, right?"

"Yeah. It's weird...I think back to when we met and his permanent return seemed like a lifetime away. I never thought I'd see the light at the end of the tunnel, you know?"

"I know. You've wanted this for so long and...you're maybe concerned that it won't turn out to be how you imagined, right?"

Jack bit his lip. "Maybe. I love him, I really do...but what if we can't live together? What if we can't stand each other for more than a few days?"

"Jack, stop it. You know that won't be the case; Ennis loves you too. And if it makes you feel any better, just remember that this time he'll be here for two weeks. That's a good trial run, right? It should give you some idea of whether or not you can live together. I firmly believe that you have nothing to worry about; I've seen the way you guys look at each other when you think nobody's looking. You're crazy about each other, Jack."

"Yeah, that's true," Jack admitted, smiling as he thought about how Ennis made him feel. There was no other feeling like it, and he was fairly certain that his fears were unfounded. He was just feeling them because he wanted to live with Ennis so much and worried that it wasn't going to work out; he didn't want to lose Ennis, ever.

"Anyway," Lureen started as she started stocking the shelves close to him. "How's he doing with that Mike guy giving him grief?"

"To be honest, we don't know what's going on," Jack told her. "The guy hasn't said a thing to anyone, but I don't think it's over yet. Maybe he was bluffing when he told Ennis he was going to regret it, but then...maybe he's just biding his time. Remember that he got drunk at that Halloween party? What if it happens again and he starts shooting his mouth off?"

"I hope you're wrong, Jack," she said to him as she passed. "I can't even imagine what it'll do to Ennis if they all start on him. But he can take care of himself, right?"

"Yeah. He's not exactly weak...but this scares him. He can hold his own in a fight if he has to, but...he can't go around punching everyone who looks at him funny and he knows it. He'll definitely get sacked if he does that. He comes across as tough, but...there's another side to him. It's gentler, and I know he'll be the perfect partner when we're together for good. I know I can trust him no matter what, and that he'll never hurt me."

He looked up to see Lureen smirking at him and realised that he'd been staring into space as he'd spoken. "Oh, um..."

"You've really got it bad for him, haven't you?" she asked, looking at him knowingly. "So...do I hear wedding bells sometime in the future?"

He grinned at her sheepishly. "I don't know...I can see myself marrying him some day. But...we've never seriously talked about it, only in passing. Maybe one day it'll happen."

"You want to marry him one day?" she asked, and there was no need for him to think this one over. It was one of those things that didn't need thinking about as far as he was concerned.

"Yeah, I do," he said softly, nodding. "I want all of that...to marry him, live with him...maybe even somehow have a family with him."

Lureen put her hand over his. "Jack...if you do decide to have kids with him, you know I'll help with that if you want me to. You're my best friend and I like Ennis a lot; I know we'll be good friends when I see him more often. If you need my help..."

He looked at her, deeply touched by the offer. He hadn't expected that. "Thanks, Lureen...I don't know what to say. I'll definitely keep that one in mind for when the time comes." He kissed her on the cheek and she went off to stack more shelves.

Jack thought about what the future was going to hold for him and Ennis, and he knew deep down that Ennis wanted all of the things he did; they were always talking about moving in together and that was a good start. Still, he was aware that they had a lot to get through before that time came, starting with the imminent problem of Mike threatening Ennis and yet not actually doing anything. Jack didn't know what to think of it, but he hoped that his fears were wrong.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_October 1st, 2010_

It was a Friday when Ennis's visit was due to start, and Jack was pacing restlessly around his apartment. Ennis had just been allowed into the building and would knock on the door at any minute; Jack was very nervous. Six long months that felt like six years, and now Ennis was almost here with him again.

Jack had spent the last month preparing himself for what would be an amazing fortnight, and also thinking about what they had to discuss. They seriously needed to talk about their future living situation and what they were going to do when Ennis returned for good.

He jumped when there came a knock on the door, and Jack eagerly crossed the room and opened it; Ennis was standing there with his bag, dressed in the uniform that Jack loved so much with a smile on his face. "Hey, Jack."

Jack grinned and felt his heart flutter, but he held back for a moment. "Were you followed?" Ennis shook his head.

"Nope; I made sure this time," he replied, and he dropped his bag when Jack rushed into his arms, kissing him fervently. He grabbed at Jack to steady himself, and then sunk into the kiss that his lover was ravishing him with. "Mmm..."

"I missed you," Jack breathed when they let go of each other for air. Ennis nodded and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you too, so much..." Jack led him into the apartment and they kissed again, safely behind a closed door where nobody could spy on them. Ennis pulled his mouth away to look into Jack's eyes. "Damn...feels so good to be with you again. I needed this..."

"I know, baby," Jack replied, caressing the back of his neck and peering up at him. "I know it hasn't been easy and I'm so sorry about being the cause of it..."

Ennis shook his head. "It's not your fault. We shouldn't have to hide away just because neither of us is a woman. I sure as hell don't blame you for what Mike's trying to do."

"He still hasn't done anything?" Jack asked.

"Nope. It's weird...sometimes he looks at me and grins, like he's got this hold over me. I don't know what to make of it."

Jack gulped. "Maybe he's hoping...that you'll reconsider his suggestion just to keep him quiet...like before..." Ennis cupped his cheeks.

"Even if he is...it's never gonna happen. I mean...I get lonely without you and sometimes it's not easy at all. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna go messing around behind your back, not even for my job. It's just not worth jeopardising this, what I've got with you."

Jack smiled up at him and kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too, Jack..." They kissed once more and felt satisfied for now; they were going to have two whole weeks together.

"Um...you want anything to eat or drink?" Jack offered. "I took the day off so I could be here when you arrived. Lureen said she'll cover my shift."

"Yeah, I'll have whatever's on offer," Ennis replied, and the double entendre hit them both at the same time. Jack laughed.

"You can have me later; you need some solid food right now." He went into the kitchen and Ennis sat down, removing his hat and stretching. He felt happier than he had in months, and realised that he also felt very much at home. He could get used to this, being with Jack all the time and coming home to him. They still needed to talk about where they were going to live, but not now. He wanted to savour this for as long as possible.

Jack came back with some lunch for them and they settled onto the sofa together, happy and content. They half-watched the TV for a while but soon became much more interested in each other when the food had been consumed.

Ennis was pressing Jack down onto the sofa, kissing his neck and sliding a hand down his stomach. "Ennis," he gasped, bucking upwards. "Oh God...is this a good idea? With you wearing your uniform?"

"I'll take it off," Ennis whispered in his ear, and Jack groaned in response. Before he could register what was happening, his pants were around his ankles and Ennis had his head in his lap.

"Oh God...how the hell are you so good at this? I thought you never did this before you met me?" he moaned, tilting his head back. Ennis briefly came up for air.

"I didn't, but you know what they say...practice makes perfect. We've done this plenty of times, right?"

"Fair point," Jack agreed, aware that Ennis was jerking himself off as he sucked him off; there was going to be a stain on the sofa after this but he didn't care. "Fuck!" he groaned, bucking harder and shooting into Ennis's warm mouth. Ennis sucked him dry until he collapsed, and he felt the warm fluid hit his lower stomach where his shirt was open. "Oh, Ennis..."

Ennis crawled back up and smiled down at him. "Now that's what I call a welcome home present," he quipped, and Jack started laughing.

"You're crazy," he replied, smiling up breathlessly. Ennis cupped his cheek.

"I like it when you laugh...and if I'm crazy then it's for you." He kissed Jack tenderly, allowing Jack to taste himself on his lips. "I missed you so much, darlin'..."

Jack reached out for him and they lay there together, half-naked and spent. Jack didn't care about the stains; the cushions would wash. Besides, he was so happy right now that he would have sex anywhere that Ennis wished. Maybe the kitchen worktops were on the agenda for this fortnight.

"Looking forward to my birthday," he whispered in Ennis's ear. "All that sex with you..."

"Mmm," Ennis agreed, squeezing him. "Gonna give you a day you'll never forget." Jack smiled and kissed his forehead, feeling as though he was finally complete with his other half in his arms.

* * *

A little later, Jack locked up and went into the bathroom to find Ennis filling up the tub. "Hey, what's this?" he asked, looking around. "I thought we were gonna go to bed..."

Ennis smiled at him. "Yeah, but then I got to thinking. I wanna have a bath with you, weird as that sounds. Look, I found the candles," he indicated, and Jack noticed that every surface was covered with them. It was very romantic, he had to admit. He loved Ennis's romantic side so much; it reminded him of lucky he truly was.

"Oh, Ennis...that was a really great idea. Is it too late for wine?" Ennis shook his head.

"Don't think so. I'll finish this and you can get some from the kitchen," he suggested, and Jack nodded, kissing his cheek before leaving the room. He came back to find Ennis naked and in the tub, clearly much more relaxed now. He was a little put out to find that Ennis had started without him, but he could never stay mad at Ennis for long.

"Well...this is a sight for sore eyes," Jack quipped as he set the wine and glasses down, grinning at his lover. He pulled his shirt off and was aware of Ennis watching him, eyes full of hunger. "See something you like?" he asked as his jeans came off. Ennis nodded.

"Yeah, a few things. Come on," he added, widening his legs so that Jack could fit between them. Jack climbed into the tub and immediately felt himself being wrapped up in a pair of strong arms. Ennis squeezed his stomach, making him purr.

"Mmm...that feels good. I missed having your arms around me, Ennis. I missed everything about you...it's been so long..."

"I know. And it's been really hard this time, with Mike threatening me. So many times, I would go into my cabin and wish that you could be there in my bed. I wanted to hold you...and have you tell me that everything was gonna be okay. I wanted to...be inside you because that's when I feel safe. To be in control of something for once..."

Jack rested his head back on Ennis's shoulder, looking up at him. "Ennis...I wish this didn't have to be so hard. But think about it...there's just one year left to go until you're here for good. Right?"

Ennis nodded and smiled at him. "That's true. I can't wait to be back with you. Are we gonna talk about where we're gonna live?"

"I don't know. We've got three options, I guess. Here, your place in Knoxville, or a new place."

"Right. Well...a new place would be expensive. There's no point in a getting a new place when it's gonna cost so much, at least not yet. We've both got apartment that we love already that can hold two of us. So it makes sense to go with one of them."

"Yep. I don't know what might be best. If we choose here, what about your apartment? Would your parents handle the return to the landlord?"

"Yeah, they would. I don't know, Jack. I know you've never seen my place, so maybe you should before we make a decision. I'd be happy with whatever you choose."

Jack smiled and picked up his wine glass. "You're sweet, Ennis. I love you so much...and I'm looking forward to living with you. I was so worried when you told me about Mike threatening you. I know that you're strong, and that you can defend yourself. But...we're talking about your job. I mean...these guys could hurt you just for being who you are. The thought of that sickens me, and I'm scared for you. I don't want you getting beaten up for it..."

"Hey," Ennis soothed, kissing the back of his neck. "Calm down, Jack. Even if I do get hurt, it'll be fine. I'll still come home to you next year and we're still gonna be together. That's just how things are supposed to be, you know?"

Jack nodded. "I can't help it, though. I worry for you because I love you. I don't want to see you hurt, but if you are...I'll be there for you. I promise you that, Ennis. I mean...I'll take care of you."

Ennis smiled and squeezed him again. "I know you will; that's why I'm not so scared of them beating me up. But I worry about what they'll say; that'll probably hurt more."

Jack turned around so that he could face Ennis. "Baby...can we not talk about this tonight? It's your first night back, so...can this be just about us tonight?" Ennis smiled and kissed him.

"Sure, darlin'. Let's finish the wine and then we'll go to bed, okay?" They nodded in agreement and did as he'd suggested.

When the tub was empty and the wine had been finished, Ennis held out his hand to Jack with a smile. They had both loved their session on the sofa earlier, but there was nothing like the real thing. It had been so long, and they had missed each other. "Come on, darlin'."

Jack grinned at him. "What are you gonna do with me, huh?" he asked lightly, pressing up close against his lover's warm body.

"I'm gonna drag you into that bedroom, lay you down on the bed and show you how well I can move a bed," Ennis replied, smirking. "That wall's gonna have marks on it from the headboard."

"Sounds good to me," Jack told him, grinning and kissing his neck. "Come on then." He put his arm underneath Jack and lifted him up into his arms. Jack laughed and held onto him.

"Steady on, sailor. Don't drop me..." Ennis looked at him.

"I'd never do anything to hurt you, Jack. You know that." Jack kissed him gently, holding on tight.

"I know you wouldn't, Ennis. Come on..." He allowed Ennis to carry him into the bedroom, where he had been alone for so long. Now he had the man he loved where he belonged.

* * *

_October 9th, 2010_

On the Saturday, Jack was driving Ennis up to his parents' place on Ocean Drive, near the coast. It was a beautiful day despite the late month, and he could tell that Ennis was very nervous.

"Jack, are you sure they're gonna like me?" he asked for the third time as they neared their destination. Jack smiled and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Baby, calm down. They're gonna love you...not least because you make me happy." He saw Ennis nod and knew in his heart that he was right.

By the time they reached the area, Ennis was still visibly nervous and looking out of the window at the sea to calm himself. Jack liked it a lot up here, with it being so different from the city, but he couldn't imagine living in a place like this right now. He loved city living too much to be somewhere quieter, and he wondered how Ennis felt about that. He knew nothing of the area where Ennis lived, and made a mental note to ask about that.

He found his parents' house and parked up, stretching after the long drive. "Damn, forgot how long it takes. But I wanted you to see the view, so..."

"It's beautiful," Ennis admitted, admiring the clear blue sea to his right. Then he smiled at Jack. "I'm nervous, but...I really wanna do this." Jack nodded and they got out, ready to face his parents and hopefully get a seal of approval.

Jack led Ennis to the front door of a beautiful one-storey, which had white brick and a wrap-around porch. It was nestled in this quiet part of the world, so far away from the bustling city where they had spent all of their time together so far. "What d'you think?" Jack asked after he knocked, looking for Ennis's reaction.

"It's something else," he replied, nodding. "It's beautiful, like I said just now." They heard footsteps and he felt his nervousness returning. Jack squeezed his hand.

The door was opened by a middle-aged redheaded woman, who smiled widely when she saw Jack. "Oh, honey...come here!" She hugged him tightly and then looked at Ennis, knowing that her son wanted her approval for his choice of partner. "Well, you certainly look like a sailor. Tall and handsome, for one. I'm Karen, Jack's mom. Welcome, Ennis."

"Thank you, ma'am," he replied, shaking her hand. "Beautiful house."

"Thank you very much; come on in. John! Jack's here with Ennis," she called as she led them inside. "You two make yourselves at home, okay? I'll get us something to drink, and dinner will be ready soon."

"Great," Jack replied, smiling at her. "What d'you think?" he asked Ennis when she was out of earshot. Ennis nodded.

"She's really nice." Jack's father came into the room and he stood up. "Um...afternoon, sir."

"Hey there. John Twist Sr. So you're the one making my boy pine...well, as long as he's happy I don't care. He says you're being good to him." John smiled and shook Ennis's hand. He sat down to talk to Ennis about where he was from, and Jack marvelled at his luck. Ennis was the first person, male or female, that he had ever brought home to meet his parents and they seemed to like him. He was certain that dinner would go well.

"So, Ennis..." Karen started as they began to eat. "Jack told us about your problems with your co-worker. I sure hope it won't get too bad."

"Me too," he replied. "I'm not sure yet what's going to happen, but...I got myself into this so I should be able to just take it. Besides, I've got nothing to be ashamed of. I love Jack, and if they can't handle that it's not my problem."

"Quite right," she told him, smiling. Approval was written all over her face, and Jack was quite relaxed. He knew his father would be a hard nut to crack, though. John was fine with the relationship, but it was clear that he wanted to know the kind of man Jack was settling down with.

"Ennis...what's your plans for when you finish up? Workwise, I mean."

"Well, um...I'm not sure yet but I know I'd have to take into account where me and Jack decide to live. Then I can start looking for something in the area. When I was a kid, I always wanted to join the Navy so I've never had any other kind of dream job. Not sure what I'll be going into...but I want you to know that I'll always be good to Jack. I know he can take care of himself, but...sometimes I want to do it for him and we're fine with that."

John nodded. "Glad to hear that. Everyone needs someone to be there for them," he replied, lifting his glass at his wife in a toast. Jack smiled and wondered what it would be like if he and Ennis got married. Hopefully, they would have a long and happy life together like his parents had. He knew in his heart that this would be the case.

"Anyway...I wanna thank you for inviting me to come. I know you weren't always okay with a long-distance relationship because of Jack missing me, and...I want you to know that it means a lot that you accept it. Makes me feel better about leaving him alone for so long because I know he's got you guys," Ennis told them, and even though he was trying to get in their good books, Jack could tell he was still being sincere. Karen and John exchanged a knowing look and Jack smiled at him.

"Well, I think we should propose a toast," Karen said, lifting her glass and the others following suit. "To Ennis and Jack, and also to love and family."

"Hear, hear," they replied, and Jack caught Ennis's eye again as they drank. He was so happy, and very much looking forward to what the future might hold.

* * *

"That went well," Ennis commented as they walked through the door. "I enjoyed it."

Jack smiled and locked the door behind them, feeling very happy. He had always wanted Ennis to meet his parents, and it had gone so much better than he ever could have hoped for. "Yeah, so did I. And...I think they really like you, Ennis."

"I sure hope so...I really wanted to impress them." He coaxed Jack into his arms, locking his fingers together around his lover. "You think I did?"

"Of course," Jack told him, wrapping his arms around Ennis's neck. "Ennis...I really wanna thank you for coming with me. I want you to know that it means a lot to me..."

"Jack, I didn't go just for me, or even for them. I went for you, because I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to see more of your life, you know?" He cupped Jack's cheeks. "And I wanted to see where you got your good heart from, darlin'."

Jack smiled widely at him, feeling happier than he had in months. "I love you so much, Ennis. Thank you for coming with me. I wanna meet your parents one day, too. When we've got the time, obviously." Since he and Ennis were very serious about each other, he figured that it only made sense for them to integrate into each other's lives as much as possible. One day they would probably be married, so they might as well lay the foundations now while they were waiting to be together every day.

"Sounds great. I have told them about you and they wish us well. Even my dad's okay with it despite being a military guy, so that's a good sign. He's happy for us. So...maybe one day it will happen." They kissed and then Ennis sighed. "You wanna go to bed yet, or sit down for a while?"

"I'll get some wine," Jack replied, grinning. He went into the kitchen while Ennis sat down, stretching. He had enjoyed meeting Jack's parents a lot, and he was starting to believe that things would work out for them. He did want to marry Jack one day and he knew now that his future in-laws would be okay with it; they seemed to like him. He had wanted their approval for a long time and now he had it. Things were looking good for his relationship with Jack, and that made him happy.

Ennis wasn't sure why he kept thinking about marriage when he and Jack hadn't spent much time together, but it didn't scare him. He loved the idea of being tied to Jack for life and he hoped that Jack might feel the same. But he didn't know when might be an appropriate time to ask, given that they had spent less than a month in each other's company so far. It was definitely too soon for that. But that didn't mean that it would never happen; he and Jack loved each other very much and it was a natural step to take.

He was shaken from his thoughts when Jack came back in, carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Here we go. I know that red wine makes you horny, but I'm prepared to take that risk," he said with a smirk as he sat down. He did secretly like it when Ennis was all over him, after all.

Ennis grinned and they moved closer together. "This is nice," he said softly as they sat back with their wine. Jack curled up against him.

"Yeah, it is. This is the kind of thing I've always wanted, Ennis. A quiet life with someone I love. I mean, I like going out but I'm not a kid anymore. When I was in college, I went out every weekend and got myself plastered. But now...I want something different. I want to settle down with someone...you."

Ennis nodded. "That's what I want too, Jack. I want to be with you so much, darlin'. Just another year left...and then we'll be together every single day." He kissed Jack's forehead and heard him purr. "I just...can't wait to find out what it's like. Waking up with you every morning, and going to bed with you every night. It's gonna be great."

"It really is. Tell me something, Ennis. Do you ever think about us...getting married one day? It's popped up now and then since we got together and...I wanted to know what you think."

"Well, um...yeah, I do," Ennis admitted. "I always wanted to get married to someone I love, and...because of the way things are now I don't have to marry a woman. So...what do you think about it?"

"I wanna marry you one day, Ennis. I really do...but it's a little too soon. I mean, we haven't spent much time together. But I can see it happening one day," he added, squeezing Ennis's hand. "I really can, Ennis. It's what I want more than anything."

"I know. And I'm not gonna put pressure on you," Ennis assured him. "It's good to know that it's on the cards, though. I'm fine with that. Anyway...since we got that dinner out of the way, we can have the rest of the time to ourselves. I know that Richard wants to meet you sometime, but other than that...what else are we gonna do?"

"Well, we could go on a cinema date, like we talked about. It'll be dark, so we could always make out at the back if we don't like the movie. That sounds like fun."

"Right. Anyway..." Jack looked at his watch and grinned. "Look at that...it's time for bed. You wanna join me?"

"Alright, but we're not sleeping right away," Ennis replied, standing up. "We're having some time together, you and me."

Jack grinned at him. "Sounds good to me." He took Ennis's hand and led him into the bedroom, giving him that familiar lustful look that he had missed so much during their time apart.

* * *

_October 16th, 2010_

It was time for Ennis to leave again, which he wasn't looking forward to. They had spent two amazing weeks together which had been a relief for both of them after the past six months.

Jack's birthday had been as wonderful as promised; he and Ennis really had spent the entire day in the bedroom with only a break for the bathroom now and then. They had even ended up having sex in the shower during this time before going back to bed.

Now it was over for another six months, and they would go back to pining for each other. This was always hard for both of them, but after the fortnight they'd spent together they were closer than ever. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time.

Jack was sitting on his bed while Ennis finished packing, watching him sadly. "What time do you have to go?" he asked, and Ennis sighed.

"Half an hour," he replied, feeling as if his heart would break at the idea of leaving Jack again. He hated being away for so long with only phone calls and letters to sustain him, but at least each trip home brought them closer to being together for good. "Wish I didn't have to go..."

"Me neither. I loved the last two weeks, Ennis. It was great to spend so much time with you and I know...that we probably won't have so much time on your next visit. Doesn't happen often, right?"

"No," Ennis admitted, straightening up. "We'll probably only get a few days the next time, but I hope it's for our anniversary again like last time. That was great."

"Yeah, it was," Jack agreed, smiling. Then he patted the bed with a smile. "Come here." Ennis sat up on the bed with him and Jack rested against him, sliding one arm around Ennis's stomach. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too," Ennis replied, returning the embrace. "I'm really worried about what Mike's up to, if I'm honest. He makes me nervous."

"Yeah, but at least you've got support on the ship. The captain's on your side, and there's Richard. He's a really nice guy, like you said." He had met Ennis's friend a few days before and had got along well with him. It eased his mind to know that Ennis had a friend on the ship that he could talk to when things got too bad. "I just want you to be happy, bud."

"I am happy with you, Jack. It just gets really hard for me to be without you. I keep thinking about what a great time we have together and it just hurts that we don't have even longer. I know we've really lucked out this time but that's rare. And I hate being without you."

Jack sighed and nodded. "Yeah, same here. But you know what?" he asked, sitting up. "It'll be okay. Just six more months until your next visit, and then after that just another six until you're here for good. That's something to think about, right?"

"Yeah, it is. I can't wait to be back with you." Ennis smiled at Jack and kissed him. "Anyway..." He lay back on the bed, bringing Jack down with him and turning onto his stomach. "I'll remember this face when I'm alone," he said softly, tracing Jack's jaw with a finger and smiling down at him. "It'll help me to feel a little less lonely."

Jack suddenly sat up, remembering the shirt he was keeping. Maybe it was time for Ennis to know where it had gone. "I've got something to show you." He got up and reached into his bedside table, pulling out the folded shirt. Ennis stared at it.

"Is that my...?" he asked, and Jack nodded.

"I took it when you were last here, when you were in the bathroom. I just...I get lonely without you and I was having trouble sleeping. So I took it and...it really helps," he said quietly, sitting down again. "I hold it when I'm asleep and it smells like you so...you know..." He looked up. "Are you mad at me for stealing your stuff?"

Ennis thought it was the most romantic thing he'd ever heard, and he completely understood why Jack had done it. "I'm not mad," he assured Jack, shuffling over. "I can see why you did it, Jack. And if it helps you, then that's okay. You can keep it," he added, stroking Jack's cheek. "Can I take one of yours?"

Jack nodded. "Sure, help yourself," he said, smiling as Ennis went to retrieve an old shirt from the wardrobe. "You think it'll help you sleep?"

"Worth a shot," Ennis replied, putting a white shirt into his bag. "It smells like you..." Then he looked at his watch. "Shit..."

"Is it time?" Jack asked, standing up now and trying not to feel too heartbroken. Ennis nodded.

"Yeah. I've gotta go, bud..." Jack followed him through the apartment and to the door, sighing. Ennis opened it and put his bag down for a moment. "Come here..." He drew Jack into his arms, squeezing him tightly and wishing that he could imprint this moment on his mind forever. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Jack replied, trying to keep his tears at bay. "Take care of yourself, Ennis. Don't let Mike get you down too much, you hear me?"

Ennis nodded. "I'll try. And...we should both remember that when I come back in April, then the next time you see me after that will be for good. We've gotta keep looking forward, Jack."

"Yep." They let go and kissed deeply, sealing their promise to hold on despite how hard it would be. "See you in six months..."

Ennis picked up his bag and nodded. "Bye, darlin'." Jack watched him walk down the corridor and to the stairs until he was out of sight, and then sighed as he realised that there was no going back now even if he wanted to; he had it bad for the man.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_Wednesday, October 20th 2010_

_It's only been four days, but it still feels like a lifetime. I'm still not sure where exactly we're headed this time, but I do know we're making our way towards Russia. I'd like to see that country; I love going to new places and this is part of why I wanted to be in the Navy._

_But I'm still not without problems. Mike is still making me nervous every time I see him, and I know he has this hold over me to keep quiet about his threats. I wonder if Jack was right after all; that Mike will use this to proposition me again. I hate the thought of cheating on Jack, even if he knows about it; I just can't do that to him._

_Being with him for an entire fortnight was amazing, every single day. I never thought that I'd get to spend so much time with him while still in my contract, so it was a nice surprise for both of us. I think we adapted really well to living together, like it was a trial run for the real thing; I loved helping him with all the domestic stuff and I know he did too. When we live together for real, I know we can make it work. _

_I'm really happy that his parents seem to like me, and that they've given us their blessing. It means a lot to me to be accepted by them, and I really hope that when Jack meets my parents that they do the same thing._

_I keep thinking about where we're going to live when I'm out of the Navy, and I know we agreed to take a look around my apartment before deciding. But lately I've been feeling homesick. I miss my parents and my apartment, even the neighbourhood. It's been years since I set foot there and I would love to go back. But I don't know how Jack feels about that; he might not want to even if he sees it first. I want him to be happy most of all, so if he doesn't like my place then that's the deal-breaker. I want to live with him, and I want him to be happy with our home._

_It's not easy to be away from him for so long, and I was quite surprised by him taking my shirt. But I can understand why he did it, and if it helps him to sleep then that's fine with me. I should know how hard it is to be away from someone you love, which is why I took one of his. I've slept with it every night since getting back to the ship and maybe it's all psychological, but it somehow works. I really do feel less alone because it's almost as if he's here with me._

_I just don't know what to do about Mike. I really worry about the upcoming Halloween party and what he might do when he gets drunk again._

Ennis sighed and put his pen down, not really knowing what to say next. He was always going to live in fear of what might happen when alcohol was involved, given Mike's track record for not being able to handle his liquor. But Ennis realised he could just hide away in his room during the party; maybe then Mike wouldn't be provoked into saying anything. But would that be enough to stop him? If Mike was going to oust him to everyone then he might as well be there for it.

He heard his phone beep and looked at the screen; it was from Jack. He loved how they could correspond like this without anyone sneaking looks over his shoulder or eavesdropping on his conversation.

_I love you xxx_

Ennis smiled; there was no need for Jack to have said anything else. Those three words were perfect, and he quickly texted back.

_Love you too xxx_

He wished that he could still be there with Jack, holding him close and kissing him. They'd had a lot of sex over the two weeks of his shore leave, mostly on Jack's birthday, and he felt closer to Jack than ever before because they knew each other so intimately. He knew he was very lucky to find someone who he not only had amazing sex with, but who he also cared about. It wasn't easy to find that combination so he wasn't about to go risking what he had by giving in to Mike. It just wasn't worth hurting Jack like that.

_I was thinking, could your folks send photos of your place? Don't get enough time off to go visit and I wanna see your place so we can think about where to live xxx_

Ennis thought it was a perfect solution; this way, Jack would be able to get a sense of what his apartment was like and if he might want to live there. He knew that Jack would like the place, so maybe it would be enough. His parents could certainly send photos to Jack through email; they certainly wanted to get to know Jack better and he figured it was only fair since he had met Jack's parents. One day, their two families would be united so they might as well make a start on that.

_Sure, good idea. I'll tell them right away and give them your email address. I know you'll like it xxx_

Ennis so wanted to live with Jack and he knew that the next twelve months were going to drag by because that was just how it worked. He didn't know how much time they would get in April but he knew it wouldn't be two weeks again; that was very rare. Still, a few days were good too because at least he got to be with Jack every day. He had no idea what it would be like to live with Jack for more than two weeks, but he couldn't wait to find out.

* * *

A little later, there was a knock on his door and he looked at it warily. "Hello?" he asked, hoping that it wasn't Mike. To his relief, it was Richard who opened it.

"Hey, just wanted to check that you're okay. I know that Mike's been looking funny at you again."

Ennis waved him in and allowed him to sit down. "Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know what's gonna happen but I'm trying not to panic right now. He'll probably get drunk at the Halloween party again and then he'll expose me."

"Are you still gonna go?"

Ennis shrugged. "Don't know yet. Thought about just hiding away...that if he doesn't see me while he's drunk he won't be provoked. But then...if he's gonna do it anyway at some point I might as well be there to take it. Jack's always saying that I'm really strong...I don't know if that's true but I might as well try and live up to that."

"He's a nice guy," Richard said, smiling. "And it's clear that he loves you very much. I'm happy for you, Ennis. My brother still hasn't found anyone that can make him happy."

"Yeah...he does make me very happy, despite all these issues," Ennis replied. "At the end of the day...we want to be together and that's just how it is. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

"Good for you; not everybody feels like that about someone," Richard told him. "That's how I feel about Claire..."

Ennis nodded. "How's it going for you guys?"

"We're good. We've been talking about living together too, since I live in a different state like you do. So who knows? Maybe we'll both get that happy life."

"Sounds good. I've been thinking about me and Jack living in Knoxville...I know we said we'd visit my apartment so that we could decide, but...I really miss my place, and my parents. To be honest, I really want to live back there again but how the hell do I say that to Jack without him thinking that I just want to take charge and have everything my own way? I don't wanna hurt him."

"Well...I'm sure that if you explain to him how much you miss it, he'll understand. He didn't seem the type to blow up at you over something, especially not this. Does he even have a temper?"

Ennis smiled. "I've never seen it; he's never even snapped at me. Maybe it's because he's so happy, I don't know. But yeah...he really is calm about everything and he'll at least hear me out if I say it right. Anyway, he texted me earlier asking for photos of my apartment because he might not get the time to see it before we have to decide. So I sent his email address to my parents along with his request and my mom said she'll get onto it. I really hope they like him when they meet him, since Jack's parents liked me."

"I'm sure they will. So...do you guys talk about getting married at all? I mean, it's not legal in Florida but it is in Iowa, where you live."

"I know, and maybe that's part of why I want us to live there," Ennis admitted. It had been weighing on his mind for a while. "The thing is...when we talk about it, it's always in a hypothetical way. We talk about it happening one day in the future, really far away. I guess there's a part of me that wants to propose to him, but I know it's way too soon for that. I don't wanna scare him off, not now that things are going so well for us. I like how things are going."

"That's great, but you're right. You don't want to put a load of pressure on him. What about next year, when you go back for good? Maybe you could do it then, since you guys are already living together?"

Ennis thought it sounded perfect, and it might also be good timing. But marriage was a huge deal and he didn't want Jack to feel like he was being forced into it. What if Jack only said yes so that he didn't break Ennis's heart? If he said yes, Ennis only wanted it to happen because Jack truly wanted to marry him and was ready for it. He knew that Jack wanted to, since he had said so, but they had never put a time frame on it. Jack had made no indication that he was ready for that step yet, and Ennis respected that.

"I don't know...maybe," he replied, shrugging. "I'll give it some more thought...maybe once we decide where we're gonna live, that might help. I just don't want to go doing something that'll freak him out and cause us to break up. I'll never forgive myself if I lose him because I wanted to rush things. I can't lose him..."

Richard sighed. "Well...you're probably right. It's clear that you guys love each other a lot, but you can't rush the big relationship things, like moving in and marriage. Sometimes, rushing into marriage might work, but sometimes it doesn't and there's no guarantee which one it'll be for you guys. I'd say wait until this time next year when you return for good, and see how you feel then. If you're sure he'll say yes, and because he wants to, then go for it. You never know...but I think it would be perfect for your return. To come back and start your life with him by not only moving in with him, but by getting engaged too. Talk about a happy ending."

Ennis smiled at him, thinking about what it might be like to propose to Jack. He did want to, very much, but he understood that he couldn't rush it. There was plenty of time to prepare for that, and he knew that when he was ready to ask the question, Jack would be ready to hear it.

* * *

_October 31st, 2010_

Ennis was nervous, and for good reason. The Halloween party would be starting soon and he had a bad feeling about it. What if Mike exposed him after drinking too much? There was a high possibility of that, after all.

There came a knock at his door and he opened it to find Richard there. "Hey."

"Are you gonna make an appearance tonight?" he asked, and Ennis bit his lip.

"I thought about it, but...what if he gets drunk and exposes me?" That was his worst fear at the moment; Jack wasn't here to support him.

"It might happen," Richard admitted, leaning against the door frame. "But you know what? You can't let this idiot ruin any fun you might have on here. We don't get a lot of this with working all the time, so you should make the most of it and stop hiding away. He's not worth it."

Ennis knew he was right; Jack wouldn't want him to hide away and have no fun. He was by no means a coward, and he was sick of being scared all the time. "Alright, then. Let's get moving." He stood up and Richard clapped him on the back as they left.

They found the party already starting by the time they got there, and sure enough Mike was there downing shots with his friends. Ennis sighed and wondered what was going to happen tonight.

"Just try to have fun," Richard advised him, and Ennis nodded.

Mike then glanced at him, swaying slightly, and Ennis felt his blood run cold. "Speaking of strange things...how you doing over there, Ennis? Heard from your boyfriend lately?"

Richard looked at Ennis, whose face had paled. "You wanna leave?" he asked quietly, and Ennis shook his head. He had to face this now. He didn't notice Richard slip away out of the room.

"That's right, folks. Ennis over there is a queer, seeing someone in Jacksonville for nearly two years now. He told us about having a girlfriend, and he was lying." There was a murmur going around the room, making Ennis wish that the ground could open and swallow him up. "That's why he's always so cagey about where he goes and who he's talking to on his phone."

Mike slipped off the stool and walked over to him, albeit shakily in his state. Ennis stood his ground, watching Mike with hatred and fear. "You fucking queer," Mike slurred, and Ennis had half a mind to tell the onlookers the truth behind this feud.

"Shut your mouth," he growled, eyes boring into Mike's. "I'll tell them about you if you don't leave me alone."

Mike sneered at him and stepped back. "You wouldn't dare. People like you...they don't deserve a good life like us. You should pack your bags and start swimming back to your queer lover. You don't belong here."

Before Ennis could defend himself, Mike had punched him and he was on the ground, groaning. Several people helped him up, to his surprise; he saw that they were the quieter group he'd spent time with before. Maybe he had been right about them, after all.

"Leave him alone, Mike," said one of them, glaring. "Who he is...that's none of your business."

"You want some?" Mike replied, stepping closer and raising his fist.

"Knock it off!" came a harsh, commanding voice. They turned to see that the captain himself was there, and all straightened up in his presence. Ennis was holding a cold cloth to his cheek that someone had given him, and the captain looked at him. "What happened, Ennis?" He noticed that Richard was there, and wondered if he was the one who had summoned the captain.

"Mike just told everyone about me being gay, then he slugged me," Ennis replied, wincing. The captain nodded.

"Right, you lot. I've turned a blind eye to your parties so far, because I know how hard it is to be away for so long. I even let you drink as long as you control yourselves. But I will not tolerate violence or homophobia on my ship. This will not go on and anyone who engages in it will be harshly punished. I'm aware of what the law says, but the upholding of it at sea is at my discretion. I decide on what happens in these circumstances. Ennis had already been threatened and blackmailed with exposure, and I will not allow this."

"You're gonna let him stay?" asked Mike, looking furious. "That's not right."

"Quiet," the captain replied. "Jones, I want to see you in my office first thing tomorrow morning. Go back to your cabin and sleep it off. As for the rest of you...if I hear one thing about Ennis, or anyone else for that matter, being harassed in such a way, the culprit will find their job to be at risk. Got that?" The group all nodded and replied their assent. "Good. Now then...the party can continue, but you're all to return to your cabins by midnight." He left the room and Ennis sighed, glancing at Richard.

"How did he know? You had something to do with it, didn't you?"

Richard shrugged. "As soon as he started, I slipped outside to the in-house phone and got them to send the captain. I just said that there was gonna be trouble tonight and told them where. I didn't know that he knew about the parties, but I guess he's cool with it as long as we behave."

"Yeah, he's a decent guy. Thanks for doing that, but...I don't wanna stay now." Ennis looked around him; some of the guys were looking at him in an unfriendly way now that they knew the truth, and he didn't want to be here. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Sure," Richard replied, nodding. "See you tomorrow." Ennis left the room and headed straight for his cabin; he had to talk to Jack tonight to let him know what had happened. He needed to hear that beloved voice.

* * *

When Ennis had sat down on his bed and was certain that he was alone, he dialled Jack's number and hoped that he wasn't out; Jack hadn't mentioned going to a party tonight.

"Hey, bud. Thought you'd be drunk by now with your friends," Jack said when he picked up, clearly happy to hear from him. Ennis sighed.

"Jack...it's happened. Mike was drunk and he told everyone."

"Oh shit..." Jack groaned. "Ennis, are you okay?"

"He punched me, but it doesn't hurt so much now. I'm more worried about what'll happen now. There was a lot of people there and they heard everything."

"Okay...I know this is really bad, but try not to worry too much, okay?" Jack told him. "Just tell me what happened. What did he say?"

"Told them I'm a liar, since I said I had a girlfriend. And he said I was seeing someone in the city. He said...that I should pack up and go home because I wasn't welcome here. That I didn't deserve to have a good life."

"I'm so sorry," Jack told him, sighing. "What are you gonna do?"

"Well, when Mike started on me, Richard called the captain down and he came in. He told Mike to get out and that he'd talk to him tomorrow."

"That's good. What about the others, though? You said everyone heard it."

"Yeah, but...the captain said that if anyone harasses me for being gay, then when I report it they'll have their jobs at risk, you know?"

"And so they should," Jack replied vehemently. "So he really hit you?"

"Yeah, but I'll be fine. When I landed on the ground, some of the guys helped me up even though they knew the truth. And one of them gave me a cold wet cloth for it. So I guess they won't all hate me, right?"

"Sounds promising," Jack agreed. "Wish I could be there to kiss it better..."

Ennis smiled. "Me too, Jack. But the thing is...I'm scared right now. I don't wanna go to sleep yet because my cabin mate isn't back yet. I can't lock the door on him but...what if someone attacks me when I'm asleep?"

"Ennis...it's okay. If it makes you feel better, stay awake until he comes back and then lock it. Can you trust him not to hurt you?"

"I don't know...no idea how he feels about all this but I know he was there. Hang on, I think he's coming back..." Sure enough, the door opened and his cabin mate was there.

"I just want to let you know...I heard what Mike said. And...I don't have a problem with you being gay. He said you're seeing someone, so...I take it to mean you're not interested in me and...I don't worry about sharing a cabin with you. So...there." Darren nodded and managed a small smile. "We cool?"

"Yeah, sure," Ennis replied. "When are you coming back? I don't wanna lock the door on you but...I'm worried about going to sleep right now with an unlocked door."

"I'll stay for another hour or so," Darren replied. Ennis nodded and watched him leave, sighing.

"Did you hear that?" he asked Jack when he was alone.

"I sure did," Jack told him, sounding happy. "Looks like he's okay with it. See? Not everybody is like that bastard Mike. You've clearly got friends who have more brains than him. They look at you and see their friend, rather than just a gay guy. You were gay when you became friends with them, and they probably realise that you haven't changed at all. The only difference is that you're out now. It would be really petty of them to shun you now, when you've always been like this."

"Yeah, I know," Ennis agreed, nodding. "Anyway, I...I really needed to hear your voice, Jack. I miss you."

"Ennis..." his lover sighed. "I miss you too, baby. Do you know when I can expect the email from your parents, with the photos?"

"Well, it turns out that they're about to go on vacation. They'll be gone from the start of November to the day after New Year's. A long trip that they've always wanted to do. So it'll be in the New Year when you get it. But that's okay, right?"

"Yeah, that's fine. When you get here, we can look at them together. I'm looking forward to seeing what your place is like, bud."

Ennis didn't know how to tell Jack how much he missed his roots in Knoxville, but he knew that he would have to; he was starting to yearn for that place again and he wondered how Jack was going to react. What if Jack liked the look of his place but still wanted to stay put? What if they ended up arguing so much that they called the whole thing off? He didn't want to think about that.

"Ennis? You still there?" Jack asked, and shook himself from his reverie.

"Uh, yeah," he replied. "It's just...I wanna tell you something. But I can't do it just yet. Nothing really bad, so don't worry. Just something I need to get off my chest."

"Alright," Jack said simply. "Just tell me when you're ready to. You know that I would never put pressure on you for anything, Ennis. You can tell me when you get back in April, does that sound okay?"

"Sounds great," Ennis told him. "Thanks, Jack. I'm glad I could talk to you tonight..."

"Me too. Ennis...try not to let them get to you. I know that you're worth so much more than anyone who has a go at you for being gay. I'm proud of you for standing up to him."

"I never told you I did that," Ennis replied, sounding surprised.

Jack laughed. "I know. But I had a feeling, especially since you got punched. Nobody gets that by walking away. I love you, Ennis."

"I love you too, Jack. Night, bud." He hung up and smiled to himself, feeling happier than he had done all day.

* * *

_November 4th, 2010_

By Thursday, Ennis thought that things had quietened down. A few of the others had approached him in the last couple of days, telling him that they didn't have a problem with who he was. He couldn't quite believe how much support he had, but he was very grateful for it.

He'd also talked to the quiet group of guys on the ship, and it turned out that all of them were gay. Two of them were having an affair and trying to keep it under the radar, some were seeing people on shore leave like he was, and the rest were single. They explained to him that they had formed their group in a quiet manner as a means of support in a homophobic environment; he'd had no idea that he'd stumbled across something like this. The group welcomed him and he was very happy to have like-minded friends on here. At least now he would always have someone to talk to; Richard was great but he wasn't gay, and couldn't truly understand what it was like. He knew that Jack would be pleased by him having a support group.

But Ennis got the feeling that it was all too good to be true. He didn't know what had happened with Mike, but every time he saw him he was filled with a sense of dread. There were a few rumours going around, including one that Mike had got the sack and would be staying in the States after their next shore leave. Ennis kind of hoped it was true and didn't feel bad for it; it could easily have been him.

Ennis knew that Mike had several friends, including one who got his kicks from beating up gay men. He hoped he wouldn't be returning to Jack with a black eye or fractured ribs.

As he was mopping up in a corridor, he heard footsteps approaching and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He looked up to see three guys walking towards him, and he recognised them as Mike's friends. "What do you want?" he asked, trying to look brave even though he was scared. Jack would want him to stand up to them no matter how he really felt.

"Mike's gonna get the sack because of you," one of them spat out. So the rumour was true. "His career's over, just like that. And all because of you being a filthy queer."

"Leave it alone," Ennis replied, facing them squarely. "It's none of your business. Mike blackmailed me and threatened to expose me, so I went to the captain for help. But then he told everyone anyway when he was drunk. The captain already gave him a warning to keep his mouth shut; it's not my fault that he can't do that when he's been drinking."

"And now our jobs are on the line," another guy said. "We're supposed to leave you alone, like we can't have an opinion of you."

"You can have whatever opinion you want of me," Ennis said, stepping closer and growing angry. "Just keep it to yourself."

"Make us," the guy snarled. "You can't make us shut up like you can with your boyfriend."

Ennis stepped back. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"We know what you queers like. Filthy stuff," the third one said, giving him a look of contempt. Ennis folded his arms.

"So you never do that with girls?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "It's not exclusive to gay men, you know. None of it is, really."

The first guy who had spoken grabbed him by the shirt and pinned him to the wall. "Now you listen here," he hissed, and Ennis tried to get free but couldn't. "You shut your mouth about our women. You're the abomination around here, and we'll see to it that you suffer for what you are. Here's a little tip; learn to sleep with one eye open, because you'll need to."

"Hey!" came a voice from further down the corridor. Ennis looked to see Richard heading for them. "Let go of him!"

His attacker did so, giving Richard a nasty look. "Are you his bit on the side, then?" Richard stepped closer.

"I'm straight, but I don't like the way gay men are treated by scum like you. Get out of here, right now."

"We don't want to waste our time on this queer anyway," he replied, giving Ennis one more look of contempt before leaving with his cronies. Richard sighed.

"What the hell happened there?"

"I was mopping the floor and then...they just started on me. They said something nasty about me and Jack, about what we do...and I just asked if they did the same thing with their girlfriends."

"You shouldn't have done that, but...at least you stood up to them. I reckon Jack would be proud of you."

"Yeah, but the thing is...they also said that they'll make sure I suffer just for being gay. You know that rumour about Mike getting the sack?" Richard nodded. "Well, it's true. The captain sacked him for what happened at the party. They were really pissed about that."

He went on mopping the floor, and Richard thought for a moment. "Well...at least that's one problem sorted. But now these guys seem to want to pick up where he left off. This can't go on, Ennis...maybe you should report them?"

"I don't know. If I do...there could be more waiting to pick up after them. There have been some guys who support me and don't have a problem with it, but...I don't know how many of them have it in for me. The captain can't go sacking loads of people..."

"No, but...you shouldn't have to take this," Richard pointed out, and Ennis knew he was right. But he just didn't know what he could do that might stop this completely. He was looking forward to next October, when he could leave all of this behind for good and have his future with Jack.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_Friday, November 12th 2010_

_Dear Ennis,_

_I think of you every day, and I want to tell you that I'm so proud to be with someone who stands up for what he believes in. I couldn't believe it when you told me about Mike exposing you at the party, and then that whole thing with those guys in the corridor. It's hard to fathom the existence of people like that in this so-called modern world. Unfortunately, tolerance doesn't always mean acceptance. I bet that most of the ones who hate you are only keeping quiet because they don't want to risk their jobs, which I don't like to think about._

_But at least Mike has been given his marching orders; that's something to be happy about, I guess. Even if he makes trouble for you between now and the next shore leave, at least that'll be it from him. I just wish there weren't more guys like him on the ship, harassing you like that just because of who you are._

_I'm really glad that you take no notice when they say you're an abomination and don't deserve to be there; if you believed it then they would get their way. I'm glad that this isn't the case._

_I can't wait to see what your apartment is like, Ennis. I think it would really help in making a decision about where we're going to live, since you've already seen my place. No matter what we decide and where we live, I can't wait until it happens. Even though we'll have work, we'll still be together every day and I'm looking forward to that. I know we can make each other happy, Ennis...we love each other and want to be together. I don't even care anymore about how little time we've spent together; I know what I want and we've technically been together for nearly two years. Every time I'm near you, I just feel so happy. I love being with you._

_Ennis, I want you to know that even if you are asked to leave the Navy, for whatever reason, I will never think badly of you. Some might look down on you if you had to leave early, including your parents, but I never will. I'll always be here for you regardless of what happens, and I hope you believe me when I say that. I will never give up on you._

_Keep your chin up, Ennis. One day none of this will matter and we'll be happy. Just keep that in your mind when things get too difficult, and you should be able to cope. Think about the life we're planning together, and just remember everything we've been through together. Remember how much I love you._

_Take care, Ennis. Don't let the other guys get to you, and let me know when you have the dates of your next visit. I'm looking forward to seeing you again, especially if it's around our anniversary._

_All my love, Jack xxx_

Jack put his pen down and thought to himself for a moment. He still wasn't sure what to think about the men who had been harassing Ennis a few days ago, but he wished that he could have been there to see them off. But then again, it might have looked bad for Ennis for him to be there, like he couldn't fight his own battles. Jack knew that Ennis was strong and brave, and he would hate for others to get the wrong impression. He had to allow Ennis to go through this by himself, albeit with Richard's help. All he had to do was provide Ennis with his support and love.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing; he didn't recognise the number but picked it up. "Hello?"

"Is this Jack Twist?" asked a female voice, and he wondered who it was.

"Yeah, it is. Can I ask who this is?"

"I'm Sarah Del Mar, Ennis's mother. You're his partner in Jacksonville, aren't you?"

Jack couldn't believe it; he'd never had any correspondence with Ennis's parents before. "Yeah, I am. Pleased to meet you, even just over the phone, ma'am."

"Same to you, Jack. I just wanted to let you know that Ennis did indeed ask us for photos of his apartment to send to you."

"Yeah, he said so. You're on some kind of vacation until the New Year, right?"

"A cruise," she answered. "With Ennis away, we thought we'd take some time together. And when we get back, we'll take some photos and email them to you. Would that be alright? Ennis gave us your address."

Jack smiled. "That would be great, thank you. I want you to know that I love your son very much...and I know we'll be happy together."

"I have no doubt of that, Jack; neither does his father. Ennis speaks very highly of you. It doesn't matter where you decide to live; Keith and I will always be there for the two of you. And...we know about the trouble Ennis is dealing with right now. That man who exposed him...Ennis told us about it all. Jack, I didn't just call to talk about the photos. I also wanted to thank you for being there for Ennis during this time. You've been of great help and support to him and we would be very proud for you to be part of our family."

Jack was truly touched and taken aback by this, and he couldn't wait to tell Ennis. "Well...I don't know what to say. Thank you so much, ma'am."

"None of that, Jack. You can call me Sarah. My husband is a very proud man since his time in the army. But he loves Ennis and wants him to be happy; he's very accepting of Ennis's relationship with you."

"I'm glad to hear that...Sarah. Um, I need to go right now...is that okay?" He wasn't sure if she would take offence at this.

"That's okay, Jack. Hope to talk to you again soon."

"Of course. Bye, then." He hung up and smiled to himself; things were looking up.

* * *

That evening, Jack was sitting on his sofa and watching TV with a beer when his phone rang again; this time it was his own mother. He smiled fondly as he thought about the call from Ennis's mother earlier.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi, honey. Just wanted to know how you're getting on."

"I'm fine," he replied, turning the volume down. "Ennis is doing okay too, considering what's going on."

"I'm glad to hear that. You said that Mike guy got the sack?"

"That's what Ennis said. At first he just heard it as a rumour, but then Mike's friends confirmed it when they were having a go at him." He could feel his blood boil as he thought of those homophobic bigots hurting his partner, and so wished he could punch them.

"That's awful, Jack. Did Ennis report them?"

"No, and I don't think he will. He seems to think that every time he reports someone, they'll get the sack and there's gonna be more people to pick up where the others left off. So it might not do any good in the long run, you know?"

"I see what he means but...he shouldn't have to take this. Does he at least have any other friends besides Richard?"

"Yeah, actually. You know how he mentioned that group of quieter guys on the ship? The ones who never draw attention to themselves? Turns out that they're all gay, like he suspected. It's a kind of group that they formed to protect themselves; they can be completely honest with each other without fearing the repercussions. Ever since the party, he's been spending more time with them and they seem really nice."

"That's great, Jack. I don't mean to sound rude, but...how do you feel about him spending so much time with other gay men?"

Jack smiled. "I trust him, Mom. I know he'll never cheat on me, and those guys don't want anything from him. Most of them are seeing someone and...even if they weren't, they know he's seeing me and they respect that. It's all gonna be fine."

"I'm glad to hear that. How's it going with the photos of Ennis's apartment? Did you get them yet?"

"Not yet, but that's because his parents are on a cruise until January. They'll email me the photos when they get back. Um...Ennis's mom called me earlier, you know?"

"Really? What did she say?"

"Well...she said they'll send the photos when they get back. But she also wanted to talk to me, since we've never met. She wanted to thank me for standing by Ennis while he's dealing with all of this stuff on the ship. She knows it's hard for him so she's happy that he's got me on his side. And I told her that I love him and that I'll do anything for him."

"Oh, Jack...that's great. What about his dad? Wasn't he in the army?"

"Yeah, but even so...he's very accepting of Ennis being with me and he wants his son to be happy. That's what she said, and she told me to call her Sarah since we're almost family. And you know what? She said that they'd be proud to have me in the family." His insides felt warm at the thought of being so welcomed by Ennis's family, and it meant a lot to him considering how unusual their relationship was right now; they didn't see each other for months and yet they were serious about each other. He was happy that both sets of parents were so accepting of it.

"Well, there's nothing I can really add to that. I'm proud of you, honey. And just think...in less than twelve months, Ennis will be back with you."

"I know...I can't wait. We can forget about all that crap he has to put up with on the ship and leave it in the past. It'll be good for him to get away from all of that. And...that's probably why he looks forward to his shore leave visits. Not just to spend time with me because he loves me, but also so he can get away. He never has to pretend or lie with me, and I think that's a relief to him."

"You're probably right. I'm so happy for you two...you've been together for nearly two years now."

"I know...sometimes I can't believe it," Jack admitted. "Feels like a lot less sometimes, but...it doesn't really matter to us anymore. We love each other and want to be together, so that's all we care about. We'll be moving in together and then who knows what else? We could even get married one day."

"That would be wonderful, Jack...but you have to remember that it's not legal in this state. And there's no telling when, or if, it might be. So..."

"We would have to move," Jack concluded, feeling his heart sink slightly. He'd wanted to keep their options open, but this was the deal-breaker. "I know it's legal in Iowa, where he lives. But I think we're getting too far ahead right now, Mom. I mean, we're just talking about living together. Marriage is far off for us right now..."

"I know," his mother replied. "But you have to think about the future, Jack. It makes sense to plan for the long-term. He could move into your place, and then you decide to get married. Either way, you would have to move."

"Yeah...anyway, I'm starting to get tired. Can we talk another time?" he asked, needing to think things through.

"Sure, honey," she replied, seeming to know that he just wanted to escape the conversation. "Good night, and give our best to Ennis."

"Will do. Night, Mom." He hung up and sighed, not paying any attention to the TV anymore. He wasn't sure what to think; living together was one thing, but marriage was a huge step and he didn't know if they were ready for that just yet. But he dreaded telling Ennis this; he didn't want to break his heart.

* * *

_November 28th, 2010_

On Sunday, Jack was sat in the park by himself. He'd found the bench where he and Ennis usually sat when they were here together, which helped him to feel a little closer to his partner. He was willing to use whatever means he had to so that he could ease his loneliness.

He thought about the time next year when Ennis would finally come home, and he wondered what it would be like for them to spend every day together. He just knew that he would enjoy it, and at least they had the blessings of both sets of parents.

"_So what do you think?" Jack asked after telling Ennis about the phone call from his mother. He would love to see the look on Ennis's face at this information._

"_I don't know what to say," Ennis admitted, sounding stunned but happy. "I mean...I knew that they're okay with us being together but I never expected her to contact you like that. I guess it really means a lot to her that you make me happy."_

"_Of course it would; she's your mom and she loves you. Every decent mother wants their kid to be happy, right? You know...I really felt happy about her calling me like that. It's good to know that she accepts us being together."_

"_Jack...even if they didn't like it, I wouldn't care. I got together with you knowing that I wanted to be with you. I didn't even stop to consider how they might feel about it. Maybe that sounds mean, but...it's my life and they know it. I reckon both our parents had their misgivings about us being together, because of the long time we spend apart. But...at least they're happy for us. They know we can make our own decisions."_

"_Yeah, I know. And it's not mean, Ennis. I feel the same, to be honest."_

Jack sighed as he thought of the conversation. They were moving very fast, considering the little time they spent together. He wasn't too bothered by it anymore; he loved Ennis and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He just didn't know if he was ready for marriage right now, because he'd never thought about it before meeting Ennis. Since it wasn't legal in this state, where he had lived his entire life, he'd never thought as far ahead as that.

He wasn't sure what he could tell Ennis; what if he wanted to get married, within the next few years? Was it too soon? He loved Ennis so much and could see them getting married one day, but he didn't think he was ready for it right now.

_I love him so much, _he thought to himself, staring up at the sky. _If he wants to get married after he comes back, I don't have the heart to turn him down. It could really hurt him and I don't want that. But on the other hand...what if he asks me and I suddenly feel like I want to say yes? Would that be getting caught up in the moment; a decision I'll regret later? I'm not sure...but maybe it would be okay. _

Jack was more or less making his mind up about the possibility of Ennis proposing to him. He figured that it would be okay for him to say yes, as long as the engagement went on for long enough so that he could get used to the idea. Ennis would probably be okay with that, or so he hoped.

He sighed; why did it have to be so complicated? He longed for himself and Ennis to have a simple life, where they didn't have to worry about anything and could just be themselves together. Hopefully one day, they would have that and everything would work out.

Jack knew one thing; he did want to marry Ennis one day. He had no idea how things between them might be in a year's time; maybe by then he would be ready to hear a proposal and accept it with full conviction. He knew that Ennis would respect his need for time before the actual wedding if he asked for it, and that was okay. Ennis had always been so considerate of his feelings; that was why they hadn't slept together when they'd first met, despite their strong attraction to each other. He'd known that it wouldn't be fair to Jack to simply sleep with him one night and then be gone by the next morning, as so many sailors did on shore leave.

He wondered what it would be like for him and Ennis to spend the rest of their lives together, without having to worry or pine for each other. Spending every day together would be a dream come true for both of them and he was looking forward to that day.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his jacket; there was a text from Ennis.

_Love you, hope you're doing okay xxx_

Jack smiled at this; he just loved it when Ennis texted him through the day like this, and was very happy that they could communicate during the months they spent apart. If this wasn't possible, Jack knew that it would be even harder for them to cope without each other if they weren't able to talk in any way. He texted back with his smile firmly in place, happy to talk to his partner.

_I'm okay, despite you being far away. I love you too, with all my heart xxx_

He stretched and decided to carry on walking now; he'd needed to clear his head and he figured that he'd achieved this with the fresh air around him. He was certainly decided on what he would do if Ennis proposed to him when he returned for good, and that eased his mind. He would probably accept, and all he needed then was time to get used to it before they reached the date. He knew that Ennis would be okay with this.

* * *

That night, Jack was fast asleep and once more dreaming of Ennis. He'd long suspected that his dreams were caused by him having Ennis's shirt to hold through the night, but this was okay; he loved having a piece of Ennis here with him. It would never be easy for him to be alone here during these six months, but at least he was able to sleep now that he had the shirt. Ennis had told him that having his shirt on the ship with him also seemed to be helping; Jack was pleased that they could do this for each other even when they couldn't be together.

He rolled over in his sleep and unconsciously draped his arm over Ennis's side of the bed, seeming to know that it was where his lover belonged and smiling to himself.

"_I love you," Ennis murmured to him as they lay together on the bed, kissing softly and rubbing against each other. As much as they both loved it when they were actually making love, sometimes the foreplay was just as rewarding. Ennis kissed his neck and trailed a hand down Jack's front, whispering to him._

_Jack smiled and turned his head to give Ennis better access. "Love you too, baby. This feels so good..." He sighed. "Wish you didn't keep having to go away..."_

"_Me too, bud..." Ennis replied, looking down at him. "But just think...soon I'll back with you for good and then it won't matter anymore. We'll forget about the pain we go through and we'll have each other."_

_Jack nodded and widened his legs. "Come on, sailor...show me how you bang that headboard." Ennis grinned and reached for the lube, still nuzzling Jack's neck and drawing a sigh from him. He loved the noises that Jack made when they were together._

_He coated himself and then worked his way inside Jack, careful not to go too quickly and cause him pain. Despite the numerous times they'd done this and how Jack was used to it, Ennis didn't want to hurt him at all. He watched Jack's face closely as he pressed tightly against him, looking for the sign that Jack was okay. "You alright?" he asked softly, and Jack opened his eyes; they were full of love and trust; it humbled him to know how much Jack trusted him with this intimate access._

"_I'm just fine...make love to me," he whispered, kissing Ennis and gasping slightly when he felt his lover move inside him. Ennis kept the rhythm slow at first, knowing that it would tease Jack just enough to drive him crazy. He loved how they could have this effect on each other and he knew that he would never abuse the privilege that Jack gave him by allowing him to do this. He would rather jump off the ship into the cold water of the North Sea than hurt Jack._

"_I've missed doing this with you," Ennis murmured in his ear, nibbling the lobe. Jack sighed and wrapped his arms around Ennis's neck._

"_Me too...it gets lonely without you and more than once...I've thought about trying to get on the ship just so that we can be together. I wish you could come back sooner, even if just for one night. That would be something special and it would tide me over until shore leave." He felt Ennis push deeper into him move faster, and he groaned, feeling his erection rub against Ennis's stomach. "Ennis...please touch me..."_

_Ennis smirked and touched his hand, wondering if he could make Jack beg him for mercy. He felt as if he could get away with that because there was always an undercurrent of trust even when they teased each other. "Not there, you idiot!" Jack moaned, raising his hips. "Ennis...please..."_

_He couldn't keep this up for much longer; he wanted to touch Jack too. He reached down between them and started jerking Jack off, keeping it in time to his thrusts and hoping that they would get there together; he loved it when that happened._

_Sure enough, Jack's eyes flew open and he climaxed just as Ennis came inside him, and their eyes locked together as they shared this moment. It didn't happen like this often, but when it did they felt closer than ever. Ennis sank down onto Jack's heaving chest and sighed in contentment._

"_Oh, Jack...that was..."_

"_I know," Jack replied, sighing too and pulling him close. He kissed Ennis's hair and nuzzled him. "You're amazing, you know that?"_

"_If I am...it's because I'm with you," Ennis told him sincerely. "I never felt amazing before being with you, Jack. You...bring out the best in me."_

_Jack looked at him and watched as Ennis raised his head. "Ennis...nobody's ever told me that before," he choked out, feeling truly touched by the sweet words. "I can't believe it..."_

_Ennis smiled gently at him and stroked his cheek. "Well, it's true. You really do, Jack. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not worth anything, because you're worth so much. You're a good man."_

_Jack felt a lump forming in his throat, and he was aware that his emotions were right at the surface after his orgasm. "Ennis..." He felt Ennis roll off him and pull him into a sitting position, arm around him. "You mean that?"_

"_Of course I do," Ennis assured him, kissing his cheek. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," Jack replied, smiling and feeling happier than ever._

When Jack woke up a little later, he still had the smile on his face and thought about what a wonderful man he'd managed to find. His love life was sorted now; something which he'd previously feared might never happen because of how hard it could be to find someone that he'd wanted to spend time with. But he had Ennis now, and he couldn't be more grateful for that day when he'd decided to take that route through the city that had resulted in him bumping into a sailor.

* * *

_December 4th, 2010_

Christmas was approaching, which Jack was looking forward to. They didn't get much snow down here in Florida, and it wasn't a common occurrence anyway. But he did enjoy the atmosphere that came with the holiday, and he loved going shopping for presents because of it. As hectic as it always was, he still loved being out amongst people who were full of the Christmas spirit.

He just wished that he could spend the holidays with Ennis; Christmas was a romantic time for couples and whenever he saw two people kissing under mistletoe, he couldn't help but feel envious of them. He didn't like being away from Ennis for so long, even though he'd made his peace with it because he knew how important Ennis's job was to him. He wanted Ennis to have that before settling down, and would never ask him to give it up.

As far as Ennis had reported recently, there hadn't been many incidents on the ship lately. He spent his time with either Richard or the group of guys that he'd discovered, so at least he wasn't putting himself in the line of fire too often. But after some coaxing from Jack, Ennis had admitted that it hadn't been easy. Jack would never force Ennis into telling him something, but he had been able to sense that Ennis wanted to tell him anyway; he was just nervous about discussing it because he didn't want Jack to worry. Jack figured it was too late for that.

"_I know you, Ennis. You're trying to keep something from me so that I won't worry about you. Come on; I need to hear it."_

"_Well...a lot of the guys are whispering about me behind their backs. I was in the toilets yesterday and this group came in, slagging me off because they didn't know I was there. And sometimes they'll cross to the other side of the deck to get away from me. I'm just glad that I've got some friends, or else it'd be really hard to cope."_

Jack thought about this conversation as he decorated his apartment, wondering what he was going to do for Christmas dinner this year. He didn't know what his parents might be planning, or Lureen for that matter, but he hoped he wouldn't have to be alone. It was bad enough that the love of his life wouldn't be there.

He knew all too well that Ennis was worrying about how bad things might get on the ship, but was trying to hide his fears so that he wouldn't worry. But Jack figured it was his job to worry about Ennis, as his partner. They weren't simply lovers now, but so much more as well as that; they were planning a future together, after all. He hoped that one day they could have a simple life.

His phone buzzed and he looked at the screen; there was a text from Ennis and that was enough to lift his spirits.

_Three weeks to go, bud. Wish I could find you under my tree this year xxx_

Jack grinned as he thought of a dirty response that he knew Ennis would love; it kept the spark in their relationship when they flirted with each other like this. Jack knew it was very important for them to do that, and he loved doing it anyway.

_I bet you'd like to unwrap me, right? Suck on my candy cane?_

He carried on decorating until he heard another text alert and looked at Ennis's response. If he'd had food or drink in his mouth, he would have spat it out at the mental image that raced in his mind.

_Or cover you in chocolate and lick it all off xxx_

Jack laughed and sat down, having too much fun to concentrate on the decorating right now. He missed Ennis so much, but this was a fun way for them to communicate when they missed each other.

_I'd get one of those mistletoe belts, wear it naked and ask you to kiss me under it :-)_

He bit his lip, knowing how much Ennis would like that image; the man did seem to have a thing for giving him oral and Jack loved it when he did that. He did like the times when he was the one in control, however that might be, but some part of him preferred it when Ennis took over; he liked the feeling of someone taking care of him and making him feel good. But he knew that Ennis sometimes needed that too, and was more than happy to oblige when Ennis asked him for it.

Either way, he knew for sure that he loved Ennis and everything about him; maybe it wouldn't be so scary after all if Ennis proposed to him when he came home for good. He didn't know why he suspected that Ennis would, since he'd made no mention of it, but he knew that Ennis was a romantic and that it would be perfect in his mind. Jack knew that he wanted to marry Ennis, so perhaps he wouldn't be scared or pressured if Ennis got down on one knee for him.

_That sounds good to me xxx_

He smiled and realised that his battery was dying, so he quickly sent a reply explaining it to Ennis and resumed his decorating_, _thinking about the forthcoming holidays and what they might bring for him. He wished that Ennis would get away, even for just one night to make it special, but it wasn't going to happen. Ennis would be away for the next four months, and even though it hurt him to know this, he took a little comfort in the fact that Ennis's next shore leave would be around their anniversary. And not to mention that the next time he saw Ennis after that would be for good; they were getting so close now to their new life together and he couldn't wait for the time apart to be over.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_Thursday, December 16th 2010_

_Dear Jack,_

_I miss you more and more every day, and it never gets any easier. The only thing keeping me going is that I know we'll be back together soon. But I have to admit that having your shirt here with me makes it a little better. I hold it every night and it helps me get to sleep, like mine does for you. I'm glad we can help each other like that, Jack; guess it just shows how much we love each other._

_We're heading for St Petersburg in Russia now, which is a long journey. We're just going through the English Channel right now, past France. I don't know where we're gonna be on Christmas Day, but there's talk that we might stop off somewhere for a day so we can celebrate. There's a possibility it might be in Denmark as we go through, which might be fun. I might be able to buy you a present for our anniversary again. I think of you every single day, and I can't wait until we're back together for good. This time next year, we will be. We'll have moved in together and everything will be okay again._

_I promised you that I wouldn't hide anything from you about how the other guys treat me on the ship, so I'm going to be honest. It hasn't been easy for me lately ever since Mike ousted me. The other guys avoid me, apart from my friends. I hear snide comments when I pass a group of them, and sometimes one of them will approach me and say that I don't belong here._

_I try to spend my spare time with either Richard or those other gay guys, which does help when it gets to be too much. I know I can't hide from the others forever but I just don't want to face them right now; it's too hard. I know that I should probably report them to the captain but I'm just too scared to do it. I'm sure that if they get the sack, there will be more guys waiting to take over from them._

_Anyway, I'm really glad that you got on well with my mom when she called; that makes me happy because they're accepting you as my partner. Maybe one day, we could all go to dinner together, us and both sets of parents. That would be a great way for them to get to know each other since we're together._

_I can't wait to be with you again, Jack. Every day brings us closer together and that makes it a little easier for me. We will be back together one day soon, and no matter how long we have before I have to go again, just remember one thing. The next time we see each other after that, it'll be for good. That's one thing to keep us going._

_I love you so much, and I always will. Take care, Jack._

_Love, Ennis xxx_

Ennis sighed and put his pen down, reading over his letter. He knew full well that Jack had kept every single one of them, and he had done the same for the ones Jack had sent him. They would always keep the letters as mementos of the time they'd spent apart; one day they would look back on it and remember it fondly because the pain would be over by then.

He jumped when someone knocked on the door and wondered who it was, feeling wary.

"Ennis, it's me," a familiar voice called through the door. It was Paul from his group of friends; one of the pair who were secretly seeing each other right here on the ship. Ennis got up and opened the door. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just writing a letter to Jack," he replied, smiling. Paul nodded.

"I've gotta say...it's not easy for me and Jim, having to be so careful all the time. But at least we get to see each other every day. I can't imagine what it's like for you guys."

"It's never easy, but we're coping," Ennis told him. "And I'll be back with him for good this time next year."

"Yeah, that's something. Anyway, I was sent up here to ask you if you wanted to join us for a few card games and a drink. You up for it?"

"Sure. I just want to post the letter first, so I'll come down after that," he replied, thankful that they were so welcoming towards him. Paul nodded and left, leaving Ennis to look around the corridor warily before shutting the door. He was still suspicious that Mike was watching him or stalking him.

He put the letter into the envelope and then left the room, dropping it off for the mail before joined the others downstairs. Now that the truth was out about him, he knew that he needed all the support he could get because of how nasty some of the others could be. It was good for him to surround himself with people who truly understood what he was going through; some of them were also seeing people on shore leave and knew how difficult it was. Ennis soon became aware that this group had a certain feeling of security about it; a solid group that he could go to if he wanted to be himself without the repercussions.

As they played cards, they talked about the men they were all seeing and how they looked forward to the next shore leave. Ennis loved talking about Jack and showing how proud he was to be with someone like that.

Ennis knew that Jack was happy that he had some good friends on here, and he wanted them to meet Jack as a result; no doubt they would get on very well. Being able to talk about Jack made things slightly easier than they had been before, when he was more or less on his own.

* * *

Ennis left the room a little later to go to the bathroom, and found himself face to face with Mike and his friends. Fear ran through him, but he stood his ground. "Are you gonna let me pass?"

"In a moment," Mike replied, his friends blocking the corridor. "Want a word with you first." Ennis folded his arms.

"Alright, then. What do you want?"

Mike stepped closer. "I want you to know...that it's okay for me being sacked, in a way. While you're back on here, I can take my revenge on that little queer you've been seeing."

_No, _Ennis thought fearfully. _Not Jack, please..._

"You can't do that," he replied, trying not to show his fear. "I'll warn him and he'll go to the police. We can get a restraining order."

"What good would that do when he's out on his own, at night?" Mike asked, lowering his voice dangerously. "All it would take is a blow to the back of the head and he'd be a goner. You wouldn't be able to do a thing."

"That's where you're wrong," came another voice behind them, and Mike turned to see the captain standing there, glaring at him. "When you reach land, I have arranged for a few police officers to arrest you for assault, harassment and blackmail. You will be taken back to Texas, your home state, and likely to face a criminal trial for your actions."

Ennis couldn't believe what he was hearing; could this really be true? "Sir, is that right? He's gonna be arrested?"

The captain smiled. "He certainly is. You might be called to give a statement, but I'm sure the police will get in touch with you about that. As for you, Mr Jones...I would advise you to stay away from both Ennis and his partner. Anything you say or do to either of them now will probably be used against you in court."

Mike seemed to know that he wasn't going to win this fight; he gritted his teeth and nodded before moving back down the corridor with his friends. Ennis breathed a sigh of relief. "I can't believe it...I never expected that. And to think that he threatened to...kill Jack..." The very thought made his blood run cold. "I couldn't stand it if he hurt Jack...because of me..."

"He won't do that," the captain assured him. "He'll remain in Texas until you come back for good next October. Then it'll go to trial and it's likely he'll be sent down. When he is released, in time, then you and Jack will be together and you can watch his back."

"We might have even moved by then," Ennis replied, thinking of how he wanted to move back to Knoxville. He still had to talk to Jack about that and he hoped that Jack would agree. "I mean, Mike won't know our address by then so he can't find us."

"I hope you're right, Ennis," the captain replied as they walked down the corridor together. "I'm happy to do whatever I can for the people who truly deserve it. That includes all of the gay men on my ship. I know of the small group that congregate for safety, and that they have welcomed you. I take it you've been spending time with them today?"

"Yeah, we've been playing cards. I just took a break to go to the bathroom."

"When you get back to them, you'll probably want to tell them what happened here. I want to ask you...will you give them a message from me?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Tell them that I fully support them and understand how difficult this is for them. Please tell them that if they ever have any trouble, they can come to me for help like you did."

"Sure, I'll tell them," Ennis replied as they reached the bathrooms. "Thank you for your help, Sir." The captain extended his hand and Ennis shook it.

"You're most welcome. But I do have one request," he added, and Ennis nodded. "Either during the next shore leave, or when you return for good, I would like to meet your partner. I want him to know that he is with a very brave and loyal man, and that he has every right to be proud of your relationship."

Ennis was taken aback, but very touched. "Thank you, Sir. I'm sure he'd love to meet you with all the help you've given me. I'll tell him the next time we talk."

"Okay. Good afternoon, Ennis," the captain replied, walking away. Ennis thought for a moment about these developments and then went inside.

When he was done, he looked around the corridor once more and set off back to the card games. Along the way he bumped into Richard and relayed the earlier events to him.

"So it looks like Mike's gonna be put on trial for everything he's done. The captain didn't say where it will take place, but my guess is Texas because that's where he lives. Either way, I'm gonna be called to give evidence."

"That's great," Richard replied, smiling. "I bet you're really happy that it's more or less over, right?"

"Yeah, definitely. I can't wait to tell Jack about it; Mike actually threatened to kill him. Makes me feel sick to think of that, to be honest."

"I know, Ennis. But you have to remember that it's not gonna happen now. You and Jack will remain safe, and one day you'll be together for good. That's what you have to hold on to."

"Yeah," Ennis agreed, sighing. "I am happy that it's over now, but...I think I'm still in shock, to be honest. I wish Jack was here right now so that I hug him..."

He thought of Jack, who would undoubtedly be smiling when he heard the good news. He loved it when Jack smiled and he was responsible for it; he lived to make Jack happy because Jack did the same for him. Everything was going to be okay now.

* * *

_December 25th, 2010_

It was now Christmas, but they had moved on further than Ennis had initially thought by now. Instead of spending the day in Copenhagen as he had thought, they had made it to Stockholm, Sweden. The captain had given the order that they could spend the day there and that they would move on the day after.

As a result, Ennis found himself walking around a Christmas market and gazing at the beautiful sights around him. It felt good to stretch his legs for once and see what the local area had to offer.

He thought about Jack and wondered how he was spending this day; Jack had talked about going over to Lureen's place to watch a movie or perhaps go to a party somewhere, and Ennis had to admit he was slightly envious. But he was happy that Jack could enjoy himself even though they were apart, and he would call later if he got the chance. He didn't care about the high charges of calling from so far away; it was worth it to talk to Jack for a few minutes.

He found a stall that was selling giant gingerbread hearts with icing, and he knew that Jack liked gingerbread. Looking through the display, he found one that, according to the sign in English, meant "my greatest love":

_Min största kärlek_

Ennis smiled and knew he had to buy this for Jack; it would mean a lot to him. He purchased it and carried on walking; it was snowing here and it felt like a lifetime since he had last seen some. He wished that he could spend time with Jack in the snow; throwing snowballs at each other, making snowmen and snow angels...it would be so romantic and maybe it would happen one day. They did get snow in Iowa so if he and Jack moved there, then they would be able to spend time like that.

As he walked on, he thought about the great news he'd had to share with Jack about Mike's impending arrest. As he'd predicted, Jack had been very happy about it and they were both confident that everything was going to be okay. Ennis did sometimes worry about the repercussions of having the captain's protection like this; it was bound to annoy the ones who wanted to hurt him. But he couldn't hide away and pretend that he was ashamed of who he was. He felt very proud to be with someone like Jack and they made each other happy.

He sat down on a bench to take a break and decided to call his parents; he had been trying to get into the habit of calling them more during his time away. He would call Jack later, when he was alone and could say anything he wanted to.

He dialled his mother's cell number and waited until it was picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom," he greeted her, smiling when he heard her voice. "Merry Christmas."

"Oh, you too honey," she replied. "Where are you?"

"I'm in Stockholm," he replied, looking around. Sometimes he couldn't quite believe that he was in this kind of position; to be able to see the world and get paid for it. Although it wasn't easy to be away from Jack for so long, he coped fairly well. "It's snowing here, really amazing."

"Sounds wonderful, Ennis. I always wanted big things to happen for you, and we're both so proud of you. Your father speaks of you with pride and affection, you know. To his friends from his army days; he even tells them about Jack and how proud he is that you've found someone to make you happy."

Ennis smiled and felt warm inside, despite the chill around him. He did still like to earn his parents' praise, despite his age and independency. It showed that he was doing something right with his life. "Where are you guys?"

"We're just on the ship, getting ready for the big dinner later. They really go all out for meals even at normal times, so we're looking forward to this. I hope you can have something good too; what's the food like on the ship?"

"It's pretty good, but I think I might try to eat something on land for dinner. Try the local food, you know?"

"Good idea. How's Jack doing?"

"He's great. We always miss each other but...it helps to know that we'll be back together soon. And after my next shore leave, the next time we see each other I'll be home for good."

"That's definitely something to be happy about, Ennis. And you said that guy will be arrested, didn't you?"

"I did, yeah. The captain really let him have it and I'm glad for that. Mike...he...threatened to hurt Jack when he leaves. But apparently there's gonna be police there when we land to take him back to Texas. Then he'll have to stay there until I get back in October, and at some point there'll be a trial. But I'll feel a lot better when I'm back in April, so I can make sure that Jack stays safe until Mike is back where he belongs. Then it won't be so hard to leave him again."

"I know you're worried, Ennis. I would feel the same about your father. But just remember that you have many people on your side. It's all going to be okay."

"Yeah, I know. Anyway...I think I'm gonna carry on walking for a bit and then look into some dinner. I'll call again soon, okay?"

"Sure. I'll let your dad know you called, and give our best to Jack."

"Will do. Bye, Mom." He clicked off and stood up, stretching. Then he carried on walking and looking at the beautiful area around him. He silently vowed that if he ever had the money, he would bring Jack to all of these places and more; he wanted to share the experience with the one who meant the most to him.

* * *

That night, Ennis was back on the ship and trying to get to sleep. He'd been at the Christmas party and had drunk more than was probably wise, so he didn't feel too good right now. He wished that Jack could be there to rub his back or stomach; that would soothe him so much right now.

But he was alone and he was used to that by now, unfortunately. His cabin mate wasn't even back yet, and while he had previously been too scared to sleep with an unlocked door, he felt better about it.

Nobody had harassed him for a few days now, which he was very happy about. He guessed that word had gotten around about the captain telling Mike about his criminal charges, so the other guys who hated him were probably too scared to say anything to him now; maybe they thought it just wasn't worth facing the same.

He sighed and wished he could roll onto his back, but he didn't want to do that if he was about to throw up; he'd even placed a bucket beside his bed just to be safe. He pulled Jack's shirt closer to his chest and tried to drop off, but it wasn't easy when his stomach was churning. He knew why he'd drunk so much; he'd been in the mood to celebrate the good turn of events now that he and Jack were going to remain safe. And since his friends had been there, he'd gotten caught up in the whole thing. Still, it had been a lot of fun.

Ennis sat up and knew that he wasn't going to get any sleep anytime soon, so he decided to go for a walk. He got dressed in off-duty clothes and took his phone with him, just in case. Although he and Jack had spoken earlier, he knew it wouldn't be too late in the States and maybe Jack might still be awake.

He slowly walked through the corridors, glad that the ship didn't move at night; he would definitely throw up if it did. When he reached the deck, he sighed as the cold night air hit his face; just what he needed right now.

He walked over to the railings and looked out over the city, which he had loved exploring. There was just something about seeing a brand new place like this which he'd never given thought to before. Having grown up in Iowa, until joining the Navy he'd never really fathomed the idea of there being far-off countries like this. But they were always there in the world, just waiting to be discovered. This was surely a dream job despite how difficult it could be, and he was very grateful that Jack was so understanding of his need to see this through.

Ennis pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Jack's number; he had no idea what time it was there; it was midnight here so maybe it was still early where Jack was.

He dialled Jack's number and waited for a response; Jack soon picked up. "Two phone calls in one day? I'm getting spoiled," Jack said, clearly smiling.

"Hey, bud. Hope I'm not disturbing you...what time is it there?"

"Just gone six," Jack replied. "Still early yet. What about you?"

"Midnight. I can't really sleep. Had too much to drink at the party earlier, you know?"

"Oh, Ennis...I don't know what to suggest. If you feel sick...maybe try to drink some water?"

"Tried that. I'm up on the deck; thought the fresh air might do me good. Seems to be working."

"Good. I guess you had something to celebrate, huh?" Jack asked, and Ennis knew he was grinning.

"I really did. Mike's probably gonna be sent down for what he's done, and we'll be back together soon. Not to mention the holiday season. My friends were there so it was a lot of fun."

"I'm glad for you, Ennis. I don't feel so guilty about having fun, knowing that you're doing the same. If you were still suffering, I'd feel bad about enjoying myself without you."

"You don't need to be, Jack. I'm really doing okay now that this is over. And soon enough I'll be back with you."

"Yeah. So how was the food over there?"

"It was pretty good. Not sure what all of it was, but it was nice. And there's a great atmosphere here, you know? I really liked the market." He still wanted to show Jack all of this; maybe one day.

"I miss you," Jack said suddenly, sounding wistful. "I mean...I think about you all the time. I want you to finish your contract like you need to, but sometimes...it gets really hard."

"What gets really hard?" Ennis asked with a grin, trying to cheer Jack up. He heard Jack laugh.

"You know what I mean, dumbass. But yeah...I'll admit that you're right," he conceded. "I can't wait until you're back home."

"Me neither, Jack. I remember your birthday when we spent all day in the bedroom...that was so much fun, right?"

"It really was. I'd love to do that again, maybe if you're here for our anniversary?"

"Sounds good," Ennis agreed. "I got you something, by the way. I'm sure you'll like it."

"You old romantic," Jack replied. "I love you so much, Ennis. You know what? Now that the other guys know about you, maybe we can go for dinner one night?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Ennis agreed. "You're right; there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. They don't want to go the same way as Mike, so they'll leave us alone. Anyway...I'm feeling a lot better now."

"Glad I could help. Get some sleep, Ennis," Jack told him affectionately. Ennis was touched by how much Jack cared about his wellbeing.

"Yep, will do. Night, Jack...love you."

"Love you too, sailor. Night." Jack clicked off and Ennis smiled to himself before heading back to bed; this talk had done him the world of good.

* * *

_December 31st, 2010_

It was New Year's by now, and they were getting closer to Russia every day. Ennis had heard that the captain was aiming for them to be there by the middle or perhaps the end of January, which meant they would certainly be back in the States by April. He hoped that they could make it back before his and Jack's anniversary so that they could spend it together; last time had been so much fun.

One thing that he needed to do was ask Jack about moving with him to Iowa. He knew in his heart that he wanted to live there again, because he loved it there. But he was also aware that if Jack simply couldn't leave his apartment, then that would be the deal-breaker; he would respectfully stand down and honour Jack's wishes. It meant more to him for Jack to be happy, rather than himself. He did like Jacksonville, after all, and could see himself living there full-time with Jack.

But he would certainly try to ask Jack what he wanted to, and he hoped that Jack would accept. He'd thought about his desire to propose, but it wasn't the right time yet. He knew that asking Jack to live in Iowa would be a big enough request, and that he had to give Jack time to get used to the idea if he did say yes. Asking Jack to marry him would be too much right now and he knew that.

He was shaken from his reverie by Richard calling his name. "Ennis? You in there?" he asked, looking amused as he shook Ennis's shoulder. Ennis blinked.

"Oh, sorry. Was miles away just now."

"Miles away with Jack?" Richard asked with a knowing grin. Ennis looked sheepish but he nodded.

"Yeah. Thinking about shore leave. I'm thinking about asking Jack to move in with me, in Iowa."

"That's great," Richard replied, sitting down. They were on a set of steps up on deck, enjoying the bright, albeit cold, sunshine. "So you're gonna ask him when we get back?"

"Yep. And...I've thought about proposing to him but it's way too soon for that."

"Yeah, probably. You don't wanna scare him, and you don't want him to say yes just so he won't hurt you."

"Exactly. If he says yes, I want it to be because his heart's in it. I want him to be sure of what he's saying. So I'm gonna leave that for now and just focus on asking him to move in with me. Knoxville is so far away from where he lives and he's never lived anywhere but Florida. It's gonna be a huge thing I'm asking of him and I don't know how he's gonna react. What if he just can't do it? I'd be fine with it, but what if he then starts feeling guilty because I wanted to move back and he's holding me back...?" He sighed. "I'm going in circles here, aren't I?"

"Pretty much," Richard agreed, nodding. "Just calm down, okay? We going to that party now? You look like you could do with a drink."

Ennis nodded and stood up, knowing that he could do with some relaxing right now. "Yeah, come on."

They found Ennis's friends at the party, and some of them were wary of Richard at first but Ennis swore to them that he was trustworthy. Soon enough, the entire group was in a corner and drinking, talking about their lives back in the States.

"So anyway...I heard a rumour," said one of them, looking proud of himself. "About Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Wanna hear it?"

"Are they making it even worse than it already is?" Ennis asked, sighing to himself.

"Nope. I heard...but you didn't hear it from me...that there's talk of them repealing it completely," the guy replied, smirking. An excited murmur ran through the group. "A friend of mine works in the government, and he told me. But you can't say where you heard it from, okay? It's all under the radar right now. But you never know...this time next year we might not have to hide."

"Ennis won't have that problem," said someone else, half-smiling at him. "He's gonna be gone by then, right?"

"Yep. I'm settling down with the man I love," Ennis replied, smiling back. "And I can't wait for that day when I go back for good. We're both looking forward to it."

"You'll invite us all to the wedding though, right?" asked Paul, and Ennis nearly choked on his drink.

"What? Who says we're getting married?" he asked, feeling flustered.

"Well, it seems logical to me. You've been together...well, it'll be two and a half years by then. And you're gonna be living together...sounds pretty simple to me."

"Yeah, but I don't know where we'll be living yet. So that influences whether or not our marriage would be legal," he pointed out, but even as he spoke he could suddenly see why it was so important for them to live in Iowa; it was the only way for them to marry legally right now, unless they moved to a different state entirely that also allowed it. Going to Iowa seemed like the best option.

"That's true, but I just figured it was on the cards, given everything you've been through lately." The others nodded and agreed with this, all of them looking at him as if they knew they were making sense.

Ennis smiled weakly and went back to his drink, not entirely sure what to do now. He loved Jack very much but he didn't want to scare him off or make him feel guilty. If Jack accepted a proposal from him, Ennis wanted it to be for the right reasons; that he was ready and willing to get married. Unless Ennis was sure of that, he didn't want to ask Jack just yet. He didn't want to do anything that would put strain on their relationship; he just couldn't bear it if he lost Jack.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_Monday, February 14th 2011_

_It's Valentine's Day today, which has never been easy for me since I met Ennis. I miss him even more on this day and all I want is for him to be here with me. I want a romantic dinner and a walk in the park, or to see a movie with him. Lots of couples take this day for granted because they know they'll be together for it, but I'm always alone._

_Lureen tries her best to cheer me up, and if I were straight and single we might even be together. But I love her like a sister and I know she sees me as a brother, so it's nice to spend time with a woman who doesn't have ulterior motives. Her friendship means a lot to me and I would be a lot lonelier without her._

_But still, it's hard without Ennis on this day. We'll be talking on the phone later but it's never quite the same as when he's here. We've never had phone sex because he's too scared that someone will overhear him. I think he's a little shy about it too, which surprises me considering how he is when he really gets going. More than once I've woken up with a limp because of what we did the night before, but I never complain because I like the feeling of being branded by him._

_He told me once that he knows I'm not his property, despite how he likes to claim me when we're in bed. I told him that I'm his, no matter what he says. He's mine too and we just belong together. I think it's okay to say that we belong to each other because there's always the love and respect we have for each other._

_It's not easy to be without him for so long, but at least we'll be together soon. His parents sent me the photos of his apartment, and I have to admit I really like the look of it. The place seems to be slightly bigger than mine, but it looks very homely and I could see myself living there. Maybe we will, after all. It's a scary thought to leave here because I've only ever lived in this city, but what better reason for moving could there be than love? I would move to another country if it meant I could be with him, because I just can't imagine a life without him now._

_He'll be coming home soon enough, and I know he wants to talk about our living arrangements. It'll be good for us to be back together and I'm looking forward to it. I hope he's back for our anniversary because I want to do something special for a change. We talked about going for dinner, which we can do now because it doesn't matter if someone sees us; they all know about him being gay and seeing me. I just hope that we don't have to deal with any more bigotry._

He put his pen down when he saw his phone buzzing; it was Lureen. "Hey."

"Hey, Jack. My shift just finished and I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner. My treat, since we're both alone on this day. We might as well make the most of it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll wait for you outside my building, okay?" he replied, closing his journal. He had more or less finished for today, and was looking forward to Ennis's phone call later on. He missed that voice every day that he didn't hear it. He liked how closely connected they were even when apart.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You don't sound so good."

"Just lonely," he sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I hate this day at the moment, because I miss him so much and he's miles away. It's just...really difficult to be without him on a day that's all about love and couples...makes me a little jealous to see people so happy."

"I know. But at least you do still have someone. I'm still looking," she replied. "Anyway...I'll come by in about an hour and we'll go and do something. Keep your chin up, Jack."

"Yep." He hung up and stared at the wall for a few minutes, thinking. He had a feeling that when Ennis returned, they would have a serious talk about where they were going to live. He knew that Ennis loved his apartment in Knoxville and there was a high chance that he would ask him to move there. Jack wasn't strongly attached to his place, so it wouldn't be so painful to move. The only thing was that he had some good memories of being with Ennis here. He looked at the sofa and fondly remembered their times on there; not just sex but the numerous times they had curled up together to watch TV or just spend time with each other.

Jack knew that same-sex marriage was legal in Iowa, and that it wasn't here. That might be the deciding factor for where they lived, and he wondered if Ennis was going to propose to him when he got back. Jack wasn't sure how he might react if or when Ennis did; was he really ready to make such a huge step, despite how much he loved Ennis? He didn't know for sure because he knew it would be a lifetime thing. He wanted to spend his life with Ennis, but he didn't know if he was up to the task of being someone's husband.

It was his own insecurities making him feel like this, so he decided not to pay attention right now. All that mattered was that Ennis was coming home soon and he would focus on that. If Ennis asked him to move to Iowa, then Jack would simply reply with whatever he felt in that moment. But he had a feeling that he was going to agree; everything was pointing that way, after all.

* * *

That evening, Jack was on the sofa with his laptop when Ennis called. He was looking through the photos of Ennis's apartment again, grateful to Ennis's mother for sending them.

The apartment was on the sixth floor, which included a balcony. One photo had been taken from here and Jack loved the view it offered. He knew that Ennis had paid the rent before enlisting, and that his parents had taken over for now. Ennis didn't know what he wanted to do after leaving the Navy, but Jack was confident that he would find something.

Jack was just looking at a photo of the bedroom and smiling to himself when his phone rang. "Hey, you. Was wondering when you'd call."

"Sorry, I had some work to do. But I'm done now and alone in my cabin so we can talk. How've you been today?"

Jack sighed. "Lonely, without you. I hated this day when I was single and now...I hate it because we can't be together for it. I miss you so much..."

"I know, darlin'. But just remember I'll be home in a couple of months. Then we can make up for lost time, right?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed, smiling. "And I know we have some things to talk about." He didn't want to ask Ennis if he intended to propose; it might cause tension between them, especially if Jack had been wrong and Ennis started feeling like he _had_ to propose now.

"I know we have to talk about where we're gonna live," Ennis replied. "But I just want you to know...I will love you wherever we decide to live."

Jack smiled and nodded, even though Ennis couldn't see him. "Same to you, bud. Um...I'm actually looking at the photos your mom sent to me. Your place...it really is something else."

"You really like it?" Ennis asked, and Jack thought he could detect some hope in the question but let it go. Maybe Ennis was just seeking approval.

"I do...it's a great place, and that view from the balcony is amazing. It looks...cosy, though. Like somewhere you could easily settle down. I mean...I really don't know how to choose now because I love both."

"That's okay, bud," Ennis assured him. "We've got plenty of time to think about that. I want you to be happy, whether that's in Florida or Iowa."

Jack bit his lip; Ennis must know full well that same-sex marriage was legal in Iowa but not here, and he had a feeling that Ennis would want to take that into consideration when deciding between the two. He hoped that Ennis wasn't purposefully lying to him here, and just avoiding the truth. He wondered if he should say anything.

"Jack, you there?" Ennis asked when he remained silent for too long.

"Uh, yeah. I just...that was really sweet, what you just said."

"Well, it's true. I love you so much, Jack...and I can't wait to spend my life with you."

Jack smiled in spite of his misgivings; he knew that this was true if nothing else. He could rely on the fact that Ennis loved him even if everything else was uncertain right now.

"I feel the same, bud. Wherever we live, I can't wait for our first night together as a real couple, sharing a life together. Can you imagine what it's gonna be like, spending every day together?" he asked, trying to fathom that.

"I don't know what it'll be like," Ennis admitted. "But I know we're gonna enjoy it. I want to be with you as much as possible, Jack. Even with working, we'll still be together most of the time and it's gonna be great. We can make each other happy, right?"

"Sure we can," Jack agreed, smiling wider now. "I can't imagine being with anyone else now. This is it for me, Ennis...for life. If we ever...broke up, I don't think I could be with someone else after. I'd just be reminded of you every day and I don't know if I'd be able to move on."

"To be honest...me neither. But I won't ask you to stay faithful to me if we break up or if I die, because that's not fair to you. I'd want you to have a life, Jack."

Jack sighed. "Ennis, don't do this. It may be the noble thing to say but I don't wanna hear it. I just can't talk about that right now, not when our life together is so close now. Can we just...focus on what we've got right now?"

"Course we can," Ennis replied, sensing that the subject was just too delicate for Jack right now. There would come a time to discuss things like that, but not now; it was too soon. "Anyway...how's Lureen?"

"She's great, but still single. I feel sorry for her, being alone when I'm so happy with you. That's part of why I want to spend time with her; so she doesn't feel so alone. I know it's not a good substitute for a boyfriend, but..."

"You're doing what any decent friend would do," Ennis told him. "And I'm sure she appreciates it, Jack. Did you guys do anything today?"

"We went for dinner," Jack told him. "And it was fun. But the restaurant was full of these couples so we soon got bored of it; we went for a drink in the bar around the corner. That was actually more fun."

"I'm glad you could enjoy yourself," Ennis said. Anyway...it's getting late now; I'd better get to bed. We'll talk soon, okay?"

"Yep," Jack agreed, stretching. "I love you, Ennis."

"Same to you, darlin'. Happy Valentine's Day."

"You too," Jack grinned. "Night, sailor."

"Night, bud." Ennis hung up and Jack sighed, wishing that the time difference wasn't so large. It was already one in the morning where Ennis was and Jack knew he would have to get up early. All he could do was focus on Ennis's next visit and their anniversary; that would help him get through this.

* * *

_February 28th, 2011_

On Monday, Jack was stocking the shelves in the store and thinking about Ennis's visit. He kept wondering how the conversation was going to go if Ennis wanted to talk about their living situation. He did like Ennis's apartment a lot, and he could honestly see himself living there with Ennis one day. But it would be a huge deal for him to leave behind everything he'd ever known, to a place where he knew nobody but Ennis.

He knew that if Ennis asked him to move to Iowa with him, he would probably say yes and not just to avoid hurting Ennis. But if he did say no...he wondered how Ennis might react. He was going in circles and didn't quite know what to do; he needed a woman's intuition right now.

Fortunately, Lureen arrived for her shift soon enough and walked over to him. "Hey, how's it going?" she asked, kissing his cheek. Jack shrugged.

"Not too bad, pretty quiet in here. Been thinking about Ennis all day, you know?"

She smiled. "What about this time? Rattling headboards or something else?"

Jack grinned. "Something else. I keep thinking about what's gonna happen when he comes back. I'm pretty sure he's gonna want to talk about where we're gonna live."

"And you can't decide?" she asked, and he nodded. "Okay...well, you've seen what his place is like. Which do you like better? Which one can you see the pair of you settling down in?"

"I don't know..." he admitted, sitting behind the cash register. "If I'm completely honest...I'm leaning more towards his place. But...I really don't know yet. I've lived in this state all my life, and in this city for so long..."

"Then maybe it's time for a change," Lureen told him softly, nodding. "And what better reason for moving than love? It's very romantic, you know."

"Hmm. I guess so. I know my parents won't try and stop me or anything, and his mom seems to like me. It would probably all work out. But there's one thing I can't stop thinking about with this whole thing."

"What's that?"

"Well...same-sex marriage is legal in Iowa, and not here. So is that gonna be the deal-breaker for us? If he wants me to move in with him, is that the reason? Is he gonna propose to me soon?" he asked, looking up at her, feeling very confused as to what he should do.

"Jack, calm down. You've got no idea what he might be planning, if anything at all. You two have spent so much time together here, so maybe it makes sense for you to live at his place when he comes back for good. Jack...look at where we are right now. We don't exactly have good prospects here, but you might find something better in Iowa. I mean, I might wanna move one day if I want something better, so I would say the same to you. It gets to a point where you just have to leave, for your future. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I think I do," he replied. She did make a lot of sense, and he was glad that he could talk to her. "Maybe it does make sense for me to move in with him. And just because it would be legal for us to get married there doesn't mean he's gonna pop the question the next time he's here, right?"

"It really doesn't. For all we know, Ennis is thinking about the long-term and the possibility of you getting married one day. So that when you are ready to do it, you can get married legally and won't have to worry about the moving later. Surely it's better to get this sorted out now?"

Jack smiled at her. "You're right, Lureen. I don't have any reason to freak out about anything; he's never hinted that I should expect a proposal soon. When we talk about getting married, it's always been a someday kind of conversation. I can see myself marrying him one day, but I don't think I'm quite ready for something so big yet."

"How come?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Until 2004, it wasn't legal for guys like us. So when I realised that I was gay, it never occurred to me that it might ever happen. I've never thought about it because there was a time when I never thought I could. So now...even though there are places where it's legal, I still didn't...it just didn't register in my mind."

"I can understand that. But I have a good feeling that you two will be very happy together," Lureen told him, smiling. "I'm sure it'll all work out, okay?" She went off to take over stocking shelves, leaving him to wonder about his future with Ennis. Maybe it would be a good idea to leave this place after all. Memories didn't live in an apartment or a city; they lived in his heart. He would always remember the times he'd shared with Ennis here no matter where they lived. And he might even get a decent job there; he didn't have many prospects here.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he looked at the screen; there was a text from Ennis.

_Will be back on anniversary, for six days. Looking forward to being with you again, bud xxx_

"What are you smiling at?" Lureen asked as he read the text, and he showed it to her. She grinned, understanding why he was so happy. "Oh...he'll be back for your anniversary. That's great, Jack."

"It really is. I can't wait for him to be here again. Since the other guys all know that he's gay, he agreed that we can go for dinner one night. He's got nothing to be scared of anymore."

He eagerly texted back that he too was looking forward to it, and then decided that if Ennis asked him to move to Iowa, he would most likely say yes.

* * *

That night, Jack couldn't sleep. He just ended up tossing and turning without being able to switch off and he didn't know why. Not even holding Ennis's shirt close to his chest or lying on Ennis's side of the bed could help him, and he eventually decided to give up for a while. He'd heard that when unable to sleep, it was best to get up and do something until he was tired enough to try again.

He slipped out through the sliding doors and onto the balcony, looking out at the city before him. There was a bright moon in the sky tonight and everything was peaceful; it would be so much better if Ennis was here to share it with him.

Jack was so much looking forward to being reunited with his partner, especially now that the problem with Mike had been sorted. There was no way for him to hurt them now and Jack wanted to meet the captain personally so that he could thank him for the support he'd given Ennis.

"_As it happens, he wants to meet you too," Ennis told him over the phone. "He wants to meet the guy who I'm going through all of this for; I said that you were worth it."_

_Jack smiled, feeling suddenly shy at this statement. "Don't know about that, Ennis. I mean...have you looked in a mirror lately? You could have anyone you wanted, and yet...you picked me."_

"_Because I couldn't help but fall in love with you," Ennis told him sincerely. "Even when we first met, bumping into each other...it started right there for me. I felt something, you know?"_

"_So did I," Jack admitted. "Classic case of love at first sight, right? I never really believed in that before."_

"_Maybe it wasn't love at first sight," Ennis reasoned. "Maybe it was attraction, and the love came after, you know? When we got to know each other better, kissing on your sofa."_

"_Yeah, maybe you're right. Either way, I definitely love you now. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Ennis. No two ways about it."_

Jack smiled fondly at this memory; they had lots of conversations over the phone where they just whispered sweet nothings to each other and not much else. But that was just fine; it made them both happier than before and it was a good way to pass the time. Jack couldn't wait to have Ennis's voice in his ear for real; it always sent shivers down his spine, especially when he was on his front with Ennis on top of him.

When Jack had realised that he was gay and started discovering the mechanics of sex, he'd initially been slightly put off by the all fours position; it had looked even more painful than the regular way. But with Ennis, it was different. It did hurt, but not too much; Ennis always knew how to make him feel comfortable and relaxed. He loved the feeling of Ennis enveloping him with his warmth from behind, protecting him even as they made love together. Nobody could hurt him as long as Ennis was there.

He sighed as he leaned on the balcony, looking out. There were a few cars driving around, perhaps people coming back from vacation or on a night shift. He thought about Ennis going to different countries and meeting people who had lived there all their lives; it amazed him to think that right now, somewhere in the world, there were other people in their own towns and living their own lives there, so far away. He was happy for Ennis, to be able to explore these new worlds, and maybe one day they could explore together.

He looked at his watch; it was almost two in the morning, but he didn't have to work tomorrow. Maybe he would go down to the beach for the day while it was fairly quiet. He wished he could go there with Ennis and run into the waves with him, rubbing suntan lotion on his back and enjoying a cold drink. Even if they did move further inland, to Iowa, they could still come back here for a vacation. There was so much that he wanted to do with Ennis and he was happy that they would be together soon. There were still eight more months until Ennis returned for good, and Jack was counting them down.

Eventually, he went back inside and decided to try for some more sleep; the fresh air might have helped. Sliding under the covers, he curled up with Ennis's shirt pressed to his chest. It still smelled of Ennis because he never washed it, and that was just fine with him. They had already agreed to wear a certain shirt often during their time apart so that they could switch over and wash the ones they already had. But Jack was perfectly happy with this one for now.

He drifted off eventually and found himself face to face with Ennis. It was always a good dream when this happened. He was dimly aware of Ennis moving inside him for a few minutes before it was suddenly over, and he turned in his sleep.

"_Not long to go now," Ennis murmured to him, running a hand through his dark hair. Jack purred in contentment._

"_Yeah. We'll be back together soon and have so much fun while you're here. And then...six months later..."_

"_Yeah...we'll move in together somewhere. Maybe one day...we'll get married..."_

Jack jerked awake, eyes wide in the darkness. There it was again; another sign that a proposal was coming his way. It was too soon for him and he didn't want a proposal right now, when Ennis returned. He needed time to get used to the idea before Ennis asked him, so he hoped that Ennis could hold out until October at least. He was happy to consider moving into Ennis's place, though; that might actually be the best option for them and their future together.

* * *

_March 6th, 2011_

With just a few weeks left until Ennis's arrival, Jack was starting to get excited about the visit. He missed Ennis a lot when they were apart so it was great to spend time with him, even if it was only a few days. The fortnight they'd spent together had been amazing for both of them, but he knew it would be unrealistic to expect that this time. Still, it was better than no time at all, which would happen if Ennis was in the Army. He might get time off, but probably not every six months.

He was walking along the street, enjoying the warm sunshine that had started coming through with spring. He had a few things to get in order to prepare for Ennis's arrival and he liked planning for this special day, even more so because it would be their anniversary. Maybe they could spend an entire day in the bedroom again; that would be fun.

But he knew that they both wanted to have a romantic date together before Ennis left again, since it wouldn't matter now if someone saw them together. Ennis had support and friends, and the captain would sort out anyone who gave him grief.

After picking up some supplies for the bedroom, Jack made his way to his favourite restaurant and decided to make a booking for the pair of them; he'd seen couples here before when he'd been out with Lureen and had always envied them for being able to share it.

He walked in and approached the manager, who nodded in greeting. They knew each other fairly well. "Jack! How are you doing today?" she asked, smiling.

"I'm great. Listen, can I book a table for between the thirteenth and seventeenth?" he asked, and she consulted the book.

"Um...we can give you one for the sixteenth, at seven in the evening. Would that be okay?" He nodded and she looked up after writing it down. "For you and Lureen?"

"Actually, no," he replied, feeling nervous. "We're not actually together. I'm gay and she's my friend."

"Really? I never knew that. So who's the lucky guy?"

"A sailor that I've been seeing when he's on shore leave. We've agreed to have a romantic date."

"That's wonderful, Jack. I hope you have a good time," she told him, and he shook her hand. When he left, he looked around and decided to sit down for a minute.

He found a bench and pulled his phone out of his pocket, wanting to speak to Ennis. They had a rule that if Jack wanted to initiate a verbal conversation, he would text first to make sure that Ennis could talk; he didn't want to interrupt Ennis if he was working and cause him trouble.

_Can you talk? Got some info for you xxx_

He sent the message and waited, knowing that Ennis would just call if he could and text if he couldn't. Jack understood that Ennis's job had to come first during the months apart.

To his relief, his phone started ringing and he answered it. "Hey, bud."

"Hey, darlin'. What's going on?"

"I just booked us a table at this romantic restaurant. It's for the sixteenth at seven, how does that sound?"

"Sounds...perfect," Ennis replied. "I'm really looking forward to it. I take it that it's one of those classy places where you have to dress up smart?"

Jack grinned. "Afraid so, sailor. They'll throw us out if we turn up in jeans. I reckon we can endure it for one night. And just think of this; we'll be dressed up for just a couple of hours, and then when we get back we can undress each other. What do you say?" he asked slyly, knowing that he'd probably put a mental image in Ennis's head now.

"Um...yeah," Ennis replied, sounding a little flustered at the thought. "That sounds great. Um...so...how are you?"

"I'm okay, but I sure do miss you. Just over five weeks until you're back here...it's gonna feel like five years."

"I know, Jack. But just remember; it'll be our anniversary when I get back. And we'll spend every day together, after all. I'll even meet you for lunch when you're working; we could do that when we live together properly, if you want."

"Yeah, that'd be great," Jack agreed. It would certainly feel like a nicer break between work hours if Ennis would be there. "I like the sound of that, Ennis. Um...I know we have to talk, about serious stuff. And that's okay. Even though we have a lot of fun together, I know that being in a relationship is about more than that. But I just worry that we might not be able to agree about things. It could hurt us if we can't decide things together."

"I know that," Ennis told him. "But I honestly don't think that'll happen. We love each other, so we wanna make it work. My parents came from different states and went through what we are right now, with my dad being in the Army. Neither of them could decide where they wanted to live, but they eventually came to a conclusion together. It'll only hurt if we don't talk about it, Jack. But if we can do that, then we're gonna be fine. I'm sure of it."

Jack felt a bit calmer now that he'd voiced his fears to Ennis, and was very glad that his partner was staying rational about it. "You're probably right. Anyway...I'll let you go for now. Speak to you soon, yeah?"

"Sure. Love you, Jack," Ennis said softly.

He smiled and felt warmth spreading through him. "I love you too, Ennis. Bye." When he hung up, he felt a lot better now that Ennis was coming home soon. They could finally relax without being scared of someone finding out about them, and they would both be safe from anyone who might wish to hurt them. Every day brought Ennis closer to him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_April 13th, 2011_

Jack grinned and kissed him again, pulling him close. "I missed you so much," he murmured, nuzzling his lover's neck. Ennis kissed the side of his face and felt life flowing through him again.

"Oh, darlin'...feels good to hold you. Happy anniversary..."

"Same to you," Jack replied, pulling his face away to smile at Ennis. "Two years to the day since we met...I can't believe it."

"Me neither. I never thought I'd meet someone...who could make me so happy. And now...I've got you."

"You sure have," Jack agreed, leading him over to the sofa and sitting him down. "So...how's everything on the ship now? Better, I hope."

"Yeah, it is. I still hear people muttering under their breaths when I pass, but they don't say anything to me or do anything. They leave me alone well enough. And I saw Mike being led away by police when I was waiting to get on the bus. So I guess that's over now."

"Thank God," Jack sighed, leaning against him. "It was awful, thinking that you might get really hurt by them just because of who you are. With the captain making an example of him, I guess the others are too scared to do anything, right?"

"Pretty much. And you know something?" Ennis asked, looking at him and sitting up. "It made me realise how lucky I am to have you in my life. I just...can't be without you, Jack. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Ennis," Jack replied, taking his hand. "What's brought this on?"

"Well...when I thought I might have to cheat on you just to keep my job, even though I didn't want to, I knew how much I care about you. So when I didn't have to do that, I was so happy that I wasn't going to lose you." Now was the perfect time for him to ask Jack; he just hoped that Jack agreed to it. "Jack...I wanna ask you something."

_Oh God, he's gonna propose, _Jack thought, feeling nervous. As much as he wanted to marry Ennis, he wasn't ready for it yet. He needed to wrap his mind around the thought first. "Yeah?"

"Well, we've seen each other's apartments. And I know we agreed to talk it all out together and decide where to live together. But I've been feeling...homesick lately. I miss my place, and the life I had there. Jack...I think I want to move back there when I finish my contract, but I don't wanna do it without you. So I'm asking...if you'll come with me."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he had more time to get used to the idea of marriage. But this was still a big request that Ennis was making of him, and he needed to think it over.

"Wow, um...to be honest, after I saw those photos your parents sent me I had a feeling that this would happen. You clearly love that place and I can see why. And...we have spent a lot of time here together. But...I don't know yet," he admitted, hoping that Ennis wouldn't be hurt. "I just...I don't know what I want yet, in terms of where to live. I know that I wanna be with you," he added, taking Ennis's other hand in his. "And I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you're asking a lot of me..."

"I know that," Ennis told him; he'd half-expected Jack to need time to think it over. It was only fair to give him that. "And if you feel like you honestly can't leave here, then that's absolutely fine. I would be perfectly happy for us to live here together."

"But, Ennis...you know as well as I do that if we ever wanted to get married, we'd have to move from here anyway..."

"Yeah. And that's probably gonna happen one day. I'd like to marry you, Jack...at some point, when we're ready. But if you feel like you'd rather stay here, then don't feel like you have to agree just to avoid hurting me. I can take it," he said, smiling at Jack. "So...I'll leave it with you for now, and we just won't mention it again until you've made a decision. Not another word from me; I'm leaving it up to you because I know I'm asking a lot."

Jack nodded, grateful that Ennis was considering his feelings so much. "Thanks, Ennis. It means a lot to me, and...I can tell you that I'll have an answer before you have to leave. But for now, let's just enjoy being together."

"I agree," Ennis replied, nodding. They settled down again and he put his arm around Jack. "So...about that dinner in three days. You say it's a romantic place?"

"Seems to be. I've been there with Lureen a few times. And we've seen couples there that really seem to enjoy it. It sure looks nice if you're there as a couple. They even have a little dance floor when they have live bands. Maybe...we could...?"

Ennis smiled, fondly remembering the time when they had danced together here. "Yeah, maybe. And we can hold hands when we go walking, and don't have to hide away anymore. Sounds almost too good to be true."

"Well, it's real," Jack told him, turning so that he was facing Ennis. "You don't have to wear your uniform, so nobody will even know that you're a sailor. And if anyone you know sees you, they won't be able to do anything. It'll just be you and me, baby."

"Just the way I like it," Ennis replied, leaning in to kiss him. Jack sighed into his mouth and Ennis pulled him closer, wrapping his arm around Jack's waist. This was what he had missed during their time apart, and what he loved about being with Jack. This man was the love of his life and Ennis couldn't wait for the next six months to pass, so that they could finally be together.

* * *

Ennis watched eagerly as Jack undressed on his side of the bed, looking appreciatively at the body he'd missed for so long. "Are you trying to make me suffer by doing that slowly?" he asked, and Jack grinned. He did love to tease Ennis sometimes.

"Maybe," he replied, slowly lowering his underwear and tossing it to the floor. Ennis felt himself becoming aroused as Jack got into bed and shuffled close to him. "You wanna?"

"I think that's a daft question," Ennis said, pulling him close and kissing him deeply. "God, I missed you..."

"Missed you too, Ennis." He then placed a finger over Ennis's lips. "No deep words tonight. Let's just enjoy this, okay? I want you inside me," he whispered, smiling when Ennis's eyes lit up. "Come on..." He kissed Ennis again and tugged at his waist, wanting Ennis to cover him with his warmth. Ennis knew the sign by now and rolled on top of him, both of them sliding down in the bed until Jack's head was comfortable nestled in the pillow. After a few long moments of kissing, Ennis broke away and looked down at the beautiful creature before him.

"You're amazing," he said softly, and Jack grinned.

"Only when I'm with you." He watched as Ennis grabbed the lube and could feel anticipation running through him. He was waiting for that moment when the world would just melt away, and it would only be the two of them.

"You got a fresh bottle?" Ennis asked, smirking as he put it back. Jack grinned.

"Wanted everything to be perfect. I knew we'd be having a lot of sex during the next few days, so..." He shrugged and then his grin widened when he felt Ennis nudging his legs apart. He responded happily enough, widening them and allowing Ennis access to his body. "Let's show 'em how it's done."

Ennis smiled and slowly started to push himself inside Jack, always taking care to avoid hurting him. The last thing he wanted was to cause Jack too much pain or to make him bleed. That would put a dampener on his first night back and he would feel guilty about it.

When he was all the way in, he saw Jack biting his lip and shifting until he was comfortable. "Tell me when you're ready," he said softly, and Jack nodded.

"Takes some getting used to after six months," he replied, eventually doing so and feeling the pain ebb away. "There we go...come on, sailor."

Ennis smiled lovingly and made sure that Jack was holding on tightly to him. He started moving, taking it slowly at first because he knew that Jack loved it like this. He leaned down to kiss and nibble at his lover's neck, rocking steadily into Jack and hearing him moan softly in his ear. "Feel good?"

"Wonderful," Jack sighed, ankles locked together around Ennis's waist and whimpering when Ennis pushed deeper. "Oh God, I needed this..."

"Me too," Ennis murmured, feeling Jack's heart beating in his chest close to his own. He soon figured out that their hearts were beating in time right now; he'd never felt that before. It was almost as if the two hearts were one. "Jack...I love you..." he murmured, kissing Jack on the mouth and pushing his tongue in. Jack welcomed it eagerly, curling his own around it and crushing his lips to Ennis's. He could taste the wine that Ennis had drunk earlier, running his tongue all around his lover's teeth and in the roof of his mouth. Ennis groaned at this contact, moving faster inside Jack and trying to keep up with him.

They broke apart for air and Jack gasped when Ennis trailed a hand down his chest. "Oh God," he whispered, bucking upwards. Ennis grinned and took hold of Jack, slowly massaging the head until a bead of liquid appeared. "Oh, fuck..." Jack groaned. "Ennis, please...jerk me off..."

He didn't need encouraging; he moved his hand up and down while sliding into Jack and soon enough he was rewarded by a sticky feeling on his chest and Jack crying out with relief. He thrust a few more times until he filled Jack up with his own release, claiming Jack as his own and feeling the connection burning bright between them.

He slowly sank down onto Jack and into his arms, sighing and trying to get his breath back. "Oh, darlin'..."

"That was amazing," Jack replied, wincing when Ennis pulled out of him. "How did you get to be so amazing at this?"

"You know what they say...practice makes perfect. I know what you like, what feels good...so I just wanna make you happy."

Jack smiled and kissed his damp hair. "You know I'll return the favour when it's my turn, bud. I know you like taking it as well as giving it."

"Gotta admit that I do," Ennis agreed, and then he rose up to look into Jack's eyes. "But...only with you, Jack. I don't know if I could trust anyone else..."

"I know you could if you were with someone else, Ennis. But I know you, and we're not gonna talk about this," Jack said firmly but gently. "Neither of us likes talking about what might have been if we weren't together. None of that now, okay?"

Ennis nodded and rested on Jack's chest, smiling when Jack wrapped his arms around him. "Don't think I can move now..."

"Then don't," Jack told him simply. "Stay right here if you want. You're not _that_ heavy..." He grinned when Ennis pulled on his chest hair. "Ow!"

"You deserved that," Ennis said, closing his eyes and allowing Jack's warmth to wash over him. This was where he belonged, with Jack. Even if Jack couldn't move to Iowa with him, it wouldn't matter right now. They would probably have to wait before turning their thoughts to marriage, but for the moment everything was okay. He just wanted to be with Jack; he didn't care about anything else right now.

* * *

_April 16th, 2011_

On Saturday, Ennis and Jack went for a walk together in the park. They had missed being able to do this together, and it was made even better by the fact that they could hold hands this time. Now they didn't have to worry about Ennis's co-workers seeing them together, which was a welcome relief for both of them.

Jack had done a lot of thinking over the past few days, about Ennis's request for him to move to Knoxville with him. He did like the look of Ennis's place and knew that they could be very happy together, but he figured he was just scared of moving so far away for the first time.

On the other hand, maybe it would be alright. He would have Ennis there with him and could slowly get used to the area as long as he had help. And he did love Ennis with all his heart; he knew that Ennis was homesick and figured that it was about time he sacrificed something for Ennis; his lover had already given up any hope of staying under the radar while on the ship and everybody knew about them. That couldn't have been easy for Ennis to do.

He felt Ennis squeezing his hand as they walked and looked over at him. "Hmm?"

"You okay?" Ennis asked, peering at him closely. "You're miles away there."

"Oh...just thinking. Mostly about what you asked me. But I still need a little time," he added quickly, and Ennis nodded.

"Sure, bud. You know I'd never rush you or make you feel guilty, right?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I know." They reached their favourite bench and sat down together, happy that they could now show affection in public. They'd been through so much to get to this point and felt as though they deserved this.

When they were sat down, Ennis put his arm around Jack and smiled at him. "This is good, right?"

"Sure is," Jack agreed, leaning over to kiss him on the mouth. He sighed when he felt Ennis's tongue seeking entrance, knowing how much Ennis liked that kind of kissing. He obliged, opening his mouth and moaning softly when the kiss deepened. He would never know what it was that made Ennis so good at this, but he didn't care. Maybe it really was because they'd practiced so much together. Either way, he knew in his heart that this was the one person that he would do absolutely anything for. This man was everything to him and he hoped that Ennis knew that.

He pulled away when he realised this, suddenly seeing that his choice was clear. He wanted to move in with Ennis, and what better reason for moving so far away than for love? Lureen had been right; it did have a certain romance to it and he knew it would make them both happy if he agreed to move to Ennis's place. He wanted to live with Ennis, wherever that was.

Ennis didn't notice his sudden epiphany, and simply pulled Jack into his arms. Jack melted into the embrace, happier than he had ever been. He so wanted to do what Ennis had asked of him, but decided to wait before telling him. They would be going for dinner tonight and the opportunity would be perfect. Besides, he still wanted to get used to the idea even though he was going to say yes. Leaving this city and this state would be a huge deal for him and he knew that Ennis respected that.

"You okay?" Ennis asked softly, pulling away to look at him. He gently fingered the hair at the nape of Jack's neck, making Jack close his eyes in pleasure and purr softly.

"Mmm...just fine," he murmured, resting his head on Ennis's shoulder. Ennis smiled in bemusement and held him closer, sighing and rubbing Jack's back.

"You make me so happy," he said quietly, and he felt Jack's arms go around him.

"The feeling's mutual," he replied, savouring every moment because Ennis would be gone again too soon. He hated how they usually got only a few days before Ennis had to leave again, for six long months. But this time there was a silver lining; the next time he saw Ennis after this would be when he returned for good, and that made him happy.

"Just think...six more months..." he whispered, squeezing his lover tightly.

Ennis nodded and smiled widely, so much looking forward to that. "Yeah. I can't wait for that day."

"I'm gonna be there, Ennis. At the port when you get off the ship. I'll be right there to greet you." He wanted that and nobody was going to tell him otherwise; he wanted that moment more than anything.

"And I'm gonna kiss you silly," Ennis replied, kissing the side of Jack's face. "Don't give a damn what anyone says. I'll be too happy to care."

"Yeah. I still wanna meet your friends, and the captain," Jack informed him, sitting up to look into Ennis's eyes. He put his arms around Ennis's neck. "I'd love to meet them and thank them for everything they've done for you. I know it wouldn't have been easy if you hadn't had support. I mean...if it was just you and Mike...you might have...you know..." He gulped, unable to finish his thought.

Ennis lifted his chin. "Darlin'...I'd never do that to you. I know I never told you this, but...I'd rather jump off the ship and into the sea than hurt you, especially in that way. If I'd done what he was asking, even if you'd forgiven me...I would never forgive myself. You come first in my life, Jack. Then it's the job. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. The rest doesn't matter."

He kissed Jack deeply again and they embraced once more, very grateful that things had worked out so well for them. Neither of them wanted to contemplate how things might have gone.

* * *

They were finally on their way to the restaurant, slightly worried that they were going to miss the reservation now.

"It's your fault, you know," Jack pointed out, trying to be serious but still smirking. "You're the one who grabbed me and threw me onto the bed."

"You were half-naked; what was I supposed to do?" Ennis asked, also losing his resolve. "I acted on instinct."

"You mean you were horny," Jack replied, grinning at him. They reached their destination and got out, Ennis holding out his hand.

"Come on, darlin'. Let's show them we've got nothing to be ashamed of," he said with a smile, and Jack took his hand. Ennis's fingers laced through his own and he grinned to himself.

Inside was just as romantic as Jack had told him, and Ennis looked around appreciatively. "This is really nice," he said, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah. Thought it might be a good place for our first public date. The trips to the cinema were so secret, after all."

They were shown to their table and given menus; Jack peered at Ennis over his. As soon as the order was taken, he was going to tell Ennis that he wanted to live with him in Knoxville. He couldn't wait to tell him. Ennis had given him the gingerbread heart for their anniversary and he had given Ennis a new watch, which he was wearing proudly. This would be one more gift from him.

"What are you smirking at?" Ennis asked when the waiter had taken their orders. Jack shrugged.

"Nothing much. Just...really happy." He grinned and took both of Ennis's hands in his own, resting them on the table. "There's something I wanna tell you..."

A part of Ennis feared that Jack was going to gently turn down his request, but the smile on Jack's face didn't add up to that. "Okay..."

"You asked me to live in Knoxville with you when you leave the Navy. Um...you know that this is a huge deal for me, because I've never lived anywhere but in this state. And I would be away from everything I've ever known, except you. So I want you to understand how scary this is for me."

"You know I do," Ennis replied earnestly. "If you feel like you can't-"

"Let me finish," Jack cut him off gently, squeezing his hands. "The thing is...when I told Lureen about it she said something that I keep thinking about. She asked me...what better reason to move than for love? She said it was romantic and I can see what she meant now. So...Ennis, you know I love you. And you know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So it wouldn't work if you came back and went to live in Knoxville and I stayed here. I don't want another long-distance relationship with you because this has been hard enough. I'm only coping with it because I know we've got no choice right now. But to live apart when we don't have to? That's crazy."

Ennis nodded. He wasn't sure where Jack was going with this, but a small part of him was thinking that Jack was about to say yes.

"Ennis, I...when we were in the park earlier I realised that I would do anything for you. And we've spent so much time at my place since we got together that maybe it's...time for a change."

"What are you saying?" Ennis asked, his heart rate quickening. Jack smiled widely at him.

"I'm saying...yes. I'll move to Knoxville with you when you come back."

Ennis leaned over the table to kiss him firmly on the mouth, not caring in the slightest who might be watching. When they pulled apart, he looked as if he was in shock. "Jack, I...I don't know what to say."

"Well...I know we wanna be together. And somehow...we'll make it work. I'm sure of that, Ennis. I really want to do this. Maybe it's time for me to leave this area now; I've lived here for so long and it might just be time for a change of scenery, you know?"

"You'll love it there," Ennis assured him, nodding. "I know we'll enjoy living there."

Jack smiled. "Well then...I guess it's settled. My mom's probably gonna cry but...I can't stay here forever. There might be better job opportunities there, right? And we'll be together every single day," he finished, kissing Ennis's hands.

The food arrived and Jack pressed his foot against Ennis's. "Wanna know something? When I move in...you and me are gonna christen every room of the place." He smirked at Ennis, who grinned and felt his cheeks go red.

"Jack...you can't go leaving stains all over the place." Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Who says the stains are all gonna be mine?" he asked in a soft voice, the implications heavy. Ennis bit his lip as he remembered what it was like when Jack was inside him. "Anyway..."

"You damn tease," Ennis breathed, shaking his head. Jack grinned.

"I'll make you a deal. If you finish off that big plate, you'll get the best sex you've ever had."

Ennis didn't need telling twice. He ate his dinner with as much dignity as he could muster while wanting the outing to be over. He didn't mind that Jack had this kind of hold on him. Jack was by no means manipulative and so it was fine; this was all in fun. Ennis thought of the dance floor that Jack had mentioned, but he realised that he wanted to get back as soon as possible.

"You ready to go?" Jack asked innocently when Ennis had paid. Ennis looked at him with a predatory gleam in his eye. Jack's offer had made him think in only one way now.

"Get that fine ass in gear," he said in a low voice, and Jack started moving with Ennis right behind him, wondering if they were even going to make it to the apartment before Ennis jumped him.

* * *

_April 18th, 2011_

On Monday, it was time for Ennis to leave again. Although he hated doing this just when he'd gotten used to being around Jack again, he took comfort in the knowledge that the next time he was here, it would be for good. Not only that, but Jack had agreed to move to Knoxville to be with him. He was truly grateful for this and wanted Jack to know that.

"Wish you didn't have to go," Jack said from the bed as he watched Ennis finish packing. "You've only been here six days."

"That's more than we've had before," Ennis reminded him gently, squeezing his shoulder. "And just remember...next time I won't be going away again. I'm staying put."

Jack smiled. "Yeah, that's true. So...it'll give me time to prepare for the move, right?"

"We don't have to move up there right away as soon as I get back," Ennis told him. "We can take whatever time we need to be ready. Are you gonna look at jobs?"

"Yeah, I will do. And maybe your parents can help me out with that." He stood up, putting his arms around Ennis' neck. "I really do want to do this, Ennis. It's time that I found out what it's like outside of this state, and I wanna be with you."

Ennis smiled and kissed him, feeling very happy that everything was coming together for them now. "I'm really glad you said yes, Jack. I would've been fine if you hadn't, but...I really hoped that you'd agree."

"You know what? It's like I said at dinner. When we were in the park I realised that I wanted to be with you for good, whatever that involved. If it meant moving to a different country, I would do it if we could be together." He shrugged. "That's what you mean to me, Ennis. I love you."

"I love you too," Ennis replied, kissing his cheek for a few lingering moments. "You know...I've got a good feeling about all this. We went through so much crap with that Mike guy and then the others threatening me. It feels like we're due a break, you know? I'm looking forward to moving back home, with you."

Jack nodded and sighed, stretching his legs from his sitting position and watching as Ennis packed. He wondered if Ennis had given any serious thought to a proposal, but decided not to say anything. He did want to marry Ennis one day, but didn't think he was in the right frame of mind just yet. He had never given thought to marriage before meeting Ennis, because of the law. So he wasn't sure if he was ready for that just yet. Hopefully Ennis could sense that and was deciding to wait.

"What's up?" Ennis asked when Jack had been silent for too long. He shook his head.

"Nothing, just thinking. Remember that night when we came back from dinner?" he asked with a grin, and Ennis nodded. That had been something special.

"It really was the best sex I've ever had. How many times did you come that night?"

"I stopped counting after about four or five," Jack admitted, grinning sheepishly. "God, when I think about what we did..."

"I'm never gonna look at whipped cream the same way again," Ennis replied, shaking his head as he packed up. "That was a fun night."

"It sure was. And just think..." Jack said, standing up and wrapping his arms around Ennis's stomach. "When we're living together, we could do it every night. Probably just once or maybe twice, depending on how tired we are. But still."

"Sounds good to me," Ennis replied, kissing his cheek again. He looked at his watch and felt his heart sink; he had to go soon. "Damn..."

"I know," Jack murmured, trying not to let the pain in his heart affect him too much. "But it's for the last time. We have to hold onto that thought, right? It was awful that first time, not much better on the second because we'd just slept together for the first time. But this is gonna be okay, Ennis. Just six more months and that's it."

"Thank God," Ennis sighed, resting his head against Jack's and wishing that this moment would never end.

All too soon, it was time to go. Jack walked Ennis to the front door, unwilling to let go of his hand but knowing he would have to. "Any idea where you're going next?"

"Not really. But I'll let you know. And you can look up the time difference so we can work out the best time to talk."

"Sure. Come here..." He put his arms around Ennis's waist and felt his lover pull him close. "I'm gonna miss you, every day."

"Me too, but I'm glad we can stay in touch. It'd be hell if we couldn't. And just six months to go."

"Yeah." Jack pulled his face away and squeezed gently. "You're the love of my life, you know that?"

"Reckon I do, because you're the love of mine," Ennis replied, and then his gaze dropped to Jack's lips. He leaned in and gently pressed his own against them, feeling Jack sigh at the contact. He would never tire of kissing and holding Jack; every time they did this he was always thinking about the next time.

Eventually, they pulled apart and Ennis rested his head against Jack's. "I love you," he said softly, and Jack smiled at him, blue eyes full of both happiness and sadness.

"I love you too, baby. Always." They kissed once more and Ennis reluctantly let go of him, knowing that he had to get moving soon. He picked up his bag and put his hat on, seeing the appreciative smile on Jack's face.

When Ennis left, Jack went over to the sofa and flopped down onto it, staring at the ceiling. The next six months would drag by, but they would eventually come to an end and bring Ennis back to him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_Tuesday, May 3rd 2011_

_It's only been two weeks since I left, but it might as well be two years for how much I miss Jack already. I can't wait for us to be together every day, and I often wonder what it'll be like. Even just to hold him in bed every night would be something else, not to mention having sex regularly. The physical feeling itself is always amazing, but what gets me the most is how I feel inside. I look at him during sex and I realise how much I love him._

_As it turns out, my last trip will be to Rota, in Spain. I've always wanted to go somewhere like that, and maybe I can even do some sunbathing. Hopefully I would still have a tan by the time I get back home, because I know that Jack will like that. _

_I'm very glad that Mike was taken back to Texas, and that I don't have to deal with him anymore. There was a time when I honestly thought I might have to go along with what he suggested, which would involve betraying Jack. Even if Jack had given me permission for it, to save my career, I would never have done it. I just can't hurt him like that._

_At least I don't have to now. I'll just get through these next six months, and then we'll be together. I already talked to the captain; he's happy to meet Jack when we land back home and I know they'll get on. Richard also wants to see Jack again before the ship leaves for wherever they'll go next, which I appreciate. _

_Sometimes I get nervous about Jack meeting my parents, but my mom already seems to like him so it'll probably be okay. And they're really happy that I'll be moving back home, because I know they miss me. I really hope that Jack likes the apartment when he sees it for real._

_One thing that I've been thinking about is the law in Iowa. I know that same-sex marriage is legal there, and I have to admit that the thought has crossed my mind. But while part of me really wants to ask Jack, another is telling me that it's too soon. We've been together for two years, and it'll be two and a half by the time I get back. Surely if we'd been together every day we probably would be married by now, or at least engaged. But I don't know how he would react if I proposed to him when I get back. I'll have to think about that._

_Either way, we'll still be together and that makes me very happy. I know that we can make this work because we're so right for each other. There's nobody else I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love him and we're going to have a good future together, no matter what that involves. It's going to be great._

Ennis paused and thought for a moment, images forming in his mind of him proposing to Jack and being accepted. It really would be a wonderful thing but he didn't know if Jack was truly ready for something so big. He was asking Jack to move away from everything he'd ever known and that was a huge thing in itself. Jack should probably get used to that before anything else happened; Ennis didn't want him to feel forced into it just to make him happy.

He sighed and put his pen down, not knowing what else to write. He was very grateful to Jack for giving him this journal; it really had helped. He had never shown Jack what he had written, because he hadn't wanted Jack to worry too much during the time when he'd had Mike harassing him. Now that the whole thing was over, he figured it would be okay to show Jack his entries when he returned. He figured that Jack would like to read them and know his thoughts during their time apart.

There came a knock on the door and for the first time, he didn't feel uneasy as to who it might be. Without Mike around, he wasn't as scared as he used to be. He really had nothing to be scared of now. "Yeah? Come in."

Richard poked his head through the door. "Hey. Just wanted to let you know they're serving dinner soon. You wanna walk down together?"

"Sure. Let me just get this away," he replied, putting his journal in a safe place and looking around the room. He was actually a little fond of this cabin after sleeping in here for so long. "You know...sometimes I can't believe I've only got six months left. Well, less than that now."

"Yeah...we're all gonna miss you," Richard replied, smiling. "But you're doing it for love and I can't fault you for that. If you signed a new contract, you'd just go through the same thing again for another few years."

"I don't want that," Ennis told him simply. "I just can't do another long-distance thing with him; it gets too bad without him. I want us to be together every day, and we will be even with work." He couldn't wait for that to happen, even if he didn't really know what to expect. He liked not knowing right now; it was quite liberating.

"I'm happy for you guys, that everything worked out," Richard told him. "I really wish you all the best."

"Thanks. You know...I wanted to say thank you. For giving me support when I was alone and Mike was threatening me. It means a lot." Ennis hugged him, very happy that there were straight people in the world who understood them.

"You're welcome," Richard replied when they broke apart. "Come on, then. Let's get something to eat before the others scarf it all down." Ennis nodded and they left the cabin, talking about the upcoming visit to Spain.

* * *

That evening, Ennis was sitting on his bed and scrolling through his phone to his parents' house. He wanted to tell them the good news, about him and Jack coming to live in Iowa when his contract had finished. He knew that his parents missed him and he was looking forward to going back there; he wanted to have a good life with Jack.

He dialled the number and waited for someone to pick up. "Hello?"

"Mom, it's me," he said, smiling at hearing her voice.

"Ennis, honey! Good to hear from you. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, looking forward to the end of my contract. Just six more months to go..."

"That's right. Have you and Jack made any plans, or...?" she asked, and he could hear the hope in her voice.

"We have. I miss being there, to be honest. I miss my apartment. So I asked Jack if he would move there with me, and he said yes. We're gonna be living at my place."

"Oh, Ennis. That's wonderful! Hang on, your dad's here. Keith?" Ennis waited for a moment while his dad came to the phone. "Ennis says that he and Jack will be moving to his place when the contract's over."

"That's great, son. So you two are really making a go of it, huh?"

"Yeah," he agreed, nodding. "I'm really sure about him. And...it means a lot to me that you guys accept him, you know. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't."

"Oh, honey...you've never needed to worry about that. We love you just as you are and want you to be happy. We don't want to know about your private life, but we'd say that even if you were with a woman. There are just some things that parents and children can't share with each other."

"Well...I was thinking more about you, Dad," Ennis admitted sheepishly. "I mean, with you having been in the army. I hear all the time about the sons of military guys who are disowned when they come out. Dad, I...I know you said you were okay with it, but I wonder what it'll be like when you meet him."

"Ennis...like your mom just said, you don't need to worry. When I was in the army, I had a lot of friends there. In recent years, some of them gotten in touch to tell me that they're gay. And you know what? It doesn't change anything about how I feel about them. They were gay when I knew them and that hasn't changed, so why should I feel differently? I'm still friends with them."

Ennis smiled, very glad that his father was taking such a view. He wouldn't ask Jack to move in with him if he suspected that his father was in any way homophobic, and would change his mind about them living there if there might be problems. Fortunately, it looked as if everything was going to be okay. "Dad, I...don't know what to say. Thank you..."

"It's no problem, son. Besides, the world's got enough problems anyway. Famine, war...what's a pair of guys or girls being in love compared to that? I want to meet this young man; the one who's got you pining so bad."

Ennis couldn't believe the wave of support coming from them, and was very grateful for it. He couldn't wait to tell Jack about it.

"Well, anyway...I just wanted to let you know what's going on. I don't know when exactly we'll be moving. We might stay in Florida for a while after I get back but I know we'll move at some point before Christmas."

"That sounds great, honey. Let us know how things go, okay? We love you, and give our best to Jack."

"Will do. Bye..." He hung up and leaned against the headboard, thinking. He did miss his parents a lot and was very happy that he would be able to combine his old life and new life together in this way. All he really wanted was to be with Jack and that would soon happen.

He sighed and decided to send a text to Jack, hoping that he was doing okay during their time apart.

_Hey, bud. Just spoke to parents, they're happy about us moving there xxx_

Ennis did often think about proposing to Jack, but he didn't know yet if it might even be a good idea. What if he simply scared Jack off by taking things too far too soon? No; he would need to think some more about that if he didn't want to lose the man he loved. And he didn't want Jack to say yes out of pity or guilt; he wanted it to be for the right reasons.

Either way, he was certain that they would get married one day; it was surely the next logical step once they moved in together. Maybe even one day, they might have children in some way. That would be great, if they could do it. He wanted everything with Jack.

His phone buzzed and he saw the response from Jack.

_Glad to hear it. Things are coming together for us. I can't wait to move in with you xxx_

Ennis was very happy that Jack was completely on board with this; there had been a couple of days when he hadn't been too sure if Jack would agree, and he wanted Jack to know how grateful he was that things were going ahead.

_Me neither. It'll be our place, together. We'll sign a new lease that says we're both tenants, how does that sound?_

He bit his lip; he knew that if they wanted any kind of rights to each other, such as power of attorney if one of them was sick, then they would have to get married for that. He needed to do some thinking and try to figure out if Jack would be ready for it. He smiled when he saw the reply.

_Sounds good to me xxx_

* * *

_May 12th, 2011_

On Thursday, Ennis was taking a break from work when Richard came up to him. "Have you heard the news?" he asked as soon as he reached Ennis.

"No, what?" Ennis asked, feeling puzzled. He hadn't heard anything.

"There's a rumour starting to go around, back in the States. There's talk that the government's gonna repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Apparently it's really going well."

Ennis couldn't believe it; this would mean a huge change for him and his friends. Them especially since they still had a while to go on their contracts. Most of them had at least another year left. "Are you serious? How come?"

"They're saying it's unconstitutional; that everybody in the armed forces should be able to serve openly without having to lie about who they are. Isn't that great?"

"It sure is," he replied, grinning. "Can't believe it...it's been nearly twenty years, right?"

"I think so; I'm sure it started in the nineties. There's been hundreds of guys who have to lie just to keep themselves safe and I've never thought that it was right. I always figured that if someone's in a war, they've got more important things to worry about than gay soldiers."

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, that's true. Anyway...I'm looking forward to getting out of here. I've got some good friends now, but I'm ready to move on and I wanna be with Jack. I couldn't take it if I had to go through another contract."

"I know. But at least everything worked out in time for you. And even though you'll have to deal with a trial about Mike, at least then it'll be over. What are they charging him for again?"

"Sexual harassment, blackmail and assault," Ennis replied. "All of them on me, actually," he added with a grim smile. "He did threaten Jack as well, though. The captain heard that one just before telling him that he was out. So I don't know if that's gonna come up. Maybe the captain would be a witness because of my complaints." Then he looked directly at Richard. "Um...would you...consider being a witness too?"

Richard stared at him. "Of course I would, Ennis. I'd do anything to help a friend. Did you ever write about Mike's threats and what he tried to do?" Ennis nodded. "Maybe you could photocopy those parts of the journal entries and your letters to Jack to use as evidence?"

Ennis thought for a moment, and then realised that this did make sense. "You know...that just might work. I mean, with a load of evidence and good statements, he might get sent down for longer. That means he won't be able to get near us for a long time. And we can get a restraining order for when he's released. He will never get near Jack," Ennis vowed. Richard nodded.

"It's good that you're so protective. I get the feeling that Jack can look after himself, but...you're always gonna worry about him, I guess. And I reckon that if your positions were reversed, Jack would be protective of you."

"Yeah, he would," Ennis agreed, smiling fondly. "I love him so much...and I'm really looking forward to living with him. I keep thinking about what we've got coming to us, apart from living together. I mean...what about getting married?"

"Ennis, we've been over this. I think you need to seriously consider what Jack's reaction might be like if you propose, before you start to get excited by the idea. You don't want him to say yes just to avoid hurting your feelings, do you?"

"No, I don't..." Ennis replied, looking out over the water. He thought about his relationship with Jack so far; they had been together for just over two years now, but in reality had spent just over a month in each other's company. He'd counted every day that he and Jack had spent together and it wasn't that long. But their agreed argument was where they would be now if they had spent every day of it together. If that had been the case, then they would likely be married by now or at least engaged. So Ennis figured it might be okay for him to propose to Jack when he returned.

He realised that there might be someone he could talk to about this; Lureen. He knew that Jack talked to her about everything and she might know his feelings about a possible proposal. If he talked to her, maybe it would give him some insight as to what Jack's reaction would be.

After Richard went away again, Ennis decided to give Lureen a quick call.

"What did you just say?" she asked, sounding stunned.

"I need to know how he feels about it. I don't want to ask him if he's not ready because he'll either say no and feel guilty, or say yes and not be ready for it. Has he ever talked about it?"

"Well...yes," she admitted. "Ennis...he's not sure about it, to be honest. I get the feeling that he does want to marry you some day, but...you have to remember that you're already asking a lot of him. I honestly don't know how he would react if you ask him when you get back. Maybe he'll want to and will say yes without feeling pressured. But...I just don't know."

"Alright, then," he replied, rubbing his forehead. "Thanks anyway, Lureen. I figured that if anybody might know, it would be you. He tells you everything, right?"

"More or less. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't tell you most things too. When you guys move in together, soon enough you'll know everything about each other. I know he's looking forward to moving in with you."

"Same here," he agreed. "Anyway, thanks. I'll give it some more thought, and...could you not tell him I called? I don't want him over-thinking things when nothing's been decided yet."

"Alright. As long as you tell him yourself after you have proposed, whenever that is."

"Will do. Bye, Lureen."

* * *

That night, Ennis was lying in bed with Jack's shirt held tightly against him. They had new ones now that they purposefully hadn't washed after wearing, so they could smell each other when they were apart. Ennis knew that it helped both of them to sleep when they were so lonely and couldn't wait to have Jack in his arms again for real. He just wanted to hold the man, even to the point that their reunion sex could wait. Sometimes he wanted that more than sex.

"_I love you," he said softly as he gazed up at Jack, who was in position and ready to start moving. Ennis could feel the throbbing inside him but it didn't hurt too much. He was used to it by now and he knew that Jack wouldn't hurt him. They trusted each other completely and Ennis felt very comfortable about being in this position of vulnerability. Jack would take care of him for sure._

"_I love you too," Jack replied, caressing his face. "Just relax, okay?" Ennis nodded and bit his lip when Jack started moving, trying not to cry out in pain. He knew that it would soon pass as long as he allowed it to; they had discussed this long before. "Feel okay?"_

"_Yeah," Ennis managed to reply, his eyes sliding shut when the pain faded and all he could feel was Jack. There was a warm feeling in his stomach and he could hear Jack whispering in his ear how much he loved him. Ennis pulled him closer and felt kisses on his neck. "Jack..." he sighed, tilting his head to one side. Jack gently nipped at his skin and kissed the bruise that formed. Ennis knew he'd been branded and didn't really feel any cause for complaint. This was simply how they felt about each other and that was okay._

"_You're beautiful," Jack told him in a soft voice, trailing his hand down Ennis's chest when he could tell that his lover was close. He wanted it to be as good as possible. "Never wanna stop doing this with you, Ennis. It's you and me, forever..."_

_Ennis groaned when Jack took hold of him, unable to reply once he felt Jack trying to bring him to the edge. It only took a few strokes before he felt his come hitting Jack's stomach and the tightening in his muscles, accompanied by feeling Jack spill into him. Jack was gritting his teeth as his hips bucked, until he was spent and sinking down onto Ennis's chest. "Oh God..."_

"_Yeah..." Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack and sighed happily. "Darlin'...that was amazing..."_

"_It really was...I love you so much..." Jack kissed the side of his face and smiled at him. "Never gets boring with you. I've heard that can happen when a couple have been together for a while. Eventually they get bored with sex because it gets predictable. But...I can't see that happening for us. How could we ever get bored with this?"_

"_I know...it is pretty good when we do it," Ennis replied, grinning breathlessly. Jack laughed._

"_I don't just mean the physical feeling, Ennis. I mean...how we feel inside. I can immediately tell how much you love me when it's you on top. What about you? What do you feel when it's me, like just now?"_

_Ennis stroked his hair and looked into those deep, searching eyes. "Well...it's like you said. I can feel that you love me. But...I think...it's also about just being there in that moment with you. Let's face it; orgasms are always great. But to share it with you, it's like...we're connecting, you know?"_

_Jack smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Like for a few minutes, we're almost one person. I see what you're saying, bud. And I agree...I really do feel like that, to be honest. Ennis, I...I like the feeling of being so connected to someone else. Especially someone like you. I just feel like I'm at my best when we're together. Before you, sex never really did anything for me. I've been with girls, but...that was never gonna work for me and I knew why."_

"_Yeah, same here. I thought to myself that if I ever did find a guy that I could fall in love with, it would be great. But I never knew...I honestly didn't see this coming. Never thought I'd meet someone like you, Jack."_

_Jack leaned down and kissed him gently, feeling sated and very happy. "We're so damn good together, aren't we? In bed and out of it. I reckon we're a perfect match."_

"_Yeah, I guess we are," Ennis replied, still smiling up at him. Jack was right; they really were perfect for each other and nobody could take that away from them. He had met his soul mate and he never wanted to lose him. "Jack...I don't know the words...to let you know how much you mean to me..."_

_Jack shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Ennis. The fact that you can't find the words...that tells me everything. You love me so much that you can't describe it, and...that's really okay. I can see everything in your eyes." He sank down onto Ennis's chest again and hugged him tightly, feeling warm and comfortable. "Love you..."_

"_Love you too, Jack."_

Ennis woke up soon after this, his stomach covered in fluid and a smile on his face. They were the best dreams of Jack, when they were simply together and enjoying each other. There was nothing quite like it, although the real thing was obviously far more satisfying. But while they were apart, it did the job fairly well and helped him to feel closer to Jack in some way. Ennis didn't know what he would do if he ever lost Jack, but he did know that he wouldn't let him go without a fight. He dreaded the day when Jack would inevitably die, but hopefully that was years away. He couldn't think of that right now.

* * *

_June 1st, 2011_

On Wednesday, Ennis heard that they were now halfway across the Pacific and well on their way to Spain. He was looking forward to seeing it and maybe getting a tan, and he also wanted to take some photos for Jack to add to their collection. Jack had printed off all of the photos that he'd sent so far and was in the process of creating an album for them. Ennis knew that one day he would love to take Jack to all of these places, and maybe one day he would be able to do that.

In the meantime, he was currently leaning against the railing on the deck and looking out over the ocean. As far as the eye could see, everywhere around them was simply water and sky, with the sun beating down. He thought of Iowa, where it snowed every winter, and marvelled at how the weather could be so different in two places. It hadn't even been snowing in Russia during their visit there, so he couldn't really remember the last time he'd been so cold. At the moment, he was happy to enjoy the good weather.

"Ennis," came a familiar voice, and he turned to see the captain standing there. He immediately saluted and the captain waved a hand. "No need for that; I'm simply here to talk and enjoy this lovely sun. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," he replied, nodding. "Feel a lot better with knowing that Mike's probably gonna go to jail. At least he can't hurt us there. I'm more scared for Jack than for myself."

"That's because Jack being hurt would affect you far more than if it were you," the captain said sagely. "And I would bet that it's the other way around for him, right?"

"Yeah, definitely," Ennis agreed. "I guess that's just the way it is with relationships, huh?"

"Pretty much. Your partner becomes more important to you than anything else, even yourself. So...you'll be leaving us soon, won't you?"

"Yep, in October when we land back in Florida. I can't wait to be with him again..."

The captain nodded. "I can imagine. It'll pain me to let go of such a good worker, but...at least you're doing it for a good reason. I know it hasn't been easy for you to be without him and your contract does end in October so I can't really stop you. But...it's all okay. You have been a very good sailor and I'm pleased with the way you handled Mike's treatment of you. Instead of giving in to him, you asked for help and didn't do anything to hurt your partner. I'm very impressed."

Ennis smiled a little, pleased that the captain thought so highly of him. "Thank you, sir. Did I tell you the news? Jack's gonna be living with me in Iowa. We're gonna move up there when I get back."

"That's wonderful, Ennis. Congratulations. I really wish you and Jack all the best, and don't forget that I want to meet him myself when we get back."

"Yeah, I told him. He said he's happy to meet you then." The captain nodded and they shook hands before he left, leaving Ennis to think over what had just happened. Before the business with Mike, he'd only ever seen and spoken to the captain in a professional way as was appropriate. But now he had seen a different side to the man and was happy to know that he was so accepting of people like him and Jack. He did truly have many friends who wanted the best for him and to be happy, and he was grateful for this. He just wished that it could have happened without him ever having to deal with Mike.

But still, that was over with now. All he had to do now was focus on his future with Jack and what they were going to do. Marriage was still on his mind but Lureen had been right; he had to think about it very carefully so as to avoid disaster. He didn't want Jack to say no, because he loved him and didn't know if they could recover from a rejection. But he didn't want Jack to say yes if it was out of pity. If they were going to get married one day, it simply had to be because they were both ready; otherwise it would only create problems for them and he sure didn't want that.

His phone buzzed and he saw a text from Jack.

_Bored here at work, thinking of you. Wish you could take me into the stock room and do inventory with me ;-)_

Ennis grinned at this; Jack did have a knack for saying innocent things and making them sound dirty. It was just one of the things that Ennis loved about him.

_I'd press you up against the wall and give you a what for :-)_

He bit his lip, knowing how much Jack liked to flirt via text with him. It certainly brought a smile to his face and made him feel less lonely. Jack really was perfect for him and Ennis was fully certain that they would have a long and happy life together.

_Sounds good to me. Or maybe on a bucket or chair? That might be fun x_

They continued in this way for quite some time until Jack had to get back to work, and they promised to pick this up another time. Ennis sighed as he realised that there were still four months to go until his return home. He did think of it as home even though he lived somewhere else; he believed that home is where the heart is and that was Jack. His home was where Jack was right now, because they had laid claims to each other's hearts and that was the thing that reassured them when they were lonely. Everything was going to be okay for both of them and that was just it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

_Friday, June 10th 2011_

_Dear Ennis,_

_Just four months to go until you come back! I'm counting down the days like I always do, and sometimes I feel like the clocks are moving slowly on purpose. But I'm managing to get through each day without you, more or less. If it wasn't for our talks on the phone and your letters I don't think I could get through it. I just miss you so much and wish the time could move faster._

_Still, I know we'll be together soon. And I can't wait for us to move to Knoxville together; I'm really looking forward to it. I'll start looking at jobs up there soon and try to find something that would suit me. I might even ask your parents if they can help me, since they're looking forward to us being there. I think it's going to be really great._

_I couldn't believe it when you told me about those rumours, that DADT was going to be repealed. I honestly never thought that it was going to happen but I'm so happy that it is. I know it's not really relevant to you anymore since you'll be leaving soon, but it's still a great thing to happen. I'm happy for your friends on the ship who have to stay longer; at least they won't have to hide away anymore. People like us shouldn't have to hide away in fear just because of who we are and who we love, so it's wonderful that the rest of the world is changing their attitudes about us. _

_I keep thinking about when we met and how far we've come in the last couple of years. I know that most of our relationship has been conducted over a long distance, but in the end I know we can make this work. You already make me really happy and I know I do the same for you. I don't even care how little time we've actually spent together; I usually know when something feels right and this feels exactly how it should be. I want to go to bed with you every night, and wake up to your face every morning. Even if we're too tired to have sex every night, just being in the same bed as you would be great._

_I've kept all of your letters, and maybe one day we can show each other our journals. We're going to be sharing so much together and I think sharing our journals would be a good way of doing this. If it's okay with you, I want to know your deepest thoughts because I think it would bring us even closer together. I hear all the time that the couples who last the longest connect in every way, including mentally and spiritually. I want that with you because I love you._

_I hope you have a good time in Spain, and be sure to take photos for me. I love you, Ennis._

_Love from Jack xxx _

Jack finished his letter and then turned his attention to his phone, which was now buzzing on the table. He picked it up and saw a text from Lureen.

_Can you come in? Loads of students wanting books and I'm feeling pressure._

He sighed to himself and gathered up his things so that he could help her. It did tend to get busy around this time, with the students like she had said. He walked through the streets until he reached the store, sure enough finding it packed. Lureen looked relieved when she saw him.

"Thank God...they're not rowdy but there's a lot of them. Could you...?"

"Sure, I'll take over the cash register. You can go and help them if they need it." Lureen kissed his cheek and started off, walking amongst the students and offering help.

As he worked, Jack couldn't help but think of Ennis. He wondered what kind of job he might have in Knoxville when they moved, and what Ennis would be doing. He didn't know what Ennis's career plans might be, if he had any, since he'd been in the Navy for so long. But Jack had every faith that it was all going to work out. Their love for each other would support them through any difficult times they might have with this move, and the thought made him sure that they could do this.

As Lureen had said, the students were calm and patient. He managed to get through most of the crowd who were paying for books and eventually the shop quietened down.

"I owe you one," Lureen said as she finished restocking shelves. "You really saved me today."

Jack smiled at her. "Anything for a friend. Besides, I think I owe you anyway. For listening to me complain so much about Ennis being away. I do appreciate being able to talk to someone."

She shrugged. "Wasn't really a chore. Anyone could see that you two are crazy for each other and I like that you're so happy. You don't really owe me for that..."

"Yeah, I do," Jack corrected her. "So we're even now, okay? And we'll go for a drink later, if you want."

"Sure, sounds great. Didn't you want to write to Ennis today?"

"I just finished it when you texted me. I'll post it tomorrow. So...what do you think about Don't Ask, Don't Tell being repealed? Quite a surprise, right?"

"Yeah, it is. I never saw that coming, considering how bigoted they can be in the armed forces. It really shouldn't matter if a soldier is into men or women, or the same for female soldiers. I just think it's completely irrelevant if they can do the job."

"Me too...and I'm happy that his friends won't have to hide away anymore. They can be honest about who they are. That's always a good sign that things are changing." He smiled and thought of Ennis's beloved face, knowing that soon enough they would be back together and could plan their future.

* * *

After he'd left Lureen in a now quieter shop, Jack started back for home and decided he'd take another look at the potential jobs that he might take when he moved to Knoxville. He figured it was as good a time as ever to at least see what was out there, and he always liked being prepared whenever he could be.

Jack did have a notion that he didn't want to work in retail, since the work could often be boring and repetitive. He had always liked the idea of working in some kind of business, though. Maybe he could start off as an assistant in an office or something, and work his way up.

He went up to his apartment and sighed as he thought about how lonely he was here without Ennis. At least when they moved in together, he could be sure of seeing Ennis in the mornings and evenings. Maybe they could even meet up for lunch; he would like that a lot because it would make a nice break from the workday.

_Can't believe how much I miss him, _he thought to himself as he started tidying up, heading for his breakfast dishes in the kitchen. He wondered what it would be like to be domesticated with Ennis. They had washed the dishes together once while Ennis had been here and he liked sharing the task with someone he loved. They would make a great couple once they lived together; he was sure of it.

When he'd finished, he sat down on the sofa with the laptop and started searching at the jobs available in Knoxville. He knew that there were plenty of office buildings there, with it being a city, so he figured he wouldn't have too much trouble finding something. If he got an interview, all he had to do was explain that he couldn't start right away. Hopefully, it would work out.

As he looked through, his mind turned once again to the possibility of Ennis proposing to him. He was unaware of the fact that Ennis had asked Lureen what he thought of the idea, so he didn't know what was going to happen when Ennis returned. All he could be sure of was that they were going to live happily together.

There were plenty of jobs that appealed to him, but he didn't know anything about the area or the companies involved. There were two people he could talk to about it, and they were just a phone call away. He decided to go for it.

"Mrs Del Mar? It's Jack Twist..."

"Hi, Jack. How are you?"

"I'm doing great. Looking forward to moving in with Ennis..."

"We're really happy for the two of you, Jack. You make our boy really happy, you know. And I know it's never been easy, but I admire how the two of you cope with it. So...is this just a social call or do you need some help?"

"Actually, I could do with your help. I'm looking at jobs in the city for when I move, and...there's plenty online but I don't know anything about them. I just don't know the area and...I could do with some advice from someone who does."

"I see. Well, I know Ennis asked us the same thing a couple of days ago. He wants to do something to do with animals; what about you?"

"I'm more into business...office stuff, you know? I'd be good at that. And I know there's loads of office buildings in the city, so..."

"I understand. Well, Keith and I do know some people that might be able to offer jobs. It helps to have contacts, you see."

"Guess so. Will you really help us?"

"Of course. Ennis is an only child, as you know, so he's always been precious to us. And you make him happy, so...it's only right that we help you as much as we can. Just leave it to us and we'll see what we can do."

"Thanks, Mrs Del Mar," he told her, feeling relieved.

"Jack...you can call me Amanda, you know. It's really fine. Ennis calls your parents by their first names, right?"

"Yeah, that's true. Thanks, um...Amanda. I'm looking forward to living there, especially since I'll be with him every day. It'll take some getting used to, but I know we can do this. I love him very much..."

"And he loves you. Whatever the future brings the two of you...we're proud of you both."

Jack smiled. "Thanks. Anyway, um...I'll let you go now. Thanks for agreeing to help me out; I appreciate it."

"No problem, Jack. Talk to you soon."

"Yep, bye." Jack hung up and marvelled to himself at how well things were going for him and Ennis; he had hoped that they would but it was still quite humbling to know that Ennis's parents accepted him so readily. He had especially been wary of Ennis's father because of his own military history, but there had been no problems. Keith seemed to be very accepting of it, Ennis had reported.

He spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the sofa and watching TV, enjoying his day off now that Lureen would be okay on her own. He thought of Ennis and what he might be doing right now. Most of the time he was working but Jack knew he got time off now and then. He could at least send a text to Ennis.

_Miss you xxx_

He sighed as he waited for a response. This whole situation was never going to be easy for them and he knew it. Why couldn't they just be together every day already? It didn't seem fair to him but he knew he would have to stick it out; he'd coped with the separation for two years now, so a few more months were the final hurdle and he was certain that he could get through it. All he had to do was remember that Ennis loved him and he would be home soon.

* * *

_June 16th, 2011_

On Wednesday, Jack was eating lunch in his apartment and thinking things over. He and Ennis had arranged to talk on the phone today; it was simply easier this way because he knew that Ennis had to work. Ennis had told him that the captain had hired him on a part-time basis to do office work when he had nothing else to do, and Jack was happy for him because he knew that Ennis didn't really like the manual labour that came with his regular job.

He still kept wondering if Ennis was going to propose to him upon his return, but he had to admit that the idea did hold some appeal for him. He knew that they were likely to get married one day, and even if Ennis did ask him when he got back Jack knew that they wouldn't be getting married the following week. Ennis was bound to give him the time he needed.

The phone ringing shook him from his thoughts and he smiled when he saw Ennis's name on the screen. "Hey, sailor."

"Hey, darlin'. How're you doing?"

"I'm okay...still miss you every day, you know. It never gets any easier..."

"I know, Jack. But we'll be back together soon..."

"Yep. That makes me happy, Ennis. It'll be great when we move in to your place, and your parents are a big help on the job front. They've already given me tips about the best places to look for jobs."

"Great...so do you think you'll find something you like?"

"I guess so. Lureen was right; the prospects are a lot better up there, away from the coast. Seems to be more office buildings up there; it's mostly tourist stuff here and that's not what I'm into."

"I know, bud. Jack, I...I want you to know how much you mean to me. I hate being away from you for so long. The dreams and the phone calls...they help a lot but it's still not the same as when we're together. When we move in, I...I never wanna be without you again."

_He's going to ask me, _Jack thought, swallowing hard. Although he did want to, he had to admit that it was nerve-wracking. He loved Ennis with all his heart but it was a huge deal to get married and he wondered if he was ready for that; he still wasn't sure. "I know what you mean," he replied steadily, trying not to let his worry show in his voice. "I don't wanna be without you either..."

"Well...guess it won't come to that. I can't think of anything that could split us up, Jack. The most common way that couples break up is when one of them cheats, but I can't see that happening with us. We're just too happy together. And even if we do have an argument about something, we'll work it out, right?"

"Yeah, of course we will. Ennis...I know it won't always be easy, because relationships never are. They wouldn't be real if they were easy all the time. But...there's nobody else I'd rather do this with. You make me happy..."

"Same to you, Jack. And I promise...I'll do everything I can to keep you happy. I really would do anything for you. God, Jack...I'd even rob a bank if it made you happy."

Jack laughed; Ennis could be very sweet sometimes. "It won't come to that. I'd never ask you to do something like that, or worse. Just...be you, Ennis. That's all I really want, because I love you the way you are. You hear me?"

"Yeah, I do. But I'm just trying to show you...what you mean to me. You stuck by me through all of this stuff with Mike, and...you were always patient even though I was so far away from you. I know it wasn't easy, because it wasn't for me either. But...we made it in the end and now we don't have long to go. I hope I get back before your birthday so that we can spend it together."

"That'd be great. Maybe we could...spend all day in the bedroom?" Jack asked lightly, smirking.

"Well, you never know. Or how about...the laundry room, on top of a washing machine?" Ennis asked, and Jack gulped.

"Ennis...other people use it. We don't wanna traumatise anyone..."

"We won't if we go down there in the middle of the night," Ennis replied, sounding as though he'd thought this through.

"A midnight fuck on a washing machine," Jack said, the images forming in his mind. That was something to consider, and he did like a bit of risk after all. "Well, if it's very late when everyone's asleep...might work."

"I think it would. It'd be a lot of fun, trying to keep as quiet as we can while still driving each other crazy. What d'you say?"

"Well...okay. But only if we get a little drunk first. Then we'll be a little braver."

"Yeah, probably. Anyway...I need to get going. I'm only on a lunch break..." Ennis said, sounding wistful. It was clear that he would prefer to carry on talking, but they both knew that they could only have snatches of conversation while so far apart.

"Me too. Keep your chin up, bud. You'll be back here soon. Enjoy Spain, okay? And let me know when you get there, and when you're coming back. Now that you're out to the rest of the crew, maybe I'll come over to the port and greet you when you land."

"Yeah...that sounds good. I'll look forward to that, darlin'. Give my best to Lureen and your folks, and take care. I love you, Jack."

"Love you too, Ennis. Bye." He hung up and smiled to himself; talking to Ennis always put him in a good mood, despite how lonely he still felt without the man he loved. Soon enough, Ennis would be back in his arms and they could finally look towards their future together. That was enough to keep his spirits up.

* * *

That evening, Jack invited Lureen over for dinner because he wanted to talk to her about the whole marriage thing. He wondered what she thought about it and could do with a neutral opinion. He had always trusted her advice in the past, trusting the female intuition that she always seemed to have.

As much as he missed Ennis, he was very glad that he didn't have to be alone all of the time. He had friends and his parents were just a phone call away. It did help to pass the time a little quicker.

She arrived at his apartment and he wasted no time. While they were waiting for dinner he sat her down on the sofa and decided to start immediately.

"I think Ennis is gonna propose to me," he said, and she blinked at him.

"Huh? What makes you think that?" she asked, a little nervous as she thought of Ennis having called her before.

"Well...a few things. For one, we'll be living in a state where it's legal. And we've been through a lot lately, with Mike harassing him and everything. And then there's the fact that he was so eager for me to talk to his parents..."

"Yeah, but...that doesn't always mean..." she tried, but he looked at her closely.

"You know something," he said quietly, seeing how she was avoiding his eyes. "Lureen...?"

"Well...Ennis called me a while ago. He asked me what you think about marriage. I promised him I wouldn't say anything to you and he said he'd tell you himself one day. But...Jack, don't be mad at him. He only did this because he doesn't want to frighten you by proposing if it's too soon."

"Does that mean he's planning to?" Jack asked, his eyes wide. "I mean...I wanna do it someday but it's a huge deal. For a long time I never thought that I would be able to get married. So..."

"You've never given it serious thought," she finished for him. "And I think Ennis knows that. He probably knows that you're concerned about it being too soon. Let me ask you something," she said, taking his hand. "If he did propose to you when he comes back, what would you say?"

"I would say yes," he replied, knowing that this was true. "Because I love him. But the fact remains that I would need time to get used to it."

"He would give you that time, Jack. And you know that. He loves you and doesn't want to lose you."

"I know," he agreed, nodding. He went to check on the dinner, which was ready by now. Lureen set the table and they were soon sitting down to eat.

"Would it really freak you out if he proposed?" she asked him, and he shook his head.

"It'd be a shock, but...I'd be happy because I love him and want to be with him. This is just about me not being used to the idea. I need time to get my head around the idea of getting married..." Then suddenly, everything became clear to him. He could see the whole puzzle fitting together in front of his eyes and couldn't believe it. "Oh my God..." He felt as though he'd been blind this whole time, and could now see everything.

"What?" Lureen asked, looking up at him. "I think you cooked it properly..."

"It's not that," he replied, feeling stunned. "I...I've just realised something."

"Which is...?"

"I keep talking about how I need time to get used to the idea, but...isn't that what engagements are for, besides planning the wedding? Isn't it about preparing yourself for the commitment?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"

"Because...if we got engaged when he comes back, we would then be planning our move to Iowa. So we'd have a bit of time before the wedding, wouldn't we? If I asked him, he'd give me the time, like you said. So even if he does ask me, I would have plenty of time to get used to the idea." He grinned. "You know what? The more I think about it, the more I wanna do it."

Lureen smiled at him. "You'd be okay with a proposal?"

"I really think I would be. When Ennis asked you what I think about it, what did you say?"

"I said I wasn't too sure, which was the truth. Until just now, I didn't know how you feel about it."

"Okay," he replied, nodding and thinking. Maybe he could have a little fun of his own. "Alright. In about a month, you can call him and let it slip that I'm okay with the idea of getting married, as long as I have time to get used to it. That'll let him know that it's a good idea to propose to me."

"You sneaky little bastard," she replied, grinning. "Honestly..."

"I'm gonna tell him afterwards," he reassured her. "But I can have some fun first. He started it, anyway. Let him think that I'd be really happy with a proposal."

"Okay. But why in a month? Why not sooner?" she asked, looking puzzled at this strange part.

"Might look suspicious, since he only asked you last month. Give it a bit more time. I'll let you know when I think it's good."

"Alright. So...you really want to marry him?" she asked, smiling widely. He nodded.

"Yeah, I do. I love him so much...and we're going to be together for the rest of our lives. Getting married is the next logical step after moving in together, and it'll be legal. It all fits, really. And...I know now that we both want the same things." He sighed, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. "Well...that's it, then. He'll think it's a good idea to propose, so he'll do it...and I'll say yes. It's all gonna work out."

"It sure is," Lureen agreed, raising her wine glass. "To you and Ennis."

He grinned and raised his own, clinking them. "To love."

* * *

_June 30th, 2011_

On Thursday evening, Jack was just getting home from work when he could hear his phone ringing, and he answered it without seeing who it was. "Hello?"

"Jack, it's me," Ennis replied, sounding a little tired. Jack grinned and could practically feel his face lighting up.

"Hey, baby. How's it going?"

"Well, we've just reached Rota. It's really warm here...what time is it there?"

"Just gone six in the evening...why?"

"We must be six hours ahead, then. It's just gone midnight. I'm gonna be sleeping on the ship and then tomorrow we'll be exploring."

"That sounds great," Jack said, looking through his freezer for something to eat. "You're gonna send me loads of photos, right?"

"Yeah, you bet. I can't wait to see everything...but I wish you could be here with me..."

Jack smiled sadly, putting the chicken pie he'd found into the oven. "I know, Ennis. But just remember how soon you'll be back. Just over three months to go."

"Yep. That sure is keeping me going...can't wait to be back with you."

Jack grinned when he thought about Ennis wanting to propose to him. Maybe it was a little crazy, considering how little time they had spent together over the last few years, but it also felt right. Things had happened for them very quickly, and this was mainly due to how little time they had. It did make some sort of sense for them to get engaged when Ennis returned; maybe they could get married around their anniversary next year, which would give them six months.

"Me neither, bud. It's not easy, but I know we'll be okay. Listen, um...I just wanted to ask...when are we planning on moving after you get back? Right away, or what?"

"Don't know...I didn't really think about it, to be honest. We could give it a week or so, I guess. I know it's a big thing for you, moving away from everything you know, so I'm gonna give you whatever time you need before we leave."

Jack smiled and knew he was right; Ennis would do anything to make him comfortable with these changes. Ennis was bound to do the same before their wedding so that he could get used to the idea. "Thanks, Ennis. You really mean a lot to me, and...I'm looking forward to spending my life with you. I just have this gut feeling that it's gonna work really well. I just know that we're gonna be happy." By now he was sat at the table and eating with one hand.

"I do too, Jack. And I'm really happy that our parents are so supportive. It'd be a lot harder for us if they weren't; I wouldn't even consider moving up there with you if I thought my parents might not be alright with it. But I'm glad to say that this isn't the case."

"I know. I thought your dad especially might not be okay with it, since he was in the army. But apparently he's completely accepting; I never expected that."

"Me neither. Anyway...any luck on the job front?"

"I keep looking, and your parents have been helpful. So I think I'll probably find something that works for me. What about you? Didn't you say you wanted to work with animals?"

"Yep. My mom said she knows a vet who's looking for an assistant, so that might work. I need something more relaxing after this kind of life. It's time for me to settle down, you know?"

"I get what you mean, Ennis. And who better to settle down with than someone you really love?" Jack asked, smiling softly. Ennis laughed.

"Couldn't have said it better myself, bud. I wish I could stay on the phone all night, talking to you. But I'm getting tired..."

"I know; you sure sound like it. You should get some sleep, Ennis; it'll do you good. We can talk some other time, I promise."

"Yeah, of course we can. I think we're gonna be here for a while so I'll probably call you again before we leave. Anyway...guess I'd better go..."

Jack could feel his heart sinking a little; there was never enough time for them. "Yeah. I hope you have a good time there, Ennis. I'm happy that you get to see those places, even though it means you being away from me. I'm coping pretty well."

"I'm glad to hear that. I'd feel guilty if you weren't; I'd probably quit right now, if I hadn't sooner."

"Ennis...that's really sweet. But you don't have to do that. It's been two years; we can cope with three more months. And after that, we'll be together every day. We'll be fine, bud."

"Yep. Anyway, I'd better get to bed. Everyone else seems to be already. I'm in the corridor so I don't wake the other guy."

"Get some sleep, Ennis," Jack told him firmly. "And enjoy yourself over there."

"Yep. Night, Jack...love you."

"I love you too. Night, bud." He clicked off after a few seconds and smiled to himself; talking to Ennis so often did indeed help with the loneliness he felt. He often went onto online maps and would look at the distance between them, wherever Ennis was. It pained him to know just how much space there was between him and the man he loved, but he had to keep on going and just try to cope.

He finished his dinner and then retired to the sofa, needing to relax after a long day. Lureen had been ill that morning so he'd covered her shift, and was by now looking forward to a quiet evening. He would probably be dreaming of Ennis tonight and that was okay; he loved the dreams he had of his lover.

He thought about the proposal that was bound to happen when Ennis returned, and the thought of saying yes made him happy; he could do this as long as he had time before the wedding to get used to it. He knew that Ennis would give him that.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

_Sunday, July 10th, 2011_

_Dear Jack,_

_We're still in Rota at the moment, which is proving to be an enjoyable place. The weather is always great, but I still miss the rain back home. We could do with some of that here, since it's so warm. _

_I'm looking forward to coming back and having you in my arms again. I miss you every moment of every day, even though we'll be together again soon. I hold your shirt close to help me sleep, and it seems to work. It's almost as good as having you here with me. _

_It's going great on the ship now that Mike isn't around. Turns out that he loves to harass people. There are a couple of guys whose families come from Jamaica and Africa, so you can imagine how Mike reacted to them. He wasn't pleasant towards anyone who he thought of as different, so I wasn't the only one suffering. The atmosphere is a lot better now that he isn't around, so I've got to be grateful for that. It's interesting how a single person can affect an entire ship so much, but we're all glad that he's gone and won't be bothering us again._

_My parents got in touch yesterday; my mom spoke to the vet who's looking for an assistant and he's happy to give me an interview when I get back up there. He even said he'll hire a student for the summer and then give the job to me if it all goes well. I hope you can find something too; it would be great if we could both get a job in the pipeline for when we move up there._

_Anyway, I also want you to know that I spoke to my landlord over the phone and explained that you would be moving in with me. He said he'll be happy to draw up a new contract with both of our names on it, which I thought you might want to know. Everything seems to be coming together for us now, which does make things easier because we won't have to deal with it later on. It'd be great if we could just settle in normally and have a smooth transition._

_If you also want to make any changes to the apartment when you move in, that would be fine with me. It'll be your home too and I want you to feel that it is. We'll be sharing everything equally, so it's only right that you feel comfortable where you live._

_I'm really looking forward to us being partners; I know we use the word now but it'll be really true when we're living together. I want you to remember how much I love you, and how I want to make you happy. We'll be okay, Jack._

_Take care of yourself, bud. I'll be home very soon and then we can have our new life together. _

_I love you very much, and take care._

_Love, Ennis xxx_

He smiled as he finished the letter, knowing that Jack liked to hear from him. Their correspondence was always treasured and he hoped one day to see Jack's journal entries. Once they were living together, it wouldn't be as painful to see Jack's thoughts during this time. It would all be over by then and they could look back on it without being sad.

He was just putting it into the envelope when he heard a knock on his door; to his surprise it was the captain. "Sir," he greeted, saluting. The captain waved a hand and Ennis relaxed. Although they were friends, he was still very respectful of the authority that the captain still held.

"Ennis, how come you're here and not in the city?" he asked, looking puzzled. Everybody else was out exploring as far as he knew; they never passed up the opportunity to see a new place.

"I was just writing a letter to Jack," Ennis informed him, indicating the envelope on his desk. "I figured I could mail it from town this time."

"Alright. How's it going with you two? He's moving into your place, right?"

"Yep. In fact, I...I've actually been thinking about proposing to him when I get back," Ennis admitted, still not too sure if he should or not. The captain looked at him in surprise. Ennis realised that only Richard and Lureen knew about this idea; not even his parents were aware of it. He would tell them if Jack accepted.

"Really? That's great, Ennis. I sure hope he accepts..."

"Well, I haven't decided yet. I asked his friend Lureen if she knew what he thinks of marriage, but she wasn't too sure. Maybe it's too soon, since we haven't actually spent that much time together. I don't wanna scare him off, after all."

"That's true. But you have to have a good think about your relationship. Only you can decide if it would be a good time to do it or not. It was a good idea to ask his friend, but if she isn't sure...maybe you could get her to ask him outright?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, that's a thought. I don't know yet; I really don't want to do anything that causes me to lose him. If I ask, and he says no...how do we recover from that?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Ennis. But Jack clearly loves you and wants to be with you, so it will probably be alright. You just have to have a little faith; that's all. Now, I want you to go out into the city and enjoy your day. Stop worrying so much, alright? Just mail that letter and try to relax."

"Yeah, I know. Anyway..." He picked up the envelope and nodded to the captain. "I'll get going, then."

"Good. See you later." The captain left the room and Ennis soon followed suit, knowing that he did indeed have to stop worrying. Everything was going to be alright and he knew that.

* * *

Ennis did as he was told, leaving the base and heading through the streets of the city. He soon saw that the crew were not the only tourists here; there were clearly plenty of people here on vacation and he could see why. The sun was beating down on the stone under his feet and he could hear the sea nearby; this was an ideal place for relaxing.

He started off by walking along the beach to observe the water and feel the sand on his bare feet; he would love to know what Jack might think of a place like this and decided that he definitely wanted to bring Jack here one day. It did seem quite romantic.

As he walked through the streets and plazas, full of people, he did see many of his friends walking around. It was decided that they would all meet up for lunch at a café that someone had noticed, so for now he carried on walking and thought about getting a present for Jack; he loved bringing things home for his partner and knew that Jack would appreciate the gesture.

He settled on a seashell bracelet with white shells, that he figured would look good against Jack's tanned skin. Living in Florida for all his life had given Jack a wonderful tan that Ennis just loved, especially when Jack was naked and he could see all of it. He'd soon realised that Jack had obviously been sunbathing naked at some point, and had asked him about it.

"_There's this nudist colony who come here in the summer," Jack told him. "And they don't care about people sunbathing naked nearby, so that's what I do when I want a tan all over. It's the best time to get one."_

Ennis smiled as he fondly remembered this conversation, picturing in his mind what it might have looked like. There was something about a naked Jack that appealed to him very much, probably because of how he was so attracted to the man. He mentally shook himself and went to pay for the bracelet before he became too distracted; it wouldn't do for him to leave the shop sporting wood, after all.

Afterwards, he found his way to Castillo de Luna-Moon, a castle not far from the base. He threw a coin into the fountain in the courtyard for luck and walked around, looking at the beautiful architecture around him and wishing more than ever that Jack could be sharing this with him. He would simply have to bring Jack here one day.

When he met up with his friends for lunch, they immediately noticed the bag in his hand. "Is that something for Jack?" one of them asked, and he nodded.

"Yep. A seashell bracelet. I think he'll like it," he replied, showing it to them. Richard nodded.

"That's really nice. Looks like you two are really becoming a proper couple, huh? Moving in and everything..."

"Yeah...I can't wait for that. I just know that it's gonna be great and we can make each other happy. It's all sorted out and we're looking for jobs. But I think I might wait a bit until I can be available. There's no point applying if I'm not gonna be there."

"Right. But it's always a good idea to be prepared. Then by the time you move back in, you and Jack can just settle down and get on with things."

"That's true. I know it won't be easy all the time, despite how much we love each other, but I do know that I want this. Maybe it's completely crazy, but...I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him. And I know he wants that too."

"I guess there's no rules to this," Richard told him. "You just have to do what feels right to you. And if you're sure that Jack wants the same things as you, then I say go for it."

Ennis nodded and knew that they were right; he should take chances because he was certain that Jack would always love him. But he couldn't deny that he was wary of asking Jack to marry him after so little time spent together. What if it just backfired and became too hard for them to recover from? He would never forgive himself.

After lunch, he excused himself and decided to go for another walk on the beach. He knew that he had a lot of thinking to do about what he was going to do when he returned to Jack. Part of him wanted to propose, but he was just so scared of losing Jack if he was turned down. What he needed to do was, as the captain had suggested, get Lureen to ask Jack if he might be ready. Surely she could make it out to be in a hypothetical sense, so that Jack wouldn't be suspicious. It might just work if he planned it properly, so he would need to talk to her at some point if he wanted her help.

He sat down on the sand and watched the waves for a while, letting the relaxing sounds wash over him and thinking about Jack back home. Ennis wondered what he might be doing right now, and checked his watch; it would only be around eight in the morning back there. Jack wouldn't be up at that time on a Sunday, so Ennis decided to leave him be. They could talk later at a more decent time that wouldn't involve a groggy Jack who couldn't hold a sentence together. Ennis did love it when Jack was sleepy, because he found it endearing and remembered the mornings when they had woken up together. When he returned in October, he would have that every morning. Maybe they could even have breakfast in bed sometime.

He smiled and looked at the bracelet he'd bought for Jack; he was so looking forward to going back home, whatever that might involve for them and their future.

* * *

_July 15th, 2011_

On Friday, they were finally leaving Spain. To Ennis, this meant that he was on his way home to Jack at long last, and for good. They were going to be together every single day from that point, and although he wasn't sure what to expect from this because he wasn't used to it, he was certainly looking forward to the notion.

He was going to speak to Lureen today, now that he was on his way home. He needed her to find out what Jack thought of marriage and if he wanted it, so this was the only way. He was still unaware of the plan that Jack had hatched with Lureen to make him think it would be a good idea.

He was leaning against the railings on the deck, looking out over the city and remembering his vow to bring Jack here one day. If they did get married, maybe they could come here for the honeymoon; that sounded very romantic to him.

He sighed as he realised that this also meant saying goodbye to his friends. They were going to stick around for a bit once they landed back in the port, so that he could say goodbye properly and introduce them to Jack. He knew that the captain also wanted to meet Jack, so this would be the only time. He had enjoyed this last trip, since Mike wasn't around anymore and his equally nasty friends were keeping their distance. But it was time to draw a line underneath it all and move on. He would build a new life with Jack and become someone else; different from who he was here. He would find a new purpose with a new career.

He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and was surprised to see Lureen's name. "Lureen?" he asked, feeling puzzled.

"Hey, Ennis. How's it going?" she asked, and he didn't know that she had been given instructions from Jack to do this.

"Um, fine. We're leaving Spain today, so we're on our way home."

"That's great! Listen, um...I have some information for you, if you're interested. About the marriage thing..."

"Oh, okay...what is it?"

"Well, I was talking to Jack about you, and...I asked him about the future. I asked if he would ever consider marrying you, since you're moving to a state where it's legal. And...he said that he would love that."

"He did?" Ennis asked, now in shock. "I mean...he really wants to? What about the time thing? We haven't spent much together..."

"He knows that, but he's still sure of what he wants. He loves you, Ennis...and he wants to be with you forever. So I guess that's a good sign, right?"

"Yeah, that...it's amazing. I can't believe it...he really wants to?"

"Yeah, he does. So...are you going to?"

"I was hesitant before, but...if I can be sure that he'll accept because he wants to, then...yeah, I think I will. But I don't have a ring and I don't have time to get one..."

"I'm sure that won't matter," she reassured him. "You can have rings specially made for the wedding in due time. If you really want engagement rings, you can have those done too for now. Don't stress yourself out now, okay? It'll be fine."

"You're right. Thanks, Lureen, I...that really helps. I can make a decision now."

"Glad to help, Ennis. Have a safe trip back."

"Yep, bye." He clicked off and stared at his phone, a grin unfurling on his face. Jack wanted to marry him, and would accept if he asked; surely this was some kind of sign?

He had barely wrapped his head around the idea when his phone rang again; this time it was Jack and he remained unaware that the pair of them were in the same room. "Jack?"

"Hey, baby. How're you doing?"

"Well, I'm on my way home. We're leaving Spain today," he informed Jack, his mind full of the fact that Jack wanted to be married to him. He couldn't stop smiling at this.

"Really? That's great! So when will you be back?"

"About October, I reckon. Probably before your birthday."

"Okay. So then you'll be staying with me until we move, right?" Jack asked, and if Ennis had known about the plan then he would be marvelling at Jack's acting skills.

"Yeah, that's what we agreed. Um...you're coming down to the docks, right? When I land?"

"Of course I am. I wanna be right there when you come off the ship, and I don't care who's watching because the law's being changed. They say it'll be repealed in September, so nobody can do anything about it."

"Thank God for that," Ennis replied, sighing. "I'm glad that my friends won't have to hide anymore. It was bad enough for us and I couldn't go through that again."

"I know. But at least it's nearly over for us; you'll be back before we know it."

"Wish I could be there sooner, Jack. I'd swim if it got me there quicker, and if it were safe."

Jack sighed. "I'd rather have you here in one piece, Ennis. I want you to be safe since you're nearly home. After all this...I couldn't take it if something happened now. We're so close to that life together..."

"I know...and every day brings me closer to you," Ennis agreed, smiling wistfully. "I...I love you, Jack. Wanna spend the rest of my life with you and there's no two ways about that. It's gonna be great..."

"It really is, bud. Now you make sure to get plenty of sleep, because we're gonna be celebrating all night when you get back. I'll make you see stars," Jack purred down the phone, making him blush.

"Um...well, that sounds promising. Listen, I think they're calling us in now for the departure, so I'll speak to you soon, okay?"

"Yep. Love you too, Ennis. Bye bud."

Ennis bid him goodbye and was pretty much decided by now. Upon his return, he was going to propose to Jack.

* * *

That night, Ennis was once more unable to sleep. Now that he had made a decision, he kept going over in his head how it was going to happen. He knew that he wanted to do it upon his return to the States, but he still wanted to plan it out. Because of the circumstances, there were things he would need to say to Jack in order to ensure that he didn't frighten him. But Lureen's words to him had made him fairly certain that this wasn't going to happen. Jack wanted a proposal and Ennis wanted to give him one; so it was perfect.

He smiled as he watched the water from the railings; they had made a start on the journey home and he was very much looking forward to going back. He couldn't wait to see Jack's face when he asked the question, because he knew it would make Jack happy.

One thing he wanted to do was talk to Jack's parents about it, just to make sure that they would be okay with it. The fact that he and Jack were gay didn't mean there couldn't be some tradition to it; he wanted everything to be done properly.

He wondered what their wedding would be like; he knew that he wanted his friends to be there if it were possible; if he spoke to the captain it might be possible for them to time the shore leave so that his friends could be there, depending on when the wedding would be. He wanted to share the special occasion with the people who had been there for him while he'd been missing Jack.

Ennis looked out over the dark water and thought about the moment when he'd met Jack. He'd never expected to meet someone so perfect for him, and yet he had. Jack was simply his other half and there was no denying that. He didn't like to think how things might be for him now if he'd never met Jack; he would still be very lonely and might even probably be looking to sign a new contract. Fortunately, he had new plans now and they were all about Jack. He couldn't wait for them to live together.

He was decided now that he was definitely going to propose when he got back, and he was sure that Jack would be happy to accept it when he did.

"_You're amazing," Jack sighed one night after a round of lovemaking. He was lying on Ennis's chest and purring softly. Ennis kissed the top of his head._

"_Because of you," he replied, nuzzling Jack's dark hair. "You bring out the best of me, bud."_

_Jack rose up a little, looking at him in surprise. "You mean that?" he asked, sounding touched. Ennis nodded._

"_I really do, Jack. I love you so much..." Jack grinned at him, kissing him firmly on the mouth._

"_You're sweet, Ennis. I know you keep saying that you're not much good with words, but...you're wrong about that. Everything you do say to me is more than enough; you always show me how much you love me. Every single moment we spend together...it's always something special. I just...I can't wait until we're spending every day together. We'll make great partners."_

"_Yeah, we will," Ennis agreed, hugging him tightly. Jack kissed his neck and settled down, and Ennis knew he was happy._

He smiled fondly at the memory, hoping that they were going to have many more of them. He wanted to experience so much with Jack, and he knew that he was going to have that soon.

He got into bed a little later and soon fell asleep, thanks to Jack's shirt in his arms. The familiar scent wafted around him and he had a smile on his face as he slept.

"_Morning," he said happily, wrapping his arms around Jack from behind. His fiancé grinned as he stood at the oven. _

"_Morning, bud. Making you some pancakes; I know they're your favourite. It's nearly ready."_

"_Mmm, smells good. But then so do you..." Ennis murmured in his ear, squeezing him. "I love you...and I can't wait to marry you..."_

_Jack turned his head to kiss him. "Me neither. We're gonna be really happy. Even more than we are now, if that's possible."_

"_Hmm, we'll have to work even harder then," Ennis pointed out, making Jack laugh. "It'll be such a chore..." he sighed, chin resting on Jack's shoulder as he watched Jack cooking. _

"_Definitely. That means lots of kisses and hugs and talking and sex...sounds awful," he said lightly, still grinning._

"_Oh well; I'm sure we'll manage to get through it." Ennis kissed the back of Jack's neck and finally let him go, setting the table. It was an idyllic life and they were happier than ever. Nothing could possibly come between them now._

Ennis woke up with a smile still on his face. This faded when he realised that it had been just a dream, but he was still pretty happy. Maybe it was an insight as to what life would be like when he and Jack were living together and engaged; if this was the case then he was looking forward to it more than ever. He knew that they were going to be happy; he couldn't see any reason why they wouldn't be, since they would be getting what they both wanted. Surely there was no reason to worry about the future. They simply had to get through Mike's trial, but then that would be it. Afterwards, they could focus on each other.

He turned over and curled up again, sniffing Jack's shirt and picturing his lover's face before him. It didn't take long for him to drop off in a different kind of dream involving Jack; one that ended in stained sheets and a blissful feeling. It was all he could do to try and stave off the loneliness, after all. And he would be home soon; that was driving him on.

* * *

_July 30th, 2011_

On Saturday, Ennis decided to call Jack's parents and hopefully get their blessing for him to propose. He hadn't yet told his friends that he was definitely going to do it, so that would happen after he'd spoken to his potential in-laws. He couldn't see them refusing; they knew how much he loved Jack and that he would be good to him. But it was still nerve-wracking and he hoped that it would go well.

When he was alone in his cabin, he dialled their house number and waited with bated breath, butterflies in his stomach.

"Hello?" asked the voice of Jack's father, and he gulped.

"Um, Mr Twist...it's Ennis."

"Oh...good afternoon, Ennis. What can I do for you?" John asked in a friendly tone. Ennis was still wary of him, though, for some reason.

"Well...I've been doing a lot of thinking about me and Jack lately. With me coming back and us living together and everything...gives me a lot to consider, you know?"

"Yeah, it does. I hope you're not backing out," John said suspiciously. "After all this?"

"No, far from it. I wanted to ask you something. I still wanna be with Jack," he reassured John; the very thought of leaving Jack made him shudder. He simply couldn't live with himself if he broke Jack's heart.

"Oh, okay then. Sorry to sound harsh just now...but he's my only kid. We want to make sure that whoever he ends up with, that they'll be good to him."

"I understand, and you don't need to worry about that. I wanted to ask...for your permission to marry him," Ennis said in a rush, heart pounding. "I wanna propose to him when I get back, so..."

"You want our blessing," John finished. "Well...I'm surprised that you asked first. Not many people do that these days."

"I know, but...I wanted there to be some tradition to it, even though we're both guys. So...?" he asked hopefully, not knowing what he would do if he was refused.

"Well, I know my boy is crazy about you. And you seem to make him happy. You're good for him, Ennis. So I can say, on behalf of myself and my wife, that you've got our blessing to ask him."

"Thank you," Ennis replied in relief, grinning. "Thank you so much..."

"Sure. Are you certain he'll accept?"

"Yep. I asked Lureen to ask him what he thinks about marriage and if he might be ready for it. She told me that he wants to marry me, so I figured it would be the right time."

"Really? That's great, Ennis. I hope it goes well for the two of you. Are you going to visit us again before moving up to Iowa?"

"Uh, yeah...we can do that. Thanks a lot, sir. It means a lot to me that you're agreeing to this."

"I know you'll look after him, Ennis. That's what's important to us. Good luck, then."

"Yep, thank you. Bye."

Ennis hung up and exhaled; that had been hard for him to do, but at least it was done now. He and Jack were going to get engaged when he returned, and the thought made him very happy. He'd always wanted to fall in love and settle down, even when he'd realised that he was gay, and now it was going to happen. It couldn't get any better than this.

After a while, he exited the cabin in search of his friends; he wanted to tell them the good news now that it was going to happen. He couldn't see Jack saying no if he wanted it so much.

He found them playing cards in one of the rooms, and he cleared his throat. "Guys? Have you got five minutes?"

They all looked up and greeted him. "We'll be finished in a second," Paul told him, and he nodded. He sat down as he waited, yearning to tell someone his plans. When they were finally done, they all turned to look at him. "What's going on, Ennis?"

"Well..." he started, feeling very nervous about doing this. "The thing is, I've got some news. It's not official yet, but it's gonna happen. I've given it a lot of thought, and...I've decided that when I get back in October, I'm gonna propose to Jack."

There were a few seconds of stunned silence, and then he was engulfed in a group hug from his friends, all of them giving him their congratulations and best wishes. "That's great!" Richard told him, grinning. "I knew you were thinking about it, but..."

"Yeah. I talked to his friend Lureen. She said he wants to marry me and would accept a proposal if I gave one. And I even spoke his dad just now; I've got their blessing to ask him. So I'm gonna do it, when I get back," he finished, smiling widely. "I know it's a little crazy, considering how little time we've actually spent together, but...it feels right to me. I love him."

"We know you do," Richard replied, clapping him on the shoulder. "And I'm sure that you guys will be very happy together. I've seen how you are with him, Ennis...it's clear that you're crazy about each other."

"We really are. A few weeks ago, I had this dream that we were living together and engaged. It was...really good, you know? I liked that feeling. So it really does feel right for me to ask him, since it's something we both want."

"Are we invited to the wedding?" Paul asked, and Ennis grinned.

"I think we'll set a date in either April or October next year, and I'll call the captain to ask him if the shore leave can be timed with it so that you guys can be there. I know that Jack wants to meet you guys, so...you'll stick around when we land, right? He'll be there."

"Of course we will," Paul replied, nodding. Ennis smiled his thanks, happy that life was going so well for him right now.


	25. Chapter 25

_Author's notes_

_Hey guys :) Please check out my livejournal after reading this, the entry titled Important Announcement. You all need to see it. _

_Kathryn xxx_

* * *

**Chapter 25**

_Friday, August 5th 2011_

_Not long to go now until Ennis comes home. I've been looking forward to this for months and soon he'll be here. There's just over two months to go, which I know will drag by but I don't care; he'll be here one day and that means so much to me._

_Lureen did as I asked her and told Ennis that I was open to a proposal; she says that he's now seriously thinking about asking me. I know it's a little manipulative, but he was hesitating because he wasn't sure how I would react. All I'm doing is giving him a nudge in the right direction, and I will tell him the truth once it's done. I'm pretty sure he won't be mad at me; it was for a good reason._

_I've been taking another look through the photos of Ennis's place that his parents sent to me; it really does look like somewhere I could settle down in, especially with him. I know we'll be happy._

_I do wonder about what his proposal is gonna be like; will he get down on one knee in front of everybody there? I know he's shy about this kind of thing, so maybe not. But it doesn't matter; I'm sure now that he's going to ask me because he knows that I won't turn him down. He knows I want to marry him so he's bound to ask me now._

_When I think about being a teenager, when I realised that I was gay, I honestly never thought that I would meet someone who could make me happy. There's still so much stigma about gay people and it was even worse back then. But now, I've got Ennis. He makes me very happy and I swear I will do the same for him no matter what. I would literally do anything for him, even move to a different country if he asked._

_I don't know what else lies in our future, but I would like all the 'normal' things that people take for granted. A home, a partner, kids...I want all of that. I don't know if we're meant to have kids in some way, but I do hope so. One day we're bound to be ready for it and it would be great to raise a baby with him; he'd make a good dad._

_But for now, I'm just thinking about what's coming next. One step at a time, so that we can savour every moment. I really hope that everything goes well for us, but I know one thing. Even if there are hard times ahead of us, for whatever reason, I know that we will be able to deal with them together because that's what a relationship is about. We can look after each other and we're strong together._

_I love him so much, and I can't wait to spend my life with him. I know in my heart that it's going to be great._

Jack put his pen down and picked up his phone, which had just buzzed with a text. He grinned when he saw Ennis's name.

_I love you. Be home soon and I can't wait xxx_

The sight warmed his heart, and he loved knowing that Ennis was thinking about him so much. It was never easy for him, being away from Ennis for so long, but soon enough it would all be over and they could concentrate on their new life. Whatever it held for them, he knew he would enjoy it.

He texted back and closed his journal, stretching.

_Can't wait either. Miss you so much xxx_

Jack fondly recalled the time when Lureen had reported back that Ennis was going to propose to him upon his return. It had been a great moment for him and he would never forget it.

"_He's going to do it," she replied after hanging up. "He was hesitant before because he didn't know if it was too soon, but...it looks like he's gonna do it." She took his hands excitedly and he kissed her cheek._

"_Thank you so much, Lureen. He just needs a nudge in the right direction; that's all. And I promise that when it's done, I'll tell him the truth. I hope he doesn't feel manipulated..."_

"_Oh, Jack...I'm sure he won't. If anything, I think he'll be grateful that you took matters into your own hands like this. You said yourself that he's shy about things like this, so I think he'll be happy."_

_Jack smiled and nodded, truly grateful that things were going so well._

He sighed as he thought of that day, and he couldn't wait for the moment when Ennis asked him. He didn't think that Ennis would have had time to get a ring, but he didn't care. They could sort that out once they were engaged; get matching bands or something and then have another pair made specially, perhaps with inscriptions. That would be a good idea to make the rings unique.

He loved being able to plan out his future, knowing now that he was going to have one with Ennis. There was surely nothing better than to plan a life with someone that you love, and Jack was discovering that now. He couldn't wait for Ennis to get back so that they could do this together.

He heard his phone buzz again and looked at Ennis's new message.

_I've got a surprise for you when I get back. I think you'll like it xxx_

Jack grinned, knowing exactly what it was. He was tempted to tell Ennis that he already knew, but this was just too much fun. He would make it up to Ennis in the best way possible when they were celebrating.

_I'm sure I will. Come home safe to me xxx_

He thought about the long distance over the sea, and wondered exactly when Ennis would be coming back. Hopefully it would be before his birthday, so that they could start sharing these special days together.

* * *

That night, Jack was watching TV from the sofa when he heard his phone ringing. _I'm popular today, _he mused to himself as he turned the volume down and answered it, glancing at the screen; it was his mother. "Hey, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Really looking forward to Ennis coming back..."

"I'm sure you are. He seems to be a good man, Jack. We trust him to take care of you, and to make you happy."

"So do I. And you know I'll do the same for him when he needs me to. I love him so much."

"I know you do, honey. And there's not long to go, right?" she asked, and he smiled; she was right about that.

"No...just over two months, maybe closer to that. I've been waiting for nearly two and half years, so I can wait a little longer for him. I know it'll be worth it in the end because...we're just so made for each other, you know?"

"I know. I wanted to ask...you're still coming for a visit before heading up to Iowa, right?"

"Yeah, of course we are. Why?"

"I thought we could really celebrate your new life. Invite some relatives, have a big dinner, you know?"

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Mom...could there possibly be another reason for this?" he asked suspiciously; did she know about Ennis's plans? He thought that only he and Lureen knew, and she was sworn to secrecy.

"Um...no," she replied unconvincingly, and he sighed.

"Mom, I love you. But we both know that you can't keep secrets. You know what Ennis is planning, don't you? That he's gonna propose to me?"

She sighed. "Yeah, we do. I'm sorry, honey...he called your dad and asked for our blessing, which he's been given. I've been bursting to tell you because I'm so happy for you, but...how do you know already?"

"Because Ennis spoke to Lureen ages ago, asking her what I think of marriage and if I might be ready for it. Turns out that he was thinking about it, but wasn't sure in case I turned him down. So she asked me, I figured it out and got her to tell him that I wanted to marry him. So that made him decide to go for it. He's gonna ask me when he gets back."

"Oh, Jack...this is wonderful! You two are going to be so happy!"

"I know," he replied, grinning. "So this dinner...it's for the engagement, right?"

"You got me," she replied, laughing. "I want to make a fuss over you two. As your mother, I have that right."

Jack smiled; he was very happy that they were so accepting of his life. It meant a lot to him. "Thanks, Mom. And maybe Ennis's parents will do the same once they find out. I'd like all of you to meet before the wedding, you know."

"We'd like that, Jack. I'm so happy for you, honey...when you came out to us I thought..."

"You didn't know if I'd find someone," he finished for her, nodding to himself. "But now I have, and you don't need to worry about me anymore."

"Jack, I'm always going to do that. It's what parents do. How do you think he's going to propose?" she asked. He wished he could answer that question.

"I've no idea," he said honestly. "I know he's shy, though. So maybe it'll be a quiet thing at the port, just us. I know that his friends want to meet me, though, and the captain. So they'll probably be hovering nearby, ready to congratulate us. I would like to share it with our friends. And I'm hoping that they can come to the wedding, too. That would be great."

"It would," she agreed. "I'm very happy for you and your new life, Jack. You deserve to be as happy as we are, regardless of who with."

"Thanks, Mom," he said softly. "That means a lot to me. You know, after Ennis proposes I am gonna tell him that I already knew, and that I got Lureen to coax him into it. I'm sure he won't be angry at me."

"Definitely not. If he was so hesitant because of your reaction, then it makes sense for you to push him in the right direction. Sometimes people need a little guidance, or they'll never make a decision. Without you doing this, he might never be brave enough to ask. But I'm sure it won't last forever, Jack; he'll find his confidence with you and making decisions."

"Yeah, he will. Once he knows for sure that I want all of this stuff with him, then he won't be scared to ask. I mean...one day...we might have kids. And that's a decision we'll need to make together."

"It will be. It would be wonderful if you had children, in whichever way you decide. There are loads of options these days, and I know it's expensive but you've got us and Ennis's parents. We'll all help you out; I'm sure."

"Thanks, Mom. I just...can't wait to spend my life with him. I wish he could be here sooner..."

"Just remember one thing; every day brings him closer to you. That way, it won't seem as long to wait. He'll be back before you know it, honey. And then you can have the life you've always wanted."

"Yeah. Anyway, Mom...I think I'm gonna head to bed soon, so..."

"Okay, honey. Keep your chin up. Night, Jack."

"Night." He clicked off and yawned, knowing that he should probably go to bed soon. He was bound to dream of Ennis tonight, which he always loved. It was just enough to keep him going when he felt so lonely.

As he locked up, he thought about what domestic life with Ennis would be like. He had some notion, from when Ennis had stayed here during shore leave, but it would be different. They would be partners, and he was very much looking forward to that.

* * *

_August 10th, 2011_

On Wednesday, both Jack and Lureen had a day off. They decided to spend it at Jack's apartment while he looked closer at the potential jobs that he could go after; he figured he might as well make a start on this since Ennis would be coming home soon. He didn't know exactly when they were going to move, but he knew he had to be prepared.

It wasn't very hard, now that Ennis's mother had given him some pointers. He was now aware of the best places to look and where to avoid, which was exactly what he'd needed help with. It probably wouldn't be as difficult now.

"Anything?" Lureen asked as she hovered behind him with a sandwich, peering at the screen. He nodded.

"Yeah, there's loads of stuff. But to be honest, it's not easy to decide. I know I'd have to start at the bottom with a new career, and I'm fine with that. But there's so many places that want assistants and...they all look good. Don't really know where to start."

"Well, you know what they say...beggars can't be choosers, Jack. I would suggest going down the list and applying to everything. That might be your best option, you know?"

"Yeah, probably. Then I can at least narrow it down, right?"

"Yep." She went to sit on the sofa and he started doing as she suggested; clicking on every job that he could do and uploading his résumé. Then he stretched and yawned; he'd been at it for a couple of hours now.

"Who knew that this could be so difficult?" he mused, and she grinned.

"You're doing this because you love him," she reminded him. "That's a good enough reason to make a few life changes, right?"

"I know," he agreed, nodding. "And I really do want all of this. I just...I hope that nothing goes wrong now. What if there's a storm at sea? Christ, what if they get attacked? You hear all the time about those Somali pirates hijacking boats..."

"Jack, it's not a fishing boat," Lureen said, kneeling up to look over the back of the sofa at him. "They're the Navy, for God's sake. They've probably got loads of weapons on there to defend themselves. As for storms...okay, it could happen. But I'm sure they know what they're doing. The Navy's been going for a very long time, remember?"

"I know, I just...it's not easy, being here when anything could be happening to him. And if something happens while he's away...I don't know what I'll do."

Lureen sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I understand that you worry for him. But you can't do this to yourself, Jack. It won't do you any good in the long run and you'll just do yourself damage. You know that Ennis wouldn't want that; he'd feel guilty."

"Yeah, that's true," he admitted, nodding. "You're right; I'm sure he'll be okay. Still..."

"Stop it," she said gently, getting up to walk over to him, hands on his shoulders. "He's going to be fine. Come on; just try and concentrate on what you're doing here. If you have something to do, you'll think less and won't worry so much."

Jack did as she told him, trying not to let his thoughts stray to Ennis's safety. She was right, but he couldn't help it. Things had been going so well for them lately and now Ennis was planning to propose to him; he couldn't help but feel that it was all too good to be true, and that something was bound to go wrong with it. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but this was only because he loved Ennis so much. He would feel a lot better when his partner was safely home.

"Can I ask you something?" he said suddenly, and her head popped up from the sofa again.

"Sure."

"What do you make of all this? I mean, me and Ennis...we're moving along so quickly even though we haven't spent that much time actually together. Do you think it's too soon?"

"Do you?" she asked in alarm. "Are you having doubts?" He shook his head; that was far from the truth. There was no way that he could have doubts about being with Ennis.

"No, nothing like that. I just wonder about what other people think. Our parents seem happy for us, but then they just want us to be happy. You're more neutral, less biased. So what do you think?"

She sat up. "Well...it is moving along very quickly. But didn't your parents get engaged less than a year after meeting?" He nodded. "Some couples just know right away that they're supposed to be together. And that's just the way it is. I guess you get a feeling, you know? That this is the person who is your perfect match. I believe in soul mates, and I'm sure that you and Ennis are perfect for each other."

"He is my soul mate," Jack agreed; he knew that much if nothing else. "I don't know...maybe I'm over-thinking things again. But I am sure, a hundred percent, that I'm supposed to be with him. I just can't imagine settling down with anyone else, because...I want my life to be with him. I want everything that he can give me, and I swear that I'll do the same for him."

"There you go," she said simply, grinning at him. "Now you know how you really feel. It doesn't matter what other people think; all that matters is what you think, Jack. You and Ennis...if you're sure that you want to be together, you can't let anyone else tell you anything different. You just have to go for it; life's too short not to."

He knew that she was right, and he nodded. He and Ennis were good for each other, and he never wanted to be with anyone else. This was surely a lifetime thing that he had here, and he would nurture that as they built their new life together.

* * *

That night, Jack was once more alone in bed. He was stretched across it, trying to fill the gap in Ennis's absence and wishing that his lover could be there with him. It was never easy during the day, but this time was always the worst. They tended to have a lot of sex while Ennis was here, and he missed it. He had needs, after all. But there was simply no way that he was going to search for a one night stand just to pass the time; he would never forgive himself.

All he could do for now was try and imagine that Ennis was here with him. It usually worked well, with him holding Ennis's shirt close to his chest. He could almost believe that his partner was here.

_He rolled over a little and was met with a familiar sight; Ennis's warm brown eyes were gazing at him. "You're here..." he sighed, smiling. Ennis stroked his thigh, sending shivers down his spine. "I missed you..."_

"_I know. But I'm here now," Ennis murmured to him, leaning down to kiss the back of his neck. "You don't have to move, Jack. Stay right there," he instructed, watching Jack lying on his side. Jack nodded and turned his head away again, eagerly anticipating what was about to happen. _

_He heard the lubricant being snapped open and he grinned, being able to picture it in his mind. Before he knew it, Ennis was pressing him down to the mattress and sliding one leg between his own, straddling him from behind. Jack gulped when he felt the penetration, trying to focus on the aftermath of the pain that shot through him. "Oh God..."_

"_Just relax," Ennis soothed, nuzzling his neck. "I know it hurts, but you'll be okay..." He slowly worked his way in, seeming to know when he had to pause so that Jack could get used to it. At last, Jack could feel Ennis buried inside him and the pain faded away to be replaced by gentle pressure. It felt as good as ever, and he reached a hand back to Ennis's hip. _

"_Ennis...come on, move..." he breathed, pushing back to let Ennis know it was okay. He was answered by a firm kiss on the back of his neck as Ennis started to move inside him, taking it slowly. They moved together silently, except for a few gasps and whispered names._

_Afterwards, they lay together in pure bliss with Ennis holding Jack tightly. "That was amazing," he sighed, squeezing his lover. Jack purred in response._

"_It really was. We're good together, aren't we? We just...fit together, you know?" he replied, stroking Ennis's arm._

"_I know what you mean," Ennis agreed, lazily rubbing his foot against Jack's. "Two halves of a whole, I reckon."_

"_Mmm. Hey...you up for another round?" Jack asked, becoming aroused by something that was poking at his ass. He was well aware that Ennis was after some more, and there was no way he was going to refuse. He could never quite get enough of this man._

"_Reckon I am," Ennis replied before pouncing on him again._

A clap of thunder made Jack wake up with a start, and he sat up. He blinked around the room and soon realised that there was storm brewing outside. He didn't think anything of it at first, but then he remembered his fears of something happening to Ennis. What if the storm was coming from the sea, where Ennis was?

Without caring what time it might be, he grabbed his phone and quickly sent a text; he just had to know that his lover was okay. Hopefully it wasn't a very bad time where Ennis was.

_Storm brewing here, are you okay? I'm worried xxx_

He sat on the end of the bed, biting his lip; what if something was wrong? He wouldn't be able to take it if his new life was snatched away from him when they were so close. He didn't think he would ever get over losing Ennis.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Ennis called, and he immediately answered. "Ennis?"

"I'm fine, darlin'," Ennis assured him. "There's no storm out here. We're nowhere near the States yet. But you don't sound so good..."

Jack raised a shaky hand to his eyes, breathing deeply. "I panicked, okay? I was just talking to Lureen earlier about you getting caught up in a storm, and I was worried. So when I woke up just now and heard the thunder..."

"Jack..." Ennis said in a soothing voice, trying to calm him. "I'm okay. I appreciate you worrying, but there's really no need. Are you okay now?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I am. Sorry if I woke you up...but I just had to make sure that you were okay. We're so close to being together, and if something happened now to take that away from us..."

"Hey, it's okay," Ennis told him gently. "Nothing's gonna happen, bud. I'm on my way back, and we're gonna be together for the rest of our lives. I promise you that."

Jack thought of Ennis's plan to propose to him and he smiled; he was so much looking forward to that. "I know, Ennis. Whatever we've got coming in our future, I only want to spend it with you. I know we can make each other happy, bud..."

"We really can. Now you should get some more sleep, Jack. You know what you're like when you're tired; good for nothing but lying on the sofa complaining." His tone was light and affectionate, making Jack laugh. Ennis did know him very well; they were obviously suited to each other.

"That's true. Thanks, Ennis. This really helped. I love you..."

"I love you too, darlin'. Night."

"Night, bud." Jack hung up and sighed, feeling much better. He always did after talking to Ennis, after all. He got into bed again and curled up with Ennis's shirt, knowing that he would sleep much better now. Soon enough, Ennis would be home.

* * *

_August 18th, 2011_

On Thursday, Jack was spending his lunch break in the park. Ennis would be calling him soon, which he was looking forward to. There was still quite some time to go before Ennis returned, but Jack was sure that he could cope. It had been two years; what was another few months?

He still worried about Ennis, with him being so far away, but all he could do was try and remember that Ennis could take care of himself. Jack knew that he would never truly relax until Ennis was safely home with him.

He sat there on a bench, eating a sandwich and watching the world pass by. What would it be like when he and Ennis were living together? How would they adjust to being together every day? He wasn't entirely sure, but he was looking forward to it anyway.

Jack grinned when his phone started ringing and he saw Ennis's name on the screen. "Hey, bud."

"Hey, darlin'. You feel better now? You didn't sound so good that night when there was a storm..."

"I'm fine now," Jack assured him. "I just panicked, you know? To be honest...I'm kind of embarrassed..." He knew that he could admit this to Ennis without fear of being laughed at; Ennis loved him and would never judge or mock anything he did or felt.

"You don't need to be," Ennis told him gently. "Honestly; you really don't. You panicked because you love me, and that's not a bad thing at all. But it won't do you any good to worry about me all the time; you'll run yourself ragged. I told you, two years ago, that you should just try to carry on as best you can without worrying. That's why I'm so glad that you've got Lureen; because at least then you're not alone."

"But I don't love her like that, so it's not the same," Jack told him, sighing. "She's like my sister...it's completely different when you're here."

"I know. Even when I'm with the other guys, I still feel lonely without you," Ennis admitted. "What are we like, huh?"

Jack grinned. "Guess we're just crazy about each other. And I love that feeling, Ennis. To be so in love that I feel lonely without you...not everybody gets to feel that in their life. We're very lucky to be together."

"We sure are. And things are only gonna get better when I come back. You'll love the surprise I've got for you."

Jack had to wonder if Ennis had found a ring after all, but he could just mean the proposal itself. To Ennis, it would be a surprise, and Jack wanted him to have that for now. "I'm sure I will, if it's coming from you. Can I get a hint?" he asked hopefully, and Ennis laughed.

"Sorry, bud. Not gonna happen. But you can believe that it's something great. You trust me, don't you?"

"With my life," Jack replied seriously, knowing in his heart that it was true. "And I'm not even exaggerating, Ennis. I really do." He trusted Ennis more than anyone else; this wonderful man would never hurt him.

"Jack...I can promise you something right here. I will never hurt you, or allow someone else to hurt you. I...I know you can look after yourself but I'll always want to protect you. I...I love you more than anything else, baby. And I never want to lose you."

Jack smiled, feeling a lump form in his throat. "Same to you, Ennis. And...I appreciate what you're saying. I feel exactly the same about you."

"We're a right pair, aren't we? Talking sweet nothings to each other down the phone like a couple of teenagers..."

"I like it," Jack replied, leaning back against the bench. "I don't know...when I was growing up I never thought I'd have a relationship like this, with anyone. So I'm making the most of it."

"You're right," Ennis agreed. "We should do that. Living together...it's gonna be really great, Jack. I know we'll be happy."

"I agree," Jack said, smiling. "Why does it have to be so long before you come back?"

"I know, darlin'. I miss you so much...even to just hold you would be good right now, you know? And to kiss you...this sounds crazy, but I miss your lips. Seems to me like they just fit with mine, you know?"

Jack felt warm throughout his body, enjoying this conversation very much. "I know what you mean. And I think you're right, Ennis. We're just perfect for each other. What are the odds of finding the love of your life, these days? People go from partner to partner, never really finding the one that they want to spend their life with. Those of us who do...we're really lucky."

"We are. Listen, I...I need to get back to work soon. And I guess you do too, right?"

Jack sighed. "Yeah, that's true. Never enough time for us, is there?"

"Unfortunately not. But there will be soon, bud. Take care of yourself, yeah? And don't worry so much. I'll be home soon."

"I know. I can't wait for that day, Ennis. We're gonna be so happy..."

"Yep. I love you, Jack. Speak soon..."

"Okay. Love you too, sailor." He clicked off and sighed to himself, wishing that he could just go to sleep and wake up when Ennis was home. He hated the long waiting and the pining, but soon it would be over and Ennis would be home for good. That was enough to keep him going. In a year's time, this would be a mere memory because they would be used to domestic life by then. They would probably even be married.

He smiled when he thought about Ennis wanting to marry him. That was a clear indication of how strong Ennis's feelings were, even if he sometimes struggled with the words. He was humbled that Ennis wanted him, and silently vowed that he would be a good partner; the kind that such a man deserved.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

_October 3rd, 2011_

At long last, Ennis was about to arrive home for good. Jack had woken up that morning with a huge grin on his face, very happy that he would be seeing his future fiancé so soon. Sometimes he just couldn't believe it; he'd been crossing off the days on his calendar in anticipation.

He was currently waiting for Lureen to arrive; they would be going over to the port together because she wanted to be there too when Ennis arrived. Jack had to wonder if she wanted to find herself a sailor; Ennis had said that there were a few who were also finishing their contracts today. He wanted her to be as happy as he was.

"_We're about two hours away from the port," Ennis told him, sounding breathless. "God, I can't wait..."_

"_Me neither," Jack replied as he got dressed. "I wanna kiss you so bad..."_

He wanted to do more than that, of course, but a hug and a kiss were the only acceptable options in public. The rest could wait until tonight, when they were in his bed. That was where Ennis belonged; with him.

He sat on the arm of the sofa, chewing his lip nervously. He was very thankful that he didn't have to work today so that he could be here for Ennis's arrival. Jack looked at his watch; it wouldn't take them long to reach the port and Ennis was just an hour away now. He was starting to wonder where Lureen was and if they would make it in time.

The buzzer went off and he rushed to press the button. "Hello?"

"It's me; I've got a cab," came Lureen's voice, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, I'm coming." He glanced around the room and grinned; Ennis would soon be here to make it complete. Locking the door behind him, he rushed down the stairs and met her by the cab. She smiled at him, knowing how important this day was for him. He would be getting engaged today, after all.

"He's gonna be here soon," she reminded him, squeezing his hand. Jack nodded and couldn't keep his own smile from his face.

"I know...come on..." They got into the cab together and Jack simply couldn't settle down. Two and a half years of waiting and pining; now Ennis would be here for good soon. He looked at his watch; less than an hour to go until he saw Ennis again. Why did the time have to drag by so much? He was half-convinced that the clocks were moving slowly on purpose, just to annoy him.

"Calm down," Lureen told him, squeezing his arm. "We'll be there soon and then he will be...you'll kiss and he'll propose...it's gonna be fine."

He nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I just...still can't believe that we're at this point. It's one of those things that you want to happen, but never think it will..."

Soon enough, they were at the port with fifteen minutes to go; the ship was already in sight and making its way to land. Jack grinned as he thought about Ennis on there, waiting for them to arrive.

There were other people waiting here, and he felt like he was part of something; surely he couldn't be the only guy waiting for a lover, now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell had been repealed the month before. That had been a great day for him and Ennis.

When the ship drew closer, Jack peered closely at the front deck and wondered if Ennis was going to be there. He couldn't wait for the moment when they clapped eyes on each other at last.

Sure enough, he grinned when he spotted a familiar face searching the crowd. Their eyes met and Ennis smiled widely at him, looking happier than Jack had ever seen him. "He's there..." Jack said, unable to fully comprehend that Ennis was finally home. He'd waited for this for so long.

"Remember to act surprised, at least to start off with," Lureen reminded him. You can tell him the truth after."

Jack nodded and watched Ennis disappear into the ship, ready for landing. Very soon, they would be back together. "God, why does this have to take so long?" he groaned, feeling nervous and frustrated. "I just wanna hold him..."

Lureen shook her head in amusement and they continued to wait. Before they knew it, a plank was being lowered from the deck onto the port and people started cheering as sailors disembarked. Jack pushed his way to the front with Lureen just barely managing to hold on to him, and his eyes fixed on the deck where they were coming from.

A much-beloved face appeared again, making his heart soar. Ennis was there, in full uniform and Jack felt so proud of him for seeing it through despite the difficulties they had faced. It had been worth the wait.

Ennis half-ran down the plank to him, and before Jack could register anything he was being grabbed and pulled into a deep kiss, Ennis's arms firmly around him. He was dimly aware of people cheering before the world seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of them in their embrace.

When they finally broke apart, after what felt like hours, he was grinning. "Hello to you too," he said breathlessly, and Ennis cupped his cheeks, eyes scanning his face.

"God...we're finally here, Jack. Back together like we wanted...I love you so much..."

"I love you too," Jack replied, lip trembling slightly as he hugged Ennis tightly, feeling like a weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. It was over now, and they were going to be together. He'd dreamed of this moment for months, but those dreams had been nothing compared to the real thing. He couldn't even describe how he felt right now; just happy.

Ennis squeezed him, and he knew there and then that he wanted to propose to Jack right away. It was time.

* * *

They broke apart, and Jack was still grinning. "So...you said you had a surprise for me...what was it?" He knew what it was, but he still wanted to hear it. He had been looking forward to this.

Ennis took a deep breath and immediately launched into his speech. "Jack...there's a reason why I wanted us to move to Knoxville. More than just me being homesick, I mean."

"I figured that, but...what else was there?" Jack asked, trying to keep a straight face. He knew what Ennis was going to say, but he wanted Ennis to get through it.

"Well...you ought to know...same-sex marriage is legal up there. That's why I wanted you to live up there with me. So that...we could get engaged," Ennis said to him, trembling with nerves. Jack nodded.

"Right. So even though you've spent most of the last eighteen months at sea, with us spending a few days together at a time, you're now asking me to not only move hundreds of miles away to a state that I've never set foot in, but to also marry you and make this huge commitment. I've counted...we've spent just over a month actually together, Ennis. You're asking this of me in spite of that..."

Ennis could feel his heart sinking, convinced that Jack was about to say no. This was what he'd feared, and now he didn't know what he was going to do. To hear Jack say these things...it did make some kind of sense. "Jack..."

"Let me finish," Jack said gently, squeezing his hands. "We haven't spent much time together, so people might tell us that it's completely crazy. But you know what?" he asked, looking into Ennis's eyes. "There is nothing in this world that would make me happier."

Ennis looked up at him, eyes wide. Had Jack just accepted? "What...?"

Jack nodded, grinning. "Ennis...I already knew that you were gonna propose to me. Lureen let it slip that you were thinking about it but weren't sure. I realised that I wanted to do it, so I got her to convince you it was the right thing to do. And I know you asked my dad for his blessing. My mom couldn't keep her excitement to herself."

Ennis was stunned. "You knew, all this time?"

"Yep. But...you're not mad at any of us, are you? This is a wonderful thing, and people can't always keep it to themselves."

"I'm not mad," Ennis replied, breathing a sigh of relief. "I wasn't sure about asking you because I didn't know if you'd accept...so it's a good thing that I knew for sure..." He gulped. "Are you saying yes, Jack?"

Jack smirked. "You'll have to ask me properly, bud. I wanted it done properly, you know?"

Ennis nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. "Alright," he replied, and then he got down on one knee. Jack glanced up and saw a group of sailors watching them, including Richard; the rest must be Ennis's friends. Everybody was watching them by now, and they were all smiling.

"Jack...I've never met anyone like you before. Male or female...you're like nobody else. And...sometimes I wonder if you're even human because I think you're so unique. I...I look at you, and I want to make you happy. When I think about someone hurting you, like Mike, I want to drag you away and hold you until you're safe. Sometimes it scares me, how much I love you, but it's a good thing and I love this feeling." Ennis had tried to practice this speech beforehand, because he'd wanted Jack to know these things.

Jack glanced up at Lureen; she had tears in her eyes. He wasn't far behind himself.

"So...I want to spend every moment of my life making you happy," Ennis continued. "And...I can't think of a better way than this. It's something that we both want, after all. And I think we're actually ready for it. We've always asked ourselves where we would be by now if we'd spent every day of the last two years together. We probably would be married by now, so..."

"It does make sense," Jack agreed. He was smiling and blinking back tears; now that Ennis was actually asking him, he knew for certain that he did want this.

"Right. Now...I don't have a ring," Ennis admitted sheepishly. "Didn't get the opportunity to buy one. But I thought we could sort that out in our own time. But..." He cleared his throat. "Jack Twist...will you marry me?"

Jack grinned, already being able to see his future with Ennis. "Yeah, I will," he replied, and Ennis immediately stood up to hug him again. Jack buried his face in Ennis's shoulder, and they swayed together as they embraced. "I love you," he murmured, and Ennis squeezed him tighter.

"I love you too, Jack...so much..." He pulled his face away and then pressed his lips to Jack's, their promise sealed.

"You guys..." came Lureen's voice when they broke apart. She was grinning widely and hugged them both. "Congratulations..."

"Thank you," Jack replied, hugging her. Then Ennis's friends came over to talk to them, and Jack was introduced to everyone.

"We're gonna talk to the captain about you guys coming to the wedding," Ennis informed them, and Jack nodded, having taken his hand and squeezing it. "Where is he, anyway?"

"I think he'll be coming down here soon," Richard replied, nodding over at the plank. "I know he said he wants to meet you, Jack."

"Right. Actually, Richard...could I talk to you for a second?" he asked, and they moved away from the group a little. "I, um...I wanted to thank you. For being such a good friend to Ennis while he was missing me and then that Mike thing. It really means a lot to me that he had a good friend."

Richard smiled. "No problem, Jack. I'm looking forward to that wedding, now. All the best for you guys." They shook hands, and Ennis watched them with a smile on his face.

* * *

Ennis's friends had to go soon after this, but they had given the betrothed couple their numbers so that they could be contacted about the details of the wedding. Now it was just them and Lureen, who was busy sidling up to sailors that looked single. Ennis had Jack in his arms as they waited for the captain to arrive, kissing softly.

"I can't believe we're engaged," Jack said, arms around Ennis's neck. "You're my fiancé now..."

"I know," Ennis replied, eyes scanning Jack's face. "This is amazing..." Then Ennis spotted the captain walking down to them and he smiled. "He's here..."

Jack turned and smiled too when the captain approached. "Hi..."

"Jack Twist? I'm Captain Martin Peterson. You must be the young man who's taking Ennis away from us," he said with a smile, shaking Jack's hand.

"Afraid so," Jack replied, grinning. "Thank you so much for supporting Ennis, when Mike was harassing him. He was scared and...you really did a lot for him."

"It's no problem," the captain replied. "I hate the idea of someone being discriminated against just because of who they are. And Ennis seems to love you very much, from what he's said. Ennis, did you ask him...?"

Ennis nodded. "Yep, we're engaged," he replied, hugging Jack to him. The captain nodded.

"My congratulations, then. You wanted to know about shore leave in April, so that your friends can attend?"

"Yeah, if it's not too much trouble," Ennis told him.

"Well...I can tell you we're going to Rio de Janeiro next. Down in Brazil, you know? I think I might be able to arrange it so that the first two weeks of April are the next shore leave. Would that suit you?"

Ennis and Jack looked at each other; they hadn't really thought of a date. "Um...I don't know. I guess that works for us..." Jack said, trailing off. Ennis smiled at him.

"We could get married on the thirteenth, our anniversary," he said softly, and Jack's eyes lit up.

"Yeah...that's perfect," he replied, smiling and kissing his fiancé. "That sounds really great."

"Then it's settled," the captain said, nodding. "The first two weeks of April, including the thirteenth, will be the next shore leave. That gives your friends plenty of time to attend your wedding and still do what they normally do."

"Sounds great," Ennis said, and then he smiled. "Of course...you're invited too. I'd like you to be there as well. Feel like I owe you that much after everything you've done for me."

Martin smiled wider. "I would like that very much, Ennis. I'll take you up on it. Goodbye for now, then. And all the best to you." He shook their hands again and nodded to them before returning to the ship. Ennis put his arm around Jack again.

"Right then," he said, picking up his bags once more. "Are we ready to go?"

Jack grinned at him; they were finally starting their new life together. "I think so. You reckon we should call our parents?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's go and find one of the buses first and we'll call on the way." Ennis took his hand and led him to the bus depot, hoping that there was still one left. The cab that Jack had taken here was long gone by now; he hadn't wanted to pay to keep it here for so long.

They managed to find one and boarded it, sitting at the back together since it was empty. They stretched out and both of them dialled the house numbers of their parents.

"Mom?" Jack asked, sounding happier than ever. "I've got something to tell you."

"I came back to shore today," Ennis informed his mother. "And I asked Jack to marry me..."

"Of course I said yes," Jack said, laughing. "I've wanted this for ages; ever since I found out he wanted to ask me."

"He said yes, so now we're engaged," Ennis told his mother happily. "We're getting married on our anniversary; the thirteenth of April." That was already a special day for them, and was to be even more of one now.

"All of Ennis's friends from the ship are gonna be there; the captain too. It's gonna be great."

They finished their phone calls and settled down together, Ennis's arm pulling Jack close to him. "Well, I guess our moms are beside themselves with excitement. They'll be after planning everything for us..."

"Yeah," Jack replied, grinning. "You know what? All of us should go for dinner sometime. So that they can get to know each other and I can meet your parents. We're getting married, Ennis...we should start to get to know each other's families. My mom suggested that, you know. Said we should invite some relatives of mine if we go to their house."

"That sounds great," Ennis agreed. "So...was that just out of the blue?"

"Well...the way she said it was as though they just wanted to celebrate us moving in together. But I soon figured out what it was really about, and she admitted that you'd asked my dad for permission." He smiled to himself; it seemed as though everyone was looking forward to this wedding.

Ennis laughed. "Looks like they got us all figured out, huh? Are we that obvious?"

"That we're crazy about each other? Probably," Jack replied, resting his head against Ennis's chest. "I don't really care. At least we've got friends and family who support us. Not all gay people have that..."

"I know. We're really lucky." He kissed the top of Jack's head. "I love you so much, darlin'...and I can't wait to marry you. We're gonna be so happy..."

Jack smiled up at him. "Yep. You know what? When we get back...we ought to celebrate." He smirked. "If you know what I mean..."

Ennis grinned and kissed him, sliding a hand up Jack's leg. They were so looking forward to their wedding and new life together; it was going to be everything they had hoped for and probably more.

* * *

Jack opened the door of the apartment and he grinned at Ennis. "Welcome home," he said softly, and Ennis kissed his cheek. He already felt at home here, mostly because it included Jack.

"It's good to be back," he replied, looking around the familiar space. "And this time I'm not going away again without you."

"Sounds good to me," Jack said as he led the way inside. He rubbed the back of his neck. "You want something to eat or drink?" he offered, not knowing how long it had been since Ennis had eaten. Now that they were engaged, Jack wanted these domestic moments; it felt good to him.

"No, I'm fine. Maybe later," Ennis told him. He tugged Jack's hand. "Come over here..." He led his partner over to the sofa and sat him down.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked in an amused voice as Ennis sat behind him, pulling him close. Ennis's arms slid around his stomach from behind and squeezed him.

A few moments later, Jack had his eyes closed as Ennis kissed his neck, purring in pleasure. "Mmm...that feels good..." he sighed, a smile of contentment on his face.

"I missed you," Ennis murmured to him. "Talking to you on the phone was good, but not quite the same as holding you, like this..." He kissed Jack's ear. "I wanted to hold you so much...and when I realised I wanted to propose to you it made the waiting even worse. Those few months felt like years..."

"I know...but it's over now," Jack replied, leaning back into him. "We're together at last, and we're getting married. I think we're gonna be just fine now."

"Yep. You know what? I was thinking...maybe we could start planning our wedding? At least in general?" Ennis suggested, and Jack nodded. They might as well make a start since it was just six months away.

"Okay. I guess the first thing is the venue," he replied. "We'll be living in Knoxville by then, so we could find somewhere up there. Or maybe even do it here, in the city where we met. I don't think we could do it abroad, not with your friends attending. We have to remember that they've only got two weeks and some might want to take trips home to wherever they live as well."

"Yeah. I know some that live in other states," Ennis pointed out. "And we have to think about our families too. Not just our parents, but anyone else. Neither of us has any siblings, so..."

"Aunts, uncles, cousins...you got any grandparents still alive?" Jack asked. "My dad's folks are still alive, but that's it."

"All mine are gone. So there's just the other three of those, plus our parents. We need to do a head count at some point, I guess."

"We can do that when we send out invitations," Jack suggested. "Get a list together, send them out to everyone, and see who can come. That's the way to do it."

"Sounds easy enough. I can't wait to marry you," Ennis sighed, squeezing him tightly. "I was so nervous about asking you, even after Lureen told me that you wanted to do it. And you...plotting with her like that," he added, poking Jack in the ribs. Jack grinned.

"You needed a gentle push in the right direction," he pointed out. "You were too scared to ask in case I said no, or if I only said yes out of pity or guilt. That would have been us getting engaged for the wrong reasons, if I wasn't ready. But this...we've done it for the right ones. Because..." He turned his head to look at Ennis. "When she told me what you were planning, I realised that I did want to marry you. At first I wasn't sure because I hadn't given marriage much thought at all. I'd never thought that I could do it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. She said as much when I talked to her afterwards. But you realised that you were ready?"

"Yeah. I gave it a lot of thought, and I knew deep down that I wanted it. And even if our parents had warned us that it was too soon and too crazy, I wouldn't have cared because...all that matters is what we think. If we're sure that we're ready to get married, then that's all we need to know."

"You're right," Ennis told him, allowing Jack to turn around so that they could kiss. "And it's really happening...we're getting married on our anniversary. We're going to make that date even more special than it is now."

"Definitely. And...I don't know how you feel about having kids, but..." Jack trailed off, biting his lip. Ennis shrugged.

"Never really gave it much thought before. But...I think I do want to be a father, and if you want it too...then I guess it's probably on the cards for us. We've got no idea what the future holds for us, so I think we should just wait and see. If it's meant to happen, then it will."

"Good thinking," Jack agreed, smiling at him. "I love you so much...can't believe that you're finally home for good..."

"Well, you'd better believe it. Because we're never gonna spend more than a few hours apart ever again. Even if, God help us, one of us ended up in hospital or something, we'd fight tooth and nail to stay together, wouldn't we?"

"Of course. And once we're married, we'll have rights. If you were unable to make a decision about surgery, I would be able to do it for you. And same for you if it were me. We can take care of each other, Ennis."

"That's true. I love you so much..." His stomach rumbled, making Jack laugh. "Is the offer of food still going?"

"Sure. Come on; I'll make you whatever you want." Jack stood up and led Ennis by the hand into their kitchen, ready to make a start on their new domestic life together.

* * *

They entered the bedroom together that night, looking at the bed in anticipation. This was to be their first time as a betrothed couple, which they both knew was a very special thing. They'd been looking forward to this all day, maybe even longer.

"You ready?" Ennis asked softly, squeezing Jack's hand as they stood at the foot of the bed. Jack nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, I am. Come on...my fiancé."

Ennis grinned. "I could really get used to that, at least until you're my husband." He leaned in and kissed Jack softly, moulding their lips together in the familiar way they were used to. Jack moaned a little and they broke apart, understanding in their eyes. There was no real need for words; they both knew what this night would mean.

They kissed a few more times, starting to undress each other silently. Jack ran his hands over Ennis's strong muscled chest, very much appreciating how it felt. Ennis was giving his body just as much attention, eventually sliding his hands down to work on Jack's belt buckle. "Mmm..."

Before Jack was fully aware of it, they were half-lying on the bed and kicking their jeans off. Things were a little blurry in his haze of lust, but it was good. They managed to get up to the headboard, Ennis pressing Jack down to the mattress and nibbling his neck. Jack groaned when he felt his erection growing harder. "Ennis..."

"Tell me what you want," Ennis whispered to him, settling between Jack's legs. He was so close to pushing inside, which wasn't helping for Jack.

"Please...fuck me," he moaned, tilting his hips upwards. "I wanna feel you inside me, like...you're claiming me. I wanna feel that again..."

Ennis nodded and quickly smoothed the lubricant over himself before doing as Jack asked. He slid inside and watched as Jack finally relaxed. "Oh...that's it," he sighed, closing his eyes. He wrapped his legs around Ennis's waist; a clear sign for Ennis to move.

They were silent as they made love, except for whispering now and then. Jack could feel that something was different this time; it didn't feel as though they were on borrowed time anymore.

"Feels different," he gasped out as they rocked together. "Ennis...something's different than before...you feel it?"

"Yeah...like...we've got all the time in the world now," Ennis replied, pushing deeper. "We're not rushing like we used to..."

"I know...oh God..." he groaned when Ennis trailed a hand down his chest. "This is amazing..."

"Yeah...Jack..." Ennis murmured, planting his lips on his lover's firmly as they moved together, holding Jack close to him. There was something different about this time, compared to how it used to be. But he loved it; he felt even closer to Jack than before.

It only took a few more thrusts before he felt himself coming into Jack, head buried in his lover's shoulder. Jack wasn't far behind, shooting in between them with a yell and then collapsing. Ennis sank down onto him, breathing deeply. "Darlin'...that was..."

"I know," Jack replied, wrapping his arms around Ennis and kissing his cheek. "I missed you, Ennis. Everything about you, and not just the sex. Although I did miss that a lot," he added, grinning. "I mean...being with you. Sitting on the sofa like earlier, eating together, talking...I missed all of it. And now we're gonna be doing that every day. Feels so surreal, you know?"

"Yeah, but we'll get used to it," Ennis pointed out, stroking his chest. "We'll get used to spending so much time together, I'm sure."

"You're right," Jack agreed, nodding as he looked up at the ceiling. "Ennis...you do realise that there's one more thing we have to get through, right? Mike's trial...remember?"

Ennis groaned and rose up, looking down at him; he hadn't really wanted to discuss this yet. "Yeah. I was told that the police in Texas will get in touch with me when they've got a court date decided, now that I'm back. Will you come with me? I don't wanna face it alone..."

"Of course I will," Jack replied, hands on Ennis's neck as he gazed up at his partner. "You don't even need to ask, Ennis. When you told me that it would go to court, I'd decided that I would go with you no matter what. You need moral support, and I can give you that. The captain's already made his statement, right? I know he won't make it back in time."

"Yeah, that's right. So it's up to us to make sure that Mike gets what he deserves. We'll do it, won't we?"

"Yep," Jack replied, smiling at him. "I won't ever let you deal with something like this by yourself, bud. We're engaged, after all. It's my job to be there for you, because I know you'd do the same for me."

"Of course I would," Ennis confirmed, and then he finally rolled off Jack to stretch out in what was now their bed. "It's what being a couple's all about, I reckon. When we make our vows at our wedding, it's gonna be about sickness and health, better and worse...all that stuff. Just because we're not married yet doesn't mean we can't start practicing that. We're still engaged, after all."

"We sure are," Jack replied, grinning and leaning in for a kiss. "And I can't wait for us to move. What are we doing about rings? Should we get a pair of engagement rings now and then have some made for our wedding bands?"

"Sure," Ennis agreed, and he gently touched Jack's cheek, eyes roaming Jack's face. "Two and a half years...now here we are. It's been worth the wait, though, right?"

"It really has...because we're together now and that's just how it's gonna be for the rest of our lives," Jack replied, leaning in close to him. "We'll be really happy, Ennis...because we love each other."

"Yeah." Ennis pulled him into a warm embrace, thanking his lucky stars that everything had worked out for them at long last.


	27. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

After Ennis's return, he and Jack soon started packing up the apartment in preparation for their move. Both of them thought that they might as well get on with it, since they were getting married in the spring.

The first thing they did was to pick out engagement rings together. They found a jewellery store and Jack immediately spotted a pair of plain silver bands.

"What do you think of these?" he asked, pointing to the case. Ennis looked closely at them and nodded.

"Yeah, they're nice. And we could have something specially made for our wedding bands later on. I like those."

"So do I," Jack agreed, and they smiled at each other.

They spent Jack's birthday on the twelfth together as their last night in the apartment, ready for their new life together. Ennis bought him a brand new watch, since his old one kept stopping.

"You really like it?" Ennis asked, looking nervous. Jack smiled at him.

"I love it," he assured his partner, leaning in for a kiss. "I'm so happy that you're here with me..."

"Me too," Ennis replied, kissing him back.

Afterwards, they moved up to Ennis's apartment in Knoxville. Jack was greeted warmly by Ennis's parents and made to feel like one of the family, which made Ennis happy. He had always wanted them to get along, and it looked as though everything would be okay.

In November, Mike faced the court in Texas for the crimes he had committed against Ennis. Jack came with his partner for moral support, and gave an encouraging look as Ennis made his statement to the jury. With the statement from the captain that had been made, the case concluded with Mike being sentenced to a minimum of five years without parole. Not only that, but he would also be subject to a restraining order that meant he had to stay away from Ennis and Jack upon his release. Ennis couldn't believe it.

"It's over," he sighed as Jack held him. "He's finally got what he deserves."

"He has," Jack agreed, squeezing him. "Now we can concentrate on our future."

They did this very well, preparing for their first Christmas together. They were looking forward to spending this romantic time of year with each other.

At the end of November, the pair of them gathered their families at a rented hall in Jacksonville so that they could celebrate their engagement properly. They both enjoyed meeting each other's families, and it felt as if they knew each other even better after listening to the stories they were told.

"I'm enjoying this," Jack said as they sat together, watching their families mingle. "We're bringing all of these people together."

"For life," Ennis added, smiling. "You and me...it's a forever kind of thing. I know that for sure."

"So do I," Jack replied, resting his head on Ennis's shoulder. "I always hoped that we'd reach this point, Ennis. There was a time when I thought...we might not. It wasn't easy..."

"I know. Either one of us could have decided it was too hard, and said that it was over. But we stuck to it and managed to make it through to the other side. We made it, darlin'."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, we did..."

Christmas was a great time for them. The city was covered in snow by then, which Jack hadn't seen much of in his life. But he loved enjoying it with Ennis; having snowball fights and making snowmen together. After the two and a half years they had spent missing each other for so long, they both felt as if it was their time to have some fun and just be together.

While they spent the day at work or walking in the park, their evenings were spent in front of the TV and a warm fire. They had always loved doing this together and it was even more special since they were engaged.

"This is the life," Jack sighed, stretching and smiling. "I could really get used to this, you know."

"Good, because you might as well." Ennis kissed Jack's cheek and felt happiness running through him.

The first few months of 2012 were largely uneventful for them, which they liked. They spent most of their time planning the wedding; it had been arranged for a local registry office which would be decorated beautifully for them. The invitations were ready to be sent out by the end of February, and they liked keeping on top of things.

The night before the wedding, Ennis slept at his parents' house and the rest of the attendees were in hotels. Lureen was keeping Jack company in the apartment and they talked about everything that had happened so far. She had even managed to find herself a boyfriend; one of the crew on the ship.

"Things have happened so fast," Jack admitted, looking into his wine glass. "I mean...until he came back, we hadn't spent much time together. And then he asked me to move in and marry him. But you know what?" he asked, looking up at her. "I'm not scared of any of it. I want all of this with him and I wanna be with him for the rest of my life."

"You love him," Lureen pointed out, smiling. "It makes sense for you to want all of this, Jack. I know he feels the same."

"Yeah," Jack agreed, smiling back. "He's a wonderful man, and we want to make each other happy. I really got lucky."

"I'll say. I know it wasn't easy for you guys, being apart for so long. You were pining for each other and that's never easy to deal with. And it would have been so easy for you to cheat, without him knowing, but you didn't and I admire that."

Jack shrugged. "I wanted him; it's that simple. And if I'd done it, I would have just felt guilty. It wouldn't be right...I'd never forgive myself, ever."

The morning of the wedding was bright and clear; perfect conditions. Jack looked out from their balcony after dressing in his suit, smiling to himself. Today was the day, at last.

"Ready to go?" asked Lureen, poking her head out. She was wearing a blue cocktail dress with matching heels; it worked well with her flaming red hair. Jack nodded.

"Yep, let's go."

When they got to the registry office, he immediately spotted Ennis; they had decided to go in together. "Hey...you look good," he said, leaning in close for a kiss. Ennis grinned.

"So do you...well, are you ready for this?" he asked, looking excited. Jack took a deep breath, clearly nervous in spite of his happiness.

"Yeah, I am," he replied, and they walked arm in arm into the room. There was a soft melody playing in the background by Ennis's cousin Maria, who could play the harp. The pair of them walked down the aisle, eyes only for each other as they approached the minister.

"Family, friends, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Ennis Del Mar and John C Twist Jr. This is a joyous day for two people who had to wait for their happiness due to Mr Del Mar's service in the Navy. But through it all, he had a partner who was willing to wait for their day."

The service was beautiful, and everything they could have wanted. They exchanged words of love to each other, promising to stick together no matter what life handed them. They both knew that they could withstand anything that came their way; they were so strong. Rings were exchanged; specially made silver rings with personal inscriptions inside the bands. It meant a lot to them.

"Ennis and Jack have exchanged their vows and their rings," said the minister when they were done. "By the power vested in me by the state of Iowa, I am now happy to declare that they are legally married. You may now kiss," she added to them, and they grinned before doing so. Ennis held Jack close to him during the kiss, finally feeling content. He now had everything he'd ever wanted in life.

When they broke apart, they were soon engulfed in hugs from family and friends. Even Ennis's friends had managed to make it as they had hoped, giving their congratulations to the happy couple. It gave them hope that they too would have this.

"I'm so proud of you," Jack's mother said to him, kissing his cheek. "I know it wasn't easy when he was away so much, but look at you now..."

"Thank you...for supporting us," Jack told her, nodding. "It means a lot to both of us that our parents could get on board with the whole thing. His folks are really nice and I like living there, but you know I'll always love you guys."

"And we love you," she replied, hugging him again. He caught Ennis smiling at him and grinned back. They were going to be fine.

They had rented a dance hall for the reception, and the whole congregation was soon there with the wine flowing and the buffet almost ready to go. Ennis and Jack looked at each other happily as people helped themselves to food, soon kissing softly in their own little world. They'd been doing a lot of that lately, ever since their engagement.

"So...you guys ready for the first dance?" Lureen asked mischievously during dinner. They nodded, Jack's leg entwined around Ennis's underneath the table.

"Yeah, think so. We've been practicing," Jack replied, remembering when Ennis had booked dancing lessons for them both. It had been a welcome surprise and he had appreciated the gesture. "He knows how to tire me out..." He hadn't realised the double entendre of what he'd said until Lureen started laughing and Ennis had gone pink in the face. "Um, I mean..."

"Save it for the wedding night," she said to him, still giggling. He shook his head. He hadn't meant to phrase it like that, but at least his parents weren't in earshot. No parent wanted to know about their child's sex life, he figured.

They did have a first dance together, to a romantic song that they both loved. Jack looked up into Ennis's eyes with a smile on his face as they swayed, wondering how they had managed to get to this point. "God, I love you..." he sighed, closing his eyes.

"Same to you," Ennis replied, kissing his cheek and hearing an 'aww' sound coming from nearby. He suspected that it might be his mother because she was so happy he'd found someone he really loved. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"If I am, it's because of you," Jack replied, grinning. "And I was smart enough to keep hold of you through those months apart. I just knew that I wanted to be with you no matter what."

"I feel the same," Ennis told him, leaning in for a proper kiss as they danced. Afterwards, they retired to a pair of chairs and clinked their champagne glasses together. "I think we did well today. Everybody seems to be having fun, don't they?"

"Yeah. And look at us," Jack said, indicating the pair of rings they were now both wearing. Jack loved them and could fondly remember picking out both kinds. He wanted to share a lot of things with Ennis, and now he would be able to. That made him happy.

After the wedding, they spent their time working and getting used to living together. Ennis remained in touch with his friends and Jack made sure that his parents were okay; he knew how much they missed him.

Life passed without much incident, except for Jack getting food poisoning one time from a restaurant. They sued the place for a nice sum which they put away for their future and Jack recovered well, although it took some coaxing from Ennis to get him eating out again afterwards. Jack appreciated his patience and understanding.

When they had been married for a year in 2013, the talk occasionally turned to children. They both wanted a family, but didn't know how to go about doing this. They turned to their doctor and lawyer for help, and it was concluded that they would adopt a child together. The only person that they could have asked to be a surrogate was Lureen, and even though she'd once told Jack it would be fine, he didn't think he could ask that of her. This was the best way.

It took some time, but in the summer of 2013 they received a call to say that there was a three-month old girl in need of adopting. They learned that she was called Katie and agreed that they were ready to do this. Besides, they took one look at her and knew they wanted to.

They brought her home and soon got used to being parents. It wasn't always easy, especially with sleepless nights and less sex than they were used to, but they adjusted. They made good use of her naptimes to be together in the bedroom, making the most of the time they had.

Both of them loved this new life, despite everything it demanded of them. They were coping very well and Ennis's parents were willing to take Katie if they wanted to go out for an evening, or just to get some sleep. Both were very grateful for this, as it allowed them some time alone together; that would keep their relationship healthy.

"I'm knackered, but it's so worth it," Jack sighed one night as they lay in bed together, cooling down from a blissful bout of lovemaking. "I think she's amazing, I really do..."

"So do I," Ennis agreed, holding him. "This life, the one we wanted...it's worth all the waiting we had to go through and the stress from being parents. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world, Jack."

"Not even the high-flying life of the Navy?" Jack asked, grinning at him. Ennis shook his head.

"Not even that," he replied, nuzzling Jack's hair. "I'm much happier here because...if I was still with them, I'd still be missing you. And I'm glad that's not the case anymore...it got to be really bad. Only had your shirt for company."

Jack glanced over at the bedroom door; the day after Ennis's arrival they had agreed to put their shirts together on a hanger and put them on the bedroom door. This was a reminder of how far they had come together and how much they had endured to get to this new life. It really had been worth it, though.

"I love you, my husband," Jack said softly, stroking Ennis's chest. Ennis kissed him.

"I love you too." He held Jack close and felt very glad that he'd decided to take that particular route in Jacksonville over four years ago. It had led not only to Jack, but to a life that he would always be happy in.


End file.
